Ask Me Help Desk - I want to be a Girl. Can someone help?

I want to be a Girl. Can someone help?

I want to be a girl. I am a 14 year old boy. I already wear girl clothes (Not in public) I wear Bras all the time, I were panties, pantie hoes. And some other stuff. Can someone give me some tips on being a girl?

I can't give you tips on being a girl, you either are one or you're not. It's not a matter of just wanting to be. Maybe you should talk to a professional about this. Sounds to me like you're having an identity crisis.

I want to be a girl. I just need some advice.

No one can tell you how to be a girl. You watch girls and try to mimic them, but that does not make you a girl, it just means you act like some girls.

I mean some advice on maybe taking hormones. And some other stuff.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChaseAmos

I mean some advice on maybe taking hormones. And some other stuff.

It's not that easy. Taking hormones doesn't turn your penis into a vagina.

You can't just do any of that without going through counseling. As far as I know, it is required that you do counseling before you are allowed to move forward with things like this legally. It's not like you can just buy hormones in the store. You need prescriptions and before they will write one out for you, you need to follow the legal procedures. Also, you're kidding yourself if you think you can do this at age 14...you have to be considered a legal adult before you can move forward with things like hormones and such.

And J_9 is correct...taking hormones doesn't solve it all.

Ik

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChaseAmos

Ik

What does that mean?

I know all this stuff you guys told me.

First, no doctor will prescribe hormone therapy or perform the necessary surgery on a minor. So you will have to wait until you are 18, at least, to have this done.

So what you need to do now, is talk to a counselor. You can try a school counselor who can help you talk to your parents. Your parents can then arrange for counseling to help you deal with your feeling until you are 18.

The process is expensive and not covered under health insurance. So you will need to save up for it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChaseAmos

I know all this stuff you guys told me.

If you know this, then what can we help you with?

Do your parents know you want to be a girl? Does anyone? Its not going to happen right now, but you need someone close and trusted to talk to. One or both parents would be a good first choice.

What do you think?

This helps. I am scared to tell my parents or anyone close to me. What should I do?

For now do nothing, but be a good person, and think hard about whom to choose to be a confidant for you. Got any ideas about it? A trusted adult who is also a good listener? Practice an approach to one of your parents until you are comfortable.

How is the relationship with them both? Any brothers or sisters? Best friends, male or female? Are you involved in social groups at school, church, home? Whom in your family do you most admire and trust? Got good role model? All of these things are important for support and how you deal with others and sorry for all the questions.

This is a difficult issue. People are just beginning to accept gays, and even then it's still a struggle. Transgender is even more of a struggle for most people.

Do you know who Chaz is? Chaz was born Chastity Bono, the daughter of Cher and Sonny Bono (long before your time). Chastity is now Chaz, a transgender. "He" has had "his" breasts removed, and is working towards surgery to have a penis as well. "He" takes male hormones. I recently watched a documentary on Netflix about Chaz, and the trials "he's" had during this change, and the trials that "he" has yet to face. It hasn't been an easy journey.

I myself am female, was born female, and love being female. I don't understand how someone like you feels, the feeling of being in the wrong body.

If this is something you really feel, you need to talk to your parents. Some parents are very understanding, others aren't. It's a hard thing to understand when you're not in the position you're in.

At 14 you'll need your parents help to start therapy, hopefully with a therapist that deals with gender confusion. At 14 you won't be allowed to start hormone therapy without your parents consent. You won't be allowed surgery without your parents consent. Right now, therapy is really the best thing you can do. Get that started so that when you turn 18, you have the info you need to go the next step, if that's what you still want at 18.

I wish we could give you more advice about this, but really, it's not something most people know a lot about, since most people are okay with their gender, and can't understand what it feels like to be trapped in a gender you feel isn't yours.

Don't lose hope. If you have Netflix, go to documentaries, and look up the one about Chaz. I don't remember the title, but it should be pretty easy to find.

Good luck to you. :)

Found the documentary title. It's "Becoming Chaz".

http://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&rct=j&...rpecF9rPHmJhNg

Unique look at what a transgender person goes through. Very enlightening.

I'd get your parents to watch it too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChaseAmos

This helps. I am scared to tell my parents or anyone close to me. What should I do?

You need to discuss this with your parents. Either with an intermediary or directly. You can wait until turn 18 if you want since you can't do anything until then.

I just can't tell my parents. They won't respond to it well.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChaseAmos

I just can't tell my parents. They won't respond to it well.

Then there isn't much you can do until you have the age and money to do something about it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChaseAmos

I just can't tell my parents. They won't respond to it well.

Then you have to wait until you're 18. They won't accept it any easier then. That's the sad truth.

How do you know they won't respond to it well? What makes you think that?

I can just tell they won't. I think that because I don't know my real father. And my mother I can just tell.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChaseAmos

I can just tell they won't. I think that because I don't know my real father. And my mother I can just tell.

Then you're stuck with the only answer we can give you, and that's to wait until you're legally an adult, and can make your own decisions.

If you decide to go through with becoming female, your parents will find out. It won't be any easier in 4 years than it is now.

But the choice is yours. You can start your journey now, with your parents help, or wait until you no longer need their permission.

Good luck.

Thank you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChaseAmos

Thank you.

You're very welcome. I hope it all goes well. Sadly, we can only help you as much as you're willing to help yourself. If you won't, or can't, do what we suggest, our hands really are tied.

I really do suggest you watch the documentary I posted. It may help a bit. :)

Keep me posted on how it all goes.

Are there any support groups for transgender teens?

Does anyone know about a online teen support group for transgender?

Did you try to Google it?

Yea, nothing helpful though.

I found several sites by googling support groups for transgender teens.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

You're very welcome. I hope it all goes well. Sadly, we can only help you as much as you're willing to help yourself. If you won't, or can't, do what we suggest, our hands really are tied.

I really do suggest you watch the documentary I posted. It may help a bit. :)

Keep me posted on how it all goes.

I am thinking about telling my aunt