Ask Me Help Desk - 16, married? Baby?

16, married? Baby?

Well, Im italian and my fiancée is arabic. We started dating and my family flipped out about it at first because he wasn't "white" or "italian" and as they got to know him, they completely adore him. My family comes from a background of nothing but success in college and work wise. So when I came home to tell them I was engaged it toally freaked them out and was completely "unruly" for the family. Well, needless to say we wanted to move in together so we got "legally" married cause our family both don't agree with living together without being married. However, I no longer go to high school and I work full time. But Im going to go to a local college to finish and get my hs diploma in a shorter time. & before everyone thinks we can't support ourselves, he's 21 and owns 2 gas stations and a restaurant in the next town over so we did buy our house. Its 7 months later and I think I'm pregnant and If I'm not he wants to try for a baby now. Our real wedding is suppose to be in November but If I'm pregnant we agreed on next dec. since I've always wanted a winter wedding. Im just not sure what my family would think if I was pregnant before finishing my college plans. Adivce?

I would suggest at the very least getting your high school diploma before having a baby. And perhaps some college.

If you are not, I think you should wait

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

I would suggest at the very least getting your high school diploma before having a baby. And perhaps some college.

I am in school for teaching now. & I'm ALSO in the same college to get my hs diploma in a college (a program they have here) so you can get everything done at once faster. So ill be finish this August with an elementry school teaching degree. Just thinking about the baby because my husband is always working and now ill be teaching next summer.

Where do you live where you can be done with a teaching degree at 16?

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

Where do you live where you can be done with a teaching degree at 16??

NC. They have a program called huskins & I go from 12-3 there and then 5:30-9-:30 I go to ahs (which is the hs program) you need 28 credits to graduate from a public high school but at this hs program you need 20 & when I left public hs I had 17 credits already. & here in NC you don't need all the requirements like you do anywhere else like in NY where I'm from to be a teacher. You only need 2yrs. Of school & 1 of those yrs. Being "hands on" and that's the yr. I'm in.

& actually I'm 17. Birthday was today :]. However, because I did finish early, I can only be a co-side teacher in the class room until I'm 18 & then when I am 18 I can be reviewed to be put in my own classroom.

So, you're saying that you got a teaching degree before your high school diploma? I was under the impression that you needed a hs diploma or GED to even enroll in such a program.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

So, you're saying that you got a teaching degree before your high school diploma? I was under the impression that you needed a hs diploma or GED to even enroll in such a program.

Dual enrollment. & ill get my hs degree from the school in the middle of August & if I pass the state test for the teaching degree, ill get my certificate for that in the end of august-beginning of September.

I understand that, but most schools require you to have a high school diploma or GED to enroll in a teaching program.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

I understand that, but most schools require you to have a high school diploma or GED to enroll in a teaching program.

No, that's why its called huskins. Huskins is only for students still in high school. They have it here for cosmetology, computers, and teaching here. I think they may have it for cars too. I'm not sure.

Hmm.. Interesting.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

Hmm..Interesting.

Its kind of neat.

In my research it appears that you must have a 4-year bachelor's degree to be an Elementary School Teacher, and what you are desribing is that you are currently in the process of earning your Early Childhood Education degree, correct?

My thoughts are...

You're 17 and haven't gotten to fully enjoy life yet, let alone youth. When your friends are out having their teen fun, you are at home with the baby to take care of, a home to keep up with and a husband to be there for. Having a child can be hard and you can't play around. You are responsible for him/her which means very little time to go out with friends, much less for yourself.

I suggest dating this boyfriend of yours for a bit longer, getting an education in (finishing high school should be your top priority), get a part time job, have a blast with your friends and enjoy your teen years. Please.

To each their own though. I know I most definitely couldn't have done it at 17.

I agree, try and enjoy your youth while you still have it. Don't try to grow up too fast.

And BB-I think she is already married, so the dating thing is kind of void.

OMG married at 17? Sheesh...

Maybe they are old fashioned. Familys 'back in the day (not sure when though :) )' used to get married kind of young too, didn't they? Wasn't it in the 1800's? I don't know.

All I know is, is that getting married that young today isn't common, but like I said, to each their own.

I know. I'm 22. I'm not ready for marriage or babies.

Not even close. Although I love my boyfriend with all my heart!

I would like to have children soon but not when I was 17.

I want to start trying around 26-27ish. After I'm married, of course.

Also, something else. If her husband owns three businesses, I'm wondering what HIS age is.

She said he's 21 :eek:

Oh, I missed that. I think there is another issue at hand. WHY would either of your parents push you to marry someone that they could send to jail for being with you? I'm beginning to approve of this situation less and less.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

Oh, I missed that. I think there is another issue at hand. WHY would either of your parents push you to marry someone that they could send to jail for being with you?? I'm beginning to approve of this situation less and less.

My parents didn't push me to marry him. And actually they completely dis-approved of him at first especially my grandfather until they sat down with him and had a decent conversation with him. People might think I'm crazy for getting married at 17, BUT you have to take into consideration that in my background (being born in italy and not moving to the states until I was 12 to new york) its not such a bad idea to be married at 17. And in his background its not that bad of an idea either. I mean, we both have a head on our shoulders and I'm not exactly your tipical 17 yr. old. My father died when I was young and it was just my mother and I for awhile. I basically raised myself when she was at work 24.7. I have a good head on my shoulders and my husband already has his life started with his business. So its not like I ran off, got married, and were poor and living at home you know. Its different.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loren3308

my parents didnt push me to marry him. and actually they completely dis-approved of him at first especially my grandfather until they sat down with him and had a decent conversation with him. People might think im crazy for getting married at 17, BUT you have to take into consideration that in my background (being born in italy and not moving to the states until i was 12 to new york) its not such a bad idea to be married at 17. and in his background its not that bad of an idea either. I mean, we both have a head on our shoulders and im not exactly your tipical 17 yr. old. my father died when i was young and it was just my mother and I for awhile. I basically raised myself when she was at work 24.7. I have a good head on my shoulders and my husband already has his life started with his business. so its not like i ran off, got married, and were poor and living at home ya know. its diffrent.

No one is judging you, and I don't think there is a such thing as a typical 17 year old. Or typical ANY year old.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

No one is judging you, and I don't think there is a such thing as a typical 17 year old. Or typical ANY year old.

I know I'm just saying... well its not "normal" to get married at 17 lets face that but I'm just saying like its different for me then it would be any other girl down here (NC) that were to go home and tell their parents their getting married. Down here, the parents would probably throw them out to be honest.

Normal? In most places it's not LEGAL to get married at 17. You have to have a parent sign for it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

Normal? In most places it's not LEGAL to get married at 17. You have to have a parent sign for it.

Your correct.

Loren,

Points for you getting married so young. I couldn't have done it.

I did give you advice on the 2nd page and please take into consideration that the divorce rate here in the US is extremely high, maybe up to 50% so please take responsibility for your actions. I would hate to hear that you are unhappily married.

Congratulations on your husband's success, and same as you. I suggest getting a GED and then applying to a good college which offers child education.

Good luck!