Ask Me Help Desk - Unprotected sex ahhhhh!

Unprotected sex ahhhhh!

Hi, before you guys start with the lectures, I know having unprotected sex is stupid and irresponsible, but it happened:/ anyway, me and my boyfriend have been together for quite a while and we decided we were going to have sex one night. We had unprotected sex and he came inside me. We did that a few times that night. Then we did it 3 days later again, same conditions, and he came again:/ I did the math, and it was about 2 weeks after I had my period, give or take a few days. I know I should just wait until my next period is due but its driving me crazy and I just want to know what the odds are that I'm pregnant. Please help

The odds are pretty good. You not only had unprotected sex, but you had unprotected sex during what is the most fertile time for most women.

Now you have to play the waiting game. If you're religious, I suggest you start praying. The odds really aren't in your favor, unless you're trying to conceive.

How old are you and what do you consider quite a while?

As Alty said you had multiple instances of unprotected sex during a likely fertile time. So the odds favor being pregnant. I hope if you dodge this bullet you will have lerned your lesson and stop your stupid and irresponsible behavior.

If you're not on birth control, and you are fertile. You've probably got yourself a baby. Sometimes you learn your lesson, but this isn't something that should be learnt the hard way. I would strongly suggest talking to your parents, this isn't something to play around with at a young age. I am assuming you're a teenager, posting in the Teens section.

Im 16 and not on birth control, thanks for the help guys, altys right just going to have to play the waiting game:(

We've been together for 4 months, coming up to 5

Frankly, that doesn't qualify as "quite a awhile" at least not to me. I would consider a year or more as quite a while.

You didn't answer your ages either.

But the bottom line is you have to wait it out to see if you lucked out or not.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScottGem

You didn't answer your ages either.

She is 16, but did not say how old the boyfriend is.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hailey555

We've been together for 4 months, coming up to 5

5 months is not a long time at all sweetheart, I wouldn't even think 5 months is enough to even tell if you're going to want to be with him the rest of your life. If you have a kid with him, you're near stuck with him now.

I did say I'm 16. And my boyfriend is 17. Im sorry you don't think we've been together quite a while but to be honest I wasn't asking your opinion on that, I just decided to put that to give you some info about me. Thank you all for your advice though. So do I just have to wait?

Yes, Hailey, you have to wait. At your ages 4-5 months seems like a long time, but in reality it's not really all that long. You see, some married couples try to have babies for a year or longer before they actually get pregnant. In your case, however, you are not trying, but as you know, "things happen."

Just so you know, I deliver babies for a living and I can almost promise you that if you are pregnant, your relationship won't last too long. You see, you will be tied down with a baby and your BF will eventually want to have his freedom. He won't want to stay home 24/7 to feed a baby or change diapers.

I understand that you are not looking for opinions, but the people who have answered are all adults who have been in your position and/or are parents in a committed relationship.

As a labor and delivery nurse, I see this all the time with pregnant teens. Once the baby is born the boyfriend will say that the baby does not "look like" him, etc.

In the end, you have to wait to see if your next period comes before testing. If it doesn't, and you have to test, be sure to test using first morning urine and read the directions on the box very carefully as to when to read the test. If it says to read the test in 10 minutes and you wait until an hour later, you will get a false result.

J_9 they actually get pregnant. In your case, however, you are not trying, but as you know, "things happen."

Just so you know, I deliver babies for a living and I can almost promise you that if you are pregnant, your relationship won't last too long. You see, you will be tied down with a baby and your BF will eventually want to have his freedom. He won't want to stay home 24/7 to feed a baby or change diapers.

I understand that you are not looking for opinions, but the people who have answered are all adults who have been in your position and/or are parents in a committed relationship.

As a labor and delivery nurse, I see this all the time with pregnant teens. Once the baby is born the boyfriend will say that the baby does not "look like" him, etc.

In the end, you have to wait to see if your next period comes before testing. If it doesn't, and you have to test, be sure to test using first morning urine and read the directions on the box very carefully as to when to read the test. If it says to read the test in 10 minutes and you wait until an hour later, you will get a false result.[/QUOTE]

Thank you so much J_9. As a labor and delivery nurse, do you have any idea what my chances are that I'm not pregnant?

In the end, you have to wait to see if your next period comes before testing. If it doesn't, and you have to test, be sure to test using first morning urine and read the directions on the box very carefully as to when to read the test. If it says to read the test in 10 minutes and you wait until an hour later, you will get a false result.[/QUOTE][/QUOTE]

Thank you so much J_9. As a labor and delivery nurse, do you have any idea what my chances are that I'm not pregnant? I know I have to wait, I just want to be prepared for whatever I've got coming at me.

Your chances are 50/50 since you had sex at your most optimal time.

By the way I'm sorry I sent quite a few messages then, internet kept sending messages too early. Last one important only:) also, if I'm pregnant I'm not going to be asking my boyfriend to stay at home 24/7. He's a teenage lad and I know he would need his space and I respect that. I would never ask him to give up his youth to help me

Thank you J_9

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hailey555

by the way im sorry I sent quite a few messages then, internet kept sending messages too early. Last one important only:) also, if im pregnant im not going to be asking my boyfriend to stay at home 24/7. He's a teenage lad and I know he would need his space and I respect that. I would never ask him to give up his youth to help me

He will anyway, because I can guarantee your parents won't take full resposnsibility for that child, because even if you quit school and got a full time minimum wage job, you won't be able to support yourself and that child on your own. Your parents are going to have to help in some way, they'll probably make him pay child support.

Good luck.

Quote:

Originally Posted by C0bra_M3nace

He will anyways, because I can guarantee your parents wont take full resposnsibility for that child, because even if you quit school and got a full time minumum wage job, you won't be able to support yourself and that child on your own. Your parents are going to have to help in some way, they'll probably make him pay child support.

Good luck.

I've got a very big family and lots of people around me who could help me if I had a baby. They wouldn't force him to do anything, financially or otherwise. I literally just want some advice on my chances and J_9 I think has answered that. Im pretty scared so I need people to talk to and I'm not talking to my mum, because my mum doesn't even know I've had sex.I just need some statistics because then at least I have some actual numbers to go by while I have to wait

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hailey555

Last one important only:) also, if im pregnant im not going to be asking my boyfriend to stay at home 24/7. He's a teenage lad and I know he would need his space and I respect that. I would never ask him to give up his youth to help me

Excuse me? He shares the responsibility for you being forced to give up YOUR youth so why shouldn't he share the responsibility and loss of youth? Creatign a baby takes TWO and both need to raise the child.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hailey555

I've got a very big family and lots of people around me who could help me if I had a baby. They wouldn't force him to do anything, financially or otherwise.

We've heard that one plenty of times before. While you may have plenty of people who can help, its unrealistic to expect family to foot all the costs of raising a child. He contributed to this child and he needs to be responsible. I think you greatly underestimate what's involved in raising a child.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hailey555

I literally just want some advice on my chances and J_9 I think has answered that. Im pretty scared so I need people to talk to and im not talking to my mum, because my mum doesn't even know I've had sex.I just need some statistics because then at least I have some actual numbers to go by while I have to wait

There are no statistics that will help you. I don't know of anyone who can quantify the odds that a sperm will meet up with an egg. There are just too many factors. So the only thing you can do is what to see if you miss your period.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hailey555

I've got a very big family and lots of people around me who could help me if I had a baby. They wouldn't force him to do anything, financially or otherwise. I literally just want some advice on my chances and J_9 I think has answered that. Im pretty scared so I need people to talk to and im not talking to my mum, because my mum doesn't even know I've had sex.I just need some statistics because then at least I have some actual numbers to go by while I have to wait

Hey, when they start selling real estate in that fantasy world let me know, I'll be one of the first to move in. So your parents don't even know your having sex, yet you think they're going to be delighted enough that your having a baby, at 16 I might add, that they're going to help you financially, oh please.

Sweetheart, you're not even mature enough to be in a relationship, let alone having sex, if you think your life is just going to be a breeze if you have a kid. If you piss on that test and it shows that you're pregnant you're in one hell of a spiral kid. It's just too bad you couldn't wrap your head around that in the first place.

I wish you the best of luck kid, I really do, because you're going to find out the hard way what it means to have a child, and how hard it really is to raise one.

Elp you. I don't know of anyone who can quantify the odds that a sperm will meet up with an egg. There are just too many factors. So the only thing you can do is what to see if you miss your period.[/QUOTE]

Firstly, I know exactly what's involved in raising a child. Secondly, ever heard of adoption? Im not having a go, I'm just saying.

I know there are lots of factors that affect the chances, but surely there's something? I think you underestimate how horrible waiting is for me! Im on holiday and all I can think of is am I pregnant! Please, if anyone has any statistics, tell me. I just need something to calm me down. And thank you sol gor Irving to give me help and info

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hailey555

Firstly, I know exactly what's involved in raising a child. Secondly, ever heard of adoption? Im not having a go, im just saying.

I know there are lots of factors that affect the chances, but surely there's something?! I think you underestimate how horrible waiting is for me! Im on holiday and all I can think of is am I pregnant!? Please, if anyone has any statistics, tell me. I just need something to calm me down. And thankyou sol gor Irving to give me help and info

I can tell you right now you have absolutely no idea what it takes to raise a child. Trust me. I'd tell your mother you could be pregnant, that way it doesn't come as such a surprise, and possibly ruin the relationship with your parents. To be honest, you should have talked to you mother before you even began having sex, but you learnt your lesson didn't you?

Sweetheart I am helping you. You're just too immature to realize that yet either. Someday you'll take what I said, hopefully that day is soon, like if you aren't pregnant and your next period does come. I would hope that you'd take that as lesson learned, talk to your parents about having sex, let them put you on a proper birth control and help you so you don't go ruin your childhood like you just may have.

Someday, that's right someday you'll thank what I said.

I can tell you right now I know exactly what raising a child involves. Whether you believe that or not, doesn't bother me. So your telling me to tell my mum? And if I'm not pregnant she'll never look at me the same again and it would have been for nothing..

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hailey555

I can tell you right now I know exactly what raising a child involves. Whether you believe that or not, doesn't bother me. So your telling me to tell my mum? And if im not pregnant she'll never look at me the same again and it would have been for nothing...?

You're wrong again, whether she likes it or not your having sex, and you need to be properly protected. IE: Birth control. Whether you're pregnant or not, she is going to have to know at some point. Your parents are there to help, protect and guide you. You'd do well to use it, because they would want you to.

Since you only have a little idea of what my parents are like, don't tell me I'm wrong when I'm talking about them. Look, I'm not telling my mum, I'm sorry if that sounds stupid but birth control isn't my priority at the moment since I'm not going to be having sex for a while! All I want to know are the chances that I'm not pregnant!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hailey555

since you only have a little idea of what my parents are like, dont tell me im wrong when im talking about them. Look, im not telling my mum, im sorry if that sounds stupid but birth control isn't my priority at thw moment since im not gonna be having sex for a while! All I want to know are the chances that im not pregnant!

I feel so sorry for your parents. I truly do. Good luck with your endeavors, I wish you the best.

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Originally Posted by C0bra_M3nace

I feel so sorry for your parents.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hailey555

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

You are neglecting their trust in you by keeping such things from them. I feel sorry that they do not know of your situation and will be blind sided if you are to become pregnant. I feel sorry that they have a daughter who truly believes that, at 16, she can raise and support a child.

Need I say more?

You owe it to your parents to tell them no matter what you think they will think of you. If they are so understanding as you make them out to be, then this should be pretty easy.

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Originally Posted by Hailey555

I dont owe them anything.

Well that says it all right there. I rest my case.

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Originally Posted by Hailey555

Also, I never said I was going to raise it, adoption is an amazing thing.

Have you ever adopted? Yeah my grandmother sent 4 of her kids away for adoption. It's a terrible thing, and it leaves a void inside you, like a part of you is missing, or at least that how my grandmother describes it with tears in her eyes.

You've got a lot of growing up to do, whether you like it or not kid.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hailey555

Im not your grandmother. Just because she felt like that, and im sorry she did, that does not mean I would feel like that.

That developing baby will be part of you and part of your life for almost a year before it's born. You will feel its movements, it will affect how you move and where you go and what you eat and what you wear and how you feel every single day and even how often you use the bathroom. When you go for your monthly doctor visits, you will see its picture on the scan. Thoughts of adoption will become less and less likely as the months go by, as this becomes more and more "my child."

I hope you will let us know how this turns out.

I might not even be pregnant, I'm sorry for being moody but I really just want odds etc not opinions

But I will let you know what happens

I've cleaned up some of the posts here. We do not attack other members, nor do we dictate who can respond to posts or how. Except as it pertains to our site rules. Violations of those rules should be reported not responded to.

We have to make judgment because all we know is what you tell us. You have to remember that you are 16 and while you may think you know a lot, we, who have gone through 16, know now how little we knew at that time and how little you really know. So we are trying to help you by letting you know the reality of your situation.

The bottom line is that there are no odds or statistics that we can cite for you. You engaged in behavior that greatly increases the risk that you could become pregnant. It is a very real possibility for you. But until you miss your period we can't know.

You have received good, heartfelt advice meant to help you. What you do with that advice is up to you.

I do believe you have learned your lesson, hopefully not too late. But I also think you have a rather naïve and unrealistic idea of the full consequences of your actions.

Thank you. Firstly though, some of the advice given was not exactly what I would call 'heartfelt' saying they feel sorry for my parents etc is not what this post was made for. But I shouldn't have reActed I understand that.

Also, I may be 16 but that doesn't mean I know very little. I think people stereotype 16 year olds way too much and really, everyone is different, some more wise than others and some with a smaller vision of life. Im not stupid, I know what the consequences of my actions could lead to. I also know it might lead to nothing. All I wanted were statistics but now I have been told there are none that can help me, I suppose I'm going to have to be in the dark for a few weeks. I will tell you all what happens.

I'm not trying to be rude and judgemental. My anger is from you inability to even hear my advice, yes it is advice. It may not be what you want to hear but it's the truth. You think you have it all figured out until you realize you don't, and becoming pregnant isn't a good way to realize that. That's all I'm getting at. I just feel that you're blind siding your parents if whether you are pregnant or not. The attitude you have that you don't owe your parents anything upsets me the most.

They've put a roof over your head, fed you, raised you, the list goes on and on and on. You should be ashamed you feel you don't owe them anything.

That's the last of what I have to say on this subject, there's clearly no lesson to be learnt.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hailey555

thankyou. Firstly though, some of the advice given was not exactly what I would call 'heartfelt' saying they feel sorry for my parents etc is not what this post was made for. But I shouldn't have reActed I understand that.

You need to remember that all the people here VOLUNTEER their time and knowledge to help other members. So yes, even though you may not have liked a particular piece of advice or disagreed with it doesn't mean it wasn't given out of caring for you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hailey555

Also, I may be 16 but that doesn't mean I know very little.

No one said you "know very little". But when you are a few years older you WILL look back on this time and be amazed at how little you really did know at this time.

Right cobra, I've heard your advice so cheers for that. However, don't tell me that I should be ashamed. Im not ashamed of anything whether you like it or not. Im glad that's all you've got to say, because in the nicest way possible, your advice is doing no good. And you don't have a clue what my parents have done for me. They may be nice now, doesn't mean they always were.