All threads merged for a clear picture.

OK I was going to a new school and had no friends nothing my parents had just decided to get a divorce and now I am on the verge of losing who became my best friend.

I decided to go over to my friends house while he was house sitting for his sister so we could hang out for a bit and just chill like we usually do. And by time I left the next day we had had sex and completely messed up our relationship.

Now he is not speaking to me I'm worried I might be pregnant with his kid. And a whole lot of other things that are just making the situation difficult. He thinks that once the kid is born if I am pregnant he is going to fight and try and get full rights over the kid but first he told me that if I was pregnant that he wanted me to get it aborted and now he's saying he wants full rights he won't even speak to me or help me to anything to make sure I'm safe let alone the kid safe I'm pretty sure that I am pregnant but I don't have a bed/ couch to sleep on all he has to say to me is too bad and I don't care. I was very hurt my this boy. He told me that he felt safe with me and I told him the same it was hard for me to even do that let alone have sex with him. I even went out on a limb and told him all my feelings for him and he just turned around and smashed my heart into a million pieces I can't seem to even begin putting back together. He told me he had feelings for me too and that's why I guess I melted like butter into his hands.

What do I do? How do I get him to talk to me again? How do I figure out his true feelings for me? I'm confused and frustrated what do I do?

It seems that he didn't even care about you.
He just wanted a quick fling, and now that that is over, he doesn't want anything to do with you. I may be wrong, but I think you got used.

What exactly makes you think you're pregnant?

That's the problem with many men/boys. Once the word "pregnant" comes out so do their true colors. Many will say anything that they have to in order to get a woman in bed. This sounds like this is one of those circumstances. How old are you? You say that you don't have a bed/couch to sleep on. Where do you live then? Are you still in school?

I am 18 and I live where I can find a place to sleep this blake kid was a virgin when all this happened and I think I am pregnant because it wasn't protected and I'm getting very moody. Not to mention that I wasn't on any type of birth control so I could very well be. I graduate in June

I am currently with a guy a don't want to be with I am only with him because he has a safe place for me to sleep what do I do he's obsessed what if he kills himself when I leave

You can't allow someone to keep you a prisoner because you are afraid he will kill himself.
He needs medical help and you can call your local mental health facility if he is threatening suicide.They will admit him for a 24 to 72 hour evaluation and determine what help he needs.
He needs professional help.

You also shouldn't be just using him either.

I would try to find a new place to sleep, since he has different intentions for your relationship then what you are looking for.

Is he actually suisidal?

There's more symptoms to pregnancy than that, you should check them out and go get a pregnancy test.

What makes you think he would kill himself? Does he have suicidal tendencies? Has he threatened to kill himself? Does he suffer from severe depression?

You can't stay with someone just because of their problems. If he is truly suicidal, then he has deep seeded issues that need to be addressed.

You HAVE to leave him.

You are only staying with him for two reasons:
1: You need a place to stay.
2: You don't want him to kill himself.

1: You are just using him. Shows a lack of respect for another human being, which totally cancels out number...
2: You are a humanitarian. As artlady says, he needs professional help, not you. Respect YOURSELF and leave.

You posted in teens, stating that this man is your only place to stay?
How old are you? Where are your parents? Why are you in this type of situation?

A lot of good questions for a large hearted person I'm 18 and my parents are dead. And my family has shunned me basically

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Originally Posted by mia_seeley

a lot of good questions for a large hearted person i'm 18 and my parents are dead. and my family has shunned me basically

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You some family don't take me wrong on this you have to tell some one

p.sthis might seem wired for you by taking advice from a 12 year old

OK here's the deal this guy and I have been friends for a while now and we gone up and down in our relationship/friendship whatever you want to call it and over spring break we took our relationship further and it got pretty intimate. I have other post about this particular event. Anyway for a while he stopped talking to me and now he's talking to me again. He said things to me like I care about you I trust you I feel safe with you etc. and that was all during and shortly after this event had happened. Once I told him I was pregnant he got really angry with me stopped talking to me and wanted nothing to do with me. Now we are talking again buit we haven't discussed me being pregnant or our relationship or anything. I've come up and told him flat out"i love you" and he just didn't care now it's been 2 days and we have not talked or anything. No teats nothing.

How do I get him to talk about what is going on or what we are going to do?

Why would he say those things if they weren't true especially if we were 'best friends'?

What do I do if he really doesn't care? (I've been known to get extremely depressed and suicidal)

What do I do with the kid?

Do all guys want relationships with their children?

I'm coach surfing right now I can't raise a child in that condition Can I nicely force him into helping me?


What do I do now?

If you have documented proof he's the father, child support. He'll regreat having that kid :)

You'll also enjoy the monthly payments

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Originally Posted by mia_seeley

I've come up and told him flat out"i love you" and he just didn't care now it's been 2 days and we have not talked or anything. No teats nothing.

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This shows that the love is not mutual.

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how do I get him to talk about what is going on or what we are going to do?

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How old are you guys? I would definitely call his parents and let them know what is going on. Tell them "Hi Mrs.Johnson, I need to speak with you. I recently told Tom that I was pregnant and he is now avoiding me- I'm sorry this seems like such a shock to you but I really need your help."

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why would he say those things if they weren't true especially if we were 'best friends'?

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Guys lie. He wanted to get in your pants and he did. Now he's running away like a coward.

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what do I do if he really doesn't care? (I've been known to get extremely depressed and suicidal)

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YOU don't be foolish. Don't let this boy dictate your life. You are now pregnant with a child, you are responsible for it!

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What do I do with the kid?

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There is adoption, keeping it or abortion.

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Do all guys want relationships with their children?

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NO.

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I'm coach surfing right now I can't raise a child in that condition Can I nicely force him into helping me?

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Call his parents!

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what do I do now?

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Take action!

Sarah

Here are some telephone numbers that you should call

If you live in the USA here is a pregnancy help line:
1-800-848-5683

If you live in Canada here is a pregnancy help line:
1-800-550-4900

Here are a list of places in the UK that would offer some counseling even if you don't want an abortion:

Organizations offering abortion referral and counseling

British Pregnancy Advisory Service (BPAS)
Head Office:
Austy Manor
Wootten Wawen
Solihull
West Midlands B95 6BX
Actionline tel: 08457 304030
www.bpas.org

BPAS is a non-profit making charity which provides a counseling service and NHS-approved abortion facilities. BPAS operates nine clinics and 32 branches in England, Wales and Scotland. Contact the Actionline for details of your nearest centre.

Brook Advisory Centers
National Office
165 Grays Inn Road
London WC1X 8UD
Tel: 020 7713 9000
www.brook.org.uk

Brook Advisory Centers offer advice and information to people under 25 on relationships, contraception, pregnancy (including testing), and abortion referral (to the NHS if possible). Services are free. Brook has 33 branches in England and Scotland, and one in Belfast. Contact the National Office for details of the one nearest you.


Marie Stopes International
Free phone 0800 716 390
Marie Stopes Clinics

Marie Stopes International provides counseling, abortion services and referral for people of all ages. Fees are charged for services. Centers in London, Leeds, Manchester and Essex. For all inquiries ring the free phone number.

Good luck to you and keep us posted,

Sarah

I broke up wioth a boyfriend because I didn't want to be with him and went back to an ex who is apparently changed. In the past he has been abusive in multiple qways but I just wasn't happy with the other one like I have been in the past with my current boyfriend did I do the right things by leaving the other boyfrined to be with one who may or may not have changed

What do you mean by abusive?

It's never OK to be abused. Ever.

What did the abuser do to change? Did he go to counselling, anger management, if so, for how long and is he still going?

It's been my experience that most abusers don't change. For those that do, it's years and years of counselling and after that constant follow ups and anger management.

The chance that your abusive boyfriend has changed, not very good.

I don't think you should have went back to your ex. People who are abusive and manipulative don't usually change. They might come off as a normal and nice person and say"i can change" but they don't. If he abused you before there is a chance that he might do it again.

I was out with a couple of friends and I am pretty sure my friends boyfriend was hitting on me. He was really flirty kept texting me and when all 7 of us pack into the car I was practically forced to sit on his lap and he kept touching me and like rubbing on me. What are othwer signs of guys hitting gon a chick and how do you tell if a guy is hitting on you

Well they could flirt and all and then they mite tell u

This is your friends boyfriend therefore he shouldn’t be hitting on you. If you have any self respect tell him where to get off. And just for future reference, when a boy is hitting on you, likes you and wants to be with you, you’ll feel a tingling in your stomach. Learn to trust your own instincts, your own gut feeling. And don’t allow your mates boyfriends to flirt with you because you are letting your friend down - and yourself.

Q. How do you tell if a guy is hitting on you?

A. His lips are moving.

I have a guy that treats me good and loves me more than I could even imagine. He treats me good doesn't hit on me or make fun of me even in a playful way we have been together on and off for five years and that is one because we were maturing and because of me. He treats me a lot better than any other man ever has but yet I still find myself lonely depressed hurt and broken. I don't know what the hell to.(excuse my language) I'm depressed for almost no reason. I'm always tired and want to sleep what do I do? I want to be as good to him as he is to me but I am so afraid of falling in love it's stupid. I mean I love him and all and I want to be with him forever I just don't get why I have to be debbie downer:(:confused:

Perhaps you need to speak to a professional

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Originally Posted by mia_seeley

yet i still find myself lonely depressed hurt and broken.... i'm depressed for almost no reason. i'm always tired and want to sleep ...

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Go see your doctor or a therapist and get a blood test. You could have hormone imbalances, nutritional issues, or some other physical condition that makes you feel that way. You could be draining yourself by not sleeping enough or something like that. A good doc will help you sort yourself out.

While you are figuring out your medical condition, your fear of falling in love is another matter. You clearly appreciate this guy, his gentleness and respect, but his love for you is not the remedy for your depression. Your remedy could be mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, relational, or a combination of these. If it isn't about your body's chemistry, the remedy will come from within you. No relationship can solve the problems of growing up.

Just make sure that you treat him right while figuring out what to do to feel better.

OK I guess I'll just dive in and tell you. Lol. OK I was with this guy for two years and we broke up because of the way he treated me. It was a big love huge love the good love. We broke up in August of 2008 and ever since it's been on again off again. Recently I filed a restraining order because my current boyfriend wouldn't shut up. We think that he shot out chris' window in his truck. And before he had kicked in the front door at chris' house. There were many ups and down in our relationship but looking back now all I remember was the good stuff the stuff that would be love. For example laying in the hammock for hours on end staring at the blue sky and talking about the future. And time we went to the lake and played for hours on end looking at each other with such love and understanding. Why I gave it up I'm not exactly sure. Maybe it was when we moved in together things went wrong. I did all the cooking all the cleaning yeah we went out and had fun but looking back cleaning wasn't bad niether was cooking I think it was maybe the fact that he expected me to do it. Or maybe it was the arguments and him hitting things when we got into fights. I mean at least it wasn't me. I'm so confussed and I hate being with the guy I am with right now. But if I leave him I cna't go back to the other because of the restraining order and if I do it gets lifted and not there when I need it. I'm so confussed what do I do? I need another perspective on the relationship an un bias opinion. Kind of hearing only my side makes it a little bias already

Run from both.
This post yells no self-esteem.
You have one guy that you have a restraining order against but want back, but won't life the R/O cause then it won't be there when you need it.
Another boyfriend that you hate being with.

I think the problem is you.
You don't love yourself or care about yourself enough to know that you deserve an equal and happy relationship. The catch is that you can't have an equal and happy relationship until you love yourself.

Ask Me Help Desk - Search Results

Your posts are very confusing, and all have different stories. Are you the only one on your computer? Are you still pregnant? Are your parents dead, or divorced??

I have no idea where to start when it comes to starting over and dumping my boyfriend. I mean I really don't have any idea where to start I wish there was like a guide to starting over. This is what I want to accomplish.

1. I want to get rid of crazy ex boyfriend even though I already have a PPO (personal protection order) on him. He's getting people to call my phone constantly and it's keeping me up all hours of the night. Not to mention he is trying to appeal the order and in which case he can follow me stalk me etc.

2. I want to get rid of my current boyfriend. He's clingy, obsessive, annoying, talks too much, nothing attractive about him, enjoys nothing but video games and being lazy and being with him I've gained 30 lbs because he's not active what so ever and doesn't let me leave the house.

3. I want to move but I don't have a job both of these guys know where I live and can come over at any time. I just can't say no. For those of you reading some of my other post it's the suicidal current boyfriend and the abusive ex. My parents are dead to me thought I could clear that up and no I'm not pregnant I did end up beating up the guy who played his game on me. I want to move over an hour away to be closer to a guy I am really interested in. but it sounds weird but he did tell me that dating him would be hard because of the distance.I wish he would just tell me f I moved if we would start dating. Oh did I mention I don't have a car or my license because current boyfriend forgot to pay my ticket that was his fault.

I'm so confused and don't know what to do.
Please help

Honestly? I think you do need a fresh start... but away from the men in your life, period. ALL of them. Including the "potential new guy."

You need to work on getting yourself back. Not being wrapped up in being a girlfriend, but in being a successful, secure woman.

I'd recommend looking for a job in another place, another city, someplace where you can focus on you... not on your ex, your current BF, or the maybe guy, but on YOU.

I think you need to take control of your life, and responsibility for it.

While I can understand about a crazy ex, I'm not sure I can believe that you gained 30lbs because you could never get out of the house and not be "active." Even if you really couldn't, what was stopping you from exercising in your house?

Also, it's YOUR car, not your boyfriends. I don't know. Maybe I forgot to eat my Wheaties this morning.

In any case, yeah, forget about being in relationships right now. You need to figure out what you even want first in a man before pursuing another a relationship, but more importantly, taking your life back.

Sounds like every guy is obsessive, past, present, future. Sounds like you are a pleaser and you get satisfaction and esteem from doing whatever the guy wants so you feel accepted. I bet you can't go 2 solid months alone without another boyfriend... what you need is a ENTIRE YEAR being single. With no dating or boyfriends... otherwise you will just pick any new guy who shows interest and never qualify the leads...

2 crazy boyfriends. No relationship with parents (they are dead to you - big red flag), beat your boyfriend (abuse - another red flag).

Current BF is suicidal... did you qualify him as not being crazy, or did you meet him, date him, and find out later. Last BF is psycho and stalks you.. did you qualify him and get to know him, or did you just start dating and now stuck with the problems... the new guy lives a hour away and now your going to meet him and start a new life...

OK there this guy we've had kind of bumpy relations and well now he's getting divorced and he's in prison we have been writing back and forth now for a couple months and he's saying a lot of things that I'm not quite sure understand.

First let me explain the whole situation... when I was 15-16 years old this woman asked me to come baby sit for her. I knew her through work so I said OK why not and started babysitting for her and her husband every other Saturday for about a year. Over that year her husband and I started sleeping together. Crazy I know especially at 16 it's wrong blah blah blah not that point anyway a lot of things were said between the two of us and be talked all the time I felt comfortable with this man and I felt safe. Well things didn't turn out so good and my parents found out got the law involved and now he's in prison. I found out where he was and started writing. O told him of heart aches and he feelings I had for him and how I feel now(which is similar if not stronger)and he's aid things like I loved you back in a way or things like I will care for your heart as long as you will let me I have a whole box full of letters that just say things along the border line of caring and loving. He's also told me he has the pictures of me arranged on his bunk so he can sleep with me in sight and wakes up to me first in the morning. I've said things about places we used to go and about disappearing together and he agreed I'm just so confused and don't know what to do I want to let myself fall back in love with him but am unsure how he really feels he's technically still married but she's divorcing him so I need your help these things he's said I can't analyze them because of my screwed visions of love and lust I need your help

If he was sleeping with u behind his wife's back could u ever trust him to not do the same to you ? Not only that people say things that are not true why they are in there its called jail talk..

Whoa! Stop right now and take a really deep breath. I've had a quick look at your other posts and you're right, you have a really screwed view of love and lust.

All her posts have been merged together.

This guy reeks of trouble. Firstly this guy is in prison and let me tell you any woman looks good to a guy in prison. Secondly he was having sex with you when he was married and you were underage. Huge red flag. Thirdly he's says he's getting divorced, but he's still married. An even bigger red flag.

Cheaters and liars do not make good partners.

You keep rushing into relationships without thinking. It seems as if you're unable to be on your own and you feel like you're incomplete without a man. You fall in 'love' with anyone that shows the slightest interest in you and you allow them to treat you dreadfully. This pattern is not healthy and it's not good for you emotionally, physically or spiritually.

Please get some assistance from a professional counselor to work through your unhealthy relationship patterns. You will never be able to have the sort of love you desire until you can have a good relationship with yourself and make healthy choices in life and in love.

Forget the guy in jail - he's poison. Start making healthy choices from today.

How old are you?

I fully agree with Gemini that you need counseling at the very least. Especially, if you are about to become a mother (said she was 12 weeks pregnant in September).

Where ever you are, please get some help in straightening your life out, and leaving the dead end loser guys alone. Please contact your local family services office and get the help and guidance you need.