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-   -   I don't know if I made the wrong mistake (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=368282)

  • Jun 23, 2009, 02:48 PM
    tommyboy123
    I don't know if I made the wrong mistake
    So I met this girl about 2 years ago, and we were just really good friends. I talked to her everyday, I texted her and she would text me. My one really good friend that's a boy is really good friends with her as well, so were basically her two really good friends. She has a boyfriend though that she been going out with for about 1 year but she never really hangs out with him and he treats her like crap sometimes. She always wants to hang out with me and my friend, and she always has a lot of fun. I make her laugh a lot and we always have a good time. Yesterday we went out to dinner and we were in the back seat and I had to put my arm around her (nothing serious) because we were crammed in the car. It didn't seem like she minded it and she didn't say anything about it. When we got inside to eat she would stand by me and sit next to me, etc. After we were done, I did the same thing on the way home, I had my arm around her because we were crammed in the car. After we got back home she said goodbye to both me and my friend. I then got home and my friend told me that she was texting him and I/Ming him. Its not that I'm jealous but I was curious of what she was telling him. Was she telling him that she felt uncomfortable with my arm around her? was she mad? etc. When it comes to these situations I always feel self-conscious about myself. I'm a really nice kid and I didn't mean to make her feel uncomfortable in anyway. Sometimes I even think that she likes me?? Any advice on what to do, or on what she may have been talking about to my good friend?? I'm kind of worried.
  • Jun 23, 2009, 02:55 PM
    Justwantfair
    Why not ask either one of them and clear the air.
    They are your friends, that is what I would want my friend to do for me.
    Not to sit at home worried about it, but be comfortable enough to check with me if he had your kindof concerns.
  • Jun 23, 2009, 02:56 PM
    DrJ

    Is there ever a right mistake?
  • Jun 23, 2009, 02:59 PM
    jenniepepsi

    Mmm I'm not sure what the problem is here... are you jealous? She isn't your girlfriend is she? Your all friends aren't you?
  • Jun 23, 2009, 03:01 PM
    tommyboy123

    Yea were all good friends but some girls get mad and creeped out by weird things, so I don't know if that's the case?
  • Jun 23, 2009, 03:02 PM
    jenniepepsi

    I doubt it was something you did hon. She may just be that way. Give her time to calm down and she may go back to normal.
  • Jun 23, 2009, 03:05 PM
    DrJ

    What they were texting or IMing about is really none of your business.

    You didn't do anything wrong (from what you are telling us) so you shouldn't worry about it.
  • Jun 23, 2009, 03:06 PM
    DrJ
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by tommyboy123 View Post
    yea were all good friends but some girls get mad and creeped out by wierd things, so I don't know if thats the case?

    You can't spend your life worrying about offending people or creeping them out. What you did was harmless. If she is creeped out about it, SHE is the one with the issues... not you.
  • Jun 23, 2009, 03:07 PM
    tommyboy123
    Yea I don't think she's mad but I don't know. She doesn't get mad at little things like that usually, but who knows.
  • Jun 23, 2009, 03:10 PM
    DrJ

    Tommy.. Im telling a piece of advice that can save you forever.. Live your life the way you want to live it and don't concern yourself wondering or worrying about if a girl is mad.

    If she is mad, she will tell you. Maybe it will be your fault or maybe it will be her mixed up head. Either way, confront it and deal with it when it becomes apparent. One of the worst things that a girl wants to constantly hear is you always asking "are you mad?"
  • Jun 23, 2009, 03:19 PM
    tommyboy123
    Yea that's very true, just feels awkward because I've known her for so long and its bothering me
  • Jun 23, 2009, 03:25 PM
    DrJ
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by tommyboy123 View Post
    yea thats very true, just feels awkward because I've known her for so long and its bothering me

    Those are your own inadequacies making your feel that way. Do away with those feelings. They will bring you nothing but suffering.
  • Jun 23, 2009, 03:46 PM
    tommyboy123

    Anyone else have advice or what is going on?
  • Jun 23, 2009, 03:51 PM
    DrJ

    What kind of answers are you looking for? No one can tell you what they were talking about but them.

    And I am telling you, you do not want to go asking them what they were talking about. 1) its none of your business and 2) you will come off as an over-insecure person. Both of these will potentially drive this girl away from you...

    Ok, I won't chime in anymore. If you keep asking, I am sure someone will tell you what you want to hear.
  • Jun 23, 2009, 04:23 PM
    tommyboy123

    I appreciate your answers but I was just wondering if anyone else had anything to say.
  • Jun 23, 2009, 04:24 PM
    jenniepepsi

    What kind of answer are you looking for?


    Yes its ALL your fault. You're a screw up. Bow down and beg her for forgiveness...


    Is that good?

    I don't know what more we can tell you other than what we have.
  • Jun 23, 2009, 06:44 PM
    talaniman
    This is a lot of worry over nothing. Yeah, your jealous of your friends, or just nosy. Leave it alone, and let it go.
  • Jul 13, 2009, 09:02 AM
    tommyboy123
    I don't know if this girl likes me
    Threads merged

    . She hangs out with us more and has a really good time when hanging out with us. Most of all the funny things I say even if there not really that funny she laughs too. Is this a sign that she may like me? She also textes me almost everyday, and we usually have long conversations. The only thing that's getting me confused is that she has a boyfriend, and I don't know if she likes me. Any advice please!
  • Jul 13, 2009, 09:15 AM
    kctiger

    She has a boyfriend, so my advice is to back off. Whether she likes you doesn't matter, as she is taken.
  • Jul 13, 2009, 09:18 AM
    007bradz

    Just wait, and continue as you are.
    Surely, you don't want to wreck what another couple has. Plus, you may only know the tip of the iceberg about their relationship.

    If she does like you - something will happen.
    Unless you have a terminal illness waiting won't hurt.
  • Jul 13, 2009, 09:37 AM
    tommyboy123

    Yea but I think she is going away to college, so it would be down the drain anyway :(
  • Jul 13, 2009, 09:45 AM
    I wish

    Simple. She has a boyfriend so she's off limits.

    The reason she's talking to you so much is because she sees you as a really good friend. So she's very comfortable with you.

    Furthermore, if you say her boyfriend doesn't treat her right, but she's still staying with him, it means there's more to the story than you think. She obviously sees something else in him that you don't, which is keeping her in the relationship.

    Stick to being friends with her if you can handle it. She's so comfortable with the friendship. If she finds out that you like her, she might not talk to you as much anymore, for the fear that she might lead you on.
  • Jul 13, 2009, 10:44 AM
    tommyboy123
    OK
  • Jul 13, 2009, 11:50 AM
    Katt1997

    Many girls who have a boyfriend like another boy (though not all of the time). She might not tell you if she likes you because her boyfriend might find out and be mad. I think that's a sign that she likes you. Next time you're with her, take things to the next level by asking her questions and stuff like that to find out more clues to if she likes you! Hope this helps!
  • Jul 13, 2009, 11:51 AM
    kctiger
    Not a good idea to encourage someone to enable a cheating situation! :rolleyes:
  • Jul 13, 2009, 11:56 AM
    jmooney527
    She has a boyfriend already. She told you she likes him. Respect her and don't mess with it.
  • Jul 13, 2009, 01:54 PM
    talaniman

    Quote:

    She has a boyfriend though that she been going out with for about 1 year but she never really hangs out with him and he treats her like crap sometimes
    She has a boyfriend, and your just one of her hang out buddies. What, do you expect her to cheat on her b/f, behind his back?
  • Jul 13, 2009, 02:02 PM
    tommyboy123
    I Really Don't Know What To Do?
    Threads merged

    I was just trying to get some advice from some people on these forums. This may sound stupid, funny, etc, but its really bothering me so I thought the best way to get it out of my system would be to let it all out on here and get some advice from you guys. I met this girl about 8 months ago, and we became really good friends. My one other good friend is really good friends with her as well and me and him hang out with her all the time. Just so you guys know she does have a boyfriend. I know that you guys will say that since she has a boyfriend then don't try to do anything to screw up their relationship, which is perfectly fine, and I would never do anything to screw it up since she is a really good friend of mine. Although she has a boyfriend she hangs out with us more then her boyfriend. Also her boyfriend will sometimes pick his friends over her and sometimes he may treat her like sh**. Every time my friend, me and her hang out, she has a really good time, and she laughs at a lot of things that I say. I just don't know if she likes me or not?? She also texts me everyday and we have long conversations. When all 3 of us hang out she usually laughs at whatever I say and won't really laugh at whatever he says. I don't know if this is a sign or not that she likes me? She also tells me a lot of stuff about her relationship with her boyfriend and if she ever has a problem with it she comes to me and asks me for advice. I'm come to the conclusion that my feelings for this girl are becoming very strong, but I feel like I can't do anything about it. She will be going away to college very soon, and I won't see her as much as I do now. She may like me and I just don't know it, or she just trusts me as a really good friend and has a good time when she is around me. I really don't know, but its really getting me upset, and sometimes even depressed. Do you guys have any advice of what may be going on, or what I can do to get her off my mind. Thanks again.
  • Jul 13, 2009, 02:53 PM
    N0help4u

    Right now it is probably best that you just be the best friend you can be and let her know that if she ever needs to talk about anything that you are there for her.
    Right now she is probably okay with where things are in the relationship and you saying anything about liking her more may just confuse her.
    She has to in her own time decide if she wants to leave her boyfriend and then you can be there to pick up the pieces. If you say anything now it could make her feel like you are putting her in an awkward position.
  • Jul 13, 2009, 03:03 PM
    Chey5782
    I agree.

    Never ever start something off on a potential bad foot. Wait until she is free to act on it. I can see you are expressing a lot of valid reasons for a crush here, but the boyfriend invalidates them. Unless she comes to you and expresses these feelings, I would suggest doing nothing about them, it takes a strong and moral person so suffer in silence because it is better for the other person. She will figure out that he may not be best for her in her own time. But don't make your waiting around for her to be free become a reason you are her friend. I've never seen that work out.

    Leave it alone. Two wrongs don't make a right. Take the left turn in Albuquerque! Be the guy who does it right for the girl he cares about, but if he does become single, take the time to express an interest in a way that makes her notice you. Otherwise you will be doomed to best friends status.
  • Jul 13, 2009, 04:02 PM
    Torrid13

    I would just leave it alone. She's in a relationship that probably not going to last very long when she goes to college, and then you'll never really see her anyway. Just continue being her friend for right now.

    She's probably aware of the changes that will be happening in her life, so just give her some breathing room.

    She's not available right now, anyway. If it goes sour, you'll be there, and in time you can tell her how you feel. But still, remember she's going to college and things will likely change. Good luck.

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