Hello there, my name is Farrah. I recently went out with a guy about a month in a half ago. We went out for 4 months, and then he broke up with me because of different reasons. (negativeaty, not being able to see each other that much, and another girl got in to the problem.) I really wanted him back and he was told by his friend that I cheated on him. Not really. This girl, his friend, started texting me getting into everything and being very mean. Now he likes her. She told him lies about me and was trying to give him advice. During are relationship I broke up with him a couple of times, and I can't really remember why. Anyway, He has started to say he doesn't care anymore, never talks to me first and still likes the other girl. I got my guy friend into the problem to help try to talk to him and help things out because he's been in the same thing. It worked a little. But, I'm not really sure. I went on several trips with him, and now he's going on a 5 day trip this week with the girl. I still like him and I've heard he still cares and likes me. But he doesn't seem to act like he does? Why is he doing this? And he says he can't go out with me? Any advice. Thanks.

He may be acting that way as a defence mechanism, doesn't want to get hurt again, because you did say you have broken up with him a number of times, maybe its because he doesn't want you getting hurt again, or maybe what ever you heard about him still caring about you wasn't true, missinormation, a lie, who knows
Being the one who's broken up with is aweful, the other person, the one who broke up with you isn't going to feel the same way you do, and that's just plane sucks, your feeling like nothings going to get better, the other person, in this case your exboyfreind, you feel like he's the only one you want, you feel that you two were meant to be, and he probubly feels guilty, but he doesn't want you back
I don't know, I just know you(and I) need to get over that person, the "special person" and try to live with out them, try to cope, excersize is a good way, arguing is also good, try the debate team, I know it sounds nerdy, but it could help, or maybe stay with friends, they know how you feel, and theyr perfectly willing to help you out
About the girl you ex is seeing, ignore her, even if in some way she's the cause of the break up, so is your ex in a way, if he really fealt strongly for you, he wouldn't have listened to her, he would have told her off, and the fact that he didn't just means he really isn't worth all this trouble, and neither is the girl, ignore her, have fun on your trip no matter what she does, and she'll probubly leave you alone, don't mope about some guy who left you for the girl who talks bad about you, be strong

What you should say... I'm not exactly sure, maybe cloudy thinking(I'm going through a bad brake up) but maybe you shouldn't say anything, ignore her, because if she's going to be that way twordes you, she really isn't worth your, or anyone else's time, and for your ex, I'm not sure, it may take some time to completely get over him, a broken heart, be it yours or his, takes time to heal, so when the times right, try being friends, don't make the mistake of doing it right after the breakup, because it makes you feel all the more brokenhearted, trust me
But maybe wait a few weeks, or months, and be casual in between, tjen when you two are finally over each other, say"hey we were close, and I'd like it very much to be freinds again, nothing more" or something like that
I just hope you don't make the mistakes my ex made, or the mistakes I made, and remember love is justified, (I know know, and I hope you do too) there are no such things as "meant to be's" or "soul mates" because your bound to get your heart broken if you believe that, love is with whoever you want it to be with, you have to work at it
I hope my advice helps

Okay. So in my previous question is all the details. But I went out with his guy for about 4 months. And now we broke up 2 months ago. I want him back and sometimes he acts like he likes me and others not. (I don't think he really does) anyway. He likes this girl tooo. And I want to help him. (shes one of the reasons that got him over me so quick, she was lying, etc. ) but she likes him and another guy. Should I just let all this go, even though I really care. I'm not jeeallouss! She is. Please heelp.

All I have to say:

If he isn't willing enough to show he likes you in public, then why should you try to get back with him?
No commitment from him shows he doesn't deserve you and he knows it.

Me and my ex broke up 2 months ago, I think he wants to start over, but we haven't successfully resolved everything, he broke up with me because I slightly cheated (not really), and he does or did like another girl. We never really went on a date, just trips. We are 13. Just how should we try to make things go back to the way it all use to bee?

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Originally Posted by happygirl14

me and my ex broke up 2 months ago, i think he wants to start over, but we havent sucessfully resolved everything, he broke up with me bc i slightly cheated (not really), and he does or did like another girl. we never really went on a date, just trips. we are 13. just how should we try to make things go back to the way it all use to bee?

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1) You are only 13 years old.. What is considered going out and having a boyfriend and girlfriend?

2) What exactly does slightly cheated (not really) mean?

3) If you never really went on a date? That was is the issue here again?

4) You just went on trips, well that is pretty cool, friends do that right?

5) The way it used to be?

6) 2 Months ago broke up, but no really he likes another girl. Right?

7) Not much else to say is that do not take this so series. You two are friends? Friendships change.

Joe

It is not really probable that you can make it go back to the way it was. You've got to move forward, and even that will seem like many steps back.

What do you mean you "slightly" cheated on him?

What about this other girl?

What did you mean by trips?

Once again, you can not go back, you must accept things and move forward.

Peace and kindness be with you.

Um, how can you slightly cheat? It's like being slightly pregnant. It doesn't happen. Either you cheated or you didn't. PERIOD.

Lol you're 13, live your life..

When your that age you think your really old and that you need a boyf and a few years later I promise you will wonder why you thought like that..

Starting over isn't normally a good idea, because there's a reason you two split, and its not like that reasons going to disappear

Okaay so I met this guyy, he's a little older than me, about a year in a half. I'm 12, he's 14. But in the same grade as me, we don't go to the same school. Anyway he smokes weed and drinks. I don't like the fact of this at all. He doesn't do it very often (once a week) but he asked me out and I said yes. He's actually my friends neighbor. So yeaah. And he has a lot of girls after him and he's not even a virgin. And I just I don't know. I haven't seen him and I only hung out with him one time. And I'm already having trust problems. Should I just stay with him and see what happens or break up?

Hello Happygirl:

Yeah, you should stay away.

excon

I agree with excon.

You break up and stay away. first at 12 you don't need to be dating, but other than that, if caught with drugs on him, guess who also goes to juv court if you are with him.

I can't see where he could or even should be a choice to go out with

Okaay so how should I break up with him? I mean he just acts like he likes a lot of girls but he says he doesn't.

Sorry I don't want to go out with you, and then ignore him

Break up. He is trouble.

Well, let's look at it this way:

CONS:
-He smokes
-He drinks
-He smokes weed
-He's not a virgin at 14
-You've only hung out with him once
-You don't trust him

Pros:
-Can you think of anything?



Lose this loser, he's starting on the wrong path. Don't take that path with him. You can make a lot of yourself if you realize what to stay away from early.

He sounds like a kid who is headed for some major trouble in his life and if you are with him,you will put yourself in danger.
Find someone who does not have these problems to hang out with.

One more con to add to CM's list; He's apparently been left back in school if he's older but in the same grade.

I have to ask, where are your parent's in this? Do they know you are "dating" or hanging out with boys like this? At 12 you should not be one on one dating yet. Hanging out in groups is OK.

But you notice the swift and universal response that this guy is a loser and you should stay away from him.

Just tell him you are no longer interested in him. If he asks why, tell him you aren't interested in anyone who uses drugs.

Well there's things I do like about him, he's really funny, and he's fun to be around, and he never leaves me out, and I think he really does care a lot about me. But I don't know. I think he kind of likes other girls too.

Are you ready to not be a virgin, I am asking because you are the next target on his list.

How to break up with him? Easy, tell your mom and dad that you're dating at 12 and that the guy your dating does drugs and drinks.

I'm sure they'll make it very plain to him that he's not to see you again!

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Originally Posted by happygirl14

well theres things i do like about him, hes really funny, and hes fun to be around, and he never leaves me out, and i think he really does care a lot about me. but idk. i think he kinda likes other girls too.

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I really don't care what his nice qualities are. His bad qualities outweigh them. Most predators seem very nice until they take advantage of you.

I know a lot of guy that drink, do drug and have a lot of girl friends. They attract girls like a magnet.

Do you want to be girl friend #4 or 14 that hopes he has time to spend with you because most often he is either spending the weekend looking for some drugs or hanging out with some other girl?

Do you want to worry about him trying to pressure you into sex and then if you do give in you regret it when you realize the REAL full impact of his lifestyle?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

I know a lot of guy that drink, do drug and have a lot of girl friends. They attract girls like a magnet.

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And those girls have issues... but that's for another thread. :)

We are kind of going through the same thing,

Well I'm 13 going on 14 in a month
And thheres this guy who I was with for about 3 weeks he's 14 going on 15

Anyway he smokes weed everyday and drinks occasionally

I broke up with him because when we were together we weren't talkative at all , and it felt awkward

Quote:

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Originally Posted by funsized818

we are kind of going through the same thing,

well im 13 going on 14 in a month
and thheres this guy who i was with for about 3 weeks hes 14 going on 15

anyways he smokes weed everyday and drinks ocassionally

i broke up with him because when we were together we werent talkative at all , and it felt awkward

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Ohh my gossh. Thanks! Its like. I do like him. But he can't remember anything. And I don't really have anyone else to chit chat with. But I don't know.

You are twelve years old. Stay away, stay far away. That is the absolute best thing you can do!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by happygirl14

ohh my gossh. thanks! its like. i do like him. but he can't remember anything. and i dont really have anyone else to chit chat with. but idk.

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He can't remember anything and he is still so young.
I know so many guys that drink and smoke weed and many do other drugs they will not admit to. They are in their 40's and they are in denial that they have a problem and claim they only drink a six pack and smoke 'a' joint. I swear they only have about 10% of a functioning brain.
If he already can't remember anything at his age he most likely will only have a fourth of those brain cells left by age 40. I have to constantly remind many of my friends where they were going and what they were doing. They only know how to go do their home repair or landscaping work and chill with their beer and dope. Most of them have under the table jobs where they drink and do their dope while working.

YOU CAN DO BETTER

EXPECT BETTER

There will be a lot more guys that will come along. You do not have to date the first one that asks you out.

This might be hard for you to see... but the decision that you make now will start a pattern that will carry on in the future. Do not date someone that is not worthy of you. Have high standards for yourself. You should date guys that are smart, honest, polite, trustworthy and drug free.

A good guideline would be this: If he does things that you wouldn't want your parents to find out about, then he is not the guy for you.

excon agrees: Uhhhh... What was this thread about??

Ahhh... ONE joint too many EX? :D

Okaaay I seriously need to know how to break up with him? I mean he hasn't texted me at all todaaay. And maybe you should just leavee?

Ooops. Sorry I mean maybe I should just drop ittt?

Tell him you have been thinking about it and you don't feel you are ready for a boyfriend and you don't want your parents getting upset with you.

Okay, well it seems like you like him and I know it can be hard, but you should really stay away from him. Especially if he is into the drugs and sex that you don't want to do. Because most likely he will try to get you to do it too. Also if you already have doubts about trusting him, that is not what a relationship should be about. Good Luck

Okaaay, so I've heard that I'm annoying because I act clingy (obsessed with that person or something). In otherwords I lost a friend, and some people have gave me a comment like "obsessed much?" and I really don't thaat much, but I'm losing friends, and I'm not really obsessed. I'm just happy to see them, like talking to them, etc. and I need help. How can I stop acting "obsessed? I don't try to. Or make them think I'm not so much of a clingy person?

What types of things do you do that make people feel you are obsessed?

What makes them say you are obsessed with losing your friend?

Do you talk on and on on the same subjects?
Do you ask others what's up with them and let them talk?
How do you act toward others that would make them say you are clingy?

So heeey, this guy I like we went out for 4 months, then broke up 4 months ago. He went out with another girl 2 weeks ago and broke up with her but he still likes her. But schools out and they won't see each other. Now I go to church with him so ill see him. But we had a very strong relationship and when he broke up with me, (because I didn't believe he loved me, I asked a guy to rub me over a text message who was his best friend) and he got the girl he likes involved. Now we were talking today about everything and I just miss the way it use to be. We had so much fun. And I don't think either of us know what to do. But is there any things you guys can think of that we could talk about to make this better? We both loved each other a lot we just both said a lot we dindt mean after the break up. I need help all around any answers I would loveee.