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    Fudgenut11's Avatar
    Fudgenut11 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #21

    Oct 27, 2013, 06:22 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    We have to go by what you write. ' I do ask him to give me more attention amd show his love for me. It started great and he brought mr my favourite flowers and took me to my favourite restaurant and paid.' sure sounds materialistic to me.

    I'm the sort of woman who is creeped out by expectations of affection, whether it's a kiss each time you part, or holding hands, or saying I love you. If a kiss goodbye is a requirement, it loses all meaning. And then when a kiss goodbye would mean a lot, it's just another obligatory kiss. Plus I just wouldn't want someone who has to express love! Ugh. It's for show, it's mostly fake, it's not what love is about.
    I suppose the sister with cancer was extreme, but your love for family, friends, and men will be tested against each other your whole life, mostly in little ways. That's when you will realize that love isn't about words or little rituals, it's about what you endure together, acts that stand the test of time.
    But I don't mean show in front of people, I mean when it's just us. And no, I do not ever expect anything material wise. It's the only thing he's ever done for me material wise and I was uncomfortable with him paying that amount of money, but it was our anniversary so he insisted. If you're goings bt what I've said, please take everything in to account and not just one thing said.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #22

    Oct 27, 2013, 06:27 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fudgenut11 View Post
    And no, I do not ever expect anything material wise.
    But you expect physical shows of affection and attention -- hand holding, kissing, sweet words, etc.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #23

    Oct 27, 2013, 07:59 AM
    'But I don't mean show in front of people, I mean when it's just us. '

    Wow, you aren't getting what I'm trying to say at all. I'm talking about obligatory shows of affection being creepy. As Wondergirl says, the expectation of showing affection. Showing affection needs to come voluntarily. You don't order it.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #24

    Oct 27, 2013, 08:19 AM
    What he is asking of you is just ridiculous and it is sad that you don't mind being disrespected. Leave this guy alone. You sound really desperate.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #25

    Oct 27, 2013, 08:41 AM
    He's callous and thoughtless.
    You're needy and demanding.
    You are both immature.
    Who of us wasn't immature at your age? I did some mighty immature things with the men in my life right up into my middle age.

    Good luck getting past this somehow. Just don't want you to be miserable, that's all.
    catonsville's Avatar
    catonsville Posts: 894, Reputation: 91
    Senior Member
     
    #26

    Oct 27, 2013, 05:28 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    He's callous and thoughtless.
    You're needy and demanding.
    You are both immature.
    Who of us wasn't immature at your age? I did some mighty immature things with the men in my life right up into my middle age.

    Good luck getting past this somehow. Just don't want you to be miserable, that's all.
    You have received some good advice. It would be in your best interest to listen and
    Act on it. The ball is in his court and you need to wait and see what is up his sleeve.
    Don't go to the game, end of story.

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