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    Angel12896's Avatar
    Angel12896 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 6, 2012, 12:46 PM
    My Boyfriend Doesn't Have Time For Me...
    My boyfriend of 8 months (we have known each other and been on and off for 2 years but this is the longest we've been together with no break-ups) is dealing with his parents separating and they physically fight so he is constantly protecting his mother from his dad. The thing is he goes days without talking to me and never makes time for me anymore. There is no distance- he lives really close to me. What do I do?
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #2

    Aug 6, 2012, 01:21 PM
    You back off and support him when he needs you, otherwise, just SHUT UP.
    Angel12896's Avatar
    Angel12896 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Aug 6, 2012, 03:11 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by tickle View Post
    You back off and support him when he needs you, otherwise, just SHUT UP.
    Im not a clingy person, but I am in a relationship for just that, a relationship. I talk to him when he opens up and I give advice when he asks. But you know what, I have a life full of problems as well and my boyfriend is only around when he needs something. What about when I need someone? I don't bother him, texting, calling or otherwise so the assumption that I need to shut up was very ignorant on your part.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #4

    Aug 6, 2012, 03:14 PM
    No, it wasn't ignorant on tick's part. You finally coughed up important information. I was thinking the same thing she said.
    Angel12896's Avatar
    Angel12896 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Aug 6, 2012, 03:25 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    No, it wasn't ignorant on tick's part. You finally coughed up important information. I was thinking the same thing she said.

    So I should support my boyfriend but not have anyone be supportive of me and just keep quiet? I took it the wrong way I guess. Long story short my grandpa is on hospice, literally about to die, because his cancer is defeating him. Its pretty hard to keep calm when I have no body to talk to but I have to just listen to him and give him advice but it doesn't go both ways. Relationships aren't supposed to work this way.
    johannsson35's Avatar
    johannsson35 Posts: 87, Reputation: 6
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    #6

    Aug 6, 2012, 03:58 PM
    Maybe he doesn't have time for you because he's PROTECTING his mother. If his parents are physically fighting, I think that's more important than his relationship with you. Sorry to say so, but it's true.
    Angel12896's Avatar
    Angel12896 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Aug 6, 2012, 04:03 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by johannsson35 View Post
    Maybe he doesn't have time for you because he's PROTECTING his mother. If his parents are physically fighting, I think that's more important than his relationship with you. Sorry to say so, but it's true.

    I know you are right but it just hurts to know that my grandpa is dying and I have nobody.
    johannsson35's Avatar
    johannsson35 Posts: 87, Reputation: 6
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    #8

    Aug 6, 2012, 04:06 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Angel12896 View Post
    I know you are right but it just hurts to know that my grandpa is dying and I have nobody.
    If he truly is an honest and caring guy, he will help you when he has time after his parents situation is settled. If he doesn't show any real compassion for you and your grandfathers situation... I'd leave him. Because that's a sign he doesn't really care about you.
    Angel12896's Avatar
    Angel12896 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Aug 6, 2012, 04:19 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by johannsson35 View Post
    If he truly is an honest and caring guy, he will help you when he has time after his parents situation is settled. If he doesn't show any real compassion for you and your grandfathers situation... I'd leave him. Because that's a sign he doesn't really care about you.

    Well when his parents split officially he is moving with his mom (I don't know how far away) and on top of it Im not sure when this situation will be done and resolved. I just hope you are right and he will be supportive when this is done.
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