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-   -   I feel hurt and I'm always crying (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=694731)

  • Aug 17, 2012, 03:58 PM
    malinic100
    I feel hurt and I'm always crying
    Today I was invited to my friends house for a sleepover, and they hadn't called to say I could come and I really wanted to call and ask but my mom wouldn't let me. I asked her again but she said no. Then I got mad at my sister for something and went to my room, and finally they called and said hey were coming to pick me up. So then my mom got really mad because 'i kept on insisting on it' and hen I started to cry because she was yelling a lot and I couldn't go. She usually just says that to my sister but she always gets to go anyway, but hen she sent me to my room and told my friend I wasn't coming. And now I'm a mess and she always does this. I know I'm really sensitive but she's the one who always make me feel like just crying and dissappering. Please help I'm always crying and sad because of her
  • Aug 17, 2012, 04:06 PM
    Wondergirl
    Why were you hounding your mom to call them? If I were Mom, I'd be angry with the flip-flopping going on.
  • Aug 17, 2012, 04:11 PM
    malinic100
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Why were you hounding your mom to call them? If I were Mom, I'd be angry with the flip-flopping going on.
    I do feel sorry for hounding her, but she told me I should wait, and thirty minutes later I asked her if I could just check and that's all. I asked about it once. And just now I went to apologize and told her that I was really sorry but she just kept on saying I could cry all I want and it's too late and nobody likes me and that the family hates me anyway.
  • Aug 17, 2012, 04:13 PM
    Wondergirl
    She really said "nobody likes me and that the family hates me anyway" or did you just throw that in? That doesn't sound like her.
  • Aug 17, 2012, 04:16 PM
    malinic100
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    She really said "nobody likes me and that the family hates me anyway" or did you just throw that in? That doesn't sound like her.
    I said I only get upset so much because all of you guys are constantly hurting me

    Then she said we all don't like you, you can ask your brother, your sister, or your dad

    Trust me I'm not joking or just throwing it in. That's exactly what she said
  • Aug 17, 2012, 04:19 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    Sorry you are making this 1/2 up and playing a drama queen.

    Of course you did not deserve to go. You hounded your mom and she said no, then you still bothered her, and acted like a baby crying in your room.

    Perhaps it is time to act more mature and you will get treated that way
  • Aug 17, 2012, 04:22 PM
    Wondergirl
    Please ask your mom to come to the computer so we can ask her some questions.
  • Aug 17, 2012, 04:24 PM
    malinic100
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    sorry you are making this 1/2 up and playing a drama queen.

    Of course you did not deserve to go. You hounded your mom and she said no, then you still bothered her, and acted like a baby crying in your room.

    Perhaps it is time to act more mature and you will get treated that way
    Obviously you don't know a lot of this. The reason I cry so much is because they are constantly putting me down and it comes so quickly I can't even try to stop myself. And I only asked her one more time and I feel like she hates me. I've tried to be better and she hasn't even thought about being nicer to me. And I seek help, not to be called names
  • Aug 17, 2012, 04:26 PM
    malinic100
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Please ask your mom to come to the computer so we can ask her some questions.
    No, I'm sorry but she doesn't even know I'm asking this question. She won't talk to me and she said I have to stay in my room. If there's anything you could ask her I could answer as honestly as it is. But she would just laugh or kill me if I told her I'm asking people for help.
  • Aug 17, 2012, 04:29 PM
    Wondergirl
    You want help? All we can do is advise you to be more mature and stop crying. Crying, complaining, saying your parents hate you all make you sound very immature, like a little kid who hasn't gotten her way.
  • Aug 17, 2012, 04:34 PM
    malinic100
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    You want help? All we can do is advise you to be more mature and stop crying. Crying, complaining, saying your parents hate you all make you sound very immature, like a little kid who hasn't gotten her way.
    I try so hard not to cry but I can't help it. When my parents yell, I automatically start to cry and when I straighten up and top crying they just make me feel worse. And I'm not saying they hate me, but at times it feels like they don't see the good things that I've done, in fact, when I do something good or mature a lot of the times they'll point it out for siblings but not for me. It's only the bad things. And the other day when I asked my mom what was actually good about me she said nothing. She said exactly that.
  • Aug 17, 2012, 04:37 PM
    Wondergirl
    Tell us what's good about you.
  • Aug 17, 2012, 04:41 PM
    malinic100
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Tell us what's good about you.
    Well she never notices that even though I mess up a lot, I'm always trying to fix it, and I hate when someone's mad at me so I always apologize which everyone else in my family never does, and no matter what I always care about people, and my mom never sees that because she's too busy yelling at me about everything. Which she always finds stupid things to get mad about
  • Aug 17, 2012, 04:43 PM
    Wondergirl
    What do you do specifically to show you care about people?
  • Aug 17, 2012, 04:46 PM
    malinic100
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    What do you do specifically to show you care about people?
    Well honestly I can't think of anything I do. But I wish my mom would know that all the times I mess up and she gets mad, they're not intentional, and I would do anything for her to forgive me.
  • Aug 17, 2012, 04:48 PM
    Wondergirl
    What do you do that you consider "messing up"?
  • Aug 17, 2012, 04:52 PM
    malinic100
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    What do you do that you consider "messing up"?
    Well whenever my mom gets mad she thinks I did something wrong. Sometimes I don't answer my phone, or I forgot to do something, there's so many things. But I always apologize and try not to do it again, although sometimes I do, but she just gets mad about everything it's hard to keep track and try not to do every little thing she says. And it's not like I keep on doing bad things, they're just honest mistakes everyone makes.
  • Aug 17, 2012, 04:54 PM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by malinic100 View Post
    Today I was invited to my friends house for a sleepover, and they hadn't called to say I could come and I really wanted to call and ask but my mom wouldn't let me. I asked her again but she said no. Then I got mad at my sister for something and went to my room, and finally they called and said hey were coming to pick me up. So then my mom got really mad because 'i kept on insisting on it' and hen I started to cry because she was yelling a lot and I couldn't go. She usually just says that to my sister but she always gets to go anyway, but hen she sent me to my room and told my freind i wasn't coming. And now I'm a mess and she always does this. I know I'm really sensitive but she's the one who always make me feel like just crying and dissappering. Please help I'm always crying and sad because of her

    What? What did getting "mad" at your sister involve?

    Sounds like you were being difficult all the way around.
  • Aug 17, 2012, 04:57 PM
    malinic100
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    What? What did getting "mad" at your sister involve?

    Sounds like you were being difficult all the way around.
    Nothing I really my mom just heard me fighting with her and assumed I was just yelling at everyone... But I wasn't yelling. She said I was a bully but I know for sure I'm not. If anything my mom is bullying me
  • Aug 17, 2012, 05:00 PM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by malinic100 View Post
    Nothing I really my mom just heard me fighting with her and assumed I was just yelling at everyone... But I wasn't yelling. She said I was a bully but I know for sure I'm not. If anything my mom is bullying me

    It's her house. She gets to be the bully.

    Somehow I think you brought this on yourself.

    If you're always crying and sad because your mother is a bully, call Child Protective Services, report the "bullying" and ask to be removed from the house.

    I notice that you seem to have unlimited computer use, unusual in abused children.
  • Aug 17, 2012, 05:02 PM
    malinic100
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    It's her house. She gets to be the bully.

    Somehow I think you brought this on yourself.
    What do you mean? And how can I tell her how I feel. I've already told her how I feel but she just said that everyone doesn't like me anyway.
  • Aug 17, 2012, 05:12 PM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by malinic100 View Post
    What do you mean? And how can i tell her how I feel. I've already told her how I feel but she just said that everyone doesn't like me anyway.

    I mean it sounds like you behaved like a spoiled brat. You were invited to a sleepover with no follow up, you wanted to call and invite yourself, your mother told you not to do that, you kept asking, you and your sister got into an argument. I don't think that's terribly complicated.

    Maybe if you would stop crying, sit down and behave like an adult she'd be more understanding.

    If this is true - and I doubt it ("I was really sorry but she just kept on saying I could cry all I want and it's too late and nobody likes me and that the family hates me anyway") call CPS and report the abuse. If you're lucky you'll be put in foster care and won't have to deal with any more bullying.

    I can't imagine all of this chaos over a missed sleepover.

    The response, "everyone doesn't like [you] anyway" seems odd when your statement is "I think you bullying me, and that makes me unhappy."

    This appears to be teen-age angst in a world full of serious problems.

    Here's a thought - get a job. Find somewhere to volunteer. Assist a neighbor. Go and help at the local library. Do something for someone else and it will take your mind off you.
  • Aug 17, 2012, 05:19 PM
    malinic100
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    I mean it sounds like you behaved like a spoiled brat. You were invited to a sleepover with no follow up, you wanted to call and invite yourself, your mother told you not to do that, you kept asking, you and your sister got into an argument. I don't think that's terribly complicated.

    Maybe if you would stop crying, sit down and behave like an adult she'd be more understanding.

    If this is true - and I doubt it ("I was really sorry but she just kept on saying I could cry all I want and it's too late and nobody likes me and that the family hates me anyway") call CPS and report the abuse. If you're lucky you'll be put in foster care and won't have to deal with any more bullying.

    I can't imagine all of this chaos over a missed sleepover.

    The response, "everyone doesn't like [you] anyway" seems odd when your statement is "I think you bullying me, and that makes me unhappy."

    This appears to be teen-age angst in a world full of serious problems.

    Here's a thought - get a job. Find somewhere to volunteer. Assist a neighbor. Go and help at the local library. Do something for someone else and it will take your mind off of you.
    I want to correct a few things. They said I could come, and I wanted to call and ask when I should be there. And I would never want to go in foster care I just want to sort it out. And this has been happening a lot, but if I reported anything, my mom would kill me.

    And as for a job, I'm only 12 and I've tried but there's nothing I can do. And it's hard to do things with friends because my mom will never let me go so much. Maybe like once a week... I guess school is coming but still.


    Thanks for your help
  • Aug 17, 2012, 05:21 PM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by malinic100 View Post
    I want to correct a few things. They said I could come, and I wanted to call and ask when I should be there. And I would never want to go in foster care I just want to sort it out. And this has been happening a lot, but if I reported anything, my mom would kill me.

    And as for a job, I'm only 12 and I've tried but there's nothing I can do. And it's hard to do things with friends because my mom will never let me go so much. Maybe like once a week... I guess school is coming but still.


    Thanks for your help

    You can volunteer - have you looked into volunteering?

    Again, your mom would "kill" you? Why don't you stop being so over the top and tell us what's going on?
  • Aug 17, 2012, 05:27 PM
    malinic100
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    You can volunteer - have you looked into volunteering?

    Again, your mom would "kill" you? Why don't you stop being so over the top and tell us what's going on?
    One time my brother called 912 because my mom was being mean to him in a way he thought was dangerous, so he tried to freak her out by calling 912 instead of 911. So the police still came and they both got really mad at my brother. I don't think it's necessary to report her, I just want to find a way to talk to her in which she will actually listen. And I could volunteer but I'd have to have an adult with me. My older sister couldn't even volunteer until 15 around here. Plus she'd have to drive me here. But I will try to be more mature. It's just hard when they don't notice at all.
  • Aug 17, 2012, 05:33 PM
    JudyKayTee
    Then stop crying, stop overreacting, stop fighting with your sister, act like you can handle responsibility, sit down and talk to her.

    This makes no sense to me: "Today I was invited to my friends house for a sleepover, and they hadn't called to say I could come ..."

    You were invited but were waiting for an invitation? I'm sure your mother sees the same things I'm seeing.
  • Aug 17, 2012, 05:35 PM
    malinic100
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    Then stop crying, stop overreacting, stop fighting with your sister, act like you can handle responsibility, sit down and talk to her.

    This makes no sense to me: "Today I was invited to my friends house for a sleepover, and they hadn't called to say I could come ..."

    You were invited but were waiting for an invitation? I'm sure your mother sees the same things I'm seeing.
    I will try to talk to her. And they said I could come, but I just wanted to know what TIME I should've been there.
  • Aug 17, 2012, 05:41 PM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by malinic100 View Post
    I will try to talk to her. And they said I could come, but I just wanted to know what TIME I should've been there.

    This has turned into a chat site - I'm gone.
  • Aug 18, 2012, 08:36 AM
    KomalShahid
    Awwwhh you are so cute :) please don't be sad . When we are teen we always think that everybody hates us and nobody loves us . Just because we are teens and no one can understand what we are feeling. But rememeber she is your mom she still loves you and if she is forbiding you from something just listen to her :) and u can be calm and nice and ask her again about something :)
  • Aug 18, 2012, 08:39 AM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by KomalShahid View Post
    awwwhh you are so cute :) please dont be sad . when we are teen we always think that everybody hates us and nobody loves us . just because we are teens and no one can understand what we are feeling. but rememeber she is your mom she still loves you and if she is forbiding you from something just listen to her :) and u can be calm and nice and ask her again about something :)

    What do you think about this thread is "cute"?
  • Aug 18, 2012, 09:43 AM
    malinic100
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    What do you think about this thread is "cute"?
    Yes honestly this is not cute but thanks for being supportive. I didn't get to go but I talked to my mom. The only thing that still bugs me is that she still said that I am having bad behavior. So then I said I know and I'm sorry, and she didn't know but I was actually trying to change and be better, and that it wasn't just me who should be changing. But she just said I wasn't trying and I was the only one who needed to change, which isn't true at all. Earlier this year she admitted she should stop with all her anger!
  • Aug 18, 2012, 09:47 AM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by malinic100 View Post
    Yes honestly this is not cute but thanks for being supportive. I didn't get to go but I talked to my mom. The only thing that still bugs me is that she still said that I am having bad behavior. So then I said I know and I'm sorry, and she didn't know but I was actually trying to change and be better, and that it wasn't just me who should be changing. But she just said I wasn't trying and I was the only one who needed to change, which isn't true at all. Earlier this year she admitted she should stop with all her anger!

    I guess the only thing you can do is continue to display changed behavior, your ability and attempts to change.

    Actions do speak louder than words.

    In re-reading this your mother sounds overwhelmed. Is she a single parent?
  • Aug 18, 2012, 09:59 AM
    Wondergirl
    If you stop the childish and bad behavior, your mom won't have any reason to be angry any more.
  • Aug 18, 2012, 11:13 AM
    malinic100
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    I guess the only thing you can do is continue to display changed behavior, your ability and attempts to change.

    Actions do speak louder than words.

    In re-reading this your mother sounds overwhelmed. Is she a single parent?
    No, but she's sort of always been like this
  • Aug 18, 2012, 11:17 AM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by malinic100 View Post
    No, but she's sorta always been like this

    Where's your father in all of this? If my mother was upset with me my father always made sure I knew he wasn't happy with me either.
  • Aug 18, 2012, 11:39 AM
    malinic100
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    Where's your father in all of this? If my mother was upset with me my father always made sure I knew he wasn't happy with me either.
    Well he's at work and he usually stays out of it. My dads usually the only one who is nice to me when my mom is like that

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