Need some advice me life is a bit of a mess at the moment. I got suspended from school today for three days me da picked me up and we had a huge argument in the car I ended up just getting out when we stopped at the lights and running away from him. Everything is messed up I don't want to go home me da going to be so angry. I don't know what's wrong with me I try hard to do the right thing but I always mess up. I can't go to me boyfriends cause I broke up with him so I'm just sitting in library and I really don't know what to do

You call your family and ask your Dad to pick you up. He must be worried sick about you. Why were you suspended from school today? We need more information so we can help you.

Well you first mistake was arguing back... thinking you can win an argument with a parent.

Second mistake was owning up to being wrong and running off.

I've seen your other threads... First thing you need to do is #1 listen to him even if you don't like it... #2 If you think you are right... you aren't... your history of really bad decisions shows this. Therefore you really DON'T have a chance to win an argument. #3 Running away from things NEVER works... it ALWAYS makes it worse.

If you can shut up... listen to what you are told to do... do exactly what you are told to do.. and do it when you are told to do... you MIGHT just have a chance when you are an adult. At this rate... consider that your willfulness and inability to make the right decisions... makes it a very high likelihood you are going to either end up dead... in jail, or living on the street eating out of garbage dumpsters... or prostituting yourself to pay for your next fix... until you die from aids or at someone else's hand.

You really have no idea how harsh and unforgiving the world can be... and most parents will arrive at the point they will just throw you out and leave you fend for yourself.

Maybe the reality that if you don't wise up soon... and learn that you are not the alpha dog in your pack... you are going to find out just how bad things can really get... and you haven't seen anything yet.

Actions have consequences... and those often are life threatening. And your action can ruin any chances you have of having a good life in the future.

You've been really lucky so far he has even cared and tried to help you. That luck may not last forever. And no boyfriend is going to be your savior... they will tire of the games far faster than any parent will. And leave you with nothing in an instant.

Call him and apologize like you have never apologized before. And be thankful he even takes you back. And for once..DO what you are told. Before its too late.

I don't know if calling him is a good thing at the moment he was so mad at me I didn't mean to argue with him but it wasn't me fault I got suspended and he wouldn't listen to me. I only got out of the car so he would just stop yelling. Guess I just messed up more. If I ring him to come get me he's just going to yell more am I just suppose to sit there and not try ans at least explain my side.

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Originally Posted by teacherjenn4

You call your family and ask your Dad to pick you up. He must be worried sick about you. Why were you suspended from school today? We need more information so we can help you.

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I was suspended from school for fighting and it wasn't me fault I didn't start it but I wasn't going to stand there and let her beat me. I tried pushing her away telling her to stop and she wouldn't I let her hit me twice before I hit her back. Me da just thinks its all me fault wouldn't even listen

See.. another in a long line of bad decisions you are making..

Sorry, I don't buy the excuse it wasn't your fault you got suspended. I've been through school... and you don't ever get suspended for nothing.

And see.. this is what I was saying YOU are convinced you are right... but if you were right you wouldn't be suspended. I knows a bs story when he hears one.. and you was trying to give him another one.

Sorry... you really don't have a side... YOU screwed up.. and YOU got suspended... he has every right to be angry... YOUR job is to accept that it WAS your fault and show him respect. Arguing isn't going to win any arguments as an adult with ANY superior either... do it at work and you get fired... do it on the street and someone might beat you to death.

You have to learn WHEN to be quiet. And no... even as an adult... you really don't have a right to give your side of the story MOST of the time. It takes maturity and self discipline to do both... something you HAVE to learn before you have a chance on your own as an adult.. and that's not far off. People get killed for just looking at someone wrong....you will meet someone willing to kill you over almost any perceived slight...intend or not...and you won't get to argue your side there either.

One thing I've seen common in all your threads... its never really think anything is your fault... (even though you try to pretend otherwise). You continue to be willful and do exactly what you have been told you should NOT do...

Sorry but I'm being harsh because you don't seem to grasp the seriousness of all of this at your age.

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Originally Posted by Thinkaboutit

I don't know if calling him is a good thing at the moment he was so mad at me I didn't mean to argue with him but it wasn't me fault I got suspended and he wouldn't listen to me. I only got out of the car so he would just stop yelling. Guess I just messed up more. If I ring him to come get me he's just going to yell more am I just suppose to sit there and not try ans at least explain my side.


I was suspended from school for fighting and it wasn't me fault I didn't start it but I wasn't going to stand there and let her beat me. I tried pushing her away telling her to stop and she wouldn't I let her hit me twice before I hit her back. Me da just thinks its all me fault wouldn't even listen

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Really... you think there is a legitimate argument why the rules should apply to everyone else but you... and like everything else... you had no part in the fight... they are NEVER one sided. You were mouthing off to your father.. I guarantee you that you was mouthing off to this other person escalating instead of deescalating the situation... and that makes you equally responsible. YOU chose to fight.. at least show the maturity to own up to it. Decisions have consequences... do that in another year or two and you will be in jail for assault and battery... and have a criminal record. And spend time in jail with some real hard cases that will show you what a lightweight you really are.

The judge isn't going to buy the argument either....that's the price in the adult world for the wrong decision.

Again...I AM being intentionally harsh because you seem to think everything is a joke...and how bad you have it when you don't even have a clue what bad really is yet. You don't have long before you end up in jail for your next screw-up. Nobody cares what your excuse is as an adult....If you did it and they prove you did it...you go to jail. Argue with someone in jail, and you get a shank or sheave in your back when you aren't looking, if you don't get a brutal beat down.


You pushed her....That is enough for an assault charge and jail term as an adult....Not to mention you hit her back...sorry, NOBODY believes you when you claim it wasn't your fault.


You escalated the situation by arguing and pushing and made a fight certain...you are at LEAST equally responsible. YOU made the decision to fight. And that's why YOU got suspended.

Your right I got suspended for hitting her but what was I suppose to do just let het beat on me. So it is me fault I got suspended I guess me da should be angry at me. It still doesn't make it fair though he could at least let me explain he's acting like I started the fight. I hate being yelled at I just can't sit there I have to get away. If I ring him is he just going to yell more I don't want to make things worse but I've already been told off enough today and its not like I even woke up this morning thinking hmm I might have a fight today

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Originally Posted by Thinkaboutit

Your right I got suspended for hitting her but what was I suppose to do just let het beat on me. So it is me fault I got suspended I guess me da should be angry at me. It still doesn't make it fair though he could at least let me explain he's acting like I started the fight. I hate being yelled at I just can't sit there I have to get away. If I ring him is he just going to yell more I don't want to make things worse but I've already been told off enough today and its not like I even woke up this morning thinking hmm I might have a fight today

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You walk away instead of arguing with her... and I guarantee you that you was doing that before anyone pushed anyone or swung at anyone else. That makes you an equal participant. The "but they said something mean to me " stops being a valid excuse for anything about the time you are 10.

If you can't learn to deal with others other than arguing and getting in fights you ARE going to end up in jail....there is no question about it. YOU might even end up dead if they are stronger or meaner or just a better fighter than you are. And I have no doubt there are a LOT of people like that because I've known some and met others. No matter how big or bad you think you are..there is always someone bigger or badder. And some of the baddest ones are going to be smaller than you are....

The issue is, why did you not just walk or run away, instead of standing them, pushing, and then hitting.

If fighting back is the only choice, then you should have witnesses that will tell everyone, that they hit you first. (if they did)

But you do not agure with your parents, you let them yell and you sit there and shut up and not say a word.

I don't care that I got suspended from school today I did the wrong thing I know that hitting another student isn't allowed even if they hit you first. To be honest I'd do it again I ain't going to let someone beat on me and not try to protect me self. So I did the wrong thing arguing with me da I just wanted him to listen to me let me explain. Running away wasn't the right choice, I feel that now. It's hurts me that he won't listen and I seem to have a problem with speaking before thinking and making things worse. Do I speak with me da now or let things cool off? He still going to be super pissed probably morenow

Are you still at the library?

I'd call now. He may yell at you, but you've got to start somewhere. Have you spoken with the school counselor? I think you need to figure out why you're getting into so much trouble. How old are you?

I wasn't arguing with her I just came out of the toilet and they were standing at the sinks, can't run away if there is no where to go, waiting for me. The reason she wanted to hurt me is stupid apparently someone told her I slept with her boyfriend at a party. I tried telling her I haven't been to any parties since I broke up with me boyfriend and I have never even had sex before I don't even know her boyfriend. See people who don't even know me think the worst no wonder me da does

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Originally Posted by teacherjenn4

I'd call now. He may yell at you, but you've got to start somewhere. Have you spoken with the school counselor? I think you need to figure out why you're getting into so much trouble. How old are you?

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I'm 15 yes I've spoken to the school counsellor before. He might not be so mad if I wait a little think I need some time to calm down I don't know it just messed up

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Are you still at the library?

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Yeah I'm still at library got no where else to go don't want police to pick me up if they see me not at school they will think I'm skipping class.

Your dad doesn't know where you are. Would he ask the police to find you?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Your dad doesn't know where you are. Would he ask the police to find you?

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I don't know probably not. If I don't go home he might. Who knows he that pissed at me he probably trying to find me now so he can drag me home.

What might happen at home? Can you say or do something to improve the situation?

It's so stupid and frustrating I just wanted to go to school try and get me grades up do what I have to I didn't ask for any of this I know it's me fault I got suspended and me fault me da is so mad and I messed everything up again I'm just so over it all. To hell with it all!

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

What might happen at home? Can you say or do something to improve the situation?

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I already tried to talk to him and he wouldn't listen said he didn't want to hear it and then we started arguing. I don't want to go home yet.

Don't argue. You have nothing to say. Let him get his upset and anger out. Just listen.

You just don't understand

I know I'm probably wrong cause I always am but let me just try and explain what is in me head. I got suspended for hitting a girl at school fine far enough hitting is wrong. I didn't want it to happen, and I definitely didn't sleep with her boyfriend. I don't think it's right for her to take her insecurities out on me but anyway that's life I suppose. I have a black eye and scratches all over me suspended for three days so its not like I haven't been punished. I worked hard to earn back what little trust me da gave me I gave up being able to play a sport I wanted to to babysit for me da and step mum, did everything they wanted and now it gone and why because of some stupid girl and me protecting me self. Now he's pissed and its not even over he's going to yell more punish me more and I lose everything. If he would just let me explain then I wouldn't care if he would listen. I've already tried ringing him and he just yelled at me told me when you get home your in big trouble young lady. So what's the point if I stay out tonight he might be calm by tomorrow.

At 15 you THINK you are grown up and equal to your parents... when you aren't. (your NEVER equal to your own parents therefore respect is always owed to them) At 15 almost everything you think you know about the world is wrong. That's how teenagers get into trouble... some more than others.

You really don't get to explain... because there is no acceptable excuse. And because in life... most people don't want to hear an explanation... the facts are out there and no amount of talking is going to change what they are.

You do an act.. it carries consequences... end of story, You don't get to BS your way out of it.

I know you want to think you can... fact is insisting on otherwise will only make a bad situation worse.

You have to understand.. there is a time to talk... and a time to be quiet. This is one of those times to be quiet. You screwed up... face it own up to it... trying to talk your way out of it proves you are NOT accepting it. And NOT talking ownership of it.. therefore you are learning nothing from this.

Edit: And by insisting on trying to explain yourself...you are showing disrespect to him and all the other adults involved. That is why they are getting so upset...and more upset the more you insist on trying to talk your way out of it (which IS what you are trying to do because they already know what happened, there is no explaining that will change anything) And the act of insisting on explaining shows you are not accepting full responsibility of your own actions.

And no he isn't going to be calm by tomorrow...in fact you are defying him...defying his authority and making it WORSE for yourself. If anything he is going to be MORE angry with you...and you really do deserve it.

I don't see how trying to explain what happened is being disrespectful to me da. I just don't understand adults. I don't want to try and talk my way out of trouble with me da I know I'm screwed I just want him to know and believe me that I didn't start the fight. Don't suppose he will even care anyway he must still be pretty mad he's rang me like 23 times I'm to scared to answer. It really doesn't matter what I do now I've lost any trust he gave me now. It all

You don't see it because you are not an adult yet. And you do not think as an adult thinks yet.

You know what... he's getting upset... he still cares... for now. Keep it up and you are going to find yourself thrown OUT of the house and being told to fend for yourself.

You really do deserve whatever happens to you at this point... because you are defiant, and refuse to respect authority...

You really deserve no trust acting like you are now. You have shown you are not worthy of being trusted.

Maybe you really do deserve to be in Jail... seriously... you aren't listening to anyone, and insist on doing whatever you want.. and refuse to accept responsibility.

In the civilized world.. there is no place for this behavior. Your life is what you make it. And until you understand you have to follow rules... and listen to your elders and your superiors you are going to have serious problems. And continue like this you WILL end up in jail or worse. I have the distinct impression you really don't care.. as long as you get to do what you want. Also I hate to tell you... in jail you get to do almost NOTHING you want... they tell you when to sleep, when to wake up... when to use the bathroom, when to eat... everything.

Think its bad now?. just wait.

Sorry.. until you do exactly what you are supposed to do... answer him go home and take your punishment... I really have no sympathy for you. This mess is completely your own doing.

I'm not asking for sympathy, I have no need for it just wanted to know what I should do. Answer the phone go home and get punished don't talk keep me mouth shut. Is that right. I'm just finding it hard I'm trying to see it from an adult point of view I suppose jumping out of the car was stupid not going home was a bad choice know I deserve to be punished for that. Suppose he would have been mad getting called at work to come get me for fighting. This is messed up I'm messed up. I really have been trying so hard to just be some sort of normal for me da haven't been in any trouble I didn't even start this crap but another lesson I suppose.

Ok... this is what you should do... Call him up... or at least answer his call... Go home.. accept whatever punishment you get... because you do deserve it... you made a bad situation significantly worse.

Here is the key thing Adults see. Accepting responsibility for your own actions. Basically, I did this, I made the choice... even if it was the wrong decision, and I will accept the result of it, good or bad. What happened has happened and no amount of explaining will change it. If its bad.. I do not repeat it.

An adult will make a mistake, we aren't perfect. A smart adult learns from the mistake and doesn't keep repeating it over and over.

A child thinks talking will change what has already happened... an adult understands the past can not be changed... only the future. And the future depends on making the right decisions.. all the time. Wrong decisions change not only NOW.. but they change what your chances in the future are. THAT is why doing the right thing.. every time is so important.

What should you do? That's what you want to know right?

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Originally Posted by Thinkaboutit

You just don't understand

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And at your age, you are no doubt always right but after reading all your posts YOU have a lot to learn and with that attitude a hard life ahead. Life can be difficult, why make it harder?

I hope by now you're back home. Let your dad vent. Don't interrupt him with explanations. You know you were wrong to fight back. (Did the other girls get suspended?) Keep us informed. We do want your life to improve, but you know you have to push down and conquer these defensive impulses that get you into trouble.

THINKABOUTIT,

I hope you are at home safely, if you are not, please be home ASAP. Even though your it seems your dad will be angry, but still they are worrying in there heart for you, they cant tell you now on your face because they are upset about the suspension at school. As you have feelings and emotions, your dad also have it. As you can feel angry if someone hit you in the school, in the same way your dad can also feel angry if you are not listening or did something wrong. Can you also try to understand there heart? They love you but now they are upset about your situation and want to tell or yell to you about it. So just listen to them what they have to say... In that way you are making your own path clear and making everything right in your life because if you listen to parents, they will understand and open their heart towards you to listen your perspective and what you have to say. When they will calm down, you can share them how it all started and who knows, they can help you with your situation too. Please I know you feel, but try to understand parents also, they do everything to put you in school so that you can get education and to make you in depended, to make your future better. So, don't look outwards how upset they are and how they yell but see that they are worried and they don't want their children to suspended and to have bad future. Please, go home and give them space to tell you want they have to say, then when they are calm you talk to them about the situation. :) please let us know, if you need anymore help.

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Originally Posted by smoothy

Ok... this is what you should do... Call him up... or at least answer his call... Go home.. accept whatever punishment you get... because you do deserve it... you made a bad situation significantly worse.

Here is the key thing Adults see. Accepting responsibility for your own actions. Basically, I did this, I made the choice... even if it was the wrong decision, and I will accept the result of it, good or bad. What happened has happened and no amount of explaining will change it. If its bad.. I do not repeat it.

An adult will make a mistake, we aren't perfect. A smart adult learns from the mistake and doesn't keep repeating it over and over.

A child thinks talking will change what has already happened... an adult understands the past can not be changed... only the future. And the future depends on making the right decisions.. all the time. Wrong decisions change not only NOW.. but they change what your chances in the future are. THAT is why doing the right thing.. every time is so important.

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I think I understand more now I should just take responsibility for the actions I took, the things I know I did wrong, instead of trying to argue with me da that it wasn't me fault I just can't help it when he yells at me. I should have more respect for him he is me da. I will go home in the morning it's to early now it's like 4:30 don't think he'd like me waking him up now.

I just don't help me self do I, I can see it now I did just make everything worse by getting out of the car I don't know what makes me do these stupid things. Need to shut me mouth and use me brain more. I don't want to make trouble for me da just want to be some sort of normal for him

Where are you now?

You have to remember mistakes and wrong decisions made NOW... will affect things in the future, Get arrested and that will ALWAYS be with you every job you try to get.

If you think ONE year is a long time... consider you may have 60 more years to live with the mistakes of your youth.

Your father understands this... we understand this... when you understand this... you might think twice before doing something on impulse. When you think twice... you will find yourself making fewer mistakes and bad choices.

Please do not stay out all night, that will worry your dad and make things worse. Go home and face the music. Apologize for getting out of the car. Your dad is angry but he is also scared. He does not know what to do. You need to get back into counseling.

Me da will be asleep if I go home now ill just wake him up then he'll be more mad he'll have work in the morning I'll get home before he has to leave.

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Originally Posted by smoothy

You have to remember mistakes and wrong decisions made NOW... will affect things in the future, Get arrested and that will ALWAYS be with you every job you try to get.

If you think ONE year is a long time... consider you may have 60 more years to live with the mistakes of your youth.

Your father understands this... we understand this... when you understand this... you might think twice before doing something on impulse. When you think twice... you will find yourself making fewer mistakes and bad choices.

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Thanks for the advice need to try and stop and think about everything before I speak. Would make my life easier and me da if I just remember all the advice and not let me mouth take over.

He probably hasn't slept very well, if at all. Go home! (You have a key?)

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

He probably hasn't slept very well, if at all. Go home! (You have a key?)

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I did message him and told him I was all right, I was going to go home but fell asleep, I don't want him to be worried I just thought he might not be so angry stupid I know he's probably even more angry now. No I don't have a key me step mum is always home so don't need one.

Ok, take care of yourself, and go home as soon as possible.

I myself got worried, knowing that you are out there alone, in the night. Thinkaboutit? how much your parents would be.

No ones home not me da or step mum. Don't know where they are tried calling me da but no answer. Don't know if I should just wait here or what it's only 7:00 in the morning thought they would be here. I hope everything is all right. I'm such an idiot. Don't know what to do now.

You stay home until they get there.

Me da is making me do this anger management class. I know I'm suppose to take what ever punishment I'm given but I kind of think it's a bit extreme. Do you think I can talk to him about maybe not going, he's making me feel like I'm a violent person or something. I don't think it's necessary. I really don't want to make anything worse in enough trouble as it is. So thought I'd ask before I even bother talking to him.

For the love of all things holy! You take whatever punishment your father gives you and you do it graciously.

This is harsh, but after reading all of your threads and all of your problems, you are a parent's nightmare!

You go to those classes, you listen, you learn. Stop complaining about everything! This is the consequence to your action. Accept it!