[RadioActive697]

Ok so there's this boy I like and he's white. And I'm african american but I'm light. But he told me that the only reason he doesn't like me is because I'm black and that the bible says you should date your own race. Now I told him to show me the verse or tell me the verse where it says that and he said he don't know. Why would you believe something that can't be proved? But then I really like him and I want him to understand that you can date outside your race. How can I get him to understand? I'm pretty upset.

[friend4u178]

You know what "Radioactive" , if he's that fickle he doesn't deserve your company anyway.

Because your right , it doesn't matter.

[Wondergirl]

the bible says you should date your own race.

No, the Bible doesn't say that. From gotquestions.com --

The Old Testament Law commanded the Israelites not to engage in interracial marriage (Deuteronomy 7:3-4). However, the reason for this was not primarily racial in nature. Rather, it was religious. The reason God commanded against interracial marriage was that people of other races were idolaters and worshippers of false gods. The Israelites would be led astray from God if they intermarried with idol worshippers, pagans, or heathens.

If someone takes the verse out of context, he can claim it means what your friend says it does. But he would be incorrect.

[Homegirl 50]

The bible doesn't say that but maybe he is using it as an excuse. Maybe he is not into black girls and that is his right to feel that way.
I'm wondering why you are bent on dating someone who has no interest in you and feels that way about your race.
You may never get him to understand. He does not want to date you.
Leave him alone.

[I wish]

I don't think it's just about race. It sounds like he's just not interested in you even if you were the same race.

Why not find someone else who's actually interested in you? Regardless of race.

[excon]

Why would you believe something that can't be proved? How can I get him to understand? I'm pretty upset.

Hello R:

You believe it because your parents believe it. To some, that's all that counts... You'll NEVER get racists to understand that racism hurts. NEVER!

But, don't let it upset you, or you'll be upset from now on.

excon

[Fr_Chuck]

Some people because of their social or geographic location are taught to dislike other races. He must have gotten this from his parents or his church ( there are hate filled white and black churches) I visited one black church that taught all white people were servants of satan.

If he truly believes it is wrong, he has been brain washed to believe something that is not true.

But unless he is willing to listen to the truth, he will not change.

1. the bible does not say it is wrong,
2. in fact there is evidence in the bible, where some leaders were married to those of other races.

The bible does warn about marriage outside of your own faith, as a christian being with a non christian. But that is the only real warning you have on it.

[Alty]

Radioactive, walk away from this boy and find someone that loves you for who you are, it's not him.

Sadly there are people like him in the world. I've come across too many in my life and most times it's just because of what they were taught by their parents.

My mother-in-law was extremely racist. For some reason it skipped a generation because my husband doesn't have a racist bone in his body. My parents didn't care who I dated, as long as he was a good person and treated me right. Sadly too many people are raised in an environment of little or no tolerance of anyone outside their race, religion, or social status.

Don't let it get you down. There are other fish in the sea. :)

[RadioActive697]

It's so hard to just give him up like that. I wish he could understand. He's in my homeroom class and he's in 4 classes with me. And when I see him its just going to want to make me cry. He talks to me and stuff. And how could I ignore that? I really wish he could feel the great pain I feel so bad. You say its more fish out in the sea but it surely doesn't feel like it. Its hard when you like someone but they don't like you. I smile like it doesn't matter but in the inside it really hurts. Honestly.

[Homegirl 50]

To feel that intensely about someone you don't really know is something you might want to get a handle on.
Your liking someone does not require they like you.
If you see someone is not showing the same interest in you, you need to get yourself under control, accept it and move on. This sounds like a big crush and one on someone who is off-limits. (that tends to exaggerate the feelings)
It is not healthy, it's one sided and a formula for pain.

[RadioActive697]

To feel that intensely about someone you don't really know is something you might want to get a handle on.
Your liking someone does not require they like you.
If you see someone is not showing the same interest in you, you need to get yourself under control, accept it and move on. This sounds like a big crush and one on someone who is off-limits. (that tends to exaggerate the feelings)
It is not healthy, it's one sided and a formula for pain.

Yea I guess...

[Homegirl 50]

Move on young lady. This kid is not worth the heartache and you are allowing yourself to get wrapped up into something that is just not that serious.
This young man will hopefully one day not look at color and let that be the criteria for liking or not liking someone one.
In the meantime there are other boys out there.
As black female let me just say your complexion should not matter or be the contingency for a white boy or another black one liking you. They either accept and embrace your blackness or they don't and that stands for you as well.
Your complexion does not define you anymore than your race does.

[cdad]

Im about to say something that sounds out there. So if your easily offended skip this one.


Im not a fan of mixed marriages if it involves children. It takes really special people to go through that with their kids. It seems more a rarity then a rule. That doesn't mean that there should be no relationships that are mixed. Im just saying ones that involve children is all. Im basing this on lifes experiences that I have been through and the battles fought for because of the unjustness of the world as it is. But hey your not going to marry the guy. At least lets hope you wait if you do date anyone until your both mature enough to make a decision to last a lifetime. As far as the boy goes. Making blanket statements without the knowlage or experience to back it up is just plain stupid. It robs you of the richness that life can provide.

[Homegirl 50]

Nowadays there are many mixed marriages with children and they do fine. Yes parents have to work a little harder with certain things but that's what you do as a parent.
I think she just likes the boy, I think they are probably young teens.
The problem as I see it, is her not wanting to accept the fact that this boy does not like her because she is black and a light skinned black and that is the problem and it's hers, but she will get over it.

[RadioActive697]

You make it seem like its so easy but to me its hard to get over something like this so easy just like that. (no offense) And I'm not mostly sad. I'm mostly mad on how ignorant some people are. But that is what he was tought. I don't care anymore about him or the situation cause I know that I will find someone that loves me for me. Even if it takes time.

[Homegirl 50]

I never said it was easy. I said fixating on it was asking for trouble.
I can fully relate to your anger. When I went to HS in the 60s the school I went to had just been integrated two years before, so I dealt with those attitudes every day.
You cannot get anyone to understand unless and until they see there is a problem.
You got over it quickly, that's good!

[RadioActive697]

Yeah I'm just going to ignore him and not bother with him. And not think about him anymore. I'll find someone better in the future. :)

[Fr_Chuck]

And looks are all individual things. Some men may like women with good legs, or face, or perfer light or dark, it does not mean they hate other looks, Personally I really prefer very dark ladies, that is just me. So remember all man ( or women) don't have the same tastes.

[Jeha]

I know how u feeling and no it does not say that in the bible, I'm also african american, the kid is just probably not into you, your best bet would be to find someone else

[RadioActive697]

and looks are all individual things. Some men may like women with good legs, or face, or perfer light or dark, it does not mean they hate other looks, Personally I really prefer very dark ladies, that is just me. So remember all man ( or women) don't have the same tastes.

I know that.