My school has been trying to contact my parentz for a few weeks now. My parents work during the day and I get home before them so I deleted the voice mails left on home phone. I've also forged their signature on a few notes. I'm in big trouble now the school rang my dads work and he left me a really scarey voice mail. I don't know what to do. I haven't been home since Friday, my dad texted me and said ic I don't come home he will call police and if I don't bring back the camping gear he will say I stole it. Can he do that the tent I took was mine. I have school today but I'm afraid to go in case he is there can he make me leave school? I think I should avoid going for a while.

Why has your school been trying to contact your parents?

You need to face the music before it gets any worse.
Go either home or school first, depending on time of day where you are.
Tell them the truth about everything. Get it over with. Confess to the forgeries - everything! You are basically caught. The more you admit to now, the better the results.

Here's the deal: first of all your parents are WORRIED about your LIFE. Teens are abducted every day, often for the sex trade. You get put in chains and are sold over and over and are never seen again.
Second of all, they are legally liable for you. They can be charged with child neglect. You can end up in much worse places than your home situation.
Don't worry about the tent for the moment, or who bought it, or who gave it to you, or what. He's just very upset and the tent is something he can latch onto.
Not sure what you mean about him making you leave school? Doesn't he want you IN school?

My grades have dropped I've been in some trouble lately.

I just meant if I go to school can he come and make me go home with him. I don't think he's worried he sounds very angry

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Originally Posted by Fifi9999

My grades have dropped I've been in some trouble lately.

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Some trouble? Like what?

Do what Joy said -- go home or go to school and turn yourself in. Be humble and contrite. Go to counseling. Listen to the adults. They care about you and want your life to improve.

My dad scares me when he's mad and he's got to be really pissed right now. Its safer to stay away trust me. I just don't want him to find me. If i could talk to my mum she would understand but everytime i ring he answers.

This isn't about trust and trust is only for people who both know each other really well.
TELL HIM on the phone that you are afraid of him.

Sorry was just an expression.I don't want to tell him anything there is no point I thought maybe I could just stay away from him. I

So you plan to stay away and live in a tent until you get a job and can afford an apartment? Is that the plan? Because if not, you'll have to go home sooner or later, and as a mom I can tell you one thing, my anger doesn't go away until the situation is resolved, and the longer it takes the child to resolve it and face it, the angrier I get.

You're being very irresponsible. You did the crime, now face the consequences. So your dad's mad, he has the right to be. Time to learn that actions have consequences.

I don't know what I plan on doing. I am worried what my dad will do to me its to hard to explain what he's like when he's mad. If I was just going to be yelled at or grounded it wouldn't be so bad but he's not that nice

Is there a teacher or student counsellor at school that you trust? Perhaps tell them what's going on, tell them you're afraid to go home because of your dads anger and what he might do, and ask if they will agree to go with you to talk to your dad.

Bottom line kiddo, you can't stay in a tent until you're old enough to leave home. How do you plan to feed yourself? If you're somewhere that gets snow, well winter is coming. A tent is not a long term plan.

If a teacher or student counselor isn't an option, how about a relative, or Child Protective Services?

You need a long term plan, and the best long term plan is finding a way to go home. I know that the longer you stay away, the more mad your dad will be.

Any reason why your grades are failing and why you're getting into trouble at school? What's going on in your life that is causing these issues?

Go home and accept your fate. You should have been truthful all along, now it has just gotten worst.

Just go home, or yes, they will drag you home with a police record that can ruin your life for years and years to come

Do you have a relative who you can stay with? You definitely need to go to school or you will be considered truant. I’m sure your parents are worried about you. If your safety is an issue at home, please tell an adult at school. Teachers, counselors, and nurses are there to help you. Please go to school.

I was going to school but I'm worried my dad will be able to come and get me. I didn't really do anything wrong besides writing my parents signature and wiping messages. My grades have dropped and I've been in trouble for not completing my home work. I have been trying but things are complicated and my dad doesn't like people snooping around so I tried to get them to leave me alone by writing note and putting his signature. They know I did it and rang his work. My friend texted me saying my parents have been asking everyone if they know where I am and been to the school to.

Where are you staying right now? Surely you're not in the tent that you mention, as most campgrounds are closed, they're not free, and there would really be no way for you to be posting here. Are you staying with a friend right now? If so, do the friends parents know that at this point you're considered a runaway and they could be charged?

No I'm at the beach we live in a costal town in australia its nearly summer here so not cold. My tent is hidden in the sand dunes near surf club so there are showers and a bbq that I have been cooking on and a power point so I can charge my phone and battery pack. I have money in my bank from working at mcdonalds pretty sure I'm going to lose my job I haven't been in for a few shifts but I don't care right now so I have money to last me a while no one come in the dunes and my tent is hidden anyway.I know I will have to go home at some point but I'm trying to avoid that at the moment. I haven't told anyone where I am I know my dad will find out if I tell anyone even my boyfriend he's good at finding stuff out. I would rather have cold showers and sleep in a tent then face him

What troubles at school would push you to live like this? Going home won't get any easier the more time that goes by.

Kiddo, you have to think long term. You know that staying in the tent is only a short term solution. Soon you'll run out of money for food, soon someone will see your hidden tent and call the cops, and yes, I'm pretty sure you can bet that you lost your job if you haven't shown up or even called for your last few shifts.

You're making a bad situation worse the longer you put off facing your dad. I realize you're scared, but there are things you can do, people you can call to help you deal with going home and help you talk to your dad. The sooner you do this the better. The solution you have right now is extremely short term, and as I said before, the longer you wait the worse the consequences.

Frankly, if one of my kids pulled this they'd be facing a very angry mom and dad. I'm not violent, and I don't know if your dad is, but they'd be yelled at louder and longer than they ever have been before. Frankly, I'd already have the police looking for them, and if they police wanted to mete out a punishment, I'd be all for it. Running away from home, not being responsible at your job, screwing around in school, kiddo, you screwed up! That doesn't mean that you can't fix it, but first you have to face it, and hiding out is not facing it. It's not going away no matter how long you stay hidden.

Cripes... you really deserve whatever you get. Did you actually think you could get away with this? Apparently you did, HOW is beyond comprehension. But I guess every community needs someone living in a trash dumpster eating other peoples garbage. You could be that person.

You were stupid, you made this choice... show some maturity and take your punishment... you WILL be answering for your actions the rest of your life... and what will happen now.. is NOTHING compared to what will happen to you as an adult...

Incidentally..YOU don't own that tent, he does...you own nothing as a kid..yes he CAN call the police, and if you think you have it bad now...just wait until you see what its like in the juvenile justice system for know-it-all's. When you are 18, you can move out live under a bridge and eat from trash cans if you want (you certainly aren't going to get or hold a job with this attitude).. As a kid..you have no right to make that decision.

Welcome to the real world. Actions have consequences......ALWAYS.

I understand I have made a bad choice choices. I didn't feel like I had any other option. My dad beats my mum pretty bad for the most little things when he's drinking and he drinks all the time. I don't know what he's going to do to me he's so mad. What would you do I'm scared very scared and I cant tell anyone he's my dad I was thinking he might calm down after a while you know. Now I'm not so sure maybe I have made this all worse. I shall just go home tomorrow I cant do it now I feel sick just thinking about going back but I'm worried for my mum too. I hate my life I don't want to deal with this

You ALWAYS have other choices in this world... you want to be careful which ones you make because today's choices can effect tomorrows opportunities... or lack thereof in the case of poor choices. Thats how life works. Stupid stuff today may mean you work at Walmart or fast food rather than a good paying job tomorrow.

By making GOOD decisions...you can limit the damage you do to your own future...

Does your dad beat you as well? Has your mom ever called the cops on your dad? Sadly you mom has choices too, and she can choose to call the cops, leave, or live with the beatings. She's made her choice, but her choice doesn't have to be yours.

For now you have to live with your parents, or if you're living in an abusive situation you call the cops or CPS and report your dad and hope you're placed in a good foster home. But until you're 18 you're stuck living with adults, be it your parents or a foster family. Until then you have to follow their rules and frankly, running away and living in a tent is not going to help your situation at all. Neither is failing school, and doing whatever else you're doing that has the school calling home.

You have one job right now, and that's to go to school, get good grades, and then find a job where you can support yourself so that you can get out of your house and away from your abusive father. No one else can do that for you, only you can, and right now the choices you're making aren't leading to you being able to leave any time soon, so it's time to smarten up and make better choices.

We all have choices, we all have opportunities, but they're not handed to you, you have to work for them. Sitting in a tent hiding away from the world is not going to get you any opportunities, so face your fears, expect your dad to be mad because any parent would be with all the crap you've pulled, and then move on and make better decisisions in the future.

My dad has beat me before and he wasn't even as mad as he is now. My mum never rings the police she just says he don't mean too hurt us. I understand its best to go home except my punishment I do its just not easy to make myself do it. I have text him to say I'm sorry I'm coming home so thanks for talking to me.

Please let us know how it goes and keep us posted on how you're doing. If you ever need to talk that's what we're here for. You may get some tough love but it's only because we do care what happens. I am worried about your dads abuse and would like you to have someone go with you when you go home tomorrow, please look into making that happen so that you'll be safe. You do desereve to be punished but no one deserves to be beaten.

I don't think taking someone home with me would be such a good idea I really don't want anyone to know what goes on at home that's why I was trying so hard to get my teachers to leave it alone I know they are worried but it makes things worse. Writing fake note not my best idea but I tried now your right I shall face the consequences I have finished packing my stuff away and will go home now I cant wait anymore if that's what I have to do I'm going to get it over with. Much thanks for talking to me

"Now I'm not so sure maybe I have made this all worse." Nooooo. You think?

Bad decision after bad decision will always lead to bad consequences. You, and ONLY YOU, have chosen a path that hopefully will lead to you getting in trouble. After getting in trouble maybe then you will see that only you determines what decisions you will make. Good choices lead to good things happening. But honestly when you do make a bad choice, deal with it. Don't keep adding bad decision after bad decision.

If it is all that you say, then go get your mother and drag her to the nearest shelter with you, and both of you report the drunken beatings.
If she won't go, tell her you ran away because your father gets violent against her, and you.
She needs to see that her behavior affects yours.

We can hopefully help you through the steps as they unfold.

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Originally Posted by Fifi9999

I don't think taking someone home with me would be such a good idea I really don't want anyone to know what goes on at home that's why I was trying so hard to get my teachers to leave it alone I know they are worried but it makes things worse. Writing fake note not my best idea but I tried now your right I shall face the consequences I have finished packing my stuff away and will go home now I cant wait anymore if that's what I have to do I'm going to get it over with. Much thanks for talking to me

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I am glad you have decided to go home, but I think NOT letting someone trusted and respected know what's going on with YOU at your home is another very bad decision, and will NOT help things get better at all. It let's things get WORSE.

Silence solves nothing as you have surely seen first hand up until now, and running from it does make it worse. There can be no change for the better until you get HONEST about the problem. Nobody gets the right help unless you are honest about why you did what you did, which is a classic call for help by an overwhelmed helpless teenager.

Start just telling the truth. Please consider my suggestion, because I think you want better for you AND your family, and that can only start with you being HONEST, and telling the TRUTH as you have TRIED to do here. Lying, deceiving, and running away was hard, and telling the truth will be MUCH harder for you I know, but it's the right thing to do to get the right help to make things better.

Good luck, you are not a bad kid, or a brat, just MISGUIDED right now. You must trust someone with the TRUTH.

So many decisions choices to make what's right what's wrong very overwhelming. On here was the first time I've ever mentioned what my dad is like. That was hard but easier no one knows who I am no consequences from that. Out here its different I tell one person and things will be worse. I can just try really hard to change at school and get my grades up and do my homework at lunch or something.

As much as I hate my dad right now I don't want to get him in trouble.

Oh kiddo, I wish I could be there for you in person and just give some support. I understand not wanting to tell anyone, and I understand it's hard, but things won't change at home until you get some help. I won't lie, when you do tell (I said when because I think you're getting to the point of enough is enough) it won't be easy. Things might even be worse for a while, but then they will get better for you, your mom and your dad too. Your dad needs as much help as you and your mom. He has a drinking problem and he's an abuser. He can get help but he won't ask for it himself, someone else has to start the process.

Please keep us posted. I wish we could offer more than just words, but sadly that's what we're limited to. Let us know how you're doing so we know that you're safe. Okay?

I don't want to be taken away from my parents. I know that's what will happen I seen it happen before. I don't want to go to a group home or foster care or whatever it is they take you. I really don't want to find out if my mum will leave or let me be taken away. I won't leave her and if tell I have no choice.

I don't like listening to my dad hurt my mum all the screaming and yelling its hard to sit in my room and do nothing. I try to stop him but he a lot bigger than me and mum says it just makes it worse.

I do have a choice to make and I feel extreamly selfish only thinking about myself. Maybe when I'm able to go to school I will talk to someone.

Do you have grandparents, Aunts or Uncles living nearby? Do they know what's going on? Would you be willing to tell them and see if they'll help, maybe even take you and your mom in and get your dad in rehab and anger management?

Bottom line is your dad needs help getting over his alcohol addiction, and it is very much a disease. If he had cancer you'd want him to get treatment, right? Well it's the same with alcoholism, it's a disease and there is treatment available.

I'm talking about telling someone because I know that in the long run it would be the best for you, your mom and also your dad. Living like this is hell for all three of you.

My dad was beating on my mum pretty bad last night, I couldn't just sit in my room and listen. Anyway I tried to stop him and got a few hits in the face. I thought I had covered it pretty well with makeup but obviously not good enough one of my teachers asked me about the bruises on my face. I told her the ball smacked me in the face playing netball. I thought she believed me but now I've been called to the svhool counsellors office. I'm freaking out I'm just hiding in toilets at the moment. I don't know what to do I really want to just leave but that might make things worse.

Kiddo, your dad is an abusive alcoholic, and sooner or later someone is going to notice and call the proper authorities. You can't hide it forever, and you shouldn't. I'm sorry, but I can't tell you how to hide it, and I won't, because I really think your family needs help and they won't get it until someone stands up and says something.

I'm so sorry you got hurt. I really hope the teacher follows through and you can finally get some help dealing with this.