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Ima 14 years old my name is Oceanea me and my boyfriend had sex and the condom broke and ima about 8 weeks pregnant 7-27-09 he left me and now ima a 14 year old and a single mom and 8 weeks pregnant I don't know what to do. Yea he nos my mom and dad no not to happy my hole family is seeing that ima getting bigger and they are asking? And I don't know what to do. I need some help really :(
Stop chat speak. Tell your parents now... how old is this guy? You need prenatal care.
If you aren't ready to have a baby you shouldn't be having sex.
Your boyfriend will have to man up and face what is happening.
Yes he will have to be a part of this babies life in one way or another.
If he doesn't want to be then when he gets a job, guess what? He pays child support.
Tell your parents, tell his parents and sort everything out with them.
I'm not sure what advice you are asking for.
Do you want advice on what to do about the child? What to do about the father? What to do about your family?
As noted, this site doesn't allow text speak, so please type in fulol words and sentences so we can understand you better.
You need to have your mom take you to the doctor. And TALK to them about this. You also need to go to a pregnancy support center that will give you the kind of informed counseling you NEED at your age. You can't hide this forever, and the sooner you get help the better.
The last thing you need right now is to feel alone and stressed out over this baby. If your boyfriend can't be there then you need to have family around you who will be, period.
This isn't about you anymore, it's about that baby and any decision you make is going to effect it from now on. I'm sorry you have to go through this, I really am. But you need to talk to your parents and start making some decisions, as a minor your boyfriend can't really do anything without their say.
Start at square one, getting some support. And go from there.
Tell his parents.
Tell your parents.
Get some prenatal care.
Find someone to talk to this about.
Sign up for WIC or something similar, if applicable.
Have yourself a baby, learn from your mistakes, and become a better person.
Go back to school and learn proper English, you're never gong to support that baby without education.
First and most important, you need to tell your parents. You have to get over the fear of telling them, it won't be as bad as you think. They are your parents, thy love you. You have a life growing inside of you, and you can't hide this from everyone. It is unhealthy for the baby to not get doctor visits, and it is unhealthy for you to in deer the stress of keeping this big secret. I would say for right now ( as hard as it is) don't worry about the babies father. Work on your health and the babies, also work on talking with your parents and getting to a support group. Then your family and support group can help you with the babies father situation.
My best friend got pregnant at 17, she was terrified to tell her family. Her parents were very strict. She knew that she had to, and so she got over the fear and just did it. Her family did not react as bad as she had imagined. They were very supportive of her and the child. SO that's just a little story of encouragement. Please let your family know.
How old is your boyfriend?
Does he know you are pregnant?
What does he say about the whole thing other than dumping you?
If anybody pressures you to have an abortion against your will don't do it if you don't want.
Once the baby is born if you keep it go after him for child support
Quite the predicament you are in.
First, I can't understand some of your post and there is a lot of further information needed to help you through this stressful time. Please help by answering some of the above listed questions.
Second, you can't change what happened, but now you have to face your consequences and make some choices, with further information we can help you learn about your options. All of your options are going to require you to talk to your parents.
This is a very serious situation you are in right now. I would listen to what the people here are trying to tell you and tell your parents! So that if you do decide to get an abortion you would have the choice of a pill, if you wait too long you would have to have a surgical abortion or not have one at all and have the baby. Go to these websites, there is some information about abortions. Abortion Information
Abortion - Planned Parenthood
If you do plan to have the baby then you really should try to get child support. It would be easier to give more accurate advice if you posted some answers to the questions people are asking you here.
Okay I took a test to see if I I was pregnant but it came out - but the thing I have all the systems and my tummy looks like I am so I don't know what do how should I take this :confused:
Your tummy wouldn't look like it at two months.
It varies when people will show, but two months is extremely early.
So you're not 100% sure that you're pregnant, you're just going by symptoms and weight gain?Quote:
Originally Posted by Mama to be
You need to go to your doctor and find out for sure. If you are then you have some important decisions to make and you need to make them now.
Talk to your parents, go to the doctor, find out for sure then go from there.
Again, we Do NOT allow chat speak here. Please stop using the text abbreviations.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mama to be
Second, yes you need to go to your doctor. You can ask to speak to him privately without your parents present.
You should check and see if your area (if you are US) has a program called "Nurse Family Partnership"
:: Nurse Family Partnership ::
Also
As Justwantfair stated 8 weeks is really too early to be showing. You really won't see any significant changes until you start going into your second trimester.Quote:
okay I took a test to see if I I was pregnant but it came out - but the thing I have all the systems and my tummy looks like I am so I don't know what do how should I take this
I would also like to know what you consider "all of the symptoms".
Your tummy won't look pregnant at 2 months. At 2 months the fetus is only a few inches long. You can expect to look pregnant at around 4 - 5 months.
I appreciate the kind way you put it. And id like to add, is someone like this needs a lot of support and love.Quote:
Originally Posted by magicgb77
Ok, you might hate me for this. But You HAVE to tell your parents. Unless you plan to have an abortion with out them knowing. Which I really hope you don't. And as for the b.f. focus on him later. You have enough to worry about right now, with out him adding to your problems. Try to fix one thing at a time.
I am 17 and I recently had a pregnancy scare like what you have with some symptoms. I took a pregnancy test and it said not pregnant. Telling your parents about that is the hardest thing a teenager might have to do especially at 14 so imagine me at 17 and scare like hell to tell my parents. If I was pregnant (I'm still not sure because I don't have my periods as yet) I know I had to tell my parents about it and you know you have to as well but it is not easy. Just take your time when you are relaxed and tell them but don't let that be months. (You can read my post with all the advice people gave about telling your parents)
I am a little bit confused about how you know that you are 8 weeks pregnant. The only way to tell if you are really pregnant is by going to a doctor so do that as soon as possible. Forget your boyfriend, you are surrounded by family that loves you. Your boyfriend probably didn't love you, he was maybe using you for sex or something otherwise he won't leave you.
And please write sentences properly so we can help you better.
1. You should not be having sex in the first place
2. Tell your parents. Get it over and done with yah it will be a difficult time but once you tell them they will give you help and support once they know what's wrong
3. If you are not ready to take care of a child (which I am going to assume you are not) you might want to think of your options which inclue, adoption, and abortion.
Good luck.
The parents probubly already knowQuote:
Originally Posted by danielnoahsmommy
How weird would it be if your daughter came home and every day her belly was getting bigger
"hey hun, are you getting fatter?''
As already expressed in this thread, she wouldn't be showing any size changes this early in her pregnancy.Quote:
Originally Posted by AManWithNoName
So, based off that, her family wouldn't know. That isn't to say that they couldn't find out any other way. If they haven't figured it out yet, she should tell them, before they do, and get mad at her for hiding it.
My best friend is 15 and she thought she was pregnant. I was there the whole way with her, and I reminded her every open moment that God has things happen for a reason. Firstly tell your parents. They may be mad at first but eventually they will get over it. Secondly, make sure you have your prenatal care, and are following the "pregnancy diet", keep yourself healthy. As hard as babies can be, they teach you a lot.
First off, yes, you need to tell EVERYONE involved (your parents, boy's parents) because you certainly can't hide a pregnancy, labor, delivery and a child for the next eighteen years.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mama to be
Secondly, if you are only 8 weeks pregnant the fetus would be tiny, like the size of a fingernail. If you are already showing, you need to see a doctor ASAP as you may be much further along than you think.
You need help and support from your family, and you can also get it from your community. Talk to people and thoroughly examine all of your options. You have choices, but you need to talk to someone first before you can access any of them.
WoW
You have to tell your parents before you get into deep. Just sit them down nice and calm tell them your sorry for it, and Im sure the will back you up. Any parent should back you up no matter what, that's their job.
And try to find a way to get the Baby's daddy on child support quick.
Good luck sweetie
Um she's 14. Its likely the father is not too much older, What is he going to pay support with?Quote:
Originally Posted by miss 226
I couldn't give any better advice right than what is given. But plan 1--talk to your parents. They will get mad, but they will also help you find out if you are pregnant, get you prenatal care, tell the father you're pregnant, tell the father's parents, and help you make important decisions.
THIS WON'T GO AWAY.
We haven't heard from her for 3 days, I hope everything is OK. I'm getting kind of worried because this is a big issue. I just hope she told her parents. It's hard to believe someone my age is pregnant. Haven't people heard of waiting until marriage? Hello that's why it's called abstinence, you're supposed to abstain from sex, didn't you listen in health class? Jeese!! There would be less teen pregnancies if people actually waited.
I agree... most people that come here for this sort of question, get their answer and split. SO we rarely hear updates back. I hope she isn't pregnant. I have a 14-year-old cousin that just found out that she was pregnant with her second kid. Her first was born after her twelfth birthday. Some kids are just stupid. They don't understand the consequences to their actions.
I agree that some people can be just plain stupid. My cousin got pregnant just before she turned 15. She is in her late 20's and is a dope head and sleeping around and she just had her second child who has a different father than the first. And she has also been "experimenting" with the same sex. I'm not against the whole gender preference thing, but she isn't married and is setting a bad example for her children. i'm not saying that this person will be the same way, but my cousin's actions have just been going down hill since her teen pregnancy. I really feel sorry for her children because they have to grow up in this type of environment.
And, this ONE bad example's two children, become TWO bad examples, and it goes from there.Quote:
Originally Posted by THEpurplepeanut
It's easy to see, especially if you know about exponential growth, how it spirals out of control so quickly. Let's implement Aldous Huxley's Brave New World solution, steralize most of the population! :D
PS: I see you changed your avatar again!
Lol I like the kitty! I have so many pictures I can't chooseQuote:
Originally Posted by HelpinHere
And the only reason why my cousin is like this is because my aunt is a lying, stealing, cheating person. And all of her children have different fathers. I'm glad my other two cousins from that family are good people. My cousin aron is marrying a great person who he has been with for at least 8 years. I'm so happy for him.
The OP hasn't been back in a few days.
I think we should wait until she comes back and updates us before this thread turns into a soap box.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScottGem
Its doesn't matter how old he is, once he's on child support, He will have to take the responsibility he shouldn't have left. And Find away to support the baby.
Its better then not helping out at all it it?
She can't get child support until after the baby is born.Quote:
Originally Posted by miss 226
If he's smart he'll get a DNA test done before accepting anything.
And yes, it does matter how old he is, you can't get blood from a stone. You can't get money from someone that's not old enough to work.
Hi Volkwagen.
I realise you are new but this is a question and answer board.
If you do not have something constructive or helpful to say then perhaps you should stick to the "Discussion" section of this site.
EDIT - Never mind - post was removed, thanks mods.
But if he has no income, there is no support to be paid! The court is not going to order support in such a situation. Maybe when he grows up and gets a job she can hit him for support, but its not worth the time now.Quote:
Originally Posted by miss 226
I don't know if it is the same in America as it is here but a good friend of mine pays child support and it is a certain percentage of his wage.Quote:
Originally Posted by ScottGem
There is no set amount, only a percentage of what he earns, no job = no payments.
Closed, the soap box is out
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