Hi I'm 17 and I dated this guy for 2 years and now I think I'm pregnant by him. We haven't spoken in 3 months and I have a restraining order against him because he used to beat me and the last time we spoke he said if I was pregnant than he would hurt the baby and now I'm afraid to tell him and I wanted to know what some other people my age thought about it. He made it clear before I thought I was pregnant that if I ever was he wanted nothing to do with either one of us. Should I tell him or just go it alone?? I do have a new boyfriend who has an 11 month old and supports me and loves me either way. What do you guys think I should do?:confused:

I would not tell him, and look for another guy that's nice enough to love you for who you are and the baby.

If that makes sense.

First find out if you are or are not pregnant, before you stress out over this loser. If you are... I think you know what the answer is already.

I agree with Stormy by finding out if you are pregnant or not first before making any drastic decissions.
However, why do u think he is the father of your un-born child (if you are pregnant) as you said u haven't spoken to him in 3 months? :confused:

That's true Krs.

If I were in your shoes, I would protect my child by not telling the father. Sounds like this new man you are with would be a better father anyway.

If I were in your shoes I would protect my child and myself. If he's abusive in any way he'd be a horrible father in my books. My father was abusive to my mother and as we got older he did the same to me and my sisters. If your new boyfriend is willing to help you take care of your child he may be the better man. No world is worth living in if its filled with pain. Safest bet. Find out if your pregnant. And if you are don't tell him...

You need to protect yourself and your unborn baby by staying away from all abusive relationships. Pregnany usually increases violence in cases like this. Do you have a support system for when the baby is born? Don't be afraid to ask for help from friends and relatives.

If you are pregnant, don't tell him. If he used to beat you up, he may start again if you tell him, and harm your un-born child.

Just stay with your new boyfriend. And ask him what his opinion on this is? If he truly loves you he will help and support you in every way he can. :)

Well unless this seriously goes against your religion. I think you should have an abortion. It was unprotected and unperdited and if he is threning the baby than why go through with it. And plus you have your whole life ahead of you like college why throw that all away to stay at home and care for a infant at only 17

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Originally Posted by TooCool12

Well unless this seriously goes against your religion. I think you should have an abortion. It was unprotected and unperdited and if he is threning the baby than why go through with it. And plus you have your whole life ahead of you like college why throw that all away to stay at home and care for a infant at only 17

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I so disagree, why should her inocent unborn child suffer the consequences of un protected sex!

I think abortion is the WORST thing in the world, it should be illegal, unborn babies should be protected just like kids who are living. First of all I would NEVER have an abortion and kill my baby when he did nothing at all and that would just be giving my ex exactly what he wants. He wants to control me and he knows I love kids and I want this baby and I found out that I definitely am pregnant and of course I'm keeping it. Abortion is homicide. Would you kill a baby that is already born? Sorry if I sound rude I am just really stressed out I start my senior year in a week and the whole world will know and now I'm really going to be in trouble because he's going to find out.

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Originally Posted by Luv_My_Reece

he used to beat me and the last time we spoke he said if I was pregnant than he would hurt the baby and now I'm afraid to tell him and He made it clear before I thought I was pregnant that if I ever was he wanted nothing to do with either one of us.

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This person is obviously not a family man. If he used to beat you, that's a big hint that he is not a good life partner. Second, if he doesn't want any part of you or the baby if you have one, what says he wants any part of you anyway. Third, if he said he would hurt you and the baby, then that means... he would hurt you without considering your health, ultimately jeopardizing you, and possible, your baby... Duh. The point is, this person could be a potential killer, and most importantly, has the risk of badly injuring you and you offspring. Excuse my language, but this guy is a complete jackass and a bastard.:eek:

I would suggest have no part of him for the rest of your life.

Hey your whole sich kind of sucks hey? Well if I were in your position I think as hard as it'd be I wouldn't tell him... he doesn't sound like someone you really want in your baby's life... unlike your new boyfriend... I think that if you do ever want to tell him tell him over the phone or somethingor tell him with your new boyfriend by your side in case things get out of hand... just don't do it alone! Well I really hope I helped even a little... good luck with the baby and the future

Thanks everybody. I am pregnant, it's a boy, I have lots of family and friends who are more than willing to help me plus my boyfriend. I'm definitely keeping him his father will not be told about him and I have a restraining order so he can not come near either one of us. I think I'm going to name him Rowan. Thanks for all you advise.

If I were in your situation,I would forget the babies father-he may be the biological dad,but if the guy your with now loves and supports you,surely your better off with what you've got?the babies father doesn't even deserve to be a dad and have the pleasure of having a family.so just forget him and get on with your life.. you deserve better

Too Cool
Having an abortion is such a personal decision. Age aside this unborn child and young lady can have a very healthy relationship and I do not see her throwing her life away by keeping the baby. However, either way it is her decision.

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Originally Posted by Luv_My_Reece

Hi I'm 17 and I dated this guy for 2 years and now I think I'm pregnant by him. We haven't spoken in 3 months and I have a restraining order against him because he used to beat me and the last time we spoke he said if I was pregnant than he would hurt the baby and now I'm afraid to tell him and I wanted to know what some other people my age thought about it. He made it clear before I thought I was pregnant that if I ever was he wanted nothing to do with either one of us. Should I tell him or just go it alone??? I do have a new boyfriend who has an 11 month old and supports me and loves me either way. What do you guys think I should do?:confused:

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You should not tell him. If you did so you would put yourself and your child in danger. You should stay away from him. If he does harm you you should call the police and have the problem solved!
Good Luck!

You have had a rough 6 months and I think you should avail yourself to the counseling of an older female, that you trust. I think you really should get professional help.

Aww babe, chin up. First off... dont tell him, your only asking for trouble. Second, make sure you really are pregnant. If you are make sure your new boyfriend is OK with it, and are you sure its not his? Decide if you want to tell your parents, and decide, if this guy was really a jerk what your feelings on abortion are. Like I said, figure out what the situaion is, and figure out what you want to do, but DO not tell the guy... its not with it.

Shame, keep away from him that's what I would do, not being nasty but he doesn't seem bovered I would just stick to yourself or even better it seems you have a new boyfriend who cares about you go ahead!