Ask Me Help Desk - I'm going to mess up yet another relationship aren't I

Im going to mess up yet another relationship aren't I

Soooo, I met the most wonderful, beautiful, terrific, girl... ever
Well, she's a scene girl, if you don't know what that is, Google it, but any ways, she's so sweet, so cute, she laughs at all my jokes, we've been going out for at least a week, but I may not be her type, you see, all her friends are emo nancy boys, and other scene girls, I'm a SEAL team brat, they wear scarves, I wear steal toed boots, they listen to gay bands(I don't know the names maaan), I listen to ac dc, but I still want to see this girl, we've been on a few dates, not too many, and most of them her friends tagged along, her familily is religious, I'm far from it, I used to smoke pot, I still smoke cigies, and djirum blacks(mostly), I drink, and I'm a mean drunk, I used to fight, a lot, and she found out, but she doesn't really seemed bothered by it, but you never know. She doesn't know about the smoking or drinking though.
Some one told me that she might be only going out with me for rebound, she recently broke up with one of her friends, who also feels he has to tag along when I'm with her, it was also made clear that she may be only going out with me because of my "bad boy" image
I really need your guys help

Before I start, how old are you?

He's 15.

And honestly I know you're really into her but you've only seen her outer persona. When you know the real her you'll have your answer. And don't really go off what other people say about her and what she wants.

Let me get this straight.. You're a fifteen year old smoker? Working on becoming an alcoholic? Where are your parents? Anyway, apart from the problems your having with this girl you have BIGGER problems to deal with. You shouldn't be worrying about ANY girls until you fix these first.

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Originally Posted by 411Help

Before I start, how old are you?

I'm fifteen

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Originally Posted by 411Help

Let me get this straight.. You're a fifteen year old smoker? Working on becoming an alcoholic? Where are your parents? Anyways, apart from the problems your having with this girl you have BIGGER problems to deal with. You shouldn't be worrying about ANY girls until you fix these first.

Ill be fine. They don't need to know, and honestly, I don't want them too, I didn't ask for you to help me with drinking and smokin, I asked you to help me with girl problums

Like you said, she doesn't know about those things. Tell her, then get back to me.

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Originally Posted by 411Help

Like you said, she doesn't know about those things. Tell her, then get back to me.

I can't do it, I've had girls break up with me before because I smoke

For good reason.

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Originally Posted by 411Help

For good reason.

Whys that?

No fifteen year old should be "DRINKING and SMOKING" you have bigger problems than this girl.

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Originally Posted by 411Help

No fifteen year old should be "DRINKING and SMOKING" you have bigger problems than this girl.

I know that, but if things don't work out with this girl, ill smoke and drink more, I have a clinical deoression, I take meds, but it still helps to have some smokes in me, I don't drink all the time, only at parties, but when I do, I drink a lot

Smoking is not a solution to your problem. Working out is a good way to reduce the stress in your life.

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Originally Posted by 411Help

Smoking is not a solution to your problem. Working out is a good way to reduce the stress in your life.

What makes you think I don't work out, I do kayak, I'm nallways hunting,n and camping, I hike, lift weights, and do situps

I never said you didn't. I'm just trying to help. That's good.. Keep it up.. If that doesn't work.. Find other stress relieving activities. Have you tried yoga? Meditation?

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Originally Posted by 411Help

I never said you didn't. I'm just trying to help. That's good.. Keep it up.. If that doesn't work.. Find other stress relieving activities. Have you tried yoga? Meditation?

Well, I kind of do, I play guitar, when I can't smoke, and I do get stressed, it helps to play some video games, nothing relives stress like killing a few nazis
I also read, listen to music, and I seem less stressed when I'm with. My new girlfriend, that's why I don't want to ruin this relationship, because she's different than my other gfs

Ok, I need more information about you two, why do you think you'll ruin this relationship? Why do you think this is (YOUR) fault?

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Originally Posted by 411Help

Ok, I need more information about you two, why do you think you'll ruin this relationship? Why do you think this is (YOUR) fault?

We've been going out for a week, she's really sweet and really cute, she's awfully childish, but that's what I like about her, its kind of like this, I look at things really seriously, and I'm kind of negative,m but she's so positive, and uplifting, I love that about her
But, we have nothing in common

Just because you have nothing in common doesn't mean it won't work out, it'll just give you more to talk about, and 411help, you should work on not judging people for smoking, is it your body, no. so don't worry about it plus he wasn't asking about smoking and drinking, he was asking about his relationship, sorry if I offended you but it's his choice. As I was saying about this relationship thing, it'll give you two more to talk about and as they always say, opposites always attract, so no worries. Enjoy going out with her. Good luck! :D

Ok, so she just called me to wish me a merry christmas, she's so sweet, and so it gave me an opertunity to tell her, so I did, I told her about the smoking and the drinking, and she said she was fine with it, but it sounded like she was lying

Just so you know, alcohol IS a depressant and if your clinically depressed drinking makes it worse, whether your on meds or not.

If your serious about being a good partner, work on the bad habits, and the lack of positive thinking and just be a good guy to the female. You don't have to stress, just be yourself, and have fun, and stay on your better behavior.

Relax and enjoy And don't say can't. You can if you want to.

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Originally Posted by THEpurplepeanut

just because you have nothing in common doesn't mean it won't work out, it'll just give you more to talk about, and 411help, you should work on not judging people for smoking, is it your body, no. so don't worry about it plus he wasn't asking about smoking and drinking, he was asking about his relationship, sorry if i offended you but it's his choice. as i was saying about this relationship thing, it'll give you two more to talk about and as they always say, opposites always attract, so no worries. enjoy going out with her. good luck! :D

He's underage.

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Originally Posted by 411Help

He's underage.

yes he is but it was his choice, like I said, not my body, I don't care, well I do care, but it wasn't my bad choice and it's not going to affect me in any way because I'm not the one doing this stuff. Sorry if I don't agree with your opinion, but I don't see why you are worrying about it if you hardly know this guy, even though it will hurt him later, it is a lesson he needs to learn, not you. Sorry if I'm being insensitive about this, but that choice wasn't yours, mine, or anyone else's, it was his and I know you're trying to help, but he needs help with something else now.

I wouldn't be surprised if she already knows about the smoking. People who smoke usually smell like smoke all the time so if it is a regular thing then if she doesn't know now than you won't be able to hide it for to long. You need to tell her because you don't know what her reaction is going to be and if she breaks up with you for it than so be it but if she finds out that you were hiding it from her then the possibility of her ending it goes WAY up! As far as her other friends and you not being sure if she really likes you take her on a real take the initiative to let her know that you want to get to know her better go all out figure out what kinds of things she's into movies bowling whatever she will appreciate it.

Well, I did it again, I got in another fight, with one of her friends, he was saying bs about her while she was using the bathroom, so, I punched him in the nose, she walked in, he was in tears, I had his blood on my hand, and she made me go home, we haven't talked in like three hours, and she isn't answering my texts, I f***ed up big time

Your out of control don't you think?

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Your out of control don't you think??

I don't know what to say to that, I think he deserved it, he was calling her a slut

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Originally Posted by AManWithNoName

i dont know what to say to that, i think he deserved it, he was calling her a slut

You said he was one of her friends.

You had no business punching him. You could end up in jail or in juvie detention for that.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You said he was one of her friends.

You had no business punching him. You could end up in jail or in juvie detention for that.

He had no business calling my girl friend a slut

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Originally Posted by AManWithNoName

he had no buisness calling my girl freind a slut

So we punch anyone we think has no business saying something? Why did he call her a slut if she is one of his friends? Is she by reputation?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

So we punch anyone we think has no business saying something? Why did he call her a slut if she is one of his friends? Is she by reputation?

Its her ex, I have no idea why he hangs out with her, I guess it's a girl thing

Like I said before, you have bigger problems to worry about and should be asking about before we discuss your girl problems.

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Originally Posted by 411Help

Like I said before, you have bigger problems to worry about and should be asking about before we discuss your girl problems.

What problums

Anger, alcohol, and tobacco.

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Originally Posted by 411Help

Anger, alcohol, and tobacco.

Well, those are problums that will work then selves out, right now, I'm in pretty deep s##t

Don't worry man.. I started smoking when I was about your age... I know how it is.. its not exactly the easiest thing to just up and quit... now for this girl.. if you like her I would keep up what your doing.. but if you don't like her friends tagging along tell her..

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Originally Posted by AManWithNoName

Well, those are problums that will work then selves out, right now, I'm in pretty deep s##t

That's just not true dude, those are problems you need to work at overcoming or they will come back to bite you in the butt. You already see how the anger problem has affected your life. And the alcohol, but until you recognize your own problems, and mistakes, and do something about it, you will always be in deep doodoo!

Well, she finally answered my texts, she gave me a chance to explain myself, she kind of understood, I think this guy still has feelings for her, and I guess he was jealous, I don't exactly know

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Originally Posted by AManWithNoName

well, she finally answered my texts, she gave me a chance to explain myself, she kinda understood, i think this guy still has feelings for her, and i guess he was jealous, i dont exactly know

And you still don't see anything wrong with what you did, do you. Have you ever stepped outside your own skin and tried to imagine someone else's feelings? You said when you punched that kid in the nose, you made him cry. Clint Eastwood would hang his head in shame if he knew. At least the original MWNN had control of himself and wasn't a solipist like you are. Maybe you oughta watch those spaghetti westerns again, this time with an open mind.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

And you still don't see anything wrong with what you did, do you. Have you ever stepped outside your own skin and tried to imagine someone else's feelings? You said when you punched that kid in the nose, you made him cry. Clint Eastwood would hang his head in shame if he knew. At least the original MWNN had control of himself and wasn't a solipist like you are. Maybe you oughta watch those spaghetti westerns again, this time with an open mind.

Well of course I feel bad, but no one insults my girlfriend, hell any girl for that matter, you don't go around calling girls sluts, in front of her boy friend, and not expect anything to happin