Ask Me Help Desk - What if it's not what I want?

What if it's not what I want?

Threads merged and moved.

OK so what if your dating a 16 year old and your olny 13?and he wants to do things your not ready for.. but your in love with him?and you don't feel like you have a choice?:(

OK so I'm dating a 16 year but this week I was in powell spending time with one of my guy friends and I think I might like my cousin was txting him and I looked at the text messages and found out he likes me to and I'm 13 and he is also... but I really like the 16 year old that I've been dateing...

YOU GET OUT of the relationship
You NEVER do something you feel pressured into. If he can not respect you then he is not right for you.

Tell him you are jail bait because you are only 13.

There are plenty of guys you will fall for through the years and then you will wish you hadn't given into your lust for him.
You aren't IN love, you are in love with the idea of being with the eye candy.

Find somebody in your league that respects you. He is too fast paced for you.

So what is the question AND why are you posting on the adult board and not the teen board?

I have read your other posts - interesting background if anyone has the time and energy to read your answers.

When is school back in session again?

School should be year around judging by the lack of thought and common sense that goes into Shelby's answers... I immediately feel dumber by reading her posts.

Carry on fellow adults... :cool:

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

So what is the question AND why are you posting on the adult board and not the teen board?

I have read your other posts - interesting background if anyone has the time and energy to read your answers.

When is school back in session again?

well I don't know and why would I need to know when school starts back I'm getting home schooled and what do you mean by that?

Quote:

Originally Posted by shelbybelle13

well idk and y would i need to know when school starts back i'm getting home schooled and what do u mean by that?

She means the home school isn't working. Where is your common sense?

To answer your question, you are 13... I am NO parent but I would suggest you back away from dating anyone at your age, especially a 16 year old. I know my hypothetical daughter would be nowhere near a 16 year old at that age. Guys suck, believe me, I am one. At that age (13) just enjoy being friends with as many people as possible, but don't limit yourself to "dating" guys... we ordinarily aren't worth it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by shelbybelle13

well idk and y would i need to know when school starts back i'm getting home schooled and what do u mean by that?

We don't allow text talk here, please complete your words.

I don't know - I don't know
Y - why
U - you

Well you kow where I'm from adults are like friends to us NOT evil people that want to make fun of you... ever went 2 church.. well maybe it's time!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by shelbybelle13

well you kow where i'm from adults are like friends to us NOT evil ppl that want to make fun of you...ever went 2 church..well maybe it's time!!!!!!

Have you ever been to a church that calls gay people "fags"? I haven't... swallow your own words young one. Read my above advice for your situation. Enjoy life, dating complicates things, so don't date just yet. ENJOY!!

Carry on... :cool:

Quote:

Originally Posted by kctiger

She means the home school isn't working. Where is your common sense?

To answer your question, you are 13...I am NO parent but I would suggest you back away from dating anyone at your age, especially a 16 year old. I know my hypothetical daughter would be nowhere near a 16 year old at that age. Guys suck, believe me, I am one. At that age (13) just enjoy being friends with as many people as possible, but don't limit yourself to "dating" guys...we ordinarily aren't worth it.

umm I'm just starting home school this year last year and all the years before I went to public school I'm not stupid.. I'm a higher class than all my friends are...

Again, text talk is NOT allowed on this site.

If you don't want to hear what adults who actually act like adults and parents, then DON'T post in the Adult board.

Adults are supposed to set an example and set rules and regulations for teens, not be their friends. And just because adults are being adults, and you don't like what they have to say, doesn't make them evil. Plus I am sure that a lot of these adults on this board probably go to church already!

Quote:

Originally Posted by shelbybelle13

umm i'm just starting home school this year last year and all the years before i went to public school i'm not stupid..i'm a higher class than all my friends are...

Did you read any of my advice?

So your unsure who you want to be with--your cousin (did I read correctly) or the 16 year old? What does your mother say?

Quote:

Originally Posted by kctiger

Have you ever been to a church that calls gay people "fags"? I haven't...swallow your own words young one. Read my above advice for your situation. Enjoy life, dating complicates things, so don't date just yet. ENJOY!!!

Carry on...:cool:

well my dad built the church so I go everyday we have it.. and I'm allowed to date I already have plenty of times I just don't know what 2 do...

Quote:

Originally Posted by liz28

So your unsure who you want to be with--your cousin (did I read correctly) or the 16 year old? What does your mother say?

No it's my cousin was txting a guy I like and he likes me back but I also like the 16 yr. old

Well as a 13 year old I would advise you AGAINST dating a 16 year old. You are young and impressionable... stick to your age group if you are going to date. Again, just my opinion as I know you will do what you want.

Well, my advice is to date someone your own age, just as kc suggested. He already told you that boys at the age of 16 only think with a certain head and it isn't the one on their shoulders! You are too young to be dating in my opinion, espically if you are asking if you should date someone your own age that likes you and you like them, or if you should date someone who is 3 years older than you and more experienced than you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kctiger

Did you read any of my advice?

yes and I've went on my first date when I was only 12 yrs. Old my dad said it was OK and yes it was a real date because our parents we not there

Quote:

Originally Posted by shelbybelle13

well as a matter of fact my dad built the church so i go everyday we have it..and i'm allowed to date i already have plenty of times i just dnt know what 2 do...

Please write in complete sentences, and use correct grammar, punctuation, and spelling.

So what if your dad built the church? You go every day (That's two words, not one.) and you use the word "fag"?

Quote:

Originally Posted by shelbybelle13

yes and as a matter of fact i've went on my first date when i was only 12 yrs. old my dad said it was ok and yes it was a real date because our parents we not there

He is not telling you NOT to date. We already know that your parents allow you to date at 13! You have said that over and over.

Interesting that OP stated on another board that it is illegal for a 23 yr old to date a 17 yr old but not thinking of the consequences of a 13 yr old dating a 16 yr old.

Anyway guys aren't the candy store where you go in and pick this one and then that one.
YOU have to decide who you would prefer to be with. It isn't good to get into a relationship only to break it off for someone else any more than it is okay to cheat on the one you are with.
You got into a bf/gf thing with this other guy so you either break it off and see this one or you do the right thing and see the relationship you are in through.

Also I can see how some got confused with your cousin thing since you used txt and didn't use punctuation

Why do you have the friends you have if you feel your in a higher class than them?

If your parents are okay with you dating a 16 year old then what was the purpose behind this question especially since your trashing evryone answers?

You might think you know everything at 13 but you don't. You have a lot of growing up to do. Also, going to church everyday doesn't make your better than anyone else. When I used to attend church the Minister's kids were the worst than the other teenagers and got away with a lot while he gave the rest of the teenager hell. Glad I stopped going there and found a better church.

Nohelp said exactly what I was thinking!

Men (or in this case BOYS) are NOT kleenex. You can't just use them for your purpose and then get a new one. Its more like a wash cloth. Sure, it gets dirty sometimes, and even boring, you want to change it up, maybe get a green one instead of that plain old white one. But you don't. You wash it out, and if you need a change, you get some tyedye and fix it.

Does ANYONE understand what I'm trying to say here?

From the sounds of your other posts, and from the way your talking in this one, I have to agree that regardless of what your father is allowing, you are just not ready for the big bad world of BOYS. 13 year old are suppose to be having sleepovers with other girls and staying up all night drinking soda and eating popcorn and talking about stickers and hair styles and nails and clothes. Your just not emotionally ready for a relationship of this kind.

And you are asking whether you should stop seeing him and start seeing a 13 year old your own age? This is what KC was referring to in your other thread when he said that older boys are no good!

You are definitely NOT old enough to be dating!

You always have a choice! If you don't want to, then DON'T. You need to save your virginity for someone who really cares about you. If he doesn't want to be with you because you don't want to have sex with him, then tell him to HIT THE ROAD! Seriously!

And you don't know what love is at 13 years old. Sorry to break the news to you.

You don't do it and if he can't respect that then he doesn't respect you. Even if you are in love with him he is not in love with you because if he was he would not be putting pressure on you like this. I don't know him but I do know 16 year olds and his thinking is she is a little girl who will do whatever I want. I don't mean to be ignorant but I'm telling you that is how he is thinking.

Have you read her other thread about the 16 year old who wants to do things that she isn't ready for, but she loves him and doesn't feel like she has a choice? And now she is wondering whether she should be with a 16 year old or a 13 year old her own age. Plus, she wasn't even listening to KC when he gave her the advice that he did.

If you're not ready for those "things" then you can say that you aren't ready. You DO have a choice no matter what. What would make you think you don't have a choice?

Quote:

Originally Posted by ANB428

Have you read her other thread about the 16 year old who wants to do things that she isn't ready for, but she loves him and doesn't feel like she has a choice? And now she is wondering whether she should be with a 16 year old or a 13 year old her own age. Plus, she wasn't even listening to KC when he gave her the advice that he did.

It's OK, I am used to it... most women DO NOT listen to me... ;)

:) I don't know why, you have a lot of great advice. I usually try to listen to you when you give me advice. :)

I'd LOVE to have a conversation with your dad about the boys you date. Your cousin? 13 vs/ 16? Why even bother asking for advice if you are just going to be argumentative and incomprehensible?

I listen to you KC :D always. :) remmeber the sandwhiches and brownies I made you? ;)

Hopefully she will listen and just stop dating all together for at least a year or 2

No it isn't her cousin it is her cousins friend that's where txting and lack of punctuation gets you!

She says she is more intelligent than kids her age but there is a difference between book smarts and the school of hard knocks.
Another destined to learn the hard way.

I guess you didn't listen to the advice in your other thread. This is why a 13 year old shouldn't be dating a 16 year old. And your parents are foolish if they really allow this.

I think you need to talk to your parents about this stuff. If your dad is so open to the idea of you dating, or as you said on your other thread,"going on your first date at 12." Then you should be able to talk to them about these situations. Otherwise it should lead you to use a bit more common sense and stop hanging out with boys who are a little too much for you right now.

I'm terribly confused by everything you are saying. I don't understand your question or your story. Can you please explain more clearly? Please, spell out your words and type out whole sentences. I'm sure everyone here is confused too. Help us help you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by shelbybelle13

umm i'm just starting home school this year last year and all the years before i went to public school i'm not stupid..i'm a higher class than all my friends are...

- In that case I can't IMAGINE what the friends are like, how they read and write - example from another thread: "I've went on dates ..."

Shudder -

Quote:

Originally Posted by shelbybelle13

no it's my cousin was txting a guy i like and he likes me back but i also like the 16 yr. old

You have posted the law as you read it on another thread - what does the law say about this?

Quote:

Originally Posted by shelbybelle13

ok so i'm dating a 16 year but this week i was in powell spending time with one of my guy friends and i think i might like my cousin was txting him and i looked at the txt messages and found out he likes me to and i'm 13 and he is also...but i really like the 16 year old that i've been dateing...

Ok so I'm dating a 16 year old, but this week I was in Powell spending time with one of my guy friends I think I might like.
My cousin was txting him (the 13 yr old that she MIGHT like) and I looked at the txt messages and found out he likes me too. I'm 13 and he is also...but i really like the 16 year old that i've been dating....

BUT he (the 16 yr old) is pressuring you for sex which you do not feel comfortable with.
How far is Powell and what is the likelihood you would really get to be dating him if distance is a factor?

I think you need to go on your own and be a 13 yr old for awhile like the others have said.

Her dad needs to put his little darling on a very, very short leash or he's going to be a grandpa much, much, much sooner than he even guesses or wants the rate she's going. In my opinion she should not be dating boys and left alone. If I knew who her dad was I'd turn him into the CPS.

No Nose piercing but dating boys with no supervision. And this father is supposed to be a minister? Sorry, I'm not buying the story here. Have anything better to make up? Whatever church he's pastor at I'm certain there must be a rash of pregnant teenagers due to very poor parenting skills. And her mom said it was okay to get her nose pierced... what for moron is her mom? I also question just who is the parent in this family as well.

I susspect most of what she is telling us are lies. I'm skeptical that her father is a minister, she may be lying to make us trust his judgement better. Same issue along the lines of 'oh you can trust my judgement in this medical issue, I'm a doctor! I promise!"