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I'm a 16 year old girl and I have never been kissed or asked out and it is making me feel as if I am not normal. I don't get it I'm pretty, really smart, nice, fun, but I am shy. I need help everyone around me has boyfriends but me. What's wrong with me. I need advice on what to do. Please Help.
Be bold, you must make things happen in your life. But do not evaluate you self worth based on criteria such as whether you have a boyfriend. You have a family and friends and that is all you really need. Study, stay out of trouble, take care of yourself, and stay in shape. Ask your friend for help, get involved in activities at church or anywhere you might meet someone nice. You must show that you are interested, (learn how to flirt). There is no reason to be shy, you are just as good as anyone else.
Aw, babe, there's nothing wrong with you, some girls are late bloomers and some just want to start young, I'm 22, and I didn't know how to kiss or anything until I was 18. Sometimes guys are scared to approach a girl who they feel is out of their league, you said you're pretty and smart, that's pretty intimidating, if you like a guy, flirt with him, but don't over do it, and he'll come around, with time, you'll learn, and when you date and hang out, you'll learn even more, it's completely normal to feel awkward for being 16 and never have kissed a guy or what not, but you're still young, it's okay. Just keep your head up, be confident, get yourself out there and meet new people, it's hard when you're shy, but that's why you have a few close girlfriends, who'll break you in, good luck and I promise, you'll be dating like crazy soon
There's notthing wrong with you I never kissed anyone or dated anyone till I was 20 and it so happened that one guy I did have my first everything with is going to my husband in a few months
Don't act like a slut but act like you want a guy and that's basically how I know when to approachQuote:
Originally Posted by swimmer0714
Don't even worry about not having a boyfriend at 16. Honestly coming from a guy, almost all 16 year old boys are wayy too immature, and anybody who is mature enough to feel you like that is most likely seeing "JAILBAIT" written all over you. Its OK to be shy, the guy will come along. If you have a guy in mind, just become friends. If you feel safe enough to let him make a move on you, let him. Most 16 year old guys just want to have fun anyway so I'm sure it won't be a problem for themQuote:
Originally Posted by swimmer0714
Well all you need to do is don't be shy because people won't speak to u so start speaking OK chrisQuote:
Originally Posted by swimmer0714
Also I am 16 years old and I am singleas well don't worry OK u can speak to one of your friends and see what they sayQuote:
Originally Posted by swimmer0714
Smile to them don't worry speak to your friends I am 16:D :D :cool: :p
LIfe is very confusing at times... I find that you what maNY "GOOD" guys are looking for... Shy is a very good qualty to have means your clean... So the friends that you have might not like that your clean and maybe talk behind you so guys don't get involied... Theres a guy out there that looking for what you got and u'll find him when time comes... Right now don't worry out having a Boyfriend all he do is bring you down... Ur 16 look at colleges not in the mirror =) UR smart you should have seen that =)... Good LUck and there nothiing wrong with you its all the guys that looking for that quick hit and run STAy SAFE and God Bless Happy Easter
I know exactly what you mean I am the same age. I think the same when I am walking down the hallway and people are holding hands and kissing. I wonder what is wrong. I feel like a loser. But the same as what everyone else says, the right time will come. Until I got to high school nobody told me (that was in the same grade) how pretty I was. I dream about it. I guess I am the same way as you I would never ever ask out a guy! So I am in the same boat as you. I hope you will have luck.
Aw honey, there is nothing wrong with you!
I'm a 17 year old guy never kissed or anything.. I had a g/f for 3 days and she cheated on me the second and I found out.. I know where your coming from it does feel like there's something wrongi think the same things... few friends are like nothings wrong with you and I'm like well then why wouldent these people (girls I like) go out with me. And they "dont know" but I am also shy but trying to work on that... but I keep trying and after being rejected so many times it gets easyer to take nos from people.. but find a nicr guy who's not going to screw you and leave you.. also don't put out fast... guys like sex but I feel that its more specal if you wait a while till you trust the person
Well I'm 21... I never dated in high school... When I got out of high school I had my first boyfriend.. I was then 18... I never kissed a boy until I was 17... If I could do it all over again.. I don't think I would have rushed a relationship.. I rushed it because I wanted to see what it was like to have a boyfriend... Everyone made it seem like it was or is so much fun I use to feel so left out... We all go out to the movies and my friends had a boyfriend or girlfriend and I didn't... Dont get me wrong Its nice to have someone there or someone to talk to when you don't want to talk to anyone else... but Its not what its all cracked up to be.. I mean don't get me wrong I love him to death and I don't know what I would do without him but it all could have waited.. I met him in Sept. and that's when I was suppose to go to college but I didn't because all I wanted to do is be with him... I had put college on the back burner... I look at it now and I think to myself like man I could have been in college for 3 years already have one more year to go and get out making good money... But its not his fault I wanted to be up his 24/7... Everything happens for a reason... Now he kind of put me in my place... But honey don't rush it... When it happens it will happen... GOOD LUCK!
Quote:
Originally Posted by klimlor
Well if you're a good guy like you claim to be and im pretty sure you are... you are going to find yourself a nice girl... dont rush it... you guys are two young... it seems like its such a great thing (which sometimes it is) but the headaches and heartaches aren't... take your time... wait til your out of school... just focus on school, work, and your family you have the rest of your life for a girlfriend..
Why worry?
RElax... it'll come when the time will be right
Hey, I know exactly how you feel, I am just the same, never ever been kissed or asked out NEVER and I just don't get it. I dress nice and I always thought I was pretty but for some reason I just can't seem to attract people in the way I want to!! Its frustrating because when I like somebody I just don't ever know what to do!! If u want to chat reply to this and ill give you my email!!Quote:
Originally Posted by swimmer0714
You should see this as a good thing for you. For guys especially during their teenage years, they don't understand how to control approach anxiety. Typically, the girls that get asked out, and start becoming sexually active first all have one thing in common. They're responsive to the guys. This initiates some level of comfort to be built for the attraction.
You're not doing anything wrong and to some you are more desirable for this character trait. However, if you want to let loose of your wild side, show responsiveness. Kinesthetic touch is usually the easiest way to initiate comfort, also called Kino, usually reserved for guys on girls, but when you're talking to a guy that you like, show signs of interest.
Any guy would like to build a stable relationship with any girl at high school. You just have to understand that as a female you have the power of selection, which means you can be picky. And use that to your advantage.
Also enlargen your social circle, meet new people. The high school world can appear so small when you hang out in the same circle of friends forever. There's a clear line between being labeled a slut and just a pimpcess, learn how to play your cards right.
And the biggest thing in my opinion is feeling comfortable in your own skin. This is hard especially when you're body starts going through changes (don't I sound like your mother). But when you feel comfortable in your own skin, you project much better body language clues. This also allows for guys to build comfort around you. Its very hard to read your body language, when you're self conscious.
Hun, relax!
Look, I am 23, never had a boyfriend, never kissed.
I never regret not having a boyfriend, it's good for you, trust me.
That way you focus more on school and work. Wait until the boys grow more mature;)
For someone who's never had a boyfriend or kissed, you sure do write a lot of responses in the dating and relationships category. :-DQuote:
Originally Posted by nicespringgirl
Yes, I sure do. I learn from others and I think my clear mind would help people in mad love.Quote:
Originally Posted by theprodigy06
I also learn from every case in this forum, that will sure help me be successful in my future relationship.
But the mating game is all about instinct and intuition. Why make the process anymore mechanical, and systematic than it should be? Advice is one subject of matter, but theory serves no purpose in social interaction.Quote:
Originally Posted by nicespringgirl
I think you should step away from the forums and find yourself in situations. I promise you'll be giving much better advice ;) .
Don't blame yourself, its not you, its us. Pick a few nice boys to built comfort around, and constantly attempt to meet new people. Don't let your shyness get the best of you. Just remember to feel comfortable in your own skin, don't be self-conscious, and SHOW that you're open. Otherwise, how can you expect for adolescent boys to approach you when you show negative body language, let alone grow attracted to you if they can't be comfortable around you.Quote:
Originally Posted by swimmer0714
I couldn't even make the move for my first kiss, the girl made the move. I didn't think of her as a slut for doing so. And I didn't have too much interest in the girl. But it was a clear sign she had interest in me. If you establish a certain level of comfort, the guy will not show any sign of discomfort and play along.
That's the main thing I've noticed with girls in high school and older women, body language. And guys really react to body language more so than any other form of communication, so work at it. Loosen up, and don't worry, the true keepers are the ones who didn't lose their virginity till after high school (in my experience)
I see what you mean, I am planning on getting well established before I start dating.Quote:
Originally Posted by theprodigy06
My focus might be different from most of my peers, I am more career oriented, and I am following my direction that's all.
Do you think there is some adive I gave not proper? I like to hear that.
Well I wouldn't be able to tell you if you gave any improper advice (nice way of saying, I haven't read any of them). And I think its also great that a young lady can relate to an entreprenuerial figure who will be successful. But in the dating game, (this is particular to people with intellectual ability) too many people picture the perfect relationship, on paper. If anyone can say their first relationship was successful, they're lying to themselves, or they're extremely lucky. Being career oriented is one thing, but building and maintaining relationships contribute a lot to career building because you pick up a lot on interaction and socializing.Quote:
Originally Posted by nicespringgirl
Remember its not supercomputers behind the hiring process at any company. Its PEOPLE.
I don't have a college degree, and I'm young. But I've found placement as a software architect working side by side with college graduates holding Master's Degrees and I'm still running the show here.
Lol, I deal with people everyday, I travel for business, I work with mostly men. I have great social skills and outgoing personality that puts me into a very competitive job position.Quote:
Originally Posted by theprodigy06
There is culture difference here, asians that move to the US are more focused on getting well established and then build a strong family. U will see other asians just like me.
P.S. I will start look for a house before I look for a man.;)
Actually my parents are asians just like you. I was born and raised here but my parents are from Korea. I see that they're focused on being successful, however the main reason I drew my own path down life is simply because of the fact that they were not able to enjoy life. I still see a little bit of my parents in me, where I find myself stressed on work, but if there's one lesson I learned in life, is to develop social skills. My parents quickly found themselves drenched in a 7 day work schedule, struggling to deal with their marriage (the word "deal" is exactly the word to describe how they spend their time together), always attempting to do more than meet ends, finally end up stressing themselves out.Quote:
Originally Posted by nicespringgirl
But its rude to stomp out a 16 year old girl's question and start carrying on our own conversation in the middle. Let's return to helping out our younger reader, and if you want to carry on this conversation, I have a private message box waiting.
Lol, I was helping her! I said wait until the boys around getting more mature! And simply give her a real life example that would smooth her, not worried about it, there is someone older than she is that not done this yet.
I was talking to her!
Did you think I was replying on your question?If I didn't make it clear, my fault.
Sorry if there is any miscommunication.
I was exactly telling her what to do... geez.
Never mind... sorry... I misread this time. :D
Lol, good to see asians here, thank you for your concern, I am not stressed, I have found inner peace and as I said I travel for business, how bad is that?;)
I do lots of fun stuff on weekends and I was playing gold with co workers before I got on this forum.
Don't worry, good to meet you.
No offensive, and I am off from the soap box now.:P
Im almost 21 and have not kissed a girl either,its eating me alive and Im not even bad looking! JohnQuote:
Originally Posted by sally_sally
I'm a 16 year old female and I'm the same way I've never dated or been kisssed of any nof that by I seem to have a couple really close guy fiends I like being single until I start to feel lonely then it can both me a bit
If u haven't been asked out just ask out the guy u like he might say yes
Well this is natural, I will recommend you to be more active in skool and less worried about getting your first kiss or boyfriend because 1-lik digy06 said most 16 year old boyz are immature and 2-in life, ders time for everythin so trust me don't worry, enjoy this years and you will c that everythin you desire will come up sooner or later... stay in skool... lolz... good luk in life
There's nothing wrong with you at all! It will happen when you least expect it and when you stop worrying about finding someone, so just go along and have a good time with everyone. If you find a guy that you would like to get to know a bit better make it known and put the possibility out there. From my experience there are a lot of guys looking for clean, shy (but confident) girls.
Yeah, I'm just not going to worry about and in the end it will be fine
Hi,come on.What are you worry about!Enjoy having no one.Because it will not last so long.I also did not have anybody date me before I was 17.But after 17 there always one but just not always who you want.Don't worry take this time to improve yourself.Good love always come later
I turn sixteen in a couple days and I'm in the same boat. I've never been kissed or ANYTHING by a guy. I don't know how many others at my school are in my boat but I know how you feel. We got to hang in there and hope that no one asks if we've ever had a boyfriend. My advice is to know that it will happen and don't beat yourself up about it. We've got our whole lives ahead of us. ;)
You can have all the answers you want- we have a crew of guy & girls that you can say things the way you want. Once we know you are really a 16 year old girl (OUR AGE) and not a 75 year old dude.. . We will e-mail you all you want . Strat6string at Yahoo we can share pictures and you can talk to girls or guys or all of us we have webcam on msn or just e-mail
You just need to get use to talking without being scared.
It's fine.. I did not date until I was 18
Hey darl
I know how you feel, but trust me it will happen. Im 16 and had no boyrfiends or anything until this year, and now I've had the interest of 7 guys. (But I only dated 2) Do you like anyone? If you do, then pursue him. The worst that can happen is rejection and its not that bad... everyone goes through it at some point. You just need to get out there and into the game. Its like a circle, you have to break into it and then once you are in it all just happens. I'm sure lots of guys have noticed you but are too scared. Just flirt and practice and be bold. But remember, you are not old. Plenty of girls your age have had no experience. Also, don't wish away being single. Its fun. Having a boyfriend isn't all its cracked up to be but I do understand wanting one. Txting and msn is the easiest way to flirt when you are starting, and when you are together just laugh and touch (playfully, like a soft punch or hug or piggy back.) Its all meant to be fun!! Good luck!
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