Ask Me Help Desk - Why don't they like me?

Why don't they like me?

Hey everyone,
I'm 16 and pretty, I'm not overweight but I think there may be something with my personality because guys always like someone else! I'm a nice person but maybe something might turn them off because the guys I like never really like me? Guys like me but never the ones I like. Its becoming a problem because I've been single for ages and really want a boyfriend. A guy I like is dating one of my best friends and I think they're nearly broken up and I like him but I can't do that to her!

Guys always only like me for a fling or something or hook up but I don't think they are ever looking for a relationship. Is it just me? Or guys in general?

I really need some help and advice.
Thanks

Looks are the first thing people see, but who wants to actually date someone for their looks. Don't be desperate either, which means don't get a boyfriend just for the sake of a boyfriend. Don't do that to your friend. I hate girls like that.

Maybe you come on too strong, just be who you are and relax. Maybe, you are looking into the wrong crowd. Go on dates, have fun get to know these guys. Who knows they could turn into something worth while.

I know guys don't just like people for looks but I just thought I'd say it to show that it can't be my looks turning them off!

Quote:

Originally Posted by sammy76

hey everyone,
im 17 and really really pretty. i know it sounds vain but it is to help with my question. anyway, im stunning, not overweight but i think there may be something with my personality because guys always like someone else!! i'm a nice person but maybe my humour or something might turn them off because the guys i like never really like me? guys like me but never the ones i like. its becoming a problem because ive been single for ages and realy want a boyfriend. a guy i like is dating one of my best friends and i think they're nearly broken up and i like him but i can't do that to her!

i realy need some help and advice.
thanks

I must say that not all the boys in your age group are ready to have a 17 year old girlfriend. I am not saying what age of guy you should be dating but you may want to take that into consideration.

Also glad you said that you really "want" a boyfriend. If you had said that you really "need" a boyfriend, then I would be really concerned.

Also, another poster mentioned about looking in different places (this is a good strategy).

I wish you the best.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sammy76

hey everyone,
im 17 and really really pretty. i know it sounds vain but it is to help with my question. anyway, im stunning, not overweight but i think there may be something with my personality because guys always like someone else!! i'm a nice person but maybe my humour or something might turn them off because the guys i like never really like me? guys like me but never the ones i like. its becoming a problem because ive been single for ages and realy want a boyfriend. a guy i like is dating one of my best friends and i think they're nearly broken up and i like him but i can't do that to her!

i realy need some help and advice.
thanks

Aight Hawt girls are HaWt.

Personalites? Hmm..

I can't tell you how many "HaWt girls" I've turned down because their 'mirror was in check' but not their 'personality.'

Don't be mean, be nice/respectful/be fun etc..

Okay, I'm going to give you some advice, but don't be too upset. I have a 21 year old cousin, very pretty, and that's the first thing you notice about her, not because she's prettier than everyone else, but because she constantly lets you know that she's pretty. She'll put down other people, right to their face, saying things like "Oh, I'm allot prettier than you, I like my clothes better, and I definitely have nicer hair, don't you think so? " She doesn't realize that what she's saying is hurtful. Could it be you're doing that?

Talk to your friends, to boys that you know and ask them what they think, tell them to be honest and then accept that honesty.

Good luck.

Oh no! I never go around saying things like that, I know what its like when other people say that and its very annoying and uncomfortable situation when people do that.

Hello, I see that there is many things you need to learn and understand about life, I like to tell you that the first thing that will help you is to learn more about yourself then read as may as you can literature about self-development then start by look in others the best side of life, you are very young now and at 17th. Birthday many things wondering why this and that, read meanningful books on how personality is create and how we can ajust to it and mold the circunstance to be asertive with your pourpose for life.

Not allowed

I'm 16 and my mother thinks we are really close but I find it hard to talk about personal issues including dating. I've dated before but not that she's known about.
My brothers also try to be really protective so that makes it hard. But its really difficult foe me to date and go out with guys and stuff when I'm not allowed to date.
Any advice please?

Advice I can gi ve... talk to your mom about dating and over protective brothers. Do you really feel comfortable dating behind your mom's back? What if something happened and she didn't know ?

Present yourself to your mom as a mature teen. At 16 its not unreasonable to be dating. Let mom set some ground rules like meeting the boys first and where you can go, Gradually, these restrictions can be removed as you prove yourself.

At your age many kids are into the looks, the material and physical things and bypass anything that doesn't live up to their material standards... that is their lose. Like L Invencible said work on you being the best you and one day people will see your true inner beauty.

Talk to your mom she wants to be there for you. She can also probably give you a lot of good advice about girls and women. It doesn't sound like she wants to be so protective of you, she just wants to be cool with you and let you know you can talk to her about anything. Maybe the next time you and your mom hang or go to dinner etc, say something like "ohh that gir;'s cute for me what do u think mom?" break the ice that way, so it's not akward.

If you want your relationship with your Mom and your brothers to be more mature, that takes intentional, uncomfortable work. Left to its own development, your relationships with them will stay the same, Mom will always be a little distant and the brothers will be a little too over-protective.

The only way to change that is on purpose. You'll have to suck it up and push through the awkward to start talking to them about adult topics. Talking to them about things that make them uncomfortable will go badly at first. You'll have to bring it up, let them respond badly, then point out that you NEED them to be more mature and talk about these things with you. You think family is a safe environment and want to be able to discuss adult issues with them, so you need them to do better next time.

It's a little guilt here and there that adjust our behaviors. You standing there telling them you NEED to be able to talk to them about boys and sex and relationships is a NEED you have should get them slowly moving in the right direction.

Give it time, but start the process, and push through the awkward.

Your 16 now, your mother most likely knows that you will soon be or already have dated. Mothers know more than you give them credit for. Approach your mother, and let her know that you value your relationship, and that to be closer you want to be able to tell her personal Things. Perhaps you should start by asking her how she would feel if you did date/have a boyfriend. I hope this helps :)

Your 16.. prime years of dating man! Those are your "puppy love" years.

I would do the same as you are.

First get your mom's permission and talk to her, part of being mature and old enough to date is being able to express and talk and make some harder choices. Sneaking around behind her back is not the way to gain her trust

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rabbit91

Your 16.. prime years of dating man! Those are your "puppy love" years.

I would do the same as you are.

Actually I agree with what rabbit saying your just trying to relate to her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sammy76

im 16 and my mother thinks we are really close but i find it hard to talk about personal issues including dating. i've dated before but not that she's known about.
my brothers also try to be really protective so that makes it hard. but its really difficult foe me to date and go out with guys and stuff when im not allowed to date.
any advice please?

Well don't tell her anything,find someone that your comfortable talking with.most teennagers find it helpful talking to another adult besides family meember.. do you know anyone?

Do they like it?

I was just wondering if guys like girls wearing make-up?
Or how much they like girls to wear?
I'm 16 and a half and curious if if I should stop wearing it as it may be a turn off?
Please help

It's like asking if certain guys like tomatoes.

... really depends on the guy.

Me personally, I like girls with NO makeup. Don't get me wrong, they're beautiful when they do put on makeup... but on a daily basis, I LOVE the natural look.

...

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How to...

..,

I agree with jeremy on this.

Why would you want to do that.. I feel that relationships would work out really well if both sides just laid out their feelings for one another... granted, don't get overly clingy and don't make that person your entire life, but what's wrong with openly sharing emotions?

Take it from a guy... it's REALLY confusing when a guy shows that he's interested in a girl, and she sends mixed signals. Especially since you're 16... guys in high school... they don't understand that girls play games. Sends the guy on an emotional roller coaster... eventually ends up here asking, "I like this girl, but she's playing with my emotions"... then gets advice such as, "Leave her alone. she's not worth it."

Hope that makes sense. If you tell a guy how you feel... it may work out.

Are you ready to take care of managing all the responsibilities and monetary costs of getting pregnant and subsequently having a baby, as well as facing the possible legal consequences, depending on the age of your boyfriend? If not, then I don't think that it would be a good idea for you to be having sex.

Best to be thinking ahead about possible consequences...

I'm sure that others will also be along to address your post. I do wish you well and also the best!

Well, I'm going to save you the trouble and tell you that most of the people on this thread will tell you... to not have sex until you're "physically, emotionally, and financially ready to have a child."

... there, I did it.

With that said, I know most kids aren't going to listen to that... so.. here goes.

You just asked a question on how you can seem mysterious and lead guys on...

... so...

To answer your question... find a neutral ground. I know it's hard being in high school.. sneaking around... etc. but perhaps you two can somehow work out your schedules... so you can perhaps go to a drive in... or rent a motel room... perhaps a friend's house?

Please, please, please... use protection. Be safe. Don't end up being that girl who asks, "can I be pregnant?"

Excellent answer above! Just one more addition by me, and that would be that, you might want to consider whether this guy is the one with whom you would want to spend the rest of your life. If he's not, then why save yourself for the person who will be the one that you just might want to be with the rest of your life and/or be the father of your baby.

I couldn't spread the rep for you so soon, ISneezeFunny. But, did notice that she asked on another thread about how to lead guys on. So, that makes me think that this one guy probably isn't the one who she would consider to be her "one and only."

The first wedding that I ever played for, I was 14, he was 15 and she was 16. Their marriage lasted only a couple of years.

Yeah... I know I'm a bit older... at 22, but the past year or so, I've been to six weddings... all of them of my high school friends. Some of them chose to get married... some of them were shotgun weddings.

Fortunately, they're all still married... but it's a bit sad... seeing them not REALLY living their lives... having to take full time jobs while going to school.. some of them taking night classes at community colleges... some of them that didn't go to college...

Don't have sex until you can afford your own apartment or house, afford to be pregnant (as that's a possibility).

I agree. It is a matter of opinion and preference. I think that girls can make themselves look prettier with a little bit of makeup. However, too much can really be too much. I remember when my daughter was about your age. She "dolled" herself up with a little bit of makeup and looked great! My mother also had a saying when I was a kid and would ask her about her applying makeup to herself. It was, "A little bit of powder and a little bit of paint, makes a ladies freckles look as if they ain't!"

Like it was said before it depends on the guy. But a better question is: Do you like wearing makeup? If so, then do it. Don't change or alter your appearance or who you are for a guy. It WILL backfire.

But to you I say, you are 16, and if you can go natural then DO IT! I have so many freckles, scars, and roscea that natural isn't an option. Love your young skin while you have it!!

I have slightly dark circles under my eyes and freckles as well as the occasional pimple so I wear it and I feel a lot more comfortable wearing it but I'm just worried that people will think I look bad if I was too stop wearing it, but if I wear too much, some people comment on the amount.
I enjoy wearing it, but I am just confused as to what I should do

Do what makes you happy.

I would suggest applying makeup in small amounts. Applying makeup is an art that takes some practice to get really good at it. Since you are young, chances are that you don't need much makeup at all. Getting together with friends and seeing what each other thinks of the makeup job that one of you has done might be something that you could consider doing.

There are a number of sites devoted to the application of make-up. You might want to check some of them out. There are available via the following search.

How to Apply Makeup - Google Search

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clough

I would suggest applying makeup in small amounts.

From a stand point of a 16yr guy I don't mind makeup but never wear too much it just look plain stupid. Don't plasterit around your eye or make your sheck pink, or make your lips glow in the dark, a lot of guys don't like that, a little to just even out the skin or what ever is alwas nice

Check out Welcome to Pursebuzz.com I LOVE her makeup! And hair ideas!

What do you think about bare minerals? Just got a set for me ma...

I want to try it, I've tried generic mineral makeup and hated it.

If you get comments on over applying makup but still like wearing it, cut back. Instead of foundation and powder and blush and bronzer, try to skip the full face foundation and only use it to cover individual pimples, etc, and make sure you have the right shade and that it won't clog your already clogged pores. Just apply powder and a little bit of blush (make sure it's not too dark)... (if blush is the first thing you see in the mirror, it's too much. It should be suttle). Do a lip gloss instead of lipstick and lip liner, or even better, just use lip balm (they even have tinted lip balm)... it's usually got spf and moisturizer in it. For eyes, you can skip the eye shadow and just put on mascara. Brown mascara instead of black will make your lashes full without making them dramatic and "over done." Don't use eye liner, or if you do, only put it on your lower lid and taper it to where it ends in the middle of your eye lid rather than going from one side all the way to the other. Brown is more suttle here too. Hope you can decipher all this :-D. Good luck.