[jellybelly6]

So the valedictorian of my school asked me to prom. He and I are friendly... I might be the only girl that is really good friends with him. We are co-editors-in-chief for our newspaper and we're involved in a lot of activities outside of school together. The problem is... he doesn't have many friends and doesn't socialize, he's kind of awkward, and people get the wrong impression from him all the time. Not to sound cocky in any way, I am actually friends with every kid in my grade both popular and unpopular. I make time for everyone and I genuinely love most people. I'm a very nice person and have trouble saying no. today, on valentines day no less, at our newspaper press week, he asked me to prom and it was cute, but I felt bad saying no and it was kind of in front of everyone. I said yes of course not realizing what I had said and now I'm regretting it. I still would never want to say no and I feel like it's too late now anyway. He won't socialize with my friends and I just feel like I'm in a very uncomfortable situation. The group I'm most likely going with is full of the popular kids in my grade. I know I shouldn't care what they think but I would have rather gone with one of my best guy friends. I also feel weird dancing with him too. What should I do? I don't want to be mean... is it too late and if not what should I say to make this all better?

[adviceishere]

Over here in ireland we call it a Debs :) and we do the usual stuff as you on the way to the prom, we have a date, nice dress and nice car, get a few photos taken and the head to the venue, once there though we just hang with our own friends, dance with who ever we like, unless we've brought a boyfriend or someone from a different school you hang with them so as not to leave them on their own, so you shouldn't worry too much about "baby sitting" this guy, he's from your school, he's capable of talking to other people and its YOUR prom too and you should enjoy it, go with him, get the photos taken, then you've done your bit and hang out with who ever you like when you there, dance with who ever you like, he's not your boyfriend, just a friend and you have other friends too. So have fun! If he's too sensitive that's not your fault, you're a nice person and you should not feel bad if you just happen to enjoy your prom! :)

[jellybelly6]

Thank you so much. I feel like I'm doing the right thing if I just suck it up and take him. I really hope my friends don't make him uncomfortable or anything. He is nice to me and I understand that is all that matters but just pictures and the limo and dancing will be extremely awkward. I guess I'm just disappointed because it's my prom and I would have rather taken someone I'm very close with. The group of people I most likely am going with are unfortunately judgmental... how should I go about telling them who I am going with and asking to be apart of their limo group? Thank you for responding so quickly. I just was in a really bad situation but I guess I am doing the right thing by going with him and I think either way if I told him no now or stay with him I'll be upset but it's the last thing of the year and I should make someone else happy..

[adviceishere]

Hey listen you don't have to go with this guy if you don't want to, it wouldn't be nice to say yes and then no but you didn't do this out of spite you just got put on the spot, you should go with someone you really want to go with this doesn't make you a bad person or wrong! Its just letting him down gentally that's going to be a problem. There's no question that he will be a little hurt and disappointed but this is going to have to be your decision, the only reason I'm saying go with him and then hang out with your own friends while there, is because I thought maybe it would make it easier for you, but if you think that your whole night will be bad altogether then just do what makes you happy, your not responsible for other peoples happiness but just be gentle and honest with him as best you can.

[jellybelly6]

I know. I would feel like a terrible person if I said no then. He clearly probably likes me and I feel like I would make him really upset. I would have said I'll think about it or something at the time, but I honestly was very tired, put on the spot, and did not even have the time to answer. I know I should go with someone I know I will have a good time with... after all, it is my prom too. I just work one-on-one with him and see him all the time and I genuinely feel like I'd tear this kid apart. He never goes out of his comfort zone... he didn't even go to any of our dances in the past... I guess I'm flattered but then I keep going back to how this whole situation will come out. I just don't know if I can now take anything back and even if I did... I'll probably never forgive myself. Nobody should have to make this decision... any advice of how I should tell my friends or not make anything uncomfortable. After prom my friends and I will most likely go to the beach or the mountains... I know I don't have to invite him because people don't do that all the time, but like I guess that's the best part of prom anyway. Thanks for your advice... I understand what you're saying and I guess I'll just have to make the best of this and just ignore how anyone reacts or how it will be in the spring...

[adviceishere]

I guess just be honest with your friends, surely they wouldn't disown you for going with him and if they did they would be pretty bad friends! Yes you could look forward to the beach or mountains part and no I wouldn't invite him to that because as you said its not that type of thing and I'm sure he would be happy enough just going to the prom with you, just tell your friends that your going to the prom with him and your feeling a bit awkward about it, try say it without making fun of him, just ask them to try be nice to him and not make it anymore awkward for you, that way they're doing you a favour, not him. Don't worry so much you'll never know what way this will turn out, he might even make the most of being at his first dance too and mix in and your doing him a really honourable thing by going with him, which shows just how nice of a person you are...

[cdad]

I know. I would feel like a terrible person if I said no then. He clearly probably likes me and I feel like I would make him really upset. I would have said I'll think about it or something at the time, but I honestly was very tired, put on the spot, and did not even have the time to answer. I know I should go with someone I know I will have a good time with...after all, it is my prom too. I just work one-on-one with him and see him all the time and I genuinely feel like I'd tear this kid apart. He never goes out of his comfort zone...he didn't even go to any of our dances in the past...I guess I'm flattered but then I keep going back to how this whole situation will come out. I just don't know if I can now take anything back and even if I did...I'll probably never forgive myself. Nobody should have to make this decision...any advice of how I should tell my friends or not make anything uncomfortable. After prom my friends and I will most likely go to the beach or the mountains...I know I don't have to invite him because people don't do that all the time, but like I guess that's the best part of prom anyway. Thanks for your advice...I understand what you're saying and I guess I'll just have to make the best of this and just ignore how anyone reacts or how it will be in the spring...

Don't worry so much about what other people will think. When your done with High School most of them are going to disappear from your life. You always will have to answer for yourself. So be yourself. And if in accepting this guys offer to the dance is you then do it. You never know where it will lead and to keep guessing at it will cause a lot of anxiety over nothing. Your learning one of lifes lessons. Take a hint. Never sweat the small stuff.

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, high school first is not "real life" after high school going into 10 years then 20, you will normally seldom see most of the high school people, And you will find that after 10 years people remember things different.

I would say go with this boy that you said yes to, first because you said yes, and let life go on.