I am only sixteen and now six months pregnant, I haven't gone to the doctors yet because I can't tell my mother that I am. My mother has always been very strict with me and I am afraid of what she might do,I have tried so many times to tell her but I get afraid every time. My Mother has not noticed that I am pregnant yet but judging by how fast I"m "growing" I know that she will find out soon. I need some ideas to tell her, I'm afraid for my babies life. My boyfriend is still here and he really wants me to tell my mom but it seems like nobody understands how hard this is for me.

I feel for you girl I really do.. I'm 16 and sexually active and I'm always scared ill get pregentl you have a long road ahead and telling your mom should be the least of your problems. There's a few ways you could do it
Casual- show her your stomach and just say oops.
Informative- tell her you have something very important to tell her and sit her down and just do it, if you think you will chicken out right her a note that says that you need to talk to her and to come to her immediately
Chicken way out- write it to her in a letter
Hope it helps girl good luck... ill help you out if you need it k because I do feel for you a lot

First of all, you need to get to the doctor, even if it is just a local clinic. You are putting the health of the baby in jeopardy by not getting prenatal wellness visits. You should actually be more afraid of the life of your child because you have not been to the doctor than because of your mother.

Now, with that said, you should not fear for your baby's life because you are past the point of abortion, so she cannot make you have an abortion. Also, when the baby is born she cannot force you to give it up for adoption, but I do feel that would be in the best interest of the child. Children need 2 parents to grow in a healthy environment. At this point you probably are not able to afford a child. So, please consider this as an option.

Hun, you are just going to come straight out and tell her. Sure, she will probably be angry at first, but once the baby is born things will most likely be different.

Oh dear , I note that you have not mentioned the fathers presence here, is he a long standing boyfriend that mum approves of?

You need to sit mum down and explain that you have some news of which is negative yet positive at the same time.
Start by apologizing as you feel you have not met her expectations yet you are sure that this can bring you both closer together, you have got yourself into a situation and you need her to be there for you now more than ever. You will understand if she is upset with you and for that you are sorry yet you are ready to do this but you need her support!

Mum will be shocked and upset when you tell her , that you have to be ready for but she is your mother and she will stand by you as long as you are ready to accept the consequence of your actions i.e. baby and motherhood.

When you tell mum remember that in her eyes you will always be her baby no matter how old you are and she will love you unconditionally!

Good Luck sweetheart bringing another life into the world is a wonderful experience yet I kid you not hard work from the beginning that said this will be the most rewarding thing you do in your life! Take care of yourself ask mum to join you at the doctors and keep her involved she will be your best friend in all of this as long as you are honest with her.

You know the day the water breaks is not the time for your mom to find out. There are many health issues that needs to be dealt with. Tell you mom, ( she will know soon enough anyway)

You are going to have to stop acting like a child, and start thinking about the welfare of the baby. You need to have your health checked, NOW.

You mom will get over it

Tell your mom. Like other have said. It's not good for the Baby that you haven't gone to the Doctors. Moms will be Moms and she will be mad but she will also think about the baby you have in you and she will understand. Make sure to let us know how things go. Best of Luck :) oh and by the way is that pic you have, of your Quinceañera?

Definitely tell your mom. She may be mad and a little physco at first, but believe me once she starts to understand completely that nothing she can do will get rid of it, she will start to calm down more. Sit her down one night at super and ask her when she's not too stressed out. I'm 15 and I just went through the same thing. Need more advise? Let me know..

You have got to go to the clinic! It is so important to get medical care when you are pregnant! You have made an adult discision by having sex in the first place! Now you need to act like an adult your going to be someone's mother! You have to sit down with your Mom and tell her the truth! And if the Father wants to be apart of all this he should be there too! Don't pull up your shirt and say opps! That's not a good way of handling it! I wish you luck! It is a long hard road your headed down!

Together with your boyfriend, go tell your mom. She might be shocked at first but she'll have no choice but accept it and be supportive.
All the best to you!

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Originally Posted by Lotz_of_Questions

Tell your mom. Like other have said. It's not good for the Baby that you haven't gone to the Doctors. Moms will be Moms and she will be mad but she will also think about the baby you have in you and she will understand. Make sure to let us know how things go. Best of Luck :) oh and by the way is that pic you have, of your Quinceañera?

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Yes, That picture is from my quince well actually my sweet 16 but I had everything that a quinceanera has only one year later

You know I have to wonder who does your washing because no mother isn't going to realise there child isn't having periods tell her sweety its not right that she shouldn't know.

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Originally Posted by curlybenswife

You know i have to wonder who does your washing because no mother isnt gonna realise there child isnt having periods tell her sweety its not right that she shouldnt know.

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Yes I do wash my own clothes, my mom is never home anymore ever since she ogt this new job over the summer she does nothing but go to work and then when she comes home all she does is sleep.

Well she must be mighty busy to notice there are now soiled undies once a month blimey my mum would have been onto me like a shot.
Have you thought about how you are going to tell her yet?

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Originally Posted by curlybenswife

well she must be mighty busy to notice there are now soiled undies once a month blimey my mum would have been onto me like a shot.
Have you thought about how you are going to tell her yet??

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Well I thought about doing the letter thing but every time I write a new one I delete it because it sounds dumb so I decided that today when I go to work I'm going to call her cell phone and leave her a message on the phone :(

Oh hunn I really do feel for you its going to be far from easy good luck to you xx

Please be prepared for a bit of yelling on her part. Not because she does not love you, but because she is frustrated. The sooner you tell her the better for you and your unborn baby

I hope how ever you decided to tell her that you tell her soon! I wish you luck and keep us posted!

Telling your mother is not going to be easy, take it from me, I was 16 and living with my grandparents when I found out is was pregnant unfortunately I lost my child at 3 months, I was scared to death! But I knew I had to tell them, yes there was a lot of yelling and crying, you are 6 months along and missed very important check ups for you and your child, its time to have a sit down with you mom and remember no matter what she says when she is angry, she loves you and understands what your body is going through, eventually she will come around! But you have to be strong for your child and yourself

Trust me I know how hard it is but you have to tell her. Only you know her best and judging by how my acted when I was sure I was she'd rather her it from you and in a little crowd or no crowd at all. When you do tell her be really sincere. Why do you fear for your baby's life? You can't get an abortion now and your mom can't make you adopt. You can't abort because you have to be earlier than 5 months and it your decision to adopt or not. Trust me the same thing happened to my mom but she got pregnant within a couple months before her 14th b-day my nana did everything thing to make my mom either abort but she was already too late (5months) and the doctors said that my nana couldn't force her to adopt. My mom moved out with my father a month or two nafter my older brother was born, After that my nana asked my mom to move back in and everything was OK. GOOD LUCK!

Ok guys I finally told her, this is the stupidest thing I've done so far. Arter I told she the first thing she did was make an appointment at the abortion clinic. She made an appointment for sat. the 14th but I don want to go, I told her that I'm already 6 months and that she can't force me but she insists that she can force me and that you can go after 6 months. Who's right? Do I have to losse my baby? What can I do to stop her? Please I need help and fast!!

6 months is too late. She can not force you to do anything. It is your choice not hers. No, you are not going to lose your baby.

It is your baby, and your body, and your life. Keep your baby and love it.

No one can force you hon, and you are far too along anyway. I suggest that you go and see a clinic. They can help you research other options. Not necessarily adoption if you want to keep the baby (although as hard as it may seem, I think this would be your best answer, given your age) but also ways to get medical attention. I don't know if you live in the states or not, but the government will help you with your hospital bills and with food and medicine for the baby. (Look up Passport (free health insurance), & WIC (food stamps, etc) online.) They also can direct you to someone to talk to to help you deal with your mother in a sensible way so as not to stress yourself out and cause harm to you or your baby. Stay strong. Things will work out. Even when it seems rough. But the main thing is getting to a doctor and making sure that baby is healthy and you are too.

She can not force you, also don't beleve anything they tell you at the clinic if she tries to make you go. Just don't go, the county health dept can help arrange medical checkups and the WIC normally also.

Sadly while I normally believe in listening to your parents, when she is over reacting and lying to you, at times you will have to be the adult when the parent is not.

Uh, yeah I just re-read my post, and I meant a health clinic like planned parenthood, not an abortion clinic... just to clear things up...

The only things you have to do in life are die and pay taxes. Nobody can force you to do anything (besides paying taxes :D).

:eek: Ok guys I told my parents, and now they have completely fliped out on me. They are trying to force me to have an abortion even though I am already 6 months not only that, they are trying to put my 19 year old boyfriend in jail for satutary rape:confused: what do I do? Can I leave the house? There is only a 3 year difference between us, can they really do anything to him?

First of all they can not force you to have an abortion. Your 6 months. Even if you were not it is ONLY YOUR DECISION.

As far as your boyfriend is concerned I am not sure. They probably could probably charge him.

You need to make the decisions that are best for you and your baby. Your parents can not do a thing about you being pregnant. It is your choice and they can not murder your baby, because that is exactly what it would be if anything illegal was performed.

You were giving lots of resources to help you out in your original post. Please re read all the advice and contact local programs that will help you with your pregnancy, with taking care of your baby and other options.

Best wishes to you and your baby and your boyfriend.

Joe

According to the site I just checked -- NJ law is 4 years difference in age before the statutory rape laws kick in -- but laws change -- Savage
Statutory Rape Laws by State

I just went threw the same thing that you have or are going to go threw. We told my g/fs parents when she was just about 5 weeks along.. As soon as we found out. Everyone was mad at first. Saying that I'll leave (sterotypeing guys) your mom will do it. I had to go threw about 3months of everyone saying I was going to leave her sometime. Now were almost there and either one of our familys can wait includeing us. You will really think about all the growing up that you have to do now. Because its not all about having fun and hangin out w/friends anymore. Your going to have a 24-7 Job but I know you just as I will won't trade it for anything... So just sit down with your parents and tell them you messed up. Everyone does. Just sit there and take in everything she has to say about you messin up your life and all that fun stuff... But after awhile she won't think it's a bad thing she won't be able to wait for her little grand kid to come

Hi, I would recommend that you sit down with your boyfriend and really talk about what you want to do. Do you both want to parent? Will you be able to stay in school? Is he working to pay for babies needs (and yours if you stay in school to finish)? I would take this plan to your parents so that they can see that you are serious in making this work.

If you are interested in adoption, you might want to contact an agency in your area to get information on the different types. We adopted our son through open adoption and see his birthmother and family (including the birthfathers daughters) twice a year. So, there are other ways to be involved in your babies life even if you choose not to parent. If you would like, I can give your more info on our situation (only if you're interested).

I will be thinking about you. I'm glad that your boyfriend is there to help support you. I wish you the best and take of yourself and see a doctor asap.

I know you parents are probably disappointed. They are human too, and hopefully they will calm down and start being supportive. Remember, you have had 6 months to get use to the idea of a baby coming - they just found out.

However, if they do not calm down - you may need to go to "plan b". Does your b/f live at home with his parents? Do they know? Could you possibly live with them?
You need a positive support system. You also need to get to the dr. and get checked out.
Go to planned parenthood - you should be able to get prenatal care there.

Chin up, it will get better.

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Originally Posted by GloveR1

I am only sixteen and now six months pregnant, i havent gone to the doctors yet because i can't tell my mother that I am. My mother has always been very strict with me and I am afraid of what she might do,i have tried so many times to tell her but i get afraid every time. My Mother has not noticed that i am pregnant yet but judging by how fast I"m "growing" i know that she will find out soon. i need some ideas to tell her, I'm afraid for my babies life. My boyfriend is still here and he really wants me to tell my mom but it seems like nobody understands how hard this is for me.

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Hey, I'm 16 too, and my mum just found out. If you sit down with her and talk to her about what you want and what you want to do with your baby then everything should be OK. I now have a baby that is 4 months old and it was worth everything that came my way. If you need to talk I am here and I would like to help :)

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Originally Posted by GloveR1

I am only sixteen and now six months pregnant, i havent gone to the doctors yet because i can't tell my mother that I am. My mother has always been very strict with me and I am afraid of what she might do,i have tried so many times to tell her but i get afraid every time. My Mother has not noticed that i am pregnant yet but judging by how fast I"m "growing" i know that she will find out soon. i need some ideas to tell her, I'm afraid for my babies life. My boyfriend is still here and he really wants me to tell my mom but it seems like nobody understands how hard this is for me.

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Okay... dont panic! The stress it's good for you or that baby.. first thing you should do is get to the doctors. I'm sure you can get to a clinic and you don't need your mom for that. Now I know what I'm talking about.. im going to be a mom soon also and I'm only 14.. im 8 1/2 months pregnant right now. My dad seems like your mom.. have you considered writing her a letter? I didn't have to tell my dad because my mom did. Being that your 6 months pregnant I don't think your going to be able to hide that for very much longer. When I was 6 mohts people thought I was 9.. lol.. but that beside the point. As soon as you tell your mom I'm sure she is going to be dissapointed but after the deed is done you can't take it back now. Im sure your mom will get over the angryness and be happy about it sooner or later. My dad kicked me out of the house.. that's how mad he was. Now he seems to be better. The big concern with you is to just get to the doctor. I had so many problems with my pregnancy and its not something you can tell. I mean you don't get side effects or anything. For example I have high blood pressure and I'm enemic. Which means I'm really laking iron and I hae to take pills for it 2 times a day or my labor could be horrible.. and plus don't you want to know what your having? Well write me later. Good luck

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Originally Posted by GloveR1

I am only sixteen and now six months pregnant, i havent gone to the doctors yet because i can't tell my mother that I am. My mother has always been very strict with me and I am afraid of what she might do,i have tried so many times to tell her but i get afraid every time. My Mother has not noticed that i am pregnant yet but judging by how fast I"m "growing" i know that she will find out soon. i need some ideas to tell her, I'm afraid for my babies life. My boyfriend is still here and he really wants me to tell my mom but it seems like nobody understands how hard this is for me.

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Hi. I'm 16 too and I've been in that same situation. I wasn't pregnant but I missed my period for 2 months. I planned and planned over my head what I should do if I ever was pregnant at a young age. I really think that the best way to tell your mom is if your boyfriends parents also know that your pregnant they should sit with you and your boyfriend and talk things out. The best way to solve this is by communicating and that is everyone who is going to be closely affected by this which are his parents and yours. If your boyfriends parents don't know and you wouldn't want them to find out before your mom you should sit down with your boyfriend and your mom and talk things out. Once more the key here is communication and finding the best way to deal with it. If you still go to school, another good way is to talk it over with your counselor and your mom having a counselor present is always good they can open her mind a little more as to how she can deal with it as well as you. If you need anymore answers please don't hesitate to e-mail me at [email protected] or on myspace.com/perfecthairdue

I'm always glad to help people through situations that I've been through before.

Cassy

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Originally Posted by GloveR1

I am only sixteen and now six months pregnant, i havent gone to the doctors yet because i can't tell my mother that I am. My mother has always been very strict with me and I am afraid of what she might do,i have tried so many times to tell her but i get afraid every time. My Mother has not noticed that i am pregnant yet but judging by how fast I"m "growing" i know that she will find out soon. i need some ideas to tell her, I'm afraid for my babies life. My boyfriend is still here and he really wants me to tell my mom but it seems like nobody understands how hard this is for me.

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Well if u believe she will forgive you, you have to tell her. A mother will understand, she will help you through it all, I mean doesn't she know because you should be getting very big now.
Well anyway you should tell your Mother she will under stand. If you feel she shouldn't know then its up to you to do the right thing. But I for one hope you tell her. Good luck.

I am a mom of 4 children and am have very conservative values, many would call me strict. I expect my children to follow the "rules". This being said, if you were my daughter I would want to know. It is always worse when you hide it. Your mom will be more upset if she figures it out on her own or from someone else. She may be upset at first, but only because she loves you and wants what is best for you. Having a child at 16 is not what is best, so she will go through a kind of grieving process -for the future she had hoped for you. But she won't stop loving you. She will probably quickly realize that this is reality, and become your best helper in getting ready for the baby and learning how to care for the baby. If you need any more advice or a listening ear, feel free to contact me.