I want something to be wrong with me. I like being damaged. I want to have a mental illness or for something bad to happen to me. Its exciting to me. I feel that I have problems now but I want more. I want to feel more pain and cry more. Not physical pain but emotional. I want to feel like the worst person on earth. I want self destruction. What's wrong with me?? I think I might just want attention but I always push people away.