I am a mom to a teenager and I think she is pregnant. How do I know she is? What should I do?
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I am a mom to a teenager and I think she is pregnant. How do I know she is? What should I do?
Talk to her, not us. Tell her that she can confide in you about anything, and that you are there for her no matter what. But she needs to take responsibility for her actions.
OR
To not accuse her, tell her its about time for her annual pap smear. Take her to get her pap, and make sure the doctor lets you know the results.
Goodness, this certainly will NOT work. PAP smears are not necessary unless a woman is sexually active. Secondly, the doctor is not allowed to give the results to anyone unless the patient signs a release. This is to protect the patient's privacy, and it does not matter how old the patient is when it comes to visits of a sexual nature.Quote:
Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma
Now, to answer your question... You will have to sit down and talk to her about your concerns. Let her know that if she is you will still love her and help her through a healthy pregnancy.
It wasn't stated whether she was sexually active, I was assuming that since her mother thinks she is pregnant she KNOWS that she is sexually active.
And you should tell my mother that, because all of my tests results were divulged to her until I was 18, and I signed nothing.
These are newer laws hun. It's called HIPAA. It is the doctor/patient privilege.
I know what HIPPA is, I'm in the medical field as well. That doesn't mean that it is always followed.
Actually, it is HIPAAQuote:
Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma
AND, we are not here to argue the fact, just to help the OP.
So, back to the OP. Why do you suspect she is pregnant? What symptoms is she presenting with?
And yes, back to the OP. That's a good start, what are the symptoms that lead you to believe that she may be pregnant? Has she told you that she is sexually active? Does she have a regular boyfriend?Quote:
Originally Posted by J_9
I'm a teenage mother & I found it hard to tell my mum as I worried about what she was going to say. I told her after a few days of finding out once I'd let it sink in & decided on what to say to her. I'm sure your daughter will tell you but it might take her a little while until she feels the time is right to tell you.
Yes she has a regular boyfriend. They been going out for along time. She has not stay home a lot. She looks bigger to me. She sleeps more. I know she has had sex. I know they have had sex.
I was the same as your daughter. I stayed away from home for a while worried that my mum would notice & go crazy at me. Eventually after a couple of weeks I went home & decided there was no way I could hide it from my mum any longer. I found it very hard to tell my mum. Has your daughter been able to talk to you about absolutely anything in the past? If she has I'm sure she'll tell you in time.
And have you tried talking to her?
Just talk to her, tell her your concerns. Don't be mad at her.
I had a friend who worked at the same place as me.. She told NO ONE that she was pregnant till she was due a week before... then she told her parents. Everyone thought she was pregnant... the way she walked.. and how she was bigger. But no one said anything cause she was a teen. Her parents excepted it.. I mean she was due in a week.
I just can't imagine holding in that HUGE life changing fact... and telling no one..
Sit her down, tell her you know she is having sex. And you would like her to go on birth control if she isn't pregnant..
Tell her you would rather she not hide things from you. That you are an adult and would like to be there for her no matter what.
I hid things from my mom.. like 2 years ago.. I was raped. And I didn't want her to think it was her fault. I didn't come home at curfew and she told me that I wasent allowed to come home till morning. I said, fine! I would stay in my car. Well, the boy I had just met offered me his house to stay the night at.. well.. he raped me. It wasent her fault.. it was mine for staying out past curfew... After my life was a huge struggle and my mom was at wits ends why I was acting out.. she talked to my aunt who I told what happen. My aunt said she needed to talk to me..
Mom called me on my way home from cosmetology school.. she was crying.. and scared.. I could hear her voice shaking, "Tell me whats wrong.... whats going on? Why wont you tell me? " Then I told her.. as I cried my eyes out..
I felt so much better that she knew.. that I could talk to her.
I guess moral of the story.. Let her know your there for her.. that she can count on you.
Have you ever talked to her about sex once you suspected she was doing it?
Yes I try talking to her about it but she said she was not ready and I think it is time too. I have one kid he is a year younger and I think he know every thing and I have one that is old. Do you think I should talk to all my kids about haven sex? I think they all have been there and done it. I think I need to talk to them before it happens to all of them. I think she thinks I am going to be mad at her but I not. We all are going to love them all no matter what happens.
Yes, its never too early to talk about sex. They actually start sex education in elementary.. round 4th grade for me.
Just give them correct information. And answer their questions.. It might be a little hard, but sex is apart of every normal adult life... so even if they don't use this information young.. (hopefully) but they will use it later.
YES, definitely talk to her about sex. Obviously she is ready for the talk, since she is doing it.
Yes, otherwise they get the wrong information from all their friends. I know I was always curious about sex as a teen and heard so much stuff and all my friends was doing it. It got to where I used to make up stories about doing it when I was a virgin. This is a talk all parents need to have with their child.My 10 year old daughter ask what sex was because my neighbor son ask her if she wants to have sex, he's 8. Can you believe that? I was furious. Having this talk might be a little uncomfortable because you don't want to think of your child doing it but it's best for them to know the right information instead of the wrong and all the things that can happen along with it and the truth about it. I know one I used to hear was "if your on top you won't get pregnant", we all know that untrue but as a teen hearing it from my friend, I believe her.
I started talking to my children about sex around the age of 4. Yeah, I know it sounds young, but I am 44 and not a grandmother YET. LOL, that'll be in December, but my son is 22 and his wife is 20.
You should not leave the sex education to the schools, or their peers. You never know the misinformation the will receive. Sex education should be up to the parents.
How old is your daughter? Sleeping a lot and gaining weight can be symptoms of just being a teenager or even depression or anxiety.
I know all my kids have had sex. They are almost the same age. The both boys have girl friends and the girl has a boy friend. I have 2 teenager boys and 1 teenager girl. I am going to sit down with her and talk about this. Then I will sit down with all to make it not happen again.
Again, what is her age? 13 is a teenager, you know, LOL.
Have you never had the birds and the bees talk with her?
That's a good point, what exactly is her age?
And she said that she hasn't had the birds and the bess talk, but is planning to.
The OP said she has tried and will have a talk with her, I guess again.
I think it's time to talk to all your kids - and not just about loving them no matter what, but about the dangers of unprotected sex and the risks they are taking.
In my opinion, you are taking a big risk with their health and lives if you don't start talking about important things in their lives. What on earth do you talk about when you talk with them, or are they always out and about??
It's far better to be safe than sorry, so start taking your responsibility as a parent serious, please.
Sorry if I am a little harsh here, but you wouldn't be in this predicament if you'd have thought about this a long time ago.
Good luck, I hope it all works out well for all of you.
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I have two boys. One is 16 and the other is 18. My girl is 17. I never had the birds and the bees talk with them. They are never home and with there girlfriends or boyfriends. I think there health is at rick if it is not all ready. I let them stay at there boyfriends and girlfriend house over night and I think it might be wrong. I am a good mom when they need me I am there but I never thought I would have to do this with me.
Yes, you need to sit them down and talk to them. And from the sounds of things you need to spend more time with them.
How long has she been having a boyfriend? Do she spend the night at his house? Does she have a curfew, but most importantly does she follow it?
I used to work at an abortion clinic and your be surprise of the diseases and abortions some had under the age of 16. It's always best for you to have a talk with them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by amy321
From this post I thought you have tried talking to her about sex. I guess I read it wrong.
OK, this is a joke, right?? Sorry, but I'm NOT laughing! Where have YOU been all their lives??Quote:
Originally Posted by amy321
I'm out of here...
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We all hang out on the weekends and go out do stuff. She has this boyfriend for about all most 4 years. She spends night at his house a lot. We need try to stop it but I think it is to late and it feels all my fault.
No this is not a joke. I have been with them but it is hard to do this buy yourself and work.
Millions of other people do it.
I think part of what Chery meant was "I'm a good mother when they need me".
Because they go out and then they never come home. Then when I do tell them to come home and stay they go out when I am sleeping or don't come home from school.
You are making excuses for not parenting. You need to know where your children are 24/7.
Just for the plain fact that you wound up being a single and working mother, you should have educated and prevented the risk of your daughter winding up having the same hard life as you probably had trying to do the best.Quote:
Originally Posted by amy321
I was also a single working mom after my divorce, but my child was with me at home in the evenings and on weekends - just as millions of other single mothers.
Do what you can to correct this while you still can before it's too late.
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I am going to talk to them all I kind of talk to my girl and I know what is going on know. Then there father is going to have to start spending more time with them. I know
If you lost control you should consider social service assistance... get help and don't be too proud to admit a few mistakes and help your kids.Quote:
Originally Posted by amy321
Yes, that's a start. Also, make rules and enforce them. They should not be spending the night out without permission. Also, talk to them about drugs and alcohol, because you never know.
Edit* I meant never should they be allow to spend the night at their boyfriend/girlfriend house that's trouble and if they stay at a friend house you should have their number to confirm with the parent. Especially your 16 and 17 year old.
Yes I made a few mistakes. Well I know this is going to sound bad but I think it is too late for the my girl but still going to try. I am going to try hard with my boys because this is not going to go on no more.
It's never too late to be a good parent. Just because she might be pregnant, it doesn't mean that it's too late to be her mom, and care, and show that you care.
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