Ask Me Help Desk - Me and my boyfriend are in a long distance relationship and we're not aloud to talk

Me and my boyfriend are in a long distance relationship and we're not aloud to talk

Okay so me and my boyfriend are in a long distance relationship and my dad won't let me talk to him anymore like AT ALL the only way we talk is on myspace... and I REALLY do love him and please don't say I'm "to young" for that NO I'm not I truly love him and we do love each other we thought about breaking up but I don't want anybody else I want & NEED him we really don't know what to do... the reason is he's turning 17 December and I'm barley turning 16 in December, so the problem is my dad won't let us talk anymore AT ALL so what should we do?? If we only talk online? BREAKING UP IS NOOOOT AN OPTION.

Is an oline romance or have you met this guy?

Okay. You're 15 and he's 16. How have you talked in the past? -- via the computer mics like with Skype? By phone?

By saying your dad won't let you "talk to him," do you mean communicate at all with him or literally TALK with him (voice contact)?

How long has this long-distance relationship been going on? Has your father allowed it in the past?

Me and my boyfriend are in a long distance relationship and we're not aloud to talk

Okay so me and my boyfriend are in a long distance relationship and my dad won't let me talk to him anymore like AT ALL the only way we talk is on myspace... and I REALLY do love him and please don't say I'm "to young" for that NO I'm not I truly love him and we do love each other we thought about breaking up but I don't want anybody else I want & NEED him we really don't know what to do... the reason is he's turning 17 December and I'm barley turning 16 in December, so the problem is my dad won't let us talk anymore AT ALL so what should we do?? If we only talk online? BREAKING UP IS NOOOOT AN OPTION. & right now I just want to kill myself... so what should I do?

What should you do? Obey your father.

You are "barely turning 16 in december?" What does that mean? You either ARE or ARE NOT turning 16 in December.

This thread explains why Daddy doesn't want you two together..

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/...nd-494273.html

I don't blame Daddy, he's not ready to be a grandfather and you're too young to be a mother.

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

This thread explains why Daddy doesn't want you two together..

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/...nd-494273.html

I don't blame Daddy, he's not ready to be a grandfather and you're too young to be a mother.

I think your Daddy needs to lock you in the house till you grow a brain and have a little more respect for yourself. :(

Your boyfriend sounds like a controlling loser and your father has more sense than you and your boyfriend.
Leave this guy alone.

Before We Were together like in person, and my dad didn't know about him, then we had to move and we had to talk on the phone and yesterday my dad said we can't anymore he still doesn't know about us going out, we been in the long distance for about 3 months now. And yea a lot of people say they agree with my dad but He's the abusive one which is the only reason I don't tell him about a lot of things. And no I'm not ready to be a mommie and I know he's not ready to be a grandfather we were protective when we had sex [me&my BF]

Quote:

Originally Posted by bijiou36

Before We Were together like in person, and my dad didn't know about him, then we had to move and we had to talk on the phone and yesterday my dad said we can't anymore he still doesn't know about us going out, we been in the long distance for about 3 months now. And yea alot of people say they agree with my dad but He's the abusive one which is the only reason i don't tell him about alot of things. and no im not ready to be a mommie and i know he's not ready to be a grandfather we were protective when we had sex [me&my BF]

I don't care if wears two condoms... you need to back away. If you think it's abuse on your dads part because he won't let you ruin your life with this loser , that is not abuse. He's being a good parent. You and this guy are going screw up your lives. Don't accuse your Dad of being abusive just because he won't let you fool around with this guy. He loves you, that's what parents do. Knock it off with the lying.

Then your dad must think you are too young to date in which case you need to go by his rules.
You and this guy's relationship was funky and inappropriate anyway.
This could be a good time to move on.

Okay seriously why would I lie about my dad abusing me? I know what abuse is and not letting me see him or talk to him isn't abuse I literally me ABUSE hitting me, and Mental Abuse if you don't believe me then don't try to help because I really wouldn't lie about something that serious

Quote:

Originally Posted by bijiou36

okay seriously why would i lie about my dad abusing me? i know what abuse is and not letting me see him or talk to him isn't abuse i literally me ABUSE hitting me, and Mental Abuse if you don't believe me then don't try to help because i really wouldn't lie about something that serious

Tell me about the abuse? I'll listen.

First of course there is no real safe sex, even if on birth control and using condoms, women do still get pregnant.
And of course at 15 the boyfriend is a rapist in most ( if not all) US states and if you had sex with him, your dad could easily send him to prison.

Next long distance seldom works at your age for long, you need to live you life as a teen you are.

If your father is abusing you, that is a separate matter.
You still have no business having the type of relationship you were having with this boy. That relationship was unhealthy and inappropriate. In that, your father is right.

I'm waiting Bijou and so are the others.. we'll listen

How Are We Having An Innapropriate Relationship? & My Names Angel By the way
& Waitingg For What?

Quote:

Originally Posted by bijiou36

How Are We Having An Innapropriate Relationship?? & My Names Angel By the way
& Waitingg For What?

You want to talk about the abuse by your father . That what we're waiting to know about. Know one know your real name or where you live.
We're waiting to hear about what your dad does that you consider abuse.

Okaay well about the abuse, basically I don't really know what you would like to knoow.. soooo.. hmm he hits me not like how some parents hit their kids he hits like he's fighting somebody but I noticed he never hits me in my face, its always my back & my stomach. Anything else you want to know? & I'm turning 16 in 4 months! Even my mom said I should be aloud to date (I don't live with her they got divorced when I was 2)

All I have to say is. That a lot of these answers are just not right, like the poor girl says she's in love! Dose no one get that, I say that if you guys really do love each other, then you guys can find a way to make it work. Have you ever tried to go to a friends house, and use their phones. And what about a cell-phone. I think that if you guys really do like each other,then myspace really will have to be good enough. :) :o

I'm grounded until school starts, so I can't but when school starts I plan to use my friends phone and I have a cell phone but he gets all my calls & texts on my records pretty annoyingg... but yea thanks for understanding!

Quote:

Originally Posted by bijiou36

okaay well about the abuse, basically i don't really know what you would like to knoow..soooo..hmm he hits me not like how some parents hit their kids he hits like he's fighting somebody but i noticed he never hits me in my face, its always my back & my stomach. Anything else you want to know?? & im turning 16 in 4 months! even my mom said i should be aloud to date (i dont live with her they got divorced when i was 2)

Sorry I 'm with your Dad on this one. I don't believe in hitting a child. I did swat my kids on the rear when they needed it. Would you really want to tell this to authorities? Your dad abuses you report him,, but before you do you better be sure you are telling the truth,

You and the boyfriend broke the rules and if you lie about this and your Dad gets into trouble, sure you will be able to do what you want unless the guy is charged with a crime of contributaing to a minorand rape. What shocks me is the fact your mother is not supporting your Dad in his stand about this boy.

You do what you have to do, but if you're lying.. it could ruin your Dad's life.

Quote:

Originally Posted by natty_jokes

All I have to say is. That alot of these answers are just not right, like the poor girl says she's in love! Dose no one get that, I say that if you guys really do love eachother, then you guys can find a way to make it work. Have you ever tryed to go to a friends house, and use their phones. And what about a cell-phone. I think that if you guys really do like eachother,then myspace really will have to be good enough. :) :o

I don't care how in love she thinks she is, she is 15 this boy 17, her father does not want her dating and this boy has no business with her.
According to another thread of hers she is having problems with the boy on a sexual level anyway, so this whole thing is messed up.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bijiou36

How Are We Having An Inappropriate Relationship?? & My Names Angel By the way
& Waiting For What?

For one thing your ages. He should not be messing with you and certainly not having sex with you. According to one of your threads you two have sexual issues anyway, which is one more reason you should not be dating and having sex at your age.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

I don't care how in love she thinks she is, she is 15 this boy 17, her father does not want her dating and this boy has no business with her.
According to another thread of hers she is having problems with the boy on a sexual level anyway, so this whole thing is messed up.

I agree Home Girl.

Yea and I can unserstand that you would hit them when they needed it but he hits me sometimes to take his anger out on me when I don't even do anything and I'm not going to report him because then my BF would get in trouble. & he's 16 not 17 our Birthdays are the same day so I'll be 16 and he'll be 17 I mean seriously? It's ONE YEAR apart does that really mean much?

Quote:

Originally Posted by bijiou36

yea and i can unserstand that you would hit them when they needed it but he hits me sometimes to take his anger out on me when i don't even do anything and i'm not going to report him because then my BF would get in trouble. & he's 16 not 17 our Birthdays are the same day so i'll be 16 and he'll be 17 i mean seriously? it's ONE YEAR apart does that really mean much?

Does he leave bruises?

At any rate, then the mature thing for you to do is do as your father says and leave this be.
You should not be having sex with this boy anyway. He walks all over you in that area according to your other thread. This whole deal is messed up.
I suggest you use this time to really think about going any further with this boy.

Some yea but he doesn't do it as bad as he used to so their aren't many, and I cover then up anyway and wait for them to go away which is another reason I'm not reporting him because then they will most likley think I'm lying because the bruises don't show much anymore

You need to talk to someone about the situation with your father if it is that bad. Don't allow yourself to be abused just because you don't want to get your boyfriend in trouble.
Was this happening before the boy friend?

I Can't Just Leave Somebody that I love A lot and just break up with him like that and forget about it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

At any rate, then the mature thing for you to do is do as your father says and leave this be.
You should not be having sex with this boy anyway. He walks all over you in that area according to your other thread. This whole deal is messed up.
I suggest you use this time to really think about going any further with this boy.

I agree with Hg. I'm struck with the response if I tell on my Dad it will get my boyfriend in trouble'. No what will get your boyfriend in trouble is continuing this relationship. You will end up pregnant , with an std and don't think Mr. StudMan is going to stick around,

If you continue this there is also a chance of a confrontation between him and your Dad. Someone could get hurt. We as parents are like momma and poppa bears when it comes to our children.

Your mom needs to get her head out of the clouds and stand with your Dad on this. Be leery young lady. Take a moment to think of what you're doing.

Okay then we won't have sex anymore. But what do you expect me to do? Just break up with him & never talk to him again then become depressed? Because if we break up he already said he's going to the military because there's nothing better for him. And I really don't know what I'm going to do. I've Already thought about Suicide but I don't know yet
And my dad doesn't let my mom be involved at all.

KitKat she does not live with her mom, but I'm sure her mom thinking she should be allowed to date does not mean having sex with this boy, who according to her doesn't want to have sex that much with her any way is heavy into porn and won't allow her to masturbate. Now tell me that isn't some messes up stuff!
You say you NEED this boy.
This is 15/16 year old angst.
This relationship is dysfunctional your dad probably senses this and that is a reason he does not want you seeing this boy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bijiou36

Okay then we won't have sex anymore. But what do you expect me to do? just break up with him & never talk to him again then become depressed? because if we break up he already said he's going to the military because theres nothing better for him. and i really don't know what i'm going to do. I've Already thought about Suicide but i dont know yet
and my dad doesn't let my mom be involved at all.

Because your mom thinks it's okay. Suicide over a boy. If you were to do anything so moronic, he would be with another girl in a week. You would be forgotten by everyone except the ones who truly love you.
Suicide is forever, no changing your mind, no waking up and being glad your young and loved. It's a cowards way out. It takes someone with guts to stick around and face life.

Wait a couple of years and if he loves you and you love him and it's meant to be it will happen.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bijiou36

Okay then we won't have sex anymore. But what do you expect me to do? just break up with him & never talk to him again then become depressed? because if we break up he already said he's going to the military because there's nothing better for him. and i really don't know what i'm going to do. I've Already thought about Suicide but i dont know yet
and my dad doesn't let my mom be involved at all.

I'm assuming you are still in school.
What you do is get involved in school, make friends, girls and boys.
If you are having problems with depression you need to be talking to someone about it, you probably need to be talking to someone anyway. Getting wrapped up in a boy is not going to help you.
He even recognizes he needs to do something else with his life, he's not talking about ending it.
Do you have other friends?

You both are young and immature. He can't go into the military at 17 I don't think at least his parents have to sign for him. Does he go to school?
You both need to be having fun with friends not this intense I NEED you stuff.
It would be hard but I think time away from each other would be the best thing for both of you.

I have other friends but if I talk to a boy [AS JUST FRIENDS] like texting or something my dad's always assuming I'm having sex with him or I'm flirting with him or dating him & its not over him its over a lot of things in my life and I said I was THINKING about it. & he's worst than me about this! I was going to break up with him about a week ago and he was about to kill his self then he had to go to the hospital etc, So He's Way Worse than me about it

He Already Asked his Parents they said they would sign him. And I Can't Have Fun My Dad's In The Way

Quote:

Originally Posted by bijiou36

i have other friends but if i talk to a boy [AS JUST FRIENDS] like texting or something my dad's always assuming im having sex with him or im flirting with him or dating him & its not over him its over alot of things in my life and i said i was THINKING about it. & he's worst than me about this! i was gonna break up with him about a week ago and he was about to kill his self then he had to go to the hospital etc,. so He's Way Worse than me about it

Then this boy is not stable and you should not be with him anyway.
You say your father is abusing you, so is this young man. He is manipulating you and that is abuse.
I really think you need to talk to someone, a counselor. You have too many things going on in your life. You need a professional to help you sort things out.