Ask Me Help Desk - I'm a bit down

I'm a bit down

Well, here we go. I'm 13, and I like a girl at school ( lets call her H.).
Of course, she doesn't like me *sighs*. I sometimes act strange when I'm with my friends, but whenever she comes around, I just get so depressed. One of my friends doesn't like H . Her friends doesn't like me, nor does most of the rest of the school. At least she doesn't hate me. We (my friends an H.) joke around, whacking each other (not intending to hurt one and other).
I've been bullyed since I started school and I've had eggs and firecrackers thrown at my front door. I also listen to metal ( no, don't stand for any opinions of any rockstar and I have no specific idol) but I haven't told my parents about my interests of music (I come from a very calm family). People at my school (usually the bullys) drink and hang out in bad places (like bars, etc). I don't have the guts to say that I like H, nor do I think that it would help me. The bullys are not picking on me as much as they used to do, and I know how to ignore them.
:o I'm very shy, too:o
all i want is some advice

/
/your depressed RRR (swedish thirteenyearold programming guy)

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/your depressed RRR (swedish thirteenyearold programming guy)

That's your problem its like me I am on my PC all day long but I make friends all you got to do is just talk to people stuff like that don't always let people hit you just hit them back and if you like that girl just go talk to her (if she does not have bf)

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don't always let people hit you just hit them back

Its our way to have fun - I'm pretty pathetic, huh?

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and if you like that girl just go talk to her (if she does not have bf)

I have talked to her, she doesn't have a boyfriend, but she just doesent seem to like me in that way:(

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that's your problem its like me I am on my PC all day long

I doo have a social life:mad:

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but I make friends

Are you implicating that I have no friends ( read the Q.) :mad:

I've tried doing most of what you said, but it's just isn't working *sigh*

Yes talk to the girl not about your feelings, but just normal stuff like how are you etc. make her laugh a lot, girls like a funny guy!
You will learn , at 13 you are so young!! It takes yearsss of experience

Thanks, but I'm sure she just doesen't like me. Can we talk about the metal issiue. ( I don't wan't to upset my parents )

You don't sound to be particularly depressed to me, you seem to be coping with the bullying very well also. You just seem a little upset that this girl has no interest in you.

Don't worry about girls, there are loads of opportunities for that! Hell I hardly knew any girls until I was 16 since I was in an all boys school. And look at me now.

My friend doesn't like H. he even asked me not to talk with her during the winter holidays. I just fell like I want to cry, but I can't. When I'm down, I often talk about violence and death, wich scares her friends.

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Originally Posted by rrr

my freind doesn't like H., he even asked me not to talk with her during the winter holidays. i just fell like i want to cry, but i can't. when i'm down, i often talk about violence and death, wich scares her freinds.

Your friends should not tell you who you not should talk to and you who you should talk to

Thanks, but still he did. He is a good friend of mine, but not my best. I know that there willl come other oppertuneties to find a girl, but I still can't help how I feel. My friend puts himself between me and H. I don't want to make that decision, but still...
*shouts*-WHY??

The girl is just a girl, you don't really need to worry about all that at your age, opportunities always come along when you aren't looking for them :)

That is what my rational senses tell me, but...

Also, it is not rare to have a crush at this age, just do your best not to worry about it :)

I just don't know what to do.

There's no a lot you can do apart from wait, focus on yourself and improving yourself, and most of all don't worry about it too much

I need some help with another issiue, too. I like listening to metal ex:
Slipknot
Killsitch engage
System of a down
And my parents don't know about it. I know that many rockstars are into drugs, and I am very againtst drugs, alcohol and tobacco and just don't wan't to upset my parents (who are very easily upset) because I don't want to ruin my good relationship with them.

I don't see why they would be upset about you listening to metal if they were understanding people.

Everyone experiments at your age, I know I listened to a lot of metal at your age, but my tatstes have mellowed a little.

As long as you reassure them that you aren't going to get into anything, you shouldn't be worried about telling them. They might be worried if you are going to a metal gig though - mainly because of your age, you are still young and impressionable :).

I'm pretty sure most reasonable people wouldn't worry about their son enjoying metal music

I do enjoy a bit of System of a Down, they are a lot more melodic than most metal - they are nearly rock I suppose :)

Thanks, you are very understanding. NO, I would never go to a metal gig (hate crowds). Thank you, you have helped me a lot. Man I just feel like what they (system of a down) sing in the song "lonley day".
*sigh*
Thank you.
And I'm 13 almost 14- sorry for not informing

Everyone feels lonely sometimes, surround yourself with friends and don't worry about H, those things sort themselves out.

I'm sure your parents will be very understanding about listening to metal if you sit and talk to them about it, don't be too worried :)

My friends are on vacation. Thanks for the help. *hugs freindly*
Ill go now to do some pushups. But check in sometimes (I'll probably keep on posting)
Bye!
*walks away, a bit happier*

rrr,

So are you involved in any activities? Like any sports or clubs at school? That's always a good way to make more friends and get more comfortable with other people.

One thing for you to know is that most people go through what your going through at your age.

12-16 (Most take longer, but most 16 y/o's think they know everything.. lol) ages 12-16 most people are realizing that the world is not about games and toys... its when we start to see the vastness of the world, and realize things about 'fitting in' and then we start to look at ourselves and try to figure out who we are, how we fit in, and most of all 'what do other people think about me?'

The trick is to like yourself. Like who you are and your beliefs. If you like who you are, then you believe in yourself, and what other people think about you matters less... therefor giving you confidence to be yourself.

Your guy friends, are they even into girls at all? Why doesn't he want you to talk to her?
My guess is that he is Jealous that you and her get along. As for her friends it may be the same reason.
You say your parents are sensitive... do you feel sheltered? Do you absolutely know that your parents would be upset with your choice of music? You don't think they would be the least bit understanding that you are growing up and just figuring out what you like. A lot of people like Metal and heavy rock but don't live the lifestyle of the bands. I am a girl, I love system of a down, and AFI, and Korn... among other types of music... but I am completely against drugs.

Music is just self expression. My guess is that you feel you have been sheltered and this music makes you feel free to express what's inside of you. I hope when you listen to it, that you don't feel violent or angry though... that may be what your parents are afraid of. Maybe if you talk to them and tell them why you like this music, maybe even share it with them and reassure them that you are not into the bands lifestyle, you just like the sound of it...

I have more to say but I am short on time... will try to get back to this later...

Best Wishes

first of all, thanks s2tp.
I don't think he is jealous, although it might be. I haven't looked at it in that way. He says he doesn't like her because he is a very calm guy and she is, well, not too calm. One of them are not (he's my best friend and not the one who made a fuss about me talking to H. and from now on we will call him E.)
but the other one (who made a fuss about me talking to H. lets call him P.) I'm not quiet sure about. He seems interested, but I'm not sure...

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12-16 (Most take longer, but most 16 y/o's think they know everything.. lol) ages 12-16 most people are realizing that the world is not about games and toys... its when we start to see the vastness of the world, and realize things about 'fitting in' and then we start to look at ourselves and try to figure out who we are, how we fit in, and most of all 'what do other people think about me?'

the quoted area is very correct to how I feel, except for:

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and realize things about 'fitting in' and then we start to look at ourselves and try to figure out who we are, how we fit in, and most of all 'what do other people think about me?'

I don't really care what other people think about me ( I have and am being bullyed verbally at school but don't care) but what I think about myself. Unfourtunatley, I am sort of a perfectionist...

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So are you involved in any activities? Like any sports or clubs at school? That's always a good way to make more friends and get more comfortable with other people.

well, I do go to judo once a week and I help others train judo once a week.

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Music is just self expression.My guess is that you feel you have been sheltered and this music makes you feel free to express what's inside of you. I hope when you listen to it, that you don't feel violent or angry though... that may be what your parents are afraid of. Maybe if you talk to them and tell them why you like this music, maybe even share it with them and reassure them that you are not into the bands lifestyle, you just like the sound of it...

even though I can stand being verbally bullyed, I can't help that it sometimes irritates me. In most of those situations, I often listen to metal. It "vents" my anger and helps me carry on.
however, sometimes I just want to be left alone. I'm irritated often irritated and just don't feel like engaging in any social activity.

rrr,

I can relate very much! I was the same growing up, I did get picked on by a few people and even though I just brushed it off, it still got to me sometimes...

Music has always been my escape, a vent as you say. I grew up spending a lot of time alone, and I remain that way today.. I just like my company better than I like some people... lol.

Either way, there is nothing wrong with the music you listen to, or why you listen to it. I would like to think your parents could understand that... but you know them best...

As for this girl, as others said, its common to have a crush at your age. It sucks that she doesn't seem to like you back... but in all honesty I don't think you should worry about getting 'involved' with girls so seriously yet. You've got plenty of years ahead to struggle with them... hehe, no reason to start early.

As for your friends they shouldn't be telling you who to hang out with or who not to. If they have a problem with it then hang out with whoever you want away from them, and hang out with him or the guys alone if need be. I think everyone should have a variety of friends, and if you enjoy your time with her then stay friends...

I hope all goes well!

Hey man I'm 15 and I know how you feel, chicks can be annoying! Very annoying, I seem to go completely overboard and act all stupid when a girl I like is near... but the whole point is to get to know them first and then think about getting close to them.
Ive been through many cases such as yours even though I'm only 15(many as in lik 3, but neway) and usually thr not interested, well at least they seem interested but their rely not cos they themselves don't know what the hell there doing!! :mad:... my point=good things come to those who wait.(but don't wait too long)

well, that is pretty much the only thing i can do [wait]. :(

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chicks can be annoying!! very annoying, i seem to go completely overboard and act all stupid when a girl i like is near...

things marked in italic = i don't agree
things marked in bold = i agree

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chicks can be annoying! Very annoying

likeing a girl can be annoying, girls in general aren't supposably irritating...

check your spelling next time :mad:

To others:
well, i like metal and so does H, but my friends (especially the one who doesn't like H.)
doesn't like metal. And i think that is why he doesn't like H.

Ask her out build some confidenes even bring a friend if you have to or do it by phone that this is off topic but it is so awsome you like metal because I love it and I deal with the same problem with my parents not likeing that type of music much but they prefer hip hop

Thanks, but I don't think she would go out with me. I now know she is together with a 16-year old (possibly two, but I don't know... ), and it concerns me a bit. I'm scared that she gets hurt; this is not exactly the safest neighbourhood. Her parents don't know about this, and I guess if I tell them, she will probably hate me (at least she doesn't think I'm a total idiot right now). I guess I'm just another idiot...

What, did I end this question now or what??
*wispers to self* darn, now I sound like I'm simply complaining...
*normal voice* sorry, I didn't mean to sound rude. Apologies.

Now H ignores me and E. Instead she turns all her attention to P. I sometimes try to talk to her, but she somewhat pushes me away. She feels sorry for him because he is also being bullyed. He started crying during a lesson when someone said something mean to him. I, on the contrary, haven't cried for at least 2 years now. I wish I could, but I can't. I jusat bottle it up and continue living. But I feal like this bomb has to explode sometime.

But just having her near me is enough for me... it's all I've got now...

"What I really meant to say // is i am sorry for the way I am"
- Cold, Cross Fade

Hey, I understand where your coming from. For now... lets forget about "h", the bullies that bully you, you got to stand up to them mate. I know its easy said than done but you have to do something. Stand up and show your existence.

And for the girls (H) your 13 and you have a long long time for all that, I'm not saying now's not the time but don't stress too much. Most girls tend to like guys for who they are. ( surprised?! well trust me their freaky in that way)

:)

Try to talk to her. Make sure to be nice, try to be yourself around her. Also do not listen to what your friends say and go along of what your heart desires. And if they say she is ugly or is stupid just ignore them it shouldn't matter about looks it depends on their personality. Lol. They are probably jealous lol

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Try to talk to her. Make sure to be nice, try to be yourself around her. Also do not listen to what your friends say and go along of what your heart desires. And if they say she is ugly or is stupid just ignore them it shouldn't matter about looks it depends on their personality. Lol. They are probably jealous lol

Those lol's make me a bit uncertain. Are you serious?? If so,
Yeah, I ignore them when they say she's weird. I try top be myself around her, but it's just not enough

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the bullies that bully you, you got to stand up to them mate. I know its easy said than done but you have to do something. Stand up and show your existence.

I stand up againts them and I'm proud of it. :cool:

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And for the girls (H) your 13 and you have a long long time for all that, I'm not saying now's not the time but don't stress too much. Most girls tend to like guys for who they are. ( surprised?! well trust me their freaky in that way

I'm 13, and my birthday is 21 February [post made 29 jan.]. I don't think she likes me for who I am in THE way. And why are most people who post here telling me that girls in general are weird *annoyed*

I'M STILL PRETTY SCARED THAT SHE GETS HURT: SEE PREVIOUS POSTS
People WHO WANT TO MAKE NEW POSTS - READ THE ENTIRE THREAD PLEASE - IT'S NOT TOO LONG

I am so down today. H is probably going to go to another school. It just made me so sad. I wrote this poem to show you how I feel:

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Now you leave me... here in this hell...
You cause me this pain, and then you, the only thing I have to cling onto, you leave.
I don't blame you, this is my demons. But only you can slay them.
It all feels distant. I see, hear and feel. But my senses are numb by the deafening pain.
I breathe, eat and walk. I live, but still I am dead. Why did you kill me?
If I only could be with you... I would never leave you.
Someone else... always someone else... never me...
I scream in agony, but no one hears me. They only hear themselves and others.
Why can't you see me? This true pain/love shines with a dark lustre.
Why can't you see? I don't mean to force you to love me, but still, all I want is you...
I would do anything for you. Kill. Hurt. Die. Your love is priceless...
Oh, why?

Cheer up! You're only 13.

It's good to get your feelings on paper like that though. Trust that things will feel better someday, it just takes time :)

*noticed answer - cheers up a little*

Ok... an update...

She cuts herself!! T-T
I'm 14 and as unhappy as ever...
But at least she doesn't think I'm an idiot...

Good to hear from you, don't worry about the cutting too much, it's an attention thing and is surprisingly common around your age.

Stop being unhappy!

I can't! Everything seems so heavy...

Attention? She hasn't told anyone (execpt her closest friends, possibly... )
So, I also forgot to say that the bullys have started picking on me again. HORAY!

I know what you mean by everything seems heavy. You need to open your eyes a little and enjoy the world, it really is a beautiful place.

Yeah, still don't worry about the cutting. It is for attention, even if she tells nobody.

God, she is the best person I have ever met. KAWAI!!
At least she has said that she doesn't dislike my looks... :eek: I thought that would be the last thing she would like...

Well, I simply hate myself. I can't stand things I have said and done, I hurt myself in different ways (Not anything that could permanently damage my health), and now I'm doing worse in school, too. I'm just so tired of life right now...