 |
My boyfriend gets mad at me if I wear anything too revealing around other people, but he loves it when I wear them around him, he says he doesn't want any other guys to be looking at me like that. I don't usually like wearing short shorts and low cut shirts, but it's summer and that's what I've always worn. Should I change the way I dress?
NO! Don't change because of a man. No, you're not a bad girlfriend. This is the first sign of a controlling man. All you need to do is tell him that you have your own style, and he's no influence on it.
No. If he can't accept the way you dress that is his problem not yours. My wife would have knocked me out if I would have told her not to dress a certain way when we were dating.
If he doesn't respect you the way you are, he'll respect you less for rolling over and playing dead and letting him make decisions for you.
Control and he seems to be very jealous and possesive, this is just the start it seems to me first he wants to tell you how to dress, next thing you know he'll want a say in every aspect of your life. Stop him dead in his tracks before it goes to far tell him NO you are not going to chaange your dressing and he is going to have to learn how to trust you.
I would leave him. Trust me, I was in a relationship like that and it was like I was a new person when I left. Want to know why? Cause I was with him for so long, I forgot WHO I WAS. And it was nice to be me again.
I never understood guys who get mad when their girlfriends dress in shorts and tank tops etc... Me I love it when guys stare at my wife. I know she isn't going anywhere. Guys hit on her with me sitting right there and she just laughs at them. I guess it is a trust thing.
Touché! My boyfriend does the same thing. I think it boosts his ego when guys take a second look, cause he knows he's got gold on his arm. And that's where I'm staying.
He sounds very insecure. Don't let him tell you how to dress. Dress the way you feel the most comfortable in.
This is definitely a mini red flag. Let's hope he's not the controlling type of boyfriend.
If you allow him to control what you wear next he will telling where to go and who to hang out with.
I like Spitvenom wife because I would've just slapped him in the face and gave him a piece of mind.
Never let a guy tell u what u can and cannot waer OK. It is just a controlling thing.
Dummfounded you should get the picture that you aren't a bad girlfriend by now but you would be foolish to stay with this.
A lot of teens are in unhealthy relationsips and don't even realize it. I bet he try to make you out to be the bad guy because that wants controlling guys down. It is never their fault but it is always yours and they try to lower your esteem.
Please remove yourself from this relationship and I hope you return.
You know what? I actually disagree with most of these comments.. why?
If your girlfriend is dressing very innapropriately away from you.. well why would she do this? IT is for boy'z attention.. that's a red flag. If she is devoted to you then she wouldn't want or need to feel accepted from other guys.
Now of course the dude shouldn't say "Change, I am very upset with your decision to show ur tits" BUT.. he should say "Sweety, I am uncomftorable with what you are wearing. I love you and I trust you but I would appreciate if you dressed in less revealing attire."
"break up with him?" -ChihuahuaMomma
Terrible advice
He's controlling. So, yes break up with him. It will only get worse.
MOST of the girls that I know wear what they want not for BOYS attention, but for GIRLS attention. Girls compete with each other, that's their nature. They want to be more in fashion than the girl next to them. They want girls to comment on their new shoes, or that super cute scarf. I've never ever put on a piece of clothing hoping that when I talked to a man he would stare at my chest, and not listen to what I'm saying.
Clean1 so if she goes to the beach with out him is she supposed to wear a turtleneck? If it is 95 degrees out and he is not with her is she suppose to wear jeans and a long sleeve shirt. Why should she feel uncomfortable be cause he is uncomfortable? The fact is he should have enough trust and respect for her not to be bothered by what she wears. And regardless how you say it asking or telling someone how to dress is controlling.
ChihuahuaMomma is right most women dress certain ways to get the attention of other girls.
Clean1 I wonder if your another poster posting under another user name. Things that make you go hmmm!
I disagree. A girl should be able to wear whatever she wants. It's getting warmer out and if I could walk around in a swim suit right now I would. I hate still being so white. I need some color!Quote:
Originally Posted by clean1
No don't change something you have always done because a guy thinks differently.
I can see where he would be angry if you were wearing something that was completely revealing to the point where it looked trashy but if it is just short shorts and low cut tops with good class then whatever I wouldn't sweat it. If it is acceptable for you to wear in public with him it is acceptable for you to wear in public with your girls.
If I want my cleavage to tan while running errands, I will. And yes the MAN that I am with trusts and respects me enough to not give two poots how I dress. He loves me for me not my hot attire!
And you know what? Every woman deserves to wear what she feels the most beautiful in. If that happens to offend or make someone else uncomfortable, SO WHAT??
To add to that, if she feels beautiful in something and the man that is supposed to support her the most says she looks skanky, what do you think that does to her self esteem?
I agree with a lot of you but I also disagree. A woman's love is not put on a scale of what she wears BUT it can be misleading if your girlfriend is going out with the ladies in a mini skirt and a tube top. Am I wrong?
I trust my girlfriend almost 100% but I still get bothered when she wears revealing clothing like a tube top that shows her tits when she bends over.. am I wrong to be frustrated that dudes are most likely checking out her tits without her knowing? Uhm, yes I should be.
However, if your boyfriend is down your neck about what you wear all the time that is in fact a problem and you should tell him how it is "I love you ____ and I am completely faithful to you, its really hot out and I would like to wear clothes that are comfortable" or something like that. BUT! You are in a relationship and it can be deemed inappropriate if you are wearing clothes to get guys attention.
Its your life though, and if he appears to be very controlling and assume he owns you or the power in the relationship.. perhaps you should sit him down and tell him how it is.
No your not a bad girlfriend stay with what your comfortable with if he loved you enough he would not care what you were wearing. He should love you for who you are! Its all about trust an so what if other men were to look at you if your not going after them it fine this is his problem not yours! Good look and stay possitive x
Don't let him be controlling otherwise he'll do it with everything, put your foot down.
If he doesn't trust u enough then lose the loser.
Very insecure and once you give in to that request more will follow... many many more.
Does he stare at other women that wear short shorts and low cut tops??
Had to share the rep nohelp, but you are right on the money in my opinion.
First is starts with the clothes, then the makeup, then the way you talk, walk, etc. etc. etc.
It is ALL about control, and those that control in this manner are insecure. Very often when women allow themselves to be 'moulded' and controlled this way, they open themselves up for serious repercussions when they don't obey, and stay within the comfort level of the one who has the power over them.
If you give up your own personal power, and succumb to the control and domination by another, it will affect you emotionally, physically, psychologically more and more as the relationship goes on. You'll find yourself wanting to please him to avoid trouble, and hang on his every word.
Don't give in to this. Nobody, and I mean nobody, has the absolute right to define, determine, and control, who you are.
I would say that if you let him start now, it will only lead to grief.
I have the same problem with my boyfriend, I would just suggest not to give in, you are being you and he should love you for who you are and not try to change you.
All right, this is coming from another teenager, my boyfriend tells me the same things, and I've learnt to realize that I have to understand that I can't be too revealing but then again yeah it is summer, don't wear low cut tops but wear things that show skin, but don't over do it, remember he is your boyfriend, no guy wants another guy to see their girlfriend in a way they would only want to see her.
Don't change for him
He should trust that you isn't going to do anything with other guys and I think that he should love for other guys to look at you because he can show you off to the world and know that you are still his... just my opinion.
And when I say you're his, I don't mean that he owns you
I think the collective decision here is: Don't change for anyone!!
If your girlfriend is wearing a bra size way too big to the point that all her breasts are exposed when she bends over, is that acceptable? Should the boyfriend just sit back and say whatev, its her body?
He may not like it, but she should not allow him to demand that she coverup.
Why do young women think it is okay for a boyfriend, to determine how they should look, or what is acceptable to wear in public, and what is not.
Do any of the young women here think this is a potential problem, or is it just part of being in a relationship in your opinion. Are there any red flags to that?
Curious why is all.
So you think it is acceptable to flaunt your private parts around when you are in a committed relationship?Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake2008
No, he should not demand that she cover up but he should make sure she knows that he is uncomfortable with her showing other guys what should only be showed to him. Do you agree?
What you don't get is that the point I am making is, a girlfriend is not the property of her boyfriend. A wife is not the property of her husband, etc.
How a person dresses, behaves, their morals, values, sense of independence, confidence etc. should not be dictated by what their partner thinks is acceptable to them.
I would not choose to let my boobs hang out, because that is not something I would do. But, if bimbo head wishes to let hers fall out, that is her choice. If her boyfriend doesn't like it, perhaps he should choose a different kind of partner.
He cannot demand, insist, threaten, or make his girlfriend do anything she doesn't choose to do.
And to think I burned my best bra to defend choice, and in 2009, women still cave when their boyfriends demand it.
Hm, I didn't say that the boyfriend had to control the girlfriend. I said do you think it acceptable that the girlfriend is flaunting her body around while in a committed relationship? :confused:Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake2008
Wearing a revealing shirt isn't flaunting. Girls like to wear what makes them feel pretty. It doesn't mean that if she puts on a shirt that shows a bit of cleavage she wants to sleep with every guy that walks past. That's ridiculous.
So you think it is acceptable to allow other guys to see your goodies even when in a relationship. Okay, I respect your opinion. Don't agree with it, but I will respect it.
A bit of cleavage isn't "goodies". I think you are exaggerating. You're acting like she's walking around without pants on or a skirt with no underwear. So should women in relationships wear Moo-moos? I enjoy looking nice for myself and my man, and if I'm showing cleavage, he doesn't care. Cause he knows that I'm feeling pretty & I'm going home with him no matter what.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma
What do you define as cleavage? I am stating if your girlfriend or you is wearing a bra that is far too big and easily shows your whole breasts, is that not considered "goodies?" I am pretty sure it is. Would you be comfortable with your boyfriend wearing shorts that are so short that his penis is viewable by other females and males?
Getting back to the original poster here, the question was, "Should I change the way I dress?"Quote:
Originally Posted by dummfounded
The answer of course, is absolutely not.
CGM91- Everybody is going to have an opinion on the OP's question. Maybe she will come back and let us all know what she thinks of it all.
You schouldent ware them because if u love him u sld olny want him look at u and no one elce
This post is over a year old. Any more advice won't really affect the situation, I don't think. Although I disagree with your point of view.
| All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:40 AM. |