Ask Me Help Desk - He wants me to prove I love him.

He wants me to prove I love him.

Hi , I'm 15 and there's this guy who I've been dating for a year and 5 months (: We recently had a little break up but that didn't separate us at all. It actually made us A LOT closer and all, but now we're back on our let's get back together routine . Of course I'm super happy that my first love is asking to be back with me but he's asking me to prove and show that I truly love him. What do I do? I already told him in person how I felt, I made him posters, I've gone out and about but he still says prove it or show me. HELP!

Seriously, sounds like HE is the one with the issues and his insistence on these silly games just proves it.

You need to look deeper into matters and why he is making these childish demands.
I know you are both children, but you can't prove the intangible...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Curlyben

Seriously, sounds like HE is the one with the issues and his insistence on these silly games just proves it.

You need to look deeper into matters and why he is making these childish demands.
I know you are both children, but you can't prove the intangible...

So what are you saying I should do ?

Tell HIM to stop playing silly games with you.

What if I say that and it causes an argument

Than he clearly doesn't have the same feelings for you and isn't worth your time or effort..

Honestly that's how I feel some times but then I see him and its like it all goes aways and its only me and him in our ownlittle world :/

Maybe he is trying to get you to have sex with him, and that is no proof of love. He sounds like an immature creep.
Tell him he either believes or he doesn't. Why did you break up in the first place?

@homegirl50
We broke up because his ex which was my "friend" told him I cheated and told me he cheated so we got in an argument and broke up but I mean we still talked and everything than 2days later he came over and we talked about it in person

At 15 Its sex, when the sex wears off Its do this do that, by the time you live together Its about walking on eggshells doing what he likes. Then Its picking up after him. It never ends, gets more demanding and you lose YOU along the way. People that want you to orove yourself always want more and are self centered. You won't see it at first. So he makes you melt when you see him; go window shopping instead! When the chase wears off and grows old and rusty you will be asking what did I get myself into!

@ N0help4u

But if its sex why hasn't he ever tried it before ? Like he's had a year and 5months and barley tries it now ?

Why don't you ask him what it is he wants you to do to prove your love, then you'll have your answer.
He breaks up with you because his ex and your so called friend says you cheat and two days later you're back together, this is very immature stuff.
Like I said before he either believes you or he doesn't. If he wants more proof he needs to get lost and grow up.

Ask him what it is he wants you to do to prove love. Let me know and I can give you a good come back. But whether Its sex or washing his dirty laundry any guy that says proves is cause for alarm.

Trust me I've asked plenty of times and all he says is that's for you to prove to me .
And @ homegirl50 sorry that you think my relationship is immature.

I said he is immature and he is. The whole break up and prove your love to me thing is immature. As long as you are nice to this guy and respectful you are proving your love for him. If he can't see or understand that he is immature and you need to leave him alone. There will always be something wrong and he will always be asking for more.

And how does he "prove" his love to you?

You are 15, of course it's immature, and so is his wanting you to prove your love for him. Its an immature ploy to see how far you will go to keep him. This silly game is not love, it's a power struggle to get more than you can or want to give and if you fall for it, as you already have, he will ask for even more proof instead of appreciating what you have already done.

Maybe you cannot see the bad points of this because he is your first love, but because he is young and immature, and selfish, that doesn't mean YOU have to be. You found out that being friends with his conniving ex was a bad idea, and now you will find that taking silly crap from a first love is too. Yes its silly immature selfish crap, and that's not love, or caring is it?

I know, your heart wants what it wants but what does your brain say? First love or not, protect yourself from this selfish immature kid.

Power struggle-----BINGO!

I don't think mature people in a mature relatonship prove their love by either making or receiving posters (expressing that love).

You're in the relationship with him - ask him what he's talking about. I think he enjoys keeping you confused, off balance, guessing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I don't think mature people in a mature relatonship prove their love by either making or receiving posters (expressing that love).

I'm thinking a parade and marching bands or maybe bags of confetti released from the ceiling?

Do this:

Tell him that he's an idiot.

Tell him he needs to prove he loves you.

Tell him he's an idiot.

Seriously though... he's an idiot. You should never have to prove to anyone that you love them. The fact that you are scared that this may cause an argument shows me that he has you under his control... you feel you need to do this to keep everything peaceful and happy. You don't need to do this. If you are worried about causing an issue by not "proving" your love, then he is not worth your time.

I also agree with others... he wants sex. He told you to decide what you want to do but everything you did for him wasn't good enough... he's playing a game with you and until you can realize that a partner that respects you will not do such things, he will continue to do so.

You think he's 15 and he isn't :b I'm 15 he's 18 .

Quote:

Originally Posted by jackieelovee_

Ya'll think he's 15 and he isn't :b I'm 15 he's 18 .

That makes it even scarier. He is grooming you for sex and a life under his thumb.

Yep that's worse yet. And depending on your state law his proof may land him in jail.

"Ya'll think he's 15 and he isn't :b I'm 15 he's 18 ."

No, I'all think you're 15 acting like a 15 year old and he's 18 acting like a 15 year old. I think you are missing our points.

He's 18 and you gave him a poster to prove your love?

Where are your parents in this?

Maybe because poster giving is what's in right now . And thank you very much but my parents passed away in a car accident I live with my cousin who's 20 so she isn't much help .

Like he said you haven't figured it out. You haven't figures it out because you aren't thinking like an 18 year old male.

Thanks for the added information. He is definitely taking advantage of your young age, lack of guidance and support, and feelings for him, mostly your fear of losing him.

Protect yourself.

This guy is trying to get you to have sex with him. He is taking advantage of you and you need to leave him alone. This is bad news.

Proving it, is what older boys says, to get you to have sex. All he wants is sex and is saying if you don't have sex with him, you don't love him.

This is what they all say, nothing unsual about it.

And say if I want to just have sex with him how will that affect us ? Or me ? Is it a wrong thing ? Like after that long of us being together I think its time but how will it affect us ?

It stands a good chance of turning your life , your Baby's life,
And everyone around you into shambles.

There is no fool proof way of not getting pregnant except not having sex.
At 15 you are not ready. At 18 he should know better than to pressure you about sex unless he is selfish and immature and does not really care about you. If he did he would not act the way he does.

Sex does not prove love. Honest caring and concern for each other is a good indicator. He does not show this.

He isn't pressuring me though...

A lot of guys say they respect a girl more for waiting. A lot of times when guys get you to bed Its all downhill because they got what they wanted. There is a saying 'Why buy the cow when the milk is free.'

Quote:

Originally Posted by jackieelovee_

He isn't pressuring me though ...

Naw, no pressure just prove you love him. The oldest line in the book for guys to get in a girls pants and the only proof he will accept.

How did that poster idea work out for you?

Of course he is pressuring you, that is the entire "prove it" he is wanting you to say it is your idea

36 posts later my suspicions are confirmed - "And say if I wanna just have sex with him how will that affect us ?" So much for creating posters.

It's a sign of your level of maturity that you can't understand why sex and pregnancy at 15 are a very bad idea.

Be prepared for hearing a lot of "if you love me/want to "keep" me/want to be my girlfriend" you'll have sex with me if you're an average looking woman who dates.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jackieelovee_

He isn't pressuring me though ...

Sure he is. This is what all of this "prove your love for me" mess is about.
This guy is manipulating you and I'd venture to say if you get pregnant, he will be gone. You are not ready for sex or motherhood and this guy is in my opinion a jerk. You don't need a boyfriend or sex, you need an adult who is looking out for you and your best interest, who is aware of your dating this 18 year old.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jackieelovee_

And say if I wanna just have sex with him how will that affect us ? Or me ? Is it a wrong thing ? Like after that long of us being together I think its time but how will it affect us ?

Where are you? It could affect both of you pretty well if he goes to jail for having sex with you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jackieelovee_

He isn't pressuring me though ...

LMAO!! That's what this whole "prove" thing is all about! You are being pressured, you just are too naïve to see it.

I am concerned legally on several levels - a 20 year old cousin has custody of this 15 year old; the boyfriend has "come over" to the house to talk to her about their break up and reconciliation (so the cousin knows); OP can't see she's being groomed; boyfriend is apparently quite careful not to SAY "have sex with me or I'm leaving," which I suspect he THINKS means sex will be her suggestion and/on consensual (and, of course, he's wrong and will still go to jail).

Many warning signs -