Ask Me Help Desk - I'm 14, I need help, I think I'm pregnant.

I'm 14, I need help, I think I'm pregnant.

OK well, I'm 14 years old soon to be 15. I was on the depo provera shot and got off it. Now I'm taking birth control pills. I forget sometimes so I take them at different times but on the right day. When I got off the shot I didn't get on the pill for a few days and I had unprotected sex, this was like 4 weeks ago I got off the shot. 2 weeks ago I got on the pills so I had no protection for 2 weeks, and lately my vagina has been getting pains and my unterus feels very tight and hard and my belly looks bloated and when I stand up I get light headed a lot, but my lower abdomen has been getting some pains as well as my back, and I have this weird taste in my mouth and I get nausea but do not throw up. Do you think you could be pregnant?

Yes, pregnancy is possible.

The only way to diagnose pregnancy is with a urine test, a blood test, an ultrasound during later pregnancy, or giving birth.

Have you tried a pregnancy test?

No but I should proubly do that

Quote:

Originally Posted by chelseyboo142

No but I should proubly do that

That would be the next step.

I'm scared tho:( I don't know how to tell me mom

Chelsey, when you play grown up games you have to be prepared for the consequences. Telling your mom is just one of those consequences. She will be upset, of course, but she will get over it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chelseyboo142

I'm scared tho:( I don't know how to tell me mom

You had sex, now you think you might be pregnant. Obviously you knew that sex causes pregnancy. Instead of avoiding that risk, you had sex anyway. There's a reason why adults tell kids to abstain from sex, and this is it. I have yet to meet a child that is ready to be a parent.

There's an old saying "you made your bed, now you have to lay in it". You played adult games, and that means you have to face the adult consequences. Telling your mom about this is the least of your worries if you are in fact pregnant.

Sorry to be harsh, but that's reality. Welcome to being an adult, even though you're a child.

I knew what I was getting myself into when I did but luckily me and my boyfriend have been together for 10 months and he is very supportive,but my mom has threatened to send me somewhere if I got pregnant.where could she possibly send me though?

You have only been together 10 months. To a 14 year old like yourself, that is a lifetime. In reality it is but a drop in the bucket and not nearly enough time to form a real relationship.

He he is supportive now, but if you are pregnant his tune will change when friends and family put ideas in his head. Ideas like he may not be the father. It will happen, I can promise you that.

Where your mother send you is her choice. She could send you off to live with relatives. She could send you to a home for unwed mothers. Only she knows what her plans are if this is the case.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chelseyboo142

I knew what I was getting myself into when I did but luckily me and my boyfriend have been together for 10 months and he is very supportive,but my mom has threatened to send me somewhere if I got pregnant.where could she possibly send me though?

She could send you to boarding school, to a sanitarium, to relatives, put you in foster care. Lost of possibilities.

Oh, 10 months. That's forever! I'm sure he'll be around forever, and he'll drop out of school, find a great job (even though people with college degrees are having trouble finding work) and he'll support you and the baby. You can get a nice little house, and live happily ever after, and you can watch the pigs fly by while you're living in your dream world.

But really, let's talk reality. As soon as you find out you're pregnant, he'll be gone. Good luck getting child support. If he's the same age you are, he'll have a very hard time finding a job. Even if he does, it will only be part time since he's still in school. It's more likely that you'll never see a penny from him, and he won't have anything to do with you, or his kid. So be prepared that you'll likely be raising this baby on your own. Not easy to do, even for an adult with a college degree and a good job.

Your mommy is going to have to bail you out. She'll have to take on the financial burden of a child she didn't want, all because you wanted to play grownup games.

If you want to be an adult, live an adult life, then act like an adult.

Your right:(

Ok

Any advice for a possible teen mom? Please don't be rude.

Look at your options, abortion, adoption, and keeping your baby. Tell your parents. Make sure you have good prenatal care if you decide to carry the baby to term. Be prepared that most teen moms have complications during pregnancy, and birth, as do their babies. It can cost $12,000 plus to deliver a baby in the US, and that's if there aren't any life threatening complications.

If you decide to keep your baby, get a good job. Babies aren't cheap. You will need at least $1000 a month just for supplies and doctors visits, and that's if the baby is healthy and you're living expenses are covered by someone else.

Let's hope you are not pregnant and if you're not stop having sex. You are nowhere near equipped for motherhood.

If you are you are going to need the support of not only the father but the both your parents. Stay in school for as long as you can,
learn as much as you can about the care of a child, make sure you are getting financial support from the father
and stay away from sex until you are a working adult.

Don't put the cart before the horse. Find out if you are pregnant first.

All right.thanks.

There is another issue here that has to be mentioned. At 14 you are probably under the legal age of consent. That means your boyfriend could be facing statutory rape charges, jail and a permanent sex offender status. All because you thought you were grown up enough. I'm curious as to why you were on birth control in the first place.

You haven't told us the timing here. When did you have this sexual encounter? When was your last period when were you due?

Also, no one has asked, if she has missed her period, and if so, how many weeks late. You have to have missed your period, and be two week late before you do the pregnancy test.

Also do it first thing in the morning , first urine of the day

Good question Scott. I doubt very much that a 14 year old got the depo provera shot and then the pill, without her mother knowing. The only reason to be on that shot is to prevent pregnancy. So mommy must know that her daughter is sexually active. If not, who paid for the shot,and the pills?

I just assumed the boyfriend was the same age. I should know better than to assume.

So how old is the boyfriend?

My mother got me the shot as well as the pills,in the shot I had not period and the nurse said that when I started the pills I should start my period back but I just spotted a few times a week ago for a day and that's it

He is 16, but I'm almost 15

If your mother got you the shot, she should know you are sexually active. Why, then, is possible pregnancy so hard to discuss with her?

Because she mentioned if I got pregnant she would send me of, but also has mentioned she would be the one taking care of him/her.

Depending on where you live, it could be considered statutory rape. Meaning he could be prosecuted for raping you whether you consented.

You mou other is right. She would be the one taking care of the child because you aren't financially, emotionally, or mentally able to at your age.

Well I believe I'll focus on the positive rather than the negative

Quote:

Originally Posted by chelseyboo142

Well I believe I'll focus on the positive rather than the negative

What's the positive?

1)Body bounces back quicker 2) More on a mental wave length with the child
3) More energy to play with the children
4) Learning responsibility of your own actions
5) Learning to put others 1st
6) Less likely to have time to get into any trouble hanging around with bad influences

Quote:

Originally Posted by chelseyboo142

1)Body bounces back quicker 2) More on a mental wave length with the child
3) More energy to play with the children
4) Learning responsibility of your own actions
5) Learning to put others 1st
6) Less likely to have time to get into any trouble hanging around with bad influences

1. Wrong. You may get back to your post baby weight faster, but the strain you're putting on your body, a body that isn't ready to have a child, is far more than it is for an adult. So no, you won't bounce back quicker.

2. Ridiculous. I have yet to meet a teenager that can handle an infant. So you cry all night, don't understand logic, pee and poo in your pants, need 24/7 attention? If not, you're not on the same mental wave length.

3. LOL! No matter how young you are when you have a child, getting 2 or 3 hours of sleep a night, if you're lucky, will take its toll. No new mother has energy, no matter their age.

4. A baby shouldn't have to suffer for you to learn a lesson.

5. Again, a baby shouldn't have to suffer for you to learn that, and sadly it will because of your age.

6. The time to do that is before you have a baby. Also, you'll whine and cry until someone takes your child so that you can go out and have fun. Or you'll be bitter because you can't do the things normal teens do, and you'll take it out on the child. You're only 14! That's what 14 year olds do.

So again, what positives?

You are sounding like a 14 year old now. You may have more energy to play with a child but at 15/16 that is not going to be what you're going to want to be doing. What about your education? This will not be a picnic.

At this point I understand I did wrong,but I can't change it now,so yeah I'm going to grow up faster.I WILL take care of my child.yous can say what you want but I'm telling myself I can get through this and I will.you can tell me I'm a bad person you can tell me my life won't be the same.tell me all you want but I'll get through this my dad is watching over me in heaven.and my mom will be supportive.I'll get my education so I can give my child a good life.and no you don't know me as a person my child WILL come before anyone or anything

What about the answers to my questions?
Your positives are pipe dreams, grasping at straws to rationalize a bad situation. You may think you will do all those things. And you may, but the odds are against you.

There's nothing else left to do then to think positive.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chelseyboo142

There's nothing else left to do then to think positive.

The best positive thought you can have is to NOT be pregnant. You haven't answered our questions to even guess whether you may actually be pregnant.

If I knew any home aide pregnancy tests.

You go to a drugstore and you will find plenty on the shelves.

Still waiting for answers.

What answers r you waiting for

Have you actually missed a period?

Have had one when I was n the shot I had no period at all

If you wanted to be positive you would tell your mom and let her guide you through the process of finding out if you are pregnant or not. There's a right way to do things, and you have admitted yours was not, so it's time to do the right thing for yourself. That's where being positive, and learning your lesson should lead you.

Do the right thing and talk to your mom, as that's what's best for the possible child, even if you are afraid because you can only make a bad scary situation worse. You have to do more than think positive, you have to do positive. If you have the guts to sneak around and have sex to be an adult, have the guts to handle your business like one. Babies are serious business.

I will talk to my mom but as of now,I'm starting to think I have appendicitis:/

Quote:

Originally Posted by chelseyboo142

I will talk to my mom but as of now,I'm starting to think I have appendicitis:/

And, thinking that, you are going to do what?

Go to my doctor and get checked out