Ask Me Help Desk - I'm twenty years old, an eleven year old likes me and I like her.

I'm twenty years old, an eleven year old likes me and I like her.

OK, I know your all going to think I'm a pedophile or something, but hear me out. I've been involuntarily celebate my entire life, I was always incredibly shy and have never dated, never kissed, never done anything,and I'm twenty years old. WHile I find it hard to talk to girls, for the first time in my life a girl has gone against convention and told me that she likes me, the only problem being that she's 11 years old. I wouldn't do anything inappropriate, I know it's juvenile puppy-love, but this seems like my best bet at being able to hold hands and kiss a girl, but I guess it'd be illegal, I couldn't let our parents kow, and we couldn't be seen in public... in other words, does anyone think I should pursue this, or am I doomed to loneliness?

Doomed-loneliness.

OK here I'm 11 years old almost 12 and the thing is if you like someone very much go for it don't let age put you down and besides she is inly 11 and you are only 12 and only 1year apart! ;]

Don't do it! You may be a young, inexpierenced 20 year old, but you are still light years apart from someone who's twelve and even though she likes you it would very much be taking advantage - even from the prospective that all girls and I do mean ALL girls are raised with the notion and info about "pedophiles" and she may not think it now but having a relationship with an adult when you're very much a child(12 is still a child!) in our society is frowned upon and she has another 8 years to develop into the person she's going to be and such a 'bad' thing... what am I trying to say? Even if she likes you... somewhere deep down she knows that it's wrong, as do you, and even if it works out perfecly subconsciously it'll come back to bite both of you - it's innappropriate and frankly, illegal. As you said, it's not and never will be something you can go to your parents or her parents and proclaim loudly and be proud of which is reason enough not to do it, life is hard enough already.

Just having feelings for a 11 year old means you need to get counseling ASAP.

I don't understand how you could possibly find a child attractive.. seek help.

You should not purse this. You are not doomed to loneliness either.

She is only 11, and no matter how mature she seems to you, she is NOT. She will change so much by the time she is 20 herself. She is incredibly young and no doubt naïve. I don't doubt she might have a crush on you, but that is pretty typical for anyone, let alone an 11 year old (I don't mean to offend any 11 year olds here) and it is one of those things that comes and goes.

How do you even know this little girl? It's for the best if you stop all contact with her. Even trying to be friends with her is inevitably going to get you in trouble quite honestly.
Why don't you try meeting people your own age? Use that time and energy to get to know people your own age. No one is "doomed" to loneliness forever by any means, but it is a joint effort, you have to put yourself out there to meet others.

It's not a bad idea to see a counselor perhaps either. They could help you get to the root of why you feel that way and help you come up with strategies to connect with people in your age group.

Ok.. 11 years old is still practically a child who is just growing out of playing with her dollies. It is sick to me that a 20 year old feels the way you do for an 11yo. Sure when I was 11 I had crushes on my older bros 18yo friends but if they ever did anything that would be very wrong, and they would have been taking advantage of me. Go out and meet some people your age. Why would you want a girlfriend you couldn't tell anyone about or be seen with anyway?

Yeah, wow... I wouldn't pursue this at all.

You, I guess you're right. In a perfect world I'd know someone my age that likes me, but it wouldn't work out. Thanks

You are only 20 years old! It's not like you are 45 and are desparately looking for someone to spend your life with. She is just a child and she has a childish crush on you! Crushes don't last very long and she is inapropriately young, if she was 17 years old and had parental consent I would say go for it. But you have plenty of time to meet a woman closer to your age and with similar interests. You aren't the only man that hasn't been in a relationship at your age! Just start working on meeting women at a bar or a coffee shop, at the store for crying out loud! But you have to keep in mind she is a CHILD, and you are and ADULT. You need a relationship with another adult. Otherwise it would be totally inappropriate and let's put it bluntly, just sick.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2BR02B

ya, i guess you're right. in a perfect world I'd know someone my age that likes me, but it wouldn't work out. thanks

Your outlook on life tells me you need to seek help from a professional. I believe you are stuck in the 'poor me' mode, and you think the world has done this to you. There IS no perfect world. Not for you, not for me, not for anyone! Do not drag this innocent 11 yr old into this shallow existence that you have crawled into. Leave this girl completely alone. You are not good for her. You are using her to feel good about yourself, and that will definitely not work either. You are headed for trouble. At 20 yrs. Old, you should know this behaviour crosses all boundaries of mature and conscious behaviour and actions. Please talk to someone and get some help with the issues you have. This is VERY innapropriate behaviour for a 20 yr old.

OK that is kind of creepy(no offence ) it would be different if she was 20 an you were 30 my parents are 11 yrs. Apart but at the age they were when they met it was a huge deal but don't do anything cause if her parents ever did find out they probably wouldn't believe your explanation and just take it as your just using her

Smack Yourself HARD

Wow,first of all what are you doing hangin around 11 yos?shouldn't u be in college up to your ears with work, and what twenty yo has time to hang around let alone develop feelings for a little girl.I know you don't want to sound like a ped, but worrying about having a relationship with a child is a little disturbing."puppy love"? You've got to be kidding.youre twenty she's twelve.step out your box,get some help, take a chance, and meet some people your own age or older.

Messing around with an eleven year old can land in year and maybe as a sex offender for life. Things as simple as kissing and holding hands can land you in trouble.

You stated you don't want the family to find out and why is that? Because you know it's wrong! If I was her mother your be in loads of trouble and you will get a beating from me. Also, guys in jail don't like people that does things with kids. She is a kid and not even a teenager yet, find someone in your own age group because this is wrong in too many ways to count.

2 options.. Wait till she is 18 or wait until you find another girl you might acctually be comfortable with.

The fact that you are even considering this indicates that you ARE, in fact, a pedophile. You should seek immediate help and avoid children until you can come to terms with your issues.

Pedophilia is not necessarily an action, but as much a desire to perform an action. A moment of weakness will both harm a child and possibly ruin THE REST of your life.

Please, for everyone's sake, seek help and stay away from kids.

This is all wrong legally and morally.

I guess a logical explanation for this is you are inexperienced and you are connecting with someone that young. As to other people's question... why are you even hanging out with an eleven year old?

No matter what the reason is for feeling this way... it is not right!

Move on... get this out of your head.

She is a little girl. Probably hasn't even started her period yet!

When I was 15 I met my now fiancé who was then 21.. and even we both thought it was wrong.. We still chatted until a few months later we knew we were in love. We kept it a secret until I was 17 which killed us both. When we told everyone there were a little bit wary because of the age difference but its all good now at 19 and 25...

BUT...

A 20 year old pursuing an 11 year old is just wrong she is only a baby... you can't just go along with her crush.. cz that's all it is.. just cz your lonely.. it's a illegal and mean.. go to a nightclub or a singles night and find someone your own age or failing that someone who has left school

There are plenty of 20year old girls that are also involutarily celebate... go for one of them... although they are few and far betewwn, somehow I think that you hang out at the same place as some of these chicks and you just don't know it... find love elsewhere. Please do not ruin this 11year old girl, let her grow into herself first... then when she's like 18ish, go for it...

I disagree with the above poster... don't encourage anyone to wait 7 YEARS to "go for it." The thing here is that he has to stay away from her now, period, not just wait around her, because it would definitely end up causing all kinds of issues.
Don't encourage anyone to wait on an 11 year old.

I agree with xxairesxx

Leave this little girl alone to grow up, go through crushes, then find someone her own age

And you concentrate on making new friends (cz god only knows why you're mating round with an 11 yr old) and meet girls through them

Dude, I think you should do what your heart tells you to, many girls like much older men due to hormones, if you pursue it, the best thimg you could do is meet the parents, explain to them the situation, good luck mate, standen

If I was the mum of that 11 year old girl I would not be happy if a 20 yr old man came to me saying he had feelings for my daughter.. I would do more than chop his off!

Completely wrong

Go straight to jail, do not pass go, do not collect 200 pounds!

Quote:

Originally Posted by stanj028

dude, i think you should do what your heart tells you to, many girls like much older men due to hormones, if you pursue it, the best thimg you could do is meet the parents, explain to them the situation, gud luck mate, standen

You really shouldn't advise someone to break the law.

He could be imprisoned for this.

Do you suggest this from experience?

Quote:

Originally Posted by stanj028

dude, i think you should do what your heart tells you to, many girls like much older men due to hormones, if you pursue it, the best thimg you could do is meet the parents, explain to them the situation, gud luck mate, standen

There's a fine line between following your heart and doing what's right.

And this isn't right.
You might have feelings for someone, but that doesn't mean you're owed anything to be with them. This girl isn't 17 or 16 (which would still be pushing it, and illegal), she's 11.

"Due to hormones"... HAHA. An 11 year old? She probably hasn't even hit puberty yet.

A 11 year old is in 6 grade. Around that age she may have a crush on many guys.

You are an Adult, and should know right from wrong. All because she likes you doesn't mean you should be considering having her as a girldfriend or acting on it. She is in a total different stage from you.

Unless you want to end up in jail, leave her alone and seek help. What you going do if a 9 year old like you? Were are your morals and common sense? If her age can't stop you then maybe you should go to her parents and see what they say. Because if she was my daughter you would get your butt kick before I call the cops.

Quote:

Originally Posted by stanj028

dude, i think you should do what your heart tells you to, many girls like much older men due to hormones, if you pursue it, the best thimg you could do is meet the parents, explain to them the situation, gud luck mate, standen

This girl is a CHILD! He is a MAN! This is ILLEGAL! Get the picture? It has nothing to do with raging hormones! It's got to do with morality, not to mention he could RUIN the girls life and his life! :rolleyes:

Quote:

Originally Posted by stanj028

dude, i think you should do what your heart tells you to, many girls like much older men due to hormones, if you pursue it, the best thimg you could do is meet the parents, explain to them the situation, gud luck mate, standen

Worst advice ever. This will get him 20-life in most every state in the US.

Man - if you are starving for attention this badly, go on craigslist and find yourself a nice hooker. Sure, still against the law but not one most people care about.

I would also like to add that indeed the OP is a pedophile! He is a man, she is a little girl. If he even has feelings like this for a child, this is the beginning of pedophilia. Get help before you are sitting in a prison cell, and trust me, people that are in prison for a crime like that are not looked well upon in prison! STAY AWAY FROM THIS CHILD!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vix89

go straight to jail, do not pass go, do not collect 200 pounds!

Haha... did you play monopoly today are you came up with that off the top of your head?

CLEVER!

Quote:

Originally Posted by southerngalps

haha...did you play monopoly today are you came up with that off the top of your head??

CLEVER!

Not played it in a while... but I'm in the mood for it now hehe

Always up for monopoly... although I get so frustrated cause I never win...

It's like playing risk... I never win that either!

Oops.. don't want to get away from topic :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by southerngalps

always up for monopoly...although i get so frustrated cause i never win...

it's like playing risk...i never win that either!

oops..don't want to get away from topic :)

Well no we don't lol... erm.. erm.. erm.. the OP is like the dude from monopoly with the monacle lusting after a teen.. ick and wrong

Don't pursue it.
You'll find someone, people say if you love someone just go for it and don't let anyone stop you but to be honest, she doesn't know what love is, she doesn't know anything! She's not even a teenager yet.

She's a child, she should be playing with dolls, having tea parties, not dating a man!

Yes, you are right, I do think you're a pedophile. Stay away from this child before you ruin her life and yours.

What's this world coming to? Really people, I'm buying that cabin in the woods before some man decides to date my 6 year old daughter. Grrrrr! :(

You need help, its gross to even think of a child in that way. She is way to young to know what she wants.. You would be considered a pervert in my mind

Don't do it. Meet other,age appropriate, ladies. Get out of you shell. Start socializing. What ever you do, do not get into a relationship with the 11 year old! Be yourself and maybe you will find a girl... that is like you. So, get out and search! Don't be a creep... though!

Do not start a relationship with that girl. She is way too young. You need to find an age appropriate lady. Get out of your shell. Stop being so shy. Go places... express yourself... and maybe you'll meet a girl there... with the same interest. Good luck. What ever you do... DON'T start a relationship with the 11 aged girl.