I was abused by my 'best guy friend' physically. He punched me and hit me. He's punched me in the face more than once. He shot me multiple times with a BB-gun from about 2 feet away and it left marks. He knocked me down to the ground and he'd sometimes try to have sex with me. He strangled me MANY times, where the skin in your neck touches. He laughed it off and kept doing it. I never thought it was that bad, and he always said it was "love-tapping". But, now I don't believe him and I'm afraid of him. I hungout with my friends that he doesn't like, and they said they heard that he hits me. They got really protective and mad at him and wanted to fight him. They got his number and now 'my friend' is mad at me. He's not a good friend at all and he's tried to get me to smoke pot, cigars, and drink. WHAT SHOULD I DO to either get help for me or help his next victim. I don't want him hurting me or anyone else :(

Have you called the police to report what he has done

First off, it is never OK for a guy to put his hands on you in a unwarranted manner, no matter what he says. You need to separate yourself from this individual for the foreseeable future. If you are under the age of 18, you need to let your parents know what is going on. If you have a situation where you can't avoid him, you need to tell him you don't want to associate anymore and ignore him as well as you can. If he continues to try and seek you out, you should call the cops and press charges against him and get a restraining order.

Call the police before you would need 911. Sounds psycho. No contacts no matter what. Get away from his sight. No traces

You have posted under two different usernames-why?

Report him to the police-also speak to your parents.

But I don't want to bring the police into it if it's not that bad. I don't think it's serious enough. And I see him everyday: He lives about 5 houses down from me, he's on my bus, he sits with my friends at school, and he's friends with my friends. So, it's reaaaallly hard to get rid of him

Haha I know. It wouldn't let me log back in. It said I had the wrong password, so I had to get it changed. And I don't know if I should bring the police into it. And I told my mom, briefly, but I can't come around to tell her that he's tried to have sex with me.

I've tried to separate myself, but he lives 5 houses down from me, he's on my bus, he's friends with my friends, and he sits with my friends at school. It's really hard. And yes, I just turned 15, and he's almost 17. I told my mom, but not in that much detail. She doesn't know how bad it is. Yeah, I want to get a restraining order, but I don't know if it's that bad to get one

Nope, I don't think it's that bad. Do you think I should?

Do you have a boyfriend? Or Is there a close friend of yours living in the same lane and studies with you. Do not say its not serious, though its bad to judge anyone, it is very clear that he is abusing you. ABUSING you. What if he jumps on you and break your spine by accident, or push you off a cliff by mistake. Im just exaggerating it, but can we take a guess in this?
You should take cover with the help of your friends. Always be with them whenever he is around. May be soon, you will get a chance to move far. Until then, keep safe.

You tell your parents-and the police should be told-he's committing crimes-and other people might get hurt.

He punched you in the face and shot you with a BB gun, and you don't think it is "that bad"?? Where is your mind at.

Boy friends, or even friends don't do that, enemies and sick or evil people do those things.

What really worries me, is that after the first time, you seem to allow yourself to still be with him, Even if you did not call the police ( which of course you should have done) you must stop ever being with him

I have merged your two threads, I am one of the moderators

HAHAHA, does not cut it, sorry, there is prompts available to help you recover your lost passcode. Using two user names is taken serious here and is not something we laugh about

Please choose one of the two names and don't use the other one again

Yeah, it's pretty bad I guess. But I don't think it's bad enough for the police. And I don't know where my mind is! :( I just thought he'd be a good friend, and I was in denial about everything. And I still kind of am.
And he doesn't seem to think so. I've told him he hits me hard, and he denies it as well.
Yeah, I know. I never thought it'd get out of hand. And I'll call the police, but what should I say? Just "I need to report what one of my friends has done." ? Is that all?

I'll tell the police but what do I say?

To BK201:
No I don't have a boyfriend, but yeah, a few of my other guy friends know, and one girl. And yeah, you're right. He's put me in a choke hold before, and he could have seriously hurt me then. And no, exaggerating is sometimes good :) And okay, will do. Thank you

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck
I have merged your two threads, I am one of the moderators

HAHAHA, does not cut it, sorry, there is prompts available to help you recover your lost passcode. Using two user names is taken serious here and is not something we laugh about.

Please choose one of the two names and don't use the other one again

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Yeah, it didn't show.. Finally after another day it did. Don't be a jerk. And why?

He is a bully, and he is assaulting you. Tell your parents the whole story, tell your school, AND call the cops.

Just say he hits you and tries to have sex with you!!

But it's summer, and I told my mom. She doesn't think it's bad enough to call the cops for.

It sounds like you just want him to stop without you having to do anything about it, and I'm sorry to say that's not going to happen. Since you said you are 15, I would urge you to sit down with your mom and really explain to her what's going on. As uncomfortable as it may be, you need to tell an adult so that they can help you in getting him to stop. Allegations of assault and rape are very serious crimes that need to be brought to someone's attention, including your parents, school counselor, neighbor, or police officer.

I also want to stress that someone putting their hands on you is not appropriate, no matter what he or your mom say. It does not matter how hard he thinks it is, any form of unwanted physical contact is not appropriate. If you feel like you can't stop it, I assure you the cops will.

I would suggest sitting down with your mom once more and being completely honest with her about everything he's done and said to you. If he ever puts his hands on you again, immediately call 911 and tell the operator that you have been assaulted by him. The operator will ask for your address and dispatch a unit to your house, where you can tell the officers what has happened.

If you would like to discuss what has happened to you, you can call these hotlines below and talk to someone. You will remain completely anonymous unless you choose not to.

Abuse Victim Hotline Numbers
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233


I can assure you that not doing anything will only make it worse. You need to inform someone about this for your own good. I hope everything works out for you.

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Originally Posted by tryme15

But it's summer, and I told my mom. She doesn't think it's bad enough to call the cops for.

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You have said you didn't tell her the whole truth. Tell her the whole truth!!

You start by telling EVERYONE the entire truth (the people who post here, your mother, the Police). What do you say? Exactly what you've said here. "We" understood you.

To Talaniman,

I didn't tell her until someone on here said to, then I did. And I told her the whole truth. I was never lying. I just said it was going to be hard. And she STILL doesn't think it's bad.

You stated that you don't think that it's "that bad". So I have to ask, why are you posting about it here?

Obviously it is that bad, otherwise you wouldn't be asking for advice on what to do.

Let me tell you, I've had boyfriends that beat me up badly. One guy I dated smashed my head into the windshield of his car because I wouldn't have sex with him. His windshield broke, then he beat me up because I broke the windshield with my head, which he bashed into it.

I've been there and done that. I've had a guy I trusted pull a knife on me. I've had a gun to my face. I've been raped, you name it, I've been there.

So trust me when I tell you that this behavior isn't normal. He's doing it to you, he will do it to others.

Tell your mother the whole truth. If she's too naïve to see that this is serious, take matters into your hands. He's an abuser, and he won't stop until he's stopped.

If mom is not going to help, find another RESPONSIBLE adult who will. He is bad news. Where is your DAD!!

So you told your mother that there's a guy who hits you in the face , shoots you with a BB-Gun that leaves marks and tries to have sex with you and she doesn't think it's serious :eek:


Really ????

I find that extremely hard to believe.

Ask her.. That's exactly what I said.

In jail...

Well yeah, my friend that found out said to post it on here because he thinks it's bad and he wanted to prove it to me. I said okay, and I'm realizing that it is bad. And I'm sorry :( And I trust you. I already told her the truth; everything that happened to me. And I want to call the abuse hotline now, but I'm afraid and I don't know why. I think it's cause I still have feelings for him and I don't want to see anything really bad happen to him, but I want him to realize what he did.

Quote:

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Well yeah, my friend that found out said to post it on here because he thinks it's bad and he wanted to prove it to me. I said okay, and I'm realizing that it is bad. And I'm sorry :( And I trust you. I already told her the truth; everything that happened to me. And I want to call the abuse hotline now, but I'm afraid and I don't know why. I think it's cause I still have feelings for him and I don't want to see anything really bad happen to him, but I want him to realize what he did.

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Being nervous is natural, seeking out help is a big step. It's something that needs to be done though if you want him to stop. I can assure you that calling the abuse hotline will be anonymous, meaning they won't know who you are. You can have a private 1-on-1 chat with another person about the same things your discussing here, and help you decide the best course of action to get him to stop. I'm not sure what state your in, but most states have one. Click here to bring up a list of numbers by state. Again, the national hotline is 1-800-799-7233. They have no way of knowing who you are unless you tell them. You'll be speaking to a trained professional who will help you cope with what has happened and give you the best advice possible.

It's OK to care about this individual and want what's best for him. What's no OK is to let him abuse you. You have the same rights as him and deserve to have people in your life that treat you well, especially as young as you are. If you truly want what's best for him, getting him help is the best thing you can do for him.

I urge you to call the hotline and talk to someone. Try and avoid your attacker as well as you can. If the abuse continues, you need to call the police so they can protect you. I can assure you doing nothing will only make it worse.

But hotline's are for people that are being abused STILL. I don't talk to him anymore especially since it's summer. So, that number might not work

What does ' "We" understand you' mean?

Oh and you can't get a restaining order unless he's over 18. And he's almost 17.

But hotline's are for people that are being abused STILL. I don't talk to him anymore especially since it's summer. So, that number might not work

That isn't correct. Hotlines are for anyone who has been abused, is being abused, and thinks there may be abuse in the future.

What happens when it's not summer any longer and he begins to abuse you again? What happens if someone else decides to abuse you? It would be a good idea to begin to get your self-defense and self-protection act together now by making that phone call.

But I'm not going to let him see me anymore. We don't hangout anymore. He won't abuse me again. Besides, I don't know where the line is cut to define what's abuse and what's just messing around.

But I'm not going to let him see me anymore. We don't hangout anymore. He wont abuse me again.

But you "allowed" him to abuse you. Are you going to stop the next person who abuses you?

Besides, I don't know where the line is cut to define what's abuse and what's just messing around.

Wow! That's the perfect reason to call the abuse hotline, isn't it!

Yeah, when we were friends. He's mad at me because my friends got his number and started calling him. And yeah, I'd hope I would.
And noo.. What if it wasn't serious and they said I filed for a false abuse?

What if it wasn't serious and they said I filed for a false abuse?

But you and I both know it WAS serious, it WAS abuse. The hotline is not to file a report, but is an opportunity to talk with a trained professional in order to, for instance, clarify what abuse is. You said you don't know the difference between abuse and "having fun," so that would be a good question is ask.

Make the call, and find out the facts, and you won't need to keep making excuses why you can't, or be scared of what ifs.

All right, I'll call. But I'm going to see my counselor pretty soon, should I ask her then, or should I do something about it now?

Alright, I'll call. But I'm going to see my counselor pretty soon, should I ask her then, or should I do something about it now?

Ask her what? Do something about what now?

Have you talked with your counselor about the definition of abuse and about setting boundaries?

Well tell her about the abuse. And ask her to help me in calling I guess. My mom told me to talk to her first

I'm definitely not making excuses. I'm really afraid to call and my mom doesn't want me to. If you freaking don't believe me, then get off my page.

I'm really afraid to call and my mom doesn't want me to.

Why are you afraid to call?

Why doesn't your mom want you to?

get off my page

This isn't FB nor is it your "page." You've posted a question on an open, public forum that can be seen and responded to by millions of people all over the world. And you can't dictate how they respond. You may like the answers you get and you may not.

Tryme, the call to the abuse hotline is anonymous, that's what it's set up for, so that people can talk freely without incriminating themselves or anyone else. It's there so that you can get help.

I find it odd that your mother doesn't want you to call. You were abused? What sort of mother do you have? She doesn't seem to care very much about your well being. :(

Call the hotline, and talk to your therapist. Most of all, stay away from this guy.

He should be reported, because I know he'll do this or worse to someone else. But I understand that you're afraid to report this. I wish you would, so you can save someone else from the hurt he's caused you, but I do understand how hard it is to tell on someone.

Right now I'm concerned about you, about you finding a way to stay away from him. This guy is an abuser. He needs help, and so do you. Get that help. You have the phone numbers, so use them. You have a therapist, so talk about it.

I hope you do.