My boyfriend doesn't want sex.
This is a humiliating problem, but here goes.
My boyfriend and I have been together for about 7 months. We had been dating long distance for about a month, then he moved from NYC to California to be with me. While we were living together we were still getting to know each other. The sex has never been often, even in the very beginning. This is hard for me to understand, especially because he has been with many people before me. I got the impression he was really into sex. Now he says that was just a phase in his life and he's not that into it anymore. But I believe if you love someone you'd be even more into it, no matter how much you've done it in the past.
Now he never wants sex. He only initiates it every four or five days, usually after I've complained about us not having sex. He has told me not to initiate it and that I'm too aggressive, so I stopped making the move. I feel that he's only doing it to pacify me, which in turn makes it horrible for me.
We have talked about this, and nothing changes even though he promises it will. He told me that if I just laid off him, we'd have sex more. But the thing is, the only reason I bring it up is because we never do it! I put lingerie on for him the other night and he said he wasn't in the mood. I put a lot of effort into keeping myself attractive for him. And other people say I'm pretty, so I guess I should believe them. I don't know why he doesn't want me.
He has a different excuse every time.
Too tired
Not in the mood
Too drunk
Too hungover
Too out of shape
If we do it too much it will get boring
As a sidenote, I've never had an orgasm from sex. He also uses this as an excuse not to do it, i.e. "I feel like less of a man bc I can't make you ." So his solution is for us to just not do it at all. However, I've made it clear that it's not his fault.
It's always "later baby, I promise" I don't understand this. I told him that it's okay if he's not attracted to me sexually. I told him that maybe we should break up, because I can't be with someone and only have sex once a week, if that. He swears he's attracted to me, and I know he loves me, but I am at my wit's end. He talks about marrying me. I don't know how to move forward if this remains unresolved.