I am so confused everyone around me says I'm too young. I don't think so I love this boy but I really want to know is it possible to be in love when you are 13?
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I am so confused everyone around me says I'm too young. I don't think so I love this boy but I really want to know is it possible to be in love when you are 13?
Sure. I did, and that was back in the day when we all had dinosaurs as pets. Anyone can fall in love and feel love and be in love. But would you throw yourself in front of a moving bus to save the one you love? Maybe so, maybe not. Love changes and grows and matures and even dies.
The ancient Greeks talked about three kinds of love--eros (physical love, where the word "erotic" comes from), philos (friendship or brotherly love or love for relatives, where the words "Philadelphia" and "philanthropy" come from), and agape (unconditional love that only gives, never takes).
At 13, you may experience eros or even philos, but probably not agape until you've loved various types of people and gotten some life experience under your belt and matured a lot. But just because someone is older doesn't mean he/she is able to give love unconditionally or even know how to love honestly and faithfully, and yet someone who is 13 might just have that capacity.
(And actually, God is the only One capable of agape, but we humans like to try it out too, to love others without expecting anything in return yet not being a doormat meanwhile--but that's hard to do.)
Enjoy being in love. It's the best feeling in the world!
You can fall in love in any time of age because it's part of our body and feelings we born with it just becarfull you are too young to fall in love with someone , love sometimes it's trun you in bad way don't let yourself control you under stand you can't handle it right now love it's too strong emotion for you don't let it control you forget it and keep moving your life entertainment yourself
tomboy21
Sure you can fall in love! Wondergirl's post is most wonderful.
I was in love with a boy when I was 12 or 13, I don't remember, but still to this day I love him. He was the first boy I loved, I will always love him in a rather special way.
Are you too young to love? Well, only you can determine that. You probably won't be able to determine it in any realistic sense of the word, not for a few years yet, and then looking back on the situation, you should be able to determine if you were too young.
I'm now 30, and looking back, I don't feel I was too young to love. If you are old enough to feel heartbroken over someone, then you are old enough to love.
People who are telling you that you are too young, are most likely wishing that you wouldn't be in love, so as to save your feelings, because believe me... love hurts. Just remember, just because love hurts, the hurt heals, and you learn and grow because of and in spite of that hurt.
Be careful not to get so caught up in your feelings for this boy that you neglect others around you. Enjoy life, be safe, and learn lots.
:)
Hi, tomboy21!
I like the answers above, and will agree that you can fall in love with someone at the age of 13. However, to have a mature kind of love, one that is based upon experience with life and totally realizing the needs and wants of another individual, and loving them for all they are, good and bad, is something that can take a number of years beyond the age of 13 to develop in order to have that kind of capacity.
At your age, it's a time to learn, grow and practice for the kinds of things that you'll encounter, emotionally and intellectually, to name a couple of things, a number of years later.
Relationships at your age can change in a flash because of all the changes, physically, intellectually and emotionally, etc. that you and others are and will be going through for a number of years before you become mature adults.
Being a teen is a confusing time because you're trying to carve out your niche in life as to what you might want to be for yourself as a person someday so that you can realize your own worth as an individual. It's easy to get distracted from that purpose because your body and mind are also telling you that you need to be getting together with someone who might also be a life partner. Getting attached too soon to someone can hamper doing the things that you really need to be doing for yourself to realize your potential as an individual.
There are some great thoughts in the posts here.
I agree that you can feel like you're in love with someone when you're 13.
My high school sweetheart and I met when we were only 13, and we wound up staying together from when we were 14 until we graduated. You'll probably get a lot of people telling you it's "puppy love," but that's not a bad thing. No matter what you're feeling, just remember to make choices that are based on your age. I know it's not terribly easy, but you just have to assume that there are things no one can know enough about until they're older.
I used to try imagining myself as a grown up looking back on the choices I made, and making sure that the things I did then would be choices I could be proud of in the future. I think it was a good way to look at things.
I hope this boy is a good one!
I believe it is possible. I fell in love then too. And he is my friend to this day. Love is a magical feeling, but if that is what you are feeling, don't ever let it go. Say it when your guy says it to you more than once. You will know he is serious and you can come to terms with yourself and realize how much you love him.
yh my aunite and uncle didat 12 been together since now there both 35 and married =)
I do believe that it was called puppy love. Your first love it was described. Nothings impossible, and if it was... There would be less children in the world. For to have children you should have to be able to love, unless it wasn't intended.
No worries, they say too young when really they should say, well, make sure he doesn't steal your heart. You're always you and never let anyone change that.
-Absolute
Yes, I think you can. As a teenager, 'love' can feel as real as the person you care about. As far as I know, love knows no age, and people shouldn't think just because to haven't dated the whole world means that you don't know what love is. I know a lady who fell in love with her now husband at age 14, so love, and possibly loose, and love again, no matter the age.
I'd say there's a 1% chance it might be love and a 99% chance it's due to hormones, which by the way, is normal.
Possible.. but could u give us your definition of love? What do you feel for this person? From there, anyone can tell if it is real love or not...
I think you can love someone at any age.
But at the same time if it was love you wouldn't question it no matter who told you it wasn't..
Yes of course u can! U can fall in love at anytime, any age. Love is a feeling, it has no idea who it's taking over. Don't listen 2 anyone when they tell u when u can "be in love" and who u can b in love w/ they're UR feelings not their's.
Was told to spread it my dear... but Wow - you guys are awesome in giving your heartfelt advice here.Quote:
Originally Posted by Clough
Tomboy... the reason some tell you that it's not really love is because they are trying to prevent you from getting your feelings hurt so soon in your life. But this is your choice to make - it can go well, but it can also go wrong and it will depend on how you cope. Actually, I'm tickled pink when someone your age says they are in love because then I know that puberty has set in and your emotions will be controlled in part by hormones, but this is something that we all go though in our lives - it's natural.
The only thing that I would say as a mother and grandmother is that you should take things slow, don't let yourself get pressured into doing anything you are not ready for (for instance sex). And if you do, then please, please make sure that his feelings are just as strong for you and that he shows you the respect you deserve and not try to control you. AND, make sure that you have all the education you need to use safe measures when starting to experiment with intimacy together. Respect each other, talk about things - don't hold your thoughts and fears back - talk to him about them, because loving also means sharing inner-most thoughts and feelings with your partner.
I also know that now is not the time that either of you want to think about the future responsibilities if something goes wrong, but you need to talk about these too - such as in case you become parents - what future do you plan then... and continuing your education and following through with other dreams you have and try to reach them. Don't give up your dreams and don't pressure him into changing either because the love you feel now is the love you have for the person you met, not the person you plan on changing... so you both should continue to be the people you are and keep the plans you want to pursue.
So, enjoy this new feeling of butterflies and yearnings and the happiness you feel when together. Have fun doing things you two like doing and learn new things on the way - just promise to be careful too. Welcome to a brand new chapter in your life!
Good luck, and keep us posted.
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yea I'm almost 13 and I've been in love scence I was 11 but most people say you need lots of experince to fall in love BUT I Don't THINK THAT ^^)
Hey remember its not all fun guys.. you do need a level of maturity to comprehend and evaluate what a real relationship is, I believe you guys believe you are in love but if I am to be completely honest I don't think you possess the mental and emotional abilities to really know what love is... hell, I'm more than a decade older than you and I'm not sure I do!
I do hope that you know the difference between love and lust! And, to be honest, at 11 - I am sure it was lust. There is nothing wrong with that, we all experience and enjoy that too, but you have to also remember to keep other things in life in balance like a good education, plans for the future, and a level head on your shoulder. It's OK to care a lot for a person, but never place your whole world in his/her hands - you (both) need to be able to grow and mature at a normal pace and not place another person first in your life - never works out good and you'll only get hurt. It is most important that you don't give up education and plans of your own - AND also share a lot more than just the physical part of the relationship because that's not the only important part of life when looking for a partner.Quote:
Originally Posted by kayla_pink
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I think its love in my opinion but that's just moi
Feeling love, having those urges, that driving sense of connection to someone in a way you can't explain and have no control over? Yeah, that can happen at 13.
But that's not what love is, that's just what it feels like. In practice (and boy it takes YEARS of practice), in practice love is something you DO, not something you just feel.
So, instead of just pondering the depth of these uncontrollable feelings and urges, instead ponder what you're willing to do for this person to make their life better.
Young love so often leads to a sense of grabbing on and holding on, when real love is about lifting and holding out. You experience love by how well you make the other person's life BETTER.
This takes a long time to get right. And you'll get there.
In the meantime, enjoy the feelings you have, don't fret about them. Enjoy the company of those you're attracted to. But also, don't let those feelings trick you into doing selfish things that actually mess each other's lives up instead of improving them.
Real love knows how to restrain itself. Otherwise, it's just lust. You'll have to decide what it going to be.
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