I'm 15 and I have was diagnosed with OCD and depression 4 years ago and have been on antidepressants for three years. I have been slitting my wrists for a very long time, but since my mother has started being violent again, I have become worse and in the last few days I have tried to hang myself three times. I have come to the conclusion that I am doing it wrong and haven't tried after the 3 night of attempting. I don't know why I'm saying this really, I suppose I just need some views and I want to know what people think I should do about it...

GET HELP NOW !!!

You MUST talk to someone you can trust.
Either face to face or try a service such as ChildLine, as you are in the UK.
ChildLine Home

I would go to the nearest hospital immediately! You need help that isn't offered here. Please seek emergency help.

You are obviously starved for attention... please seek a professional counsellor

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Originally Posted by shazamataz

You are obviously starved for attention... please seek a professional counsellor

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Fi am having an extremely difficult time coming to terms with people being horrid about me being being the daughter of a lesbian

Social services are scaring me

I've been in councilling for four and a half years. Coucilling, psychiatrist, psychologist... you think I would do this out of choice??

Don't kill yourself. Things will get better. You only have three more years left until you turn 18. I know that it sounds like a life time and you feel like everything in your life is horrible. I have been there before. You have been trying to help yourself for four years already, so you can do it for three more years. Do you have any family that you can go stay with? Do you have any friends or anyone close that you can talk to? Have you tried getting into reading books to pass your time when you are at home around all of this? Why do you want to kill yourself exactly?

No, I do not think you would do this as a choice, but you do need immediate help, something that we can not offer here.

The way you are processing your thoughts right now is dangerous, especially to yourself.

I'm sorry but I'm having a bit of a hard time believing your story. And I'm probably going to get banned from the forum for this but you don't actually want to kill yourself or you would have done it already. Nobody who genuinely wants to commit suicide tries to hang themselves 3 times and fails.
My Auntie does the same thing you do... she has tried to commit suicide that many times we have lost count but she always takes a heap of pills about 10 minutes before her husband is due to be home. She just does it so we will feel sorry for 'poor old Helen'.
If it is attention you want, and someone to feel sorry for you get the support of your friends and tell your counselor what you are really feeling.

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Originally Posted by shazamataz

I'm sorry but I'm having a bit of a hard time believing your story. And I'm probably going to get banned from the forum for this but you don't actually want to kill yourself or you would have done it already. Nobody who genuinely wants to commit suicide tries to hang themselves 3 times and fails.
My Auntie does the exact same thing you do... she has tried to commit suicide that many times we have lost count but she always takes a heap of pills about 10 minutes before her husband is due to be home. She just does it so we will feel sorry for 'poor old Helen'.
If it is attention you want, and someone to feel sorry for you get the support of your friends and tell your counselor what you are really feeling.

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I think you will find that I am still a child at fifteen. I have been dealing with things like this long enouugh t oknow when I need a bit of attention. And if I did need attention I wouldn't go to a help website for it, I would seek it within school. If you are as intelligent as you want people to think you would have known that and not accused a suicidal child of being an attention seeker.

It is not attention seeking but attention needing.

Vampirevixen you have not succeeded in killing yourself because part of you still wants to live. You can live and things will get better, seek help from social services/teachers/friends people who can get you out of this hellish situation.

You don't need to live like this, but dying isn't the only way out there are many other ways.

I hope this post finds you well.

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Originally Posted by vampirevixen

i think you will find that i am still a child at fifteen. i have been dealing with things like this long enouugh t oknow when i need a bit of attention. and if i did need attention i wouldn't go to a help website for it, i would seek it within school. if you are as intelligent as you want people to think you would have known taht and not accused a suicidal child of being an attention seeker.

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Why don't you explain why you DID post this so we can understand - you have posted you have tried to hang yourself 3 times, it didn't "work," what do people think.

I think you already know what people are going to think and/or say.

You need to speak to a trained professional (and I realize you've tried that. Now you need someone new or someone you can work with) if you're posting for attention OR if you're serious about killing yourself. I see a fine line between the two.

For the record - one of my best friends killed herself in the mid-1980's. She left behind two children. Everyone thought she was looking for attention. I don't know if she was honestly disturbed and upset OR looking for attention but it doesn't really matter.

Both ways, she's been dead for a very long time and a lot of people still grieve for her.

Get professional help.

Please call this number ,it is free and confidential.
1-800-273-talk national suicide hotline
For every problem,there is a solution and suicide is not it.
You will not only destroy your own life but others who love you.
If your mother is abusive,speak to a school counselor and get help for her.
You can get through anything with the right support.Perhaps your medication needs to be adjusted.Speak to someone,do not try to carry these burdens alone.

I know how you feel. Well, even though I have never been in your exact situation, I was very depressed and attempted suicide. My parents were/are very abusive verbally and physically. The only thing that really got me through it was not the therapy or the people saying "Oh I really do care about you." It was realizing that happiness comes from within and you can't run away from your problems. Killing yourself is just a way to make you think that everything is going to be all right or to make you think you are getting revenge for all the hurt that has happened to you by hurting the people that hurt you. Suicide is definitely not the answer and slitting your wrists is just a slow and painful form of suicide. You should just look past your troubles, I know it sounds hard and I'm not going to lie it is hard. But if you focus more on the positive in your life you will see that you had more than you did. Try to make a positive relationship with your parents. If it doesn't work, then stay away and don't speak to them unless they are speaking to you. Trust me if you really thought dying was the best solution to this problem you would have died already. Obviously you still want to live, so live your life.

I really hope you understood this post. Sorry if you didn't it is hard to put something that I've been through into words.

Ask yourself: why do I want to kill myself? The answer is probably because you are not happy about something, someone, or yourself, and that there are things that make you uspet. Maybe you don't know how to fix your problem and just want to end it because of that. Well I think that you just haven't found the answer to your problem because if you did, you wouldn't want to kill yourself.
You need to ask yourself: how can I fix this mess I am in?
and you need to act on fixing the problem because it isn't going to fix itself!
You have already started because you're asking people on this site for help. Keep going and don't stop. You don't really want to kill yourself because you are asking for help, and haven't killed yourself. If you really wanted to and attempeted and failed, you would have done it over and over until you died. But you're not dead because you really don't want to be. You just want your problems to be solved.
I'm sorry you are having a hard time. Can you tell us what it is in your life that is bothering you?

The fact you have come on here to tell your problems, shows that deep down you don't want to go through with it.
There are people that can help, I found that there was family friend who knew how I was feeling and it helped, have you got anyone you can talk to? At school, family, freidns, etc?

OK so here is how I see this whole situation. I myself tried to commit suicide. About a year ago I took about 40 pills and drank a bottle of vodka. I will tell you right now that you should stop and think before anything. I come from a very busy household. People always running in and out. I've been kicked out so many times I can't remember. I moved out when I was 17 because I thought my life was just that bad. Coming from someone a little older who has been in a situation similar to your own, I believe that you need to find that one person that you trust whole heartedly and let them know what's going on in your head. I was thinking about suicide for about 6 years. Slitting my wrist, thinking about driving my car off a cliff, anything that would take me out of this world. The one thing that made me go to the hospital the night I overdosed was thinking about all the people in this world that actually care. I bet you have a lot of people that care about you too. I will tell you right now, that the things that happen to you after you try to commit suicide are worse then what you go through right now. You have to go to hospitals and a lot of therapy. People look at you differently. My advice to you would be to seek help. Anything. Immediately. Don't think hanging yourself is going to change anything. You need to realize that there is a lot of good in this world. One day you will find it, so hang in there

True fully you won't get any out of killing yourself nothing in this world is not worth taking your own life. I know I tried to kill myself 3 times but something every time that things will get better,but yet things always got worse. After a while I didn't think that I wasn't even worth being in this world. But I realized that wasn't true because when I called my friend and I told her what I was trying to do and she broke down I tears. And I telling you what she told me plzzzz that last thing you want is to do that is doesn't matter what religions you believe in none of the out comes are good for what you are trying to do. Just wait it out things will get better it might take a while but it will. And guess what it defiantly did get better. And now I'm trying stop you from doing the same thing I was trying to do because it is not worth it

It's time to become pro-active around here. For one, it appears it's not entirely your fault. I'll bat your mom has OCD too, just maybe a dfferent type.

15 should be one of the better years of your life. Not one of the worst. I had a classmate at that time commit suicide. In fact I've known several people that have tried. Heck, I've chatted with a stranger on the internet that committed suicide.

I'm glad you can't get it right.

Funny thing is, if you tell the wrong people, they may want to you you away.

Tell us a bit about your OCD and what, if any OCD your mom may have.

I have a hunch that what you may be dealing with is "emotional abuse". If it it true, then what you will feel is that you can't do anything right to please your mom. In this kind of relationship you "cannot please your mom". It's impossible.

You must learn to be assertive and calmly say why you believe HER behavior is wrong and CALMLY walk away, go to your room and close the door or take a walk around the block. The latter is preferred.

YOU have probably been labeled as the problem, but I'll bet it's the relationship between your mom and you that's the problem. Your reaction to that relationship has to be changed.

Help us out hear a bit. Every time you "tried", what were the events leading up to it.

Remember anger is a building up of events and eventually something small triggers a bigger explosion.

So what can you comfortably tell us? Am I close to what's really going on? You need to focus on the positive, not the negative. You need to tune out what's botheirng you.

You can only change yourself and how you react to your mom. You cannot change your mom.

Depression should be temporary. In your case 3 years max. You need coping strategies.

I agree with the above... Killing yourself isn't the answer.

Seek professional help.

A little story: I have a friend who tried committing suicide several times. When a minister found him in the chapel at the local church trying to kill himself through an overdose, everyone tried to find him help. He went through a few counselors before he found one he liked. But after that, things began going well for him. He is now enrolled in a well respected university, and has a part time job at an animal shelter, doing good work. He is looking at a really bright future.

The point of my little story is that things can get better.

I have marks on my arm and they are major.I wasn't kidding.I see them everyday and so does anyone else.People don't ask because they don't have to ,its obvious what it is.
It shames me.

When I was younger I always wanted to kill myself because I always was so confused and I hated it... but now that I'm the age of 14 I know that its best not to because there are things in life you will regret.. you don't want to do that... this will get a lot better... go talk to a counslor... every one will miss you and I promise if you try again you will honstly regret it!

Suicide is a permanent answer to a temporary problem. ALL problems are temporary. Yes, you are still a child. You don't have the experience that all the other responders have provided. Face the facts. You will not get get the attention you are so desperately seeking because your body will be in the ground & only those people you have hurt by your action will be there. Instead of begging for attention for yourself, try helping others. You have many talents. Use them to help others. Soon you will forget about your problems. Indeed, you will find that other people have so many problems that you have never experienced. Do something with your life!

please don't kill yourself. There is so much in life u haven't seen. U need to look at the brighter things in life. I don't know what u believe in... but go to church or something. Ever one is very nice there. I've been once or twice... I thought about killing myself too before. I been to rehab and everyone showed me a diff way to life. Just think of all the people around u that would b hurt if you were to die... =/

Please don't, every life is a valuable life worth living
You may be having a hard time at the moment, but after all this you'll be such a strong person, considering your so young you still have the rest of your life ahead of you, and you can make it completely your own soon, you will be in control, imagine how good it would be to go through all this then come through at the end, and you don't have to look back, its in the past and the YOUR future is ahead, the future that can be anything you want it to be, if you try.
If life were too hard, don't you think you would have died through something like being over-stressed naturally.
Although I do not believe in Christianity, I do believe that if your life has for filled its potential, you shall pass away naturally. But if not, you are kept living for a reason . So we can die happy , so we can look back on our lives whilst we are dyeing look through bad and good, and still die happy.
If you were to kill yourself now , you will just look back on the bad you feel? so go out and as soon as possible ( as soon as you can be in controle of your own life) start making some good to look back at.
And watch the moment when you became so strong to overcome suicide and all the bad, and fell proud of yourself.
You can do it, every life has the potential to.

I was diagnosed with depression for 10 years! I tried many times to kill myself, but I never did. Uptil about 5-7 months ago I was like that, then my new Psychiatrist rediagnosed me with Biploar or Manic/Depressive disorder.

You should go to the doctors tell them you are suicidal and tell them abou your life. If it's bad enough that you want to die just to get away, why not just go to a hospital and see if they can't keep you for a while, I did this too. It's not fun, it is crapy, but if you do what they ask in terms of taking meds and what have you, this is a trial and error process and may take a while to find the right mix of meds then the right doeses too. Keep trying don't give up, because you wouldn't be trying to end your life if there wants something you wanted but are feeling that you aren't getting. Would you? (Your life seems one way, you think it should be another way? Feel free to call me on that assumption.)

What kind of depression is it? Are you apathetic? Do you ever get highs, mania, feeling really happy talkative for no reason? What anti-depressant are you on, and how long, and what others have to tried for how long?

What do you mean by you mother being violent?

Who have you told this too?

Warning, Cutting is addicting! Try to stop, or you'll have a heck of a time stopping. I know I did/ do.

Peace and kindness be with you.

If you are so sad, you should be happy.
Think about it: Being sad is only a reaction to the way you have felt before. So instead of hating your time today, rejoice for your time yesterday, and prepare for your time tomorrow. If you really think you have hit rock bottom, it can only get better from here!

Read the quote in my sig, it really applies to you!