Im 13 and lost my virginity to a very close friend and ever since then I have regretted it... he didn't pressure me but I was really nervous
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Im 13 and lost my virginity to a very close friend and ever since then I have regretted it... he didn't pressure me but I was really nervous
You made a choice, and you now have to live with that choice. Seems to me like you didn't want to in the first place, actions speak louder than words sweetheart and regretting it says you really didn't want to.
What the heck are you doing having sex anyway? Are you ready to have a child? Do you parents know that you're having sex? Are they okay with it? You need to sit down with your parents and explain to them what's going on. What happens if you go and do it again and get pregnant, what will you do then? Your parents deserve to know.
I am ready to have a child and no my parents don't know... and I did want to
What do you mean you are ready to have a child. You're 13. How would you support a child? How old was the boy?
Older than me and I just know that I'm ready to take care of a child
I had sex and I think I'm pregnant,my stomach hurts I'm emotional I'm tender in my upper woman area... I haven't got my period this month... I am afraid to buy a pregnancy test because the people here know my family and might tell if I go buy.one plus I think I'm too young to buy them... btw I'm 13
And what do you plan to do during the next eight months while your baby grows inside you, if you are indeed pregnant? It won't go away, you know. It's time to sit down and have a talk with your parents.
How much older than you? Old enough that he can go to jail?
Does he have a full time job, because he will need one to support a family. You are obviously still in middle school or just starting high school so I know you don't have a job.
The fact that you think you are ready to have a child at 13 is proof that you're not. You don't have a clue. You are still a child yourself.
I have merged these two threads.
How long ago did you have sex?
He already told me that if I get pregnant then only the kid can know he is the dad and I'm okay with no one knowing because in my familys eyes its wrong he is my cousin
It doesn't work this way. An adult (or two or three) will have to know what is going on. You will have to take special vitamins and have regular doctor visits. A lot can go wrong during the pregnancy and birth, so the father's medical history has to be known. Legally and morally, you have to tell who the father is.Quote:
Originally Posted by deadchild
How old is he? You don't think with the child calling him dad, no one else is going to figure that out? Girl you are way too young and immature for the mess you have gotten yourself into. I hope you are not pregnant.
What are you going to tell your parents? I guess they will be responsible for supporting this baby you say you are ready to have.
My kid won't call him dad and I already know his medical history he has diabetes and I have an adult that I can twll and she will help me till I am ready to.tell my mom cause her 16 15
My kid won't call him dad and I already know his medical history he has diabetes and I have an adult that I can tell and she will help me till I am ready to.tell my mom cause her 16 and 15 yr old girls are pregnant and he is 17
So who are you going to say is the father when your parents ask?
How old is this boy, and who is this adult who will be helping you keep this information from your parents?
Who is going to support this baby, if in fact you are pregnant? When are you going to go to the doctor?
You have no clue what you and this boy have gotten yourselves into.
When did you have sex and when was your last period?
This boy can go to jail for having sex with you. Do you realize that?
My last period was I think in April and I had sex in like the first of may and haven't had my period since and I'm not going to tell them anything about the dad... and the one that will help me is a really close family friend that won't tell and she can take me to the doctor and I can support it I have a bunch of baby stuff and a lot of money saved
Do you have health insurance to pay all the doctor visits and hospital bills? Do you have at least $10,000 saved for the first year, to pay for baby furniture, baby clothes, well-baby doctor visits, etc.
How much money do you think is a lot? Who is going to pay the doctor fees and hospital bill?
So this 17 year old boy does not need to contribute at all to the care of this child?
If this woman is a close friend of the family, I don't see how in good conscience she can keep this from your parents. Are you going to live with her?
What this boy did to you is considered statutory rape and he can go to jail.
Are you ready financially to care for a baby? Is there insurance in place to pay for delivery and hospital care. You may think you are able, but at 13 may not be physically ready.Quote:
Originally Posted by deadchild
I have $600 in a bank account and I have insuranc... and I have over $4000 worth of baby items furniture,clothes,bottles,bibs,etc
Health insurance on your own or under your parents' name?
Girl, I really hate to yell at you but you need to wake up and smell the coffee. You haven't a clue what you are doing.Quote:
Originally Posted by deadchild
1) At 13 your body may not be developed enough to give birth. This means there could be serious complications in delivering this child for both you and the child. You could die giving birth. It is a very real risk
2) Depending on where you live your doctor may be required to inform your parents of your pregnancy. While you control what you do with the child, your parents are financially responsible for you.
3) It is estimated that it costs about $15,000 for the first year of a baby's life and over $250,000 until they reach 18. That $15,000 figure does not include the costs of giving birth, which can be up to $10,000. So your $600 with be gone in the first month or two on formula and diapers! And even if you have crib and some clothes and equipment, they may be too old for current standards. And you will need so much more.
4) Of course your cousin doesn't want you to tell anyone. He is afraid of going to jail. He RAPED you. It doesn't matter whether you consented or not, you are under legal age so its RAPE!
Bottom line is you need to tell your parents NOW! You need to get examined by a doctor NOW! If you are pregnant, you need to do it NOW for the sake of the baby's health. Please pay attention to the advice we are giving, we care about you and more, we care about this baby you are trying to bring into the world. GET HELP NOW!
Where are you storing all this baby stuff so your parents don't see it?
I suspect its her baby stuff from when she was a baby or maybe a younger sibling. If its hers, much of it will be out of date and unusable.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
I think it is stored in her mind, or this adult (who she claims is a friend of the family and will help her until she is ready to tell fer family) has things.
I wonder if the adult who is helping her knows the father is her 17 year old cousin.
Oh my god, this kid is in for the rudest awakening anyone could ever have. Her father will find out who the father is, because he will DEMAND to know. Once he finds out, your whole family tree is going to be shaking so hard the leaves of the one beside it are going to fall off, and whether you like it or not, your cousin will be going to jail.
A 13 year old saying she can raise a child? Give me a break. ScottGem, your wrote the words right out of my mouth, excellent post I wish I could thumb that one up about 20 times, but of course...
Oops! You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to ScottGem again.
All I have to say, is good luck young one, and for your sake I hope you're not pregnant and you learn a valuable lesson from this. I also hope that 17 year old goes to jail, so he can learn a valuable lesson as well.
Baby Cost Calculator | Tools | BabyCenter
Here's a good way to see how far that 600 will get you.
I disagree with this. The father can't compel her to tell. But the law may, especially if she wants to keep the child. The courts will say, if she doesn't tell who the father is, they will take the child away. Or they will order DNA testing for every male she has been in contact with around the possible time of conception if she doesn't tell. If she thinks she can keep this a secret, she is fooling herself. But then that seems to be par for the course.Quote:
Originally Posted by C0bra_M3nace
Good link, I went through that and lowballed everything and still came up with over $5000. And that still doesn't take into account the cost of delivery, Doctors visits, etc.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tallyman29
This girl is living in la la land.
He will demand, and I doubt a little 13 year old has the will power to deny it more than a few times. Just my view on it, I don't know her, maybe she does.Quote:
Originally Posted by ScottGem
Im not living in lala land I know what to do how to do it and my dad is dead so he won't demand anything... im really going through a lot right now and I asked for help not for perfect strangers to yell at me for something that I did and regret... I won't have a whole lot to lose and my friends and family will help me a lot so I would basically just need to love the kid that's good enough for me
Your father was still alive at 10:52 this morning, according to my computer's time stamp on your post.Quote:
Originally Posted by deadchild
You have said in your family's eyes this will be wrong, so what family are going to get support from, or are you going to lie to them about who the father is. What young man are you going to blame this on?Quote:
Originally Posted by deadchild
You are not thinking this through. You are perpetrating a lie and this will not have a good outcome. Is this cousin of yours just going to stand around and watch others support this child and just move on? Or maybe since he has gotten away with this once, why not do it again.
You need to tell your parents about this so that you can get the proper help you are surely going to need, and this boy needs to be held accountable for what he has done.
Quote:
Originally Posted by deadchild
Nice try kiddo.
I'm done answering, this little brat has gotten more than enough helpful advice and doesn't even seem to be getting any of it. Now she's trying to guilt trip me. I wish you the best sweetheart, I really do.
I have a stepdad dumb*** my real dad is dead he.died when I was 5
I still don't see why that comment was even necessary. Either way, I'm out.Quote:
Originally Posted by deadchild
PS: In 9 months, come on back and tell us how well everything is going, and all the love and support your "friends" and "family" are giving you. I'm quite curious.
That was unnecessary. In your original post you said parents, you did not say mom and step dad. When he mentioned your dad he was assuming your dad as in "my parents" dad.Quote:
Originally Posted by deadchild
No need to be rude just because you don't like the advice.
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