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Ok so I will be going to university in a completely different country in September,and I don't want to leave my parents... I know that I'm going to feel super homesick and miss them so much? How much will anyone care for me as much as my parents do? Im scared of living alone without them
Welcome to the world of leaving childhood behind and moving towards becoming an adult.
Yes you will feel homesick... but yes you will overcome it in time.
None of this changes how much they care for you. They still will just as much, you just won't see them every day.
You are right, this is a huge step to take, and you should be a little scared, but it's also a huge step into the future, and the possibilities are boundless.
I was absolutely the same way when I went off to college. I remember the first two days were not fun. Then I started to meet people and it became a blast. This is one of life's steps to adulthood. Take it and have fun with it. Some of my close college buddies are still very close to this day. You will find the same thing. Remember when you see a college freshman sitting alone in the cafeteria she's probably feeling the same way you are. So talk to her. A few words out of your mouth will put you at ease. I promise.
You will miss them, certainly, and they will miss you. But, this amazing opportunity for you can't be dropped because you will be homesick.
At your fingertips you have a phone, Skype, email, texts, and messaging. All the electronics at hand to share everything you are doing, as well as keeping in touch with your parents in real time!
I say, suck it up buttercup!!
Those of us that can remember the days when we went off to college, without any of those things. Other than the phone, which was expensive to call long distance. Overseas was out of the question, and letter mail took a long time- there was no express mail then.
And yes, as Oliver said, this is a transition that you need to make in order to put your childhood behind you, and jump into adulthood. It is a necessary step in order for you to become educated, self efficient, and to develop the skills you'll need that will ensure that you can carry on into adulthood under your own steam, and your own emotional resources.
Think of it as summer camp. After you start getting busy with activities, your feeling homesick and lost disappears after the first few days. Come 'letter writing time', comes as a surprise because you just wrote a letter home, but it was already a week ago.
Prepare a calendar when you get settled, and add a few things a week to start, just to keep busy. I don't know where you are going, but if it is a university town, check out museums, and find parks. Spend time becoming familiar with where you are now living, so that it doesn't seem so foreign and weird.
You will be fine. I think it's wonderful that you have this opportunity. Best of luck!
So much depends on how independent you are now.
This is all part of change, and yes you will be homesick, You will experience new friends, and new places You can not of course always be with your parents at home, life changes as we age. You need to start looking and considering trying to find some of that independence.
Even when I am with my family,I tend to feel disconnected,as if I'm not one of them.
With friends,or anyone else,I have no meaningful connections.
Now with my mum I feel irritated all the time and start arguing
I feel like I cant understand anyone and no one understands me
Age please?
I've just turned 18
I've just turned 18Quote:
Originally Posted by Oliver2011
If we had a category called "What every teenager goes through" your question would be more suited for that category. You are currently making the leap into adulthood. The things you used to like when you were a child probably are changing. You're less dependent on family. You're figuring out your future. All of these steps are huge and scary. The good news is that all of us survive it. I bet your friends are having the same thing. I know I did at 18.
Or, you are very depressed.
Or you are starting the first stages of schizophrenia.
But mostly what Oliver said!
You would have to tell us a LOT about yourself to even begin to get a clue what might be going on.
At 18, I said I was 'disaffected' with the world. I was really depressed, but didn't even know the concept.
The reason your feeling this way is actually normal, Every person during adolescence feel that way, sometimes loneliness, irritated with family members, it seems like all are away and against us, seems like no one understands us, etc etc. we all feel this way because the things in our life is changing inside out ( remember when you first started your periods how you felt! Just like that.) So you are also leaving the childhood and entering into the adulthood, your body is growing, you are going through hormonal changes and few hormones in your body affects the moods and your emotional well being. We all go through this stage. It's the pathway towards the maturity but not THE MATURITY. And when you learn to differentiate a normal mood swing or emotional kicks from the real life things, when you learn to overcome those feelings, loneliness, depression, stuffs you will be going through then There YOU will attain MATURITY.
Keep a goal in you life, focus in your academics ( I know this is what you have been hearing all these days ; but its very true)). Then you will have no time to give a chance to these "feeling" things.
I have anxiety,stop scaring me with the schizophrenia pleaseQuote:
Originally Posted by joypulv
Just a few days ago you posted that you are going to another country for university in September and you are scared. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/other-...ts-810877.html
Frankly, it sounds like stress and apprehension are causing you to become defensive. Defensiveness can cause you to become overly-sensitive and prickly. It can also cause you to become withdrawn and feel like there is a wall around you.
Is there a chance you may be distancing yourself from those you care about because of a misguided (and probably subconscious) thought that it will make leaving easier? It doesn't.
It makes rebuilding bridges harder when time to go home for holidays.
Do you have any ways to relax and de-stress? Hobbies? Exercise? Anyone you can talk to and vent some of your fears?
Please understand that you asked a very general question, and the answers CAN range from typical teenage angst to schizophrenia.
If to you this means I am 'scaring' you, then you need to understand that it's no different from something medical like a stomach ache. You ask why, and the answers can be a vast range in the same way - from the most common, something you ate or worry, all the way to ulcer or tumor.
I now think that Cat has hit upon your anxiety.
We often feel disconnected from everything, and everyone when we are going through a big change. Especially when we have no one close enough to share our feelings with, and get a little sympathy and support. At 18 it's hard, since your friends are probably facing the same thing, and busy dealing with their own anxieties at this time.
I can only suggest sharing with a friend, or getting really busy with preparing for this change.
When I'm talking seriously and not messing around,even then people do not take me seriously and then say that I am the SERIOUS ONE HERE.
How do you deal with people who say that?
Why does this bother you? You can't control what people think or say about you so why let it get to you?
Just like there are people who are short, there are people who are tall. There are more serious people and there are whimsical people. It's what makes us all unique.
You accept them for who they are just as you want them to accept you.
Leave them be.
Why is there a need to address it. They have an opinion, right or wrong, In every situation and every group, someone is more serious. Perhaps your friends or those with you are to childish and foolish?
I'm crying here all alone in my room because no one gets me. I tried talking to my mum but she thinks I'm annoying and dissed me off. Crying feels good surprisingly, however I don't want to be like this anymore.
Relax. After what you have been going through it's just so normal to be feeling overwhelmed, and under supported because the changes in your life are such a huge deal to you, and rightfully so. For now crying is a good therapy and outlet for those feelings, and I wouldn't worry about it being a long term problem unless you just chose to wallow, and dwell on the scarey stuff and not begin to make adjustments to how you address what is to come, going to school and breaking the old familiar patterns of childhood and becoming an independent adult.
It's really okay to cry now, as you say goodbye to the old you, and make a plan to get to know and support the new you that you are to become. Like any bird who is making the first flights out of the nest. You are growing up and have to accept it, and embrace it, so you can look forward to it.
Anything you have never done before is scarey at first, but it's going to be a THRILL for you soon. Cry while you can, because you will be VERY busy soon.
Please note that your related questions have been merged to keep the whole situation in one place so others will not be confused.
THIS TO SOON SHALL PASS!Quote:
Originally Posted by natashap25
Relax take a breath and know that everything will be OK.
You are growing and changing into a adult.
The feelings you are having will pass.
Try meditating there tons of free self help guided meditations on you tube.
Good Luck!
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