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cici12 · Jul 18, 2012, 06:31 AM

Hello I am a girl of 19, living with this guy who confessed to me that he has strong feelings for me and I felt the same for him, since then we've been very close. He says all the beautiful things about me when we are together but when people are around he start belittling me which hurt my feelings, we are living together with his cousin (a girl) whom he plays with just to hurt me. Its really stressing me out because anytiime I see them together play fighting around the house while I am around makes me sick. I am confused because this was the same guy who confessed the crazy feelings he has for me and now he is hurting me? What should I do please help!

JudyKayTee · Jul 18, 2012, 06:32 AM

Originally Posted by cici12

Hello I am a girl of 19, living with this guy who confessed to me that he has strong feelings for me and I felt the same for him, since then we've been very close. He says all the beautiful things about me when we are together but when people are around he start belittling me which hurt my feelings, we are living together with his cousin (a girl) whom he plays with just to hurt me. Its really stressing me out because anytiime I see them together play fighting around the house while I am around makes me sick. I am confused because this was the same guy who confessed the crazy feelings he has for me and now he is hurting me? What should I do please help!

You are threatened by or jealous of his relationship with his cousin?

If he's belittling you you need to ask him why.

cici12 · Jul 18, 2012, 06:46 AM

Thanks judyKayTee, I am not jealous of his relationship with his cousin but the guy himself told me that his cousin is in love with him and I believe him because when am with him the cousin gets jealous and leaves. So the guy uses her to hurt me when ever we quarrel or have a fight.

cici12 · Jul 18, 2012, 06:51 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

You are threatened by or jealous of his relationship with his cousin?

If he's belittling you you need to ask him why.

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Thanks judyKayTee, I am not jealous of his relationship with his cousin but the guy himself told me that his cousin is in love with him and I believe him because when am with him the cousin gets jealous and leaves. So the guy uses her to hurt me when ever we quarrel or have a fight.

JudyKayTee · Jul 18, 2012, 07:06 AM

Originally Posted by cici12

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Thanks judyKayTee, I am not jealous of his relationship with his cousin but the guy himself told me that his cousin is in love with him and I believe him because when am with him the cousin gets jealous and leaves. So the guy uses her to hurt me when ever we quarrel or have a fight.

He is remarkably juvenile and I'm not sure where she's coming from - or if she's thinking at all.

I would not want to be part of this living arrangement.

cici12 · Jul 18, 2012, 07:21 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

He is remarkably juvenile and I'm not sure where she's coming from - or if she's thinking at all.

I would not want to be part of this living arrangement.

I planned to leave the house several times but his uncle is always convincing me to stay because they are going to miss my presence in the house. I will miss them too but am being hurt almost everyday and I know I deserve better and I don't know how to tell his uncle the things am going through and when ever I am not around, I realise he makes out with his said cousin but they pretend nothing happened but I can see the guilt written all over their face. Do I just move out without explaining the reason to the uncle?

JudyKayTee · Jul 18, 2012, 07:36 AM

Originally Posted by cici12

I planned to leave the house several times but his uncle is always convincing me to stay because they are going to miss my presence in the house. I will miss them too but am being hurt almost everyday and I know I deserve better and I don't know how to tell his uncle the things am going through and when ever I am not around, I realise he makes out with his said cousin but they pretend nothing happened but I can see the guilt written all over their face. Do I just move out without explaining the reason to the uncle?

I would say I had personal reasons and then I'd move out. You don't owe anyone an explanation.

cici12 · Jul 18, 2012, 07:45 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I would say I had personal reasons and then I'd move out. You don't owe anyone an explanation.

Thank you very much dear I am more relieved than ever. Good advice thumbs up!

chiradeep · Jul 20, 2012, 12:14 AM

Do not allow anybody to play with your emotion ever. Its precious and completely yours. So simply get out of that house for your own emotional & physical safety.

cici12 · Jul 20, 2012, 03:49 AM

Originally Posted by chiradeep

Do not allow anybody to play with your emotion ever. Its precious and completely yours. So simply get out of that house for your own emotional & physical safety.

Thanks for advice I was confused and had no one to talk to, the people close to me kind of abadon me for they are too buzy with other things so this was the only place I could pour my heart out. At first I thought I was being jealous but after realising that he is doing this things to hurt me I called him for a talk and I said to him don't you think what you doing is wrong? Making your cousin and I rivals? The reply he gave me was "well I thought I was doing the right thing" If you ask me his cousin was my closest friend I share some of my secret with and that same person has abandoned me to please his cousin because she has feelings for him, I was gutted sometimes the guy will kiss her and tell her sweet talks in my presence. I felt they were mocking me and the only solution was to commit suicide since the two people dear to my heart can do this awful things to me then the world would not be a better place for me either, being abandon, betrayed, heart broken no happiness etc. Your advice are really helping.

JudyKayTee · Jul 20, 2012, 04:51 AM

Originally Posted by cici12

Thanks for advice I was confused and had no one to talk to, the people close to me kind of abadon me for they are too buzy with other things so this was the only place I could pour my heart out. At first I thought I was being jealous but after realising that he is doing this things to hurt me I called him for a talk and I said to him don't you think what you doing is wrong? Making your cousin and I rivals? The reply he gave me was "well I thought I was doing the right thing" If you ask me his cousin was my closest friend I share some of my secret with and that same person has abandoned me to please his cousin because she has feelings for him, I was gutted sometimes the guy will kiss her and tell her sweet talks in my presence. I felt they were mocking me and the only solution was to commit sucide since the two people dear to my heart can do this awful things to me then the world would not be a better place for me either, being abandon, betrayed, heart broken no happiness etc. Your advice are really helping.

WHOA! Are in the US, another County? You are/were considering suicide because your best female friend and best male friend are somehow involved?

You are taking this way over the top - this isn't a love, a husband, a boyfriend. This a roommate involved with another roommate, a man who is involved with his cousin.

If you are even thinking about killing yourself then you need to seek professional counselling in person to address the various problems in your life.

cici12 · Jul 20, 2012, 05:05 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

WHOA! Are in the US, another County? You are/were considering suicide because your best female friend and best male friend are somehow involved?

You are taking this way over the top - this isn't a love, a husband, a boyfriend. This a roommate involved with another roommate, a man who is involved with his cousin.

If you are even thinking about killing yourself then you need to seek professional counselling in person to address the various problems in your life.

I was but that was when this whole thing started because I was shocked to think such will ever happen to me but such is life huh then after considerate thought I figured I was just confused. Nothing will ever make me commit suicide and one thing I have learned is "if you can't find happiness where you are then find a way to change things and if nothing works then maybe that's not the place you should be" I am trying to move on now.

chiradeep · Jul 20, 2012, 06:09 AM

Originally Posted by cici12

Thanks for advice I was confused and had no one to talk to,... Your advice are really helping.

I am happy I could help you...

Our emotions are very precious. They are like pearls. We can not throw pearls here and there. Can we? NO, right? So why should then we throw or share our emotions with somebody who is not worthy to be shared with. In future don't do that as you had shared your secrets with that girl.

Next time when you feel for a guy don't give a name to the friendship but wait till the right time when you are sure that he is the guy for you, then only you can allow him as your boy friend. Now give rest to your heart and mind and concentrate on your most priority work, that's study.

God bless you...

cici12 · Jul 20, 2012, 06:15 AM

Originally Posted by chiradeep

I am happy I could help you...

Our emotions are very precious. They are like pearls. We can not throw pearls here and there. Can we? NO, right? So why should then we throw or share our emotions with somebody who is not worthy to be shared with. In future don't do that as you had shared your secrets with that girl.

Next time when you feel for a guy don't give a name to the friendship but wait till the right time when you are sure that he is the guy for you, then only you can allow him as your boy friend. Now give rest to your heart and mind and concentrate on your most priority work, that's study.

God bless you...

Thanks :)