Things at home haven't been going to well lately, I really don't fit into this family and its pretty obvious from the arguments me dad and I have had that he thinks so to. I don't want to go and stay with me mum I don't like her partner can't stand him. Me aunty lives in the same city as me just on the other side she always said I could go and stay with her any time I liked. I just want to know if I can leave and stay with her without me dads permission? I really can't stand to be in this house anymore and if I stay everything is just going to get worse. I've asked me dad about leaving but he just shut me down before I could really say anything Im his problem and no one else's apparently.

How old are you? Based on your earlier posts, you have a lot of "angst" issues.

You are 15 still?
"Stay with her any time" is a far, far cry from "live with."
She has to be the one to ask your dad.

Yes I'm still 15 until October. I suppose I didn't really word me question to well I don't want to live with her I'm not her kid so don't want to put that on her just stay for a while give them a break. I feel like I'm going to fall apart I can't handle being yelled at anymore I'm sick of arguments. I'm no good with dealing with this and I feel if I stay at the moment I'm going to make the wrong choices and do the wrong things and I don't want to do that. I don't want to make this a big thing either I'm just confused. Will it be a big drama if I just go and stay there for a while? Can I go without having me dads permission? I know my aunty will say yes but if I get her to ask dad he will just say no anyway.

Does your aunt know what's been going on? Would you use living with her as an opportunity to act up and do what you want? Is she your dad's sister?

You really need to get this sorted out and stop thinking about running off when things don't go the way you like. Just what do you and your dad argue about anyway? If you are doing your chores, helping out, focusing on doing well in school, going to work, etc. what exactly does he have to be upset with you about? Does he have unrealistic expectations of you? Do not put your aunt in the middle of this... first you need to continue getting your act together. You do realise that you will be expected to do chores, do well in school, ask permission to go out, make sure that you are home on time, etc, even if you were to go to your aunt's house, right?

IF you feel it is necessary to go, then you need to speak to your aunt first and explain all that has been going on so that she can decide whether she wants to deal with it. You also would need to discuss it calmly with your father. Be able to give a good explanation as to why it would be a good idea and not just because you don't want to have to live under his rules. As was said, your aunt and your father would have to talk about it and THEY decide where you will live.

Maybe they will go for you moving there for a short time. It might give everyone a bit of a break. If so, you had best be certain that you keep yourself on the right path... stop any whinging. You are old enough to know what you should and shouldn't be doing... so you have no excuses for poor choices.

My aunty is me mums sister. He's always yelling at me about the mistakes I've made in the pass, not doing enough around the house and after the parent teacher night last week that me grades aren't good enough and I'm not trying hard enough and of course me attitude. Me step mum can't find some of her jewellery so of corse I had to of taken it. I've tried to explain to him that I'm trying to change and I regret the things I've done and won't do again. I do help around the house its just I go to school then after school I go to work then I come home have homework to do and then babysit for them three days a week while me step mum goes to the gym as well as me chores. I'm trying but I need some time out. I know I over react sometimes and me attitude is a problem but when he's yelling I get defensive and I can't help it. I try not to argue back but after awhile I can't help it. Me wanting to go to me aunts isn't about getting to do what I want it's never been about that I just want some time out. I hope she finds her jewellery cause I never took it I've never stolen anything in my life and how could he even say that.

Basically and bluntly, no you can not just move out. You by law must live where your custodial parent tells you to live. I assume this is your father. If he says you can live with mom, you can live with mom, if he says aunt, you can live with aunt.

I would guess, you would soon have trouble at aunts also, since you find issues.
You get yelled out, for mistakes made, so learn and stop doing them. Not sure how bad your grades were, but if really bad, time to do better.

You need to start working on ways to improve where you are at, and stop thinking about running away

No, you cannot move anywhere without permission. Maybe you should talk to your aunt about other things besides moving out.

Maybe she is the responsible female adult you can listen to since you don't seem to listen to anyone else, nor seem to know WHY things keep getting worse for you. Everyone is always making you mad and upset, and you always minimize your own part in this long drama.

Can't live with mom, can't live with dad, now you want to try your aunt? Talk this out before you do anything, especially given all your past decisions. You don't need a vacation from your problems, you need DIRECTION, and some self discipline.

Have you run this latest episode by your therapist yet?

Harshness warning!

Your mother couldn't handle you. Now your father can't handle you. If you go to your Aunt's house, how long will it be before she can't handle you and where will you go then?

Have you considered that you might be the problem, not them? Have you considered that you deserve all that you are getting?

Changing your location won't make a lick of difference. You will still be you. You nee, to change your behavior and accept any and all punishments you get for acting the way you do. You are a very troubled child and need to make some serious changes in your life. Only you can change if you want to change and it appears you don't want to. I feel very sorry for your parents.

I don't want to move into me aunts house I just wanted to have a break for both of us. I thought about it today all the things we've been arguing about. Me grades in school aren't bad but there not great I am trying but I messed up last year skipped a lot of school so now I'm struggling to catch up. I do help out around the house but probably not as much as I should do, I tired from school and work and need time to study. They are me own problems and only I can fix them and after thinking about it I can understand why me dad is pissed at me.

I've decided to ask for less hours at work especially after school. It will give me more time to study and help me step mum out at home with chores and looking after me little sister. We have students at school who do tutoring during lunch break and after school I have enough money from working to pay for this me self so hopefully I can catch up and bring me grade up.

Thank you for answering me questions, and I'm sorry I ask too many stupid questions. I need to learn to calm down have time out and think about what me dad is saying instead of getting all defensive and making stuff worse than it is. Guess that's something I really need to work on. So no more questions about me problems

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Originally Posted by J_9

Harshness warning!

Your mother couldn't handle you. Now your father can't handle you. If you go to your Aunt's house, how long will it be before she can't handle you and where will you go then?

Have you considered that you might be the problem, not them? Have you considered that you deserve all that you are getting?

Changing your location won't make a lick of difference. You will still be you. You nee, to change your behavior and accept any and all punishments you get for acting the way you do. You are a very troubled child and need to make some serious changes in your life. Only you can change if you want to change and it appears you don't want to. I feel very sorry for your parents.

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Your right I see that. No more excuses or whinging. Me da yells at me for a reason cause he's angry at something I've done or haven't done and am suppose to of done. Guess I needed to hear that.

At this point, after all your posts, I'd love to get your dad's and stepmom's point of view.

Kiddo, you've been given good advice here. If you're following it you should have minimal problems at home.

You're 15, and 15 year olds think they know everything. They also don't fess up to their mistakes very well.

Your dad yells when you don't do what he expects you to do:

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Me da yells at me for a reason cause he's angry at something I've done or haven't done and am suppose to of done

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So stop making excuses and start doing what you're supposed to be doing!

It's not going to be better at your Aunts house, that's a temporary solution, and illegal unless your dad agrees to it. What happens when you don't listen to Auntie? What happens when she's had enough of your attitude and lack of obedience? Where would you go when she's had enough and kicks you out?

It's not about your mom, your dad, or your Aunt. It's about you! Smarten up already! You're the problem kiddo. You're the common denominator!

I'd love to know what me dads point of view is too. I do listen to what they say and do what they say but apparently I never follow through as me da says. I leave the house at 7:30 I walk to school after school I go to work until 5:30 I get home around 6. It's me job to bath the bub so I do that when I get home. Set the table for dinner after dinner I do the dishes then if its step mum gym night I babysit. Then me dad gets home around 7:30. Just after I've put me sister to bed and yells at me cause I haven't packed the dishes away and there are toys all over the lounge room. If I try to explain he yells at me more about me attitude and that I should show him more respect and be grateful that he let me come and stay. Then I get mad and argue back. Then he yells at me about using drugs and am I doing it again god. So next time I will put the dishes away and the toys before he gets home hopefully. There is just always something extra I didn't do. Yells at me for me grades which I know is me own fault I'm averaging C's a couple B's so I'm lazy and have no discipline. I see it as at least I'm not failing this year Im trying and it's only first term.


I know I do heaps of stuff wrong and I bring most of theses problems on me self. If I didn't hang out with me work friend for 15 minutes after work then I would have got home in time to do all me chores before da got home. I have a problem when he yells at me or tells me of I know he's me da but I don't even know him that well and the stuff he says makes me get defensive and offended and I can't help but argue with him.


I just wanted to go to me aunty's house so we could both have some time out I don't understand what's changed so much in the last few weeks. He never use to yell so much, he was never so picky about me chores. I don't think he wants me there anymore or he's just super angry at me. I don't know what to do. I tried to talk with him about going to me aunty's for a break not going to happen.I even asked if I could go for the school holidays there not far away but it's a no, I have to many responsibilities here. Anyway I know I need to get me act together and sort me self out just wanted to explain a bit more so you don't think I haven't taken all your advise I have listen and tried I just need to try harder. And stop over reacting and running away and making the situation worse for me self and me da.

Maybe you should show him what you've written on this site, let him read your point of view and the advice we've all given you. Maybe that will let him see that you are trying, you're just a bit lost as to how to prove yourself to him, to prove that you're doing your best to be the daughter he wants you to be.

Can't hurt. Give it some thought.

Nar its all good, thinking that probably just make him heaps more angry at me anyway well if he read everything. I haven't exactly been honest with him well I mean I haven't told him everything, anyway I just got to try harder. I ain't at home that much anyway so I just have to get me stuff done and try and do better at school, I started tutoring on me lunch breaks today so hope that helps with me grades. If he yells at me I'm just going to block it out other wise I'll just argue back. I just need to keep out of his way and do what I'm suppose to. If that doesn't work ill be 16 at the end of the year then I can go where ever I want anyway.

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Originally Posted by Thinkaboutit

Nar its all good, thinking that probably just make him heaps more angry at me anyway well if he read everything. I haven't exactly been honest with him well I mean I haven't told him everything, anyway I just got to try harder. I ain't at home that much anyway so I just have to get me stuff done and try and do better at school, I started tutoring on me lunch breaks today so hope that helps with me grades. If he yells at me I'm just going to block it out other wise I'll just argue back. I just need to keep out of his way and do what I'm suppose to. If that doesn't work ill be 16 at the end of the year then I can go where ever I want anyway.

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You can go wherever you want at 16? Where do you live? Most places it's 18.

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Originally Posted by Alty

You can go wherever you want at 16? Where do you live? Most places it's 18.

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I live in Australia, South Australia, from what I read last night you can leave home when ever you like. Unless there is a Court Order which says who you must live with or of you are on a child protection order. I don't have either of these and I don't think me da or mum would worry about trying to get a child protection order. I just through 16 seemed like a better time to wait. Things haven't been so bad but I still can't wait to get of here.

So you don't have a problem moving out at 16 and setting yourself up for failure? I feel very sorry for you and your family.

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Originally Posted by J_9

So you don't have a problem moving out at 16 and setting yourself up for failure? I feel very sorry for you and your family.

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How would I be setting me self up for failure, I'm not totally stupid I know how hard it is to survive, I wouldn't even consider moving out if I didn't have a plan. Last year we visited me uncle in Coral Bay he ownes a hotel there, I get along really well with me uncle he's funny and easy to talk to. He offered me a traineeship for business administration and management. But I have to finish year 10 and pass to be able to qualifiy for a traineeship. I finish year ten this year. I can stay with him and me cousin or I can stay in the staff accomadation. It's a traineeship so its not a great hourly pay rate it's only $17.80 hr but its only Monday to Friday and I can work in the restraunt at night or on weekends. I think it's the best thing for me to do. Then I'm out of everyone's way I was going to wait until I graduated but what's the point only need year ten and then I ain't his problem anymore.

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Originally Posted by Thinkaboutit

How would I be setting me self up for failure, I'm not totally stupid I know how hard it is to survive, I wouldn't even consider moving out if I didn't have a plan. Last year we visited me uncle in Coral Bay he ownes a hotel there, I get along really well with me uncle he's funny and easy to talk to. He offered me a traineeship for business administration and management. But I have to finish year 10 and pass to be able to qualifiy for a traineeship. I finish year ten this year. I can stay with him and me cousin or I can stay in the staff accomadation. It's a traineeship so its not a great hourly pay rate it's only $17.80 hr but its only Monday to Friday and I can work in the restraunt at night or on weekends. I think it's the best thing for me to do. Then I'm out of everyone's way I was going to wait until I graduated but what's the point only need year ten and then I ain't his problem anymore.

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So you plan to quit school, not graduate, and hope that you can make it working at your Uncle's hotel. What if the hotel goes under? What if your Uncle has to fire you because it's not working out? What then? Do you really think anyone will hire you with only a grade 10 education, and not even very good marks to show for it?

Do you ever want to own your own home? Do you ever want to own a car? Do you ever want to travel, or simply be able to afford to eat?

At 15 I know you haven't thought all this through. You may think you're smart, but when it comes to living in the real world, you're not ready. No child your age is.

You say you aren't stupid, but you can't follow the rules your parents have set up for you, you can't get along with your family, and you think you can support yourself at the tender age of 16.

You may not be stupid, but you are ignorant. Ignorant in the ways of the world. At your age you can't comprehend the seriousness of how the choices you make today will affect your future.

I may be ignorant in the ways of the world but if I stay here its not going to work. I think it's the best thing to do ill still be attending a college and working at the same time so its not as if I want be qualified at the end of the two years. As for supporting me self I can stay with me uncle I will pay my board and for all my own things.

What difference does it make weather I do it at the end of this year or after I graduate I don't see how it will make a difference. I can't always worry about what ifs! So what if I stay and me dad doesn't want me here anymore then what? What if I stay and things just get worse and worse. I know the choices I make come with consequences and ill have to deal with them but if I weigh it up in me head I only see negative staying here. This is what I wanted to do when I graduated so I'm just fast forwarding a little.

I do follow the rules me dad has for me, it's a bit hard to always get it right when I don't really know what they are. Me dad is very different to me mum things I was aloud to do at me mums are not OK here. I do honestly try to get along with me dad, I don't really know him that well he left when I was little and never really had much to do with me. He only let me come here because he felt bad. It's awkward see it from me point of view, being made to go live with someone you don't really know with a whole new family, I don't know how to fit. It's hard and awkward and I really don't feel comfortable being in the house.

I think we are wasting our breathe on this, this one just wants to keep kicking the can down the road. Typical teenager.

You can attend college without graduating high school in Australia?

I give up. Nothing we say Is going to make a difference. This child is going to do what she wants whenever she wants to. No amount of common sense is going to help her.

Good odd luck to you Think. You have no idea how hard life is going to be for you.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

You can attend college without graduating high school in Australia?

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Well it's not really college it's called tafe. It's vocational education and training provider. And yes as long as you have passed year 10 you can. You can also use tafe as a pathway to university. I don't really know how to explain what it is, as a student if your under the age of 17 where I live you can quit high school as long as you are enrolled in Tafe. I've been to Tafe a few time with me class I find it easier to learn as there is less distraction, the people that attend tafe want to study not teenagers messing around. I tried to convince me dad to let me study me year 10 high school certificate at tafe but he didn't like me having no supervisation. Meh anyway.

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Originally Posted by J_9

I give up. Nothing we say Is going to make a difference. This child is going to do what she wants whenever she wants to. No amount of common sense is going to help her.

Good odd luck to you Think. You have no idea how hard life is going to be for you.

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I just don't get it I don't see why it's such a bad idea. Really would life be any easier if I waited until I graduated. I don't understand. It doesn't matter anyway I have a whole year left before I can make that decision. Maybe I'm just not mature enough to see it in the way you all see it. I really don't know just thought it might be a solution to me relationship with me dad and getting away from it.

All of this to my mind boils down to how horrible home life is. And we just can't really know. It really sounds like just a lot of fighting, something most of us and most every teen goes through.
You have not exactly been a model kid, skipping school a lot and so on.
You let our answers whoosh right over your head half the time, such as asking about staying elsewhere. We say no you can't live with your aunt without your aunt asking your dad and your dad saying yes, and you say "Oh I just want a break, not live with her," and the arguing goes on and on. Now it's your uncle! SO GO AS SOON AS YOU ARE LEGALLY ABLE!!!

I DO feel for you, with both parents having new partners. I do, I do. But we don't see them, we aren't there, we can't get the picture, and you don't paint a good picture. My mother was a holy terror and I was miserable, and I was the best dooby you ever saw, got all As, did chores, never did a single thing wrong. I held my breath and WAITED until after I finished high school.

Joy, remember that this kid has a bad past, read all her threads. She was involved in drugs, and hanging out with bad people. Her mother couldn't handle it anymore so she was sent to her dads. Since then she's snuck out to hang with older kids, and really hasn't shown that she's put her past ways behind her. She continues to make bad decisions, and her dad did his best, but gave up. She just wouldn't listen!

Personally I feel for her parents. It seems that neither one of them can control this child, set her on the right path. I was hoping that our words would help, and they seemed to for a while, but every time we gave advice she posted a new thread with yet another issue she was handling wrong.

I get that she's 15, and 15 year olds don't have the sense God gave a goat. I have a 16 year old, he thinks he knows everything, but he listens because I won't give up on him. Then again, he was raised in a home that doesn't allow the types of things the OP (original poster) is doing. It would have been nipped in the butt right away, whatever had to be done would have been done, even if it meant sending him to rehab or something else. Thankfully he's not in that position, and never will be.

I knew everything back when I was 16 too. I did! Or so I thought until I actually started to grow a brain and realize that I didn't know anything at that age. But try telling that to a teenager. They won't listen, because they think they know it all. Then again, even when I knew everything I was still respectful to my parents. This child isn't.

Fact is, we tried to help this kid. We've all given the best advice we can. Sadly she doesn't really listen to anyone, not her parents, not us. She knows everything, just like every other 15 year old out there. Maybe she needs to experience things, find out for herself that the things she thinks she knows, she really doesn't have a clue about. Maybe she needs to learn the hard way, by living with the poor choices she's making.

Sometimes you have to make mistakes so you can learn and move on. I just hope those mistakes won't end up costing her everything.

Personally I'd really like to talk to the dad, give him support, give him words of encouragement. He's the one that needs help dealing with this very troubled teen. I feel for him.

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Originally Posted by Alty

Joy, remember that this kid has a bad past, read all her threads. She was involved in drugs, and hanging out with bad people. Her mother couldn't handle it anymore so she was sent to her dads. Since then she's snuck out to hang with older kids, and really hasn't shown that she's put her past ways behind her. She continues to make bad decisions, and her dad did his best, but gave up. She just wouldn't listen!

Personally I feel for her parents. It seems that neither one of them can control this child, set her on the right path. I was hoping that our words would help, and they seemed to for a while, but every time we gave advice she posted a new thread with yet another issue she was handling wrong.

I get that she's 15, and 15 year olds don't have the sense God gave a goat. I have a 16 year old, he thinks he knows everything, but he listens because I won't give up on him. Then again, he was raised in a home that doesn't allow the types of things the OP (original poster) is doing. It would have been nipped in the butt right away, whatever had to be done would have been done, even if it meant sending him to rehab or something else. Thankfully he's not in that position, and never will be.

I knew everything back when I was 16 too. I did! Or so I thought until I actually started to grow a brain and realize that I didn't know anything at that age. But try telling that to a teenager. They won't listen, because they think they know it all. Then again, even when I knew everything I was still respectful to my parents. This child isn't.

Fact is, we tried to help this kid. We've all given the best advice we can. Sadly she doesn't really listen to anyone, not her parents, not us. She knows everything, just like every other 15 year old out there. Maybe she needs to experience things, find out for herself that the things she thinks she knows, she really doesn't have a clue about. Maybe she needs to learn the hard way, by living with the poor choices she's making.

Sometimes you have to make mistakes so you can learn and move on. I just hope those mistakes won't end up costing her everything.

Personally I'd really like to talk to the dad, give him support, give him words of encouragement. He's the one that needs help dealing with this very troubled teen. I feel for him.

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Omg, I wasn't even going to reply to this just makes me look even more argumentative but I can't help it, I was not doing drugs and hanging out with bad people when I lived with me mum. I hung out with me friends that I grew up with we were a little nerdy, I'd never done anything that would get me in trouble we were well behaved. I came to me dads because I don't like me mums partner he is a pig and I can't stand him, me mum loves him cant see why but anyway I have a problem with me mouth can't seem to keep it shut when it comes stuff like that. The only reason I was sent to me dads was because I don't like him and if I'm honest I did kind of start to get a little mouthy with me mum but not drugs.

Yes when I came to me dads I messed up I did take drugs and hang out with the wrong people I did sneak out drink stupid stuff. Once I told me dad about me problems and got some help I snuck out once and hurt me self and I haven't done it again lesson learned. I don't understand how I haven't been listening to me dad I had a boyfriend he said no so I broke it off, he wants me to do stuff around his house I try me best babysit when ever they need to go out. He wanted me to do counselling I did what he wanted me to. I'm not saying that I did a perfect job at listening to him but I tried. I don't understand how I'm not respectful to me parents.

Really I don't listen to anyone here I kind of thought I did that, if it wasn't for the advice I got here I don't think I would have even told me da. All the advice I've been given I'm pretty sure I've followed most of it. If I thought I knew everything I wouldn't have come to this web site to begin with. And me poor choices I will live with them and I've learnt from them and I guess I have heaps more to make.

Im 15 qt the moment I still have a year left of school to finish, bring me grades up, work me job and do what I need to at home in a more better way to get it done and follow through. So if I'm on the wrong path there to bad. Oh and learn not to argue with me da stand there and listen.

I'm going to repeat how frustrating you are.
The title of your post is MOVING OUT. You say "I just can't stand to be in this house anymore."
As soon as you are told that you can't just go without your aunt specifically wanting you to live there, and your dad's permission, you claimed that's not what you want - you just want a place to go for a break.

You change, you backtrack, you argue, you are all over the place.
PLEASE get your thoughts together. We are all volunteers here.
15 is very young. But it's old enough to think before you write.