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-   -   Should a 11 year old girl be able to date 11 yr boy ? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=289199)

  • Dec 6, 2008, 07:23 PM
    shantans
    Should a 11 year old girl be able to date 11 yr boy ?

    help do you think a 11 year old can date I need answers please well like holding hands holding each other
  • Dec 6, 2008, 07:31 PM
    ScottGem

    No, I think 11 is too young to be seriously dating. You are still a child and need to be a child a little longer.

    What do you parents say?
  • Dec 6, 2008, 07:33 PM
    ZoeMarie

    Yeah, maybe not date, but be friends? Sure!
  • Dec 6, 2008, 07:36 PM
    Wondergirl

    Holding hands and hugging is not a date.

    Besides, like Scott said, eleven is much too early to be thinking about the opposite sex. Learn how to diagram sentences, know your multiplication tables forwards and backwards instantly, and learn the location of all the world's countries and their capitals. And are you ready for your state history test? Did you make your bed this morning? Did you eat three nutritious meals today? Have you finished your homework for Monday? Have you been behaving like someone everyone wishes they knew better? Have you obeyed your mom and dad? If not, you don't have time for "dates" yet.
  • Dec 6, 2008, 08:29 PM
    shantans
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Holding hands and hugging is not a date.

    Besides, like Scott said, eleven is much too early to be thinking about the opposite sex. Learn how to diagram sentences, know your multiplication tables forwards and backwards instantly, and learn the location of all the world's countries and their capitals. And are you ready for your state history test? Did you make your bed this morning? Did you eat three nutritious meals today? Have you finished your homework for Monday? Have you been behaving like someone everyone wishes they knew better? Have you obeyed your mom and dad? If not, you don't have time for "dates" yet

    Hey I'm 4.0 I've known the guy for 4 years what's it opinion now
  • Dec 6, 2008, 08:37 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by shantans View Post
    hey I'm 4.0 I've known the guy for 4 years what's it opinion now

    Same.

    At your age, I knew all sorts of guys for four years and more. I didn't date alone with a guy until I was 16. Meanwhile, I did my homework, did my chores at home, won scholarships for college, and ended up with a very nice career. Hugging and dating happen soon enough.

    I notice you didn't answer my questions...
  • Dec 6, 2008, 08:39 PM
    lisa45
    No way. 11 is too young. You are still in primary school, you need to study on school and freindships, and family. You have no room in your life at the moment for kissing etc and you all know that kissing leads to sex, which you are definitely too young for. I think 11 is too young.
  • Dec 6, 2008, 08:53 PM
    shantans

    Hey don't go crazy!!
  • Dec 6, 2008, 09:01 PM
    shantans
    Should 11 year old be able to go out with a boy holding hands etc
    :rolleyes:hey u guys just wondering could a 11yr old girl be bffs and then say they both like each other pass notes saying hey want to hang out no into kissing but still kind of u know say they like each other it will be nice if to leave answer ah I know 11 not a age for kissing and sex ;):eek:


    Hay I'm not dumb 4.0 student
  • Dec 6, 2008, 09:06 PM
    bored987

    You I think that it is fine, I had my first boyfriend when I was 12. It's fine as long as you don't get 2 serrious (at least until you are older)
  • Dec 6, 2008, 09:17 PM
    shantans
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bored987 View Post
    ya i think that it is fine, i had my first boyfriend when i was 12. it's fine as long as u dont get 2 serrious (at least untill u r older)

    Hey thanks so bord u
  • Dec 6, 2008, 09:43 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by shantans View Post
    hey don't go crazy!!!!!

    You either. Do your homework for Monday.
  • Dec 6, 2008, 10:44 PM
    lisa45
    Yeah that's fine & cute. It's good practise for when you aer older :)
  • Dec 6, 2008, 11:26 PM
    timtim-awesim

    Why the heck shouldn't 12yearolds date?
    I mean they can't really drive to the movies, but they could hang out and kiss and share a soda or whatever
  • Dec 6, 2008, 11:29 PM
    timtim-awesim

    If you find the right person at 11 years old then you should do everything u can to b with them.

    But probably 99.999 percent of the time it isn't the right person when your that young!

    Just see how things work out. Do what feels natural to you, listen to your heart
  • Dec 7, 2008, 12:11 AM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by timtim-awesim View Post
    do what feels natural to you, listen to your heart

    That's how we end up with unwed mothers or girls getting abortions at age 12 and 13.
  • Dec 7, 2008, 12:36 AM
    timtim-awesim
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    That's how we end up with unwed mothers or girls getting abortions at age 12 and 13.

    I said heart, not penis/vagina
    I never said 11 year olds should be having sex. I said if you think you love someone, you shouldn't let them go
  • Dec 7, 2008, 12:50 AM
    bored987
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    That's how we end up with unwed mothers or girls getting abortions at age 12 and 13.

    There is nothing wrong with an 11 year old girl dateing an 11 year old boy, I did when I was 11(which was 2 years ago) and nothing bad ever happened to me. By what she said its just harmless fun and that's what it was for me. Not every thing leads to "unwed mothers or girls getting abortions at age 12 and 13" any smart girl knows how to protect herself from that.
  • Dec 7, 2008, 01:40 AM
    ChihuahuaMomma
    First of all, what is the definition of dating at 11? Holding hands? Passing notes that say "your face looks like butterfly wings"? If that's it, then go for it. I also started dating someone when I was 11, so was he. We were together for 7 years. We didn't kiss until we were 15. And never had sex. If this is just a boy and a girl hanging out, then OK. With parental supervision, EVEN BETTER!!


    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bored987 View Post
    not every thing leads to "unwed mothers or girls getting abortions at age 12 and 13" any smart girl knows how to protect herself from that.

    Accidents and bad luck happen to smart girls too.
  • Dec 7, 2008, 08:07 AM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bored987 View Post
    there is nothing wrong with an 11 year old girl dateing an 11 year old boy, i did when i was 11(which was 2 years ago) and nothing bad ever happend to me. by what she said its just harmless fun and thats what it was for me. not every thing leads to "unwed mothers or girls getting abortions at age 12 and 13" any smart girl knows how to protect herself from that.

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by timtim-awesim View Post
    why the heck shouldnt 12yearolds date?
    i mean they can't really drive to the movies, but they could hang out and kiss and share a soda or whatever

    Spoken like young people who don't have the knowledge or experience to understand the maturation process.

    Children today are trying to grow up faster and faster. They see intergender relationships glorified in the media and want to emulate what they see. They want the experiences they see without having the emotional maturity to handle it.

    That's why its not a good idea for children to date. I strongly suspect that in the OP's case she wants to date NOT because she likes the boy but just for the sake of dating.

    Whenever questions like this crop up, you get three groups of answers. The adults who want to protect the childhood of the askers advicate waiting. The kids who don't believe an adult can understand what they are going through, say go ahead. And the third group is in their late teens or early 20s who had a good or bad (mostly bad) similar experience.

    If one is asking for advice, they generally want the advice from older and wiser heads.
  • Dec 7, 2008, 09:50 AM
    N0help4u

    Often at that age kids say 'I am going out with... ' it can be cute because it is mostly innocent hand holding and just verbally acknowledging that they have a strong like for each other.
    Then 'going out' or hanging out in a group can be a good start for getting to know and socialize with the opposite sex.

    A lot depends though on their maturity level and how physically developed they are. I have known a lot of pregnant 13 yr old girls that if you didn't know better you would swear they were 18.

    I also think that you might be best to look at the other kids her age and on up to around 13 or 15 at her school. If they are into sex and all then it is a little more likely that she could end up going the same route because with what I see teens follow what the others are doing and it isn't necessarily peer pressure but what is considered normal to them.
  • Dec 7, 2008, 10:36 AM
    bored987
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma View Post
    Accidents and bad luck happen to smart girls too.

    What I meant was if she is smart she won't even do anything like that until she is older
  • Dec 7, 2008, 12:57 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bored987 View Post
    what i meant was if she is smart she won't even do anything like that untill she is older

    I remember those days well. Curiosity, peer pressure, defiance toward parents, overconfidence, and egocentrism all trump her (an 11 y/o's) being smart.
  • Dec 7, 2008, 01:07 PM
    bored987
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    I remember those days well. Curiosity, peer pressure, defiance toward parents, overconfidence, and egocentrism all trump her (an 11 y/o's) being smart.

    Not eveyone is like that!
  • Dec 7, 2008, 01:12 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bored987 View Post
    not eveyone is like that!

    Of course everyone is at that age! At least one characteristic on my list will apply to an 11 y/o to cause him/her to be "less smart" in attitude and/or behavior. It's all part of growing up, gaining life experience, and maturing.
  • Dec 7, 2008, 02:57 PM
    shantans

    OK thank u!! this was a survey for my friend who is 11 and is into all that I'm concerned so I'm going to guide her in the rite directionh
  • Dec 7, 2008, 03:05 PM
    ScottGem

    You are an adult who has an 11 yr old "friend" and writes in text speak. Okay sure.
  • Dec 7, 2008, 03:11 PM
    southerngalps

    shantans agrees: thanks I'm a adult looking after my children

    I thought this was the case... now it's a study?
    Hmmmmm.
  • Dec 7, 2008, 03:47 PM
    Wondergirl

    Quote:

    bored987 disagrees: what dose that have to do with any of this?
    Everything. Are you 11 too?

    ADDED: Ah! I see you are 13. Do you know the difference between "dose" and "does"? Did you know that "I" should be capitalized when it refers to yourself? Have you finished your homework for tomorrow?
  • Dec 7, 2008, 03:51 PM
    bored987
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Everything. Are you 11 too?

    No I'm 13, and why dose it matter any way
  • Dec 7, 2008, 03:53 PM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bored987 View Post
    no im 13, and why dose it matter any way

    It does matter because your advice comes from a lack of real experience
  • Dec 7, 2008, 03:53 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bored987 View Post
    no im 13, and why dose it matter any way

    Read what I added above.

    What does it mean? It means your future, your success in life.
  • Dec 7, 2008, 03:58 PM
    bored987
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Everything. Are you 11 too?

    ADDED: Ah! I see you are 13. Do you know the difference between "dose" and "does"? Did you know that "I" should be capitalized when it refers to yourself? Have you finished your homework for tomorrow?

    Yes I know the differnce between dose and dose and I know that I should be capitalized but I don't think that it really matters for something like this and yes my homework is done I'm a 4.0 student, thank you very much
  • Dec 7, 2008, 04:01 PM
    bored987
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ScottGem View Post
    It does matter because your advice comes from a lack of real experience

    I may not have as much experience as you but at least I know what I am talking about. I know what kids and teens do at 11, and at the schools I've gone to its nothing like what you are thinking
  • Dec 7, 2008, 04:01 PM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bored987 View Post
    yes i know the differnce between dose and dose and and i know that i should be capitalized but i dont think that it really matters for something like this and yes my homework is done im a 4.0 student, thank you very much

    Actually it DOES matter. The rules of this site prohibit using text speak. Using such exhibits a laziness and lack of courtesy to others.
  • Dec 7, 2008, 04:04 PM
    bored987
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ScottGem View Post
    Actually it DOES matter. The rules of this site prohibit using text speak. Using such exhibits a laziness and lack of courtesy to others.

    Just because I don't have the time to make sure that my spelling and grammar is perfect dosen't mean that that I "lack courtesy for others".
  • Dec 7, 2008, 04:06 PM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bored987 View Post
    just because i dont have the time to make sure that my spelling and grammar is perfect dosen't mean that that i "lack courtesy for others".

    So you claim. But that's the way it will appear to others.
  • Dec 7, 2008, 04:09 PM
    bored987
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ScottGem View Post
    So you claim. But that's the way it will appear to others.

    Well then I am sorry I will be sure not to use text talk.
  • Dec 7, 2008, 04:22 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bored987 View Post
    yes i know the differnce between dose and dose and and i know that i should be capitalized but i dont think that it really matters for something like this and yes my homework is done im a 4.0 student, thank you very much

    You still didn't spell the word right. I don't believe the 4.0 based on what you post here. A teen earning a 4.0 would write well.
  • Dec 7, 2008, 04:32 PM
    bored987
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    You still didn't spell the word right. I don't believe the 4.0 based on what you post here. A teen earning a 4.0 would write well.

    OK just because I'm not making sure that I don't make any mistakes doesn't mean that I don't know how to spell or write well. I'm not a perfectionist so I don't reread this a 100 times to correct all of my mistakes and you can't judge someone's grades based on the way that they type

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