Hay there. Please help. Here's my question. Since I met my boyfriend(when I was twelve) We have been going out for a year and 4 months now. And I turn 14 in a month. We have tried having sex a lot of times But it just hurts too much for me and I don't know if its my body saying I'm not ready yet or it its ust normal and I should take the pain. I know its meant to hurt a little bit But this doesn't hurt a little bit it hurts A lot! Instead of having sex we either do Anal or just regular foreplay. Oral ECT Or he puts it in as far as it can go without it hurting and he ejaculates I don't know if this is going to get me pregnant Because I thought the only way the sperm could find the eggs were if the hymen was broken I have had heaps of tests because I've threw up in the mornings and I felt I was gaining weight and according to the doctor he's pretty sure I had a miscarriage because of what he found in my underwear with my period. Im scared of getting pregnant Cause I'm only 13 and my mum doesn't know about it. Can what me and my boyfriend are doing actually get me pregnant Cause we do it all the time. Should we stop or make sure its protected? And why can't I have sex is there something wrong with me. Im pretty sure I'm ready and I know he's the one. Help me !

OK u are way to young to be anything like that at your age
Just think if you were to get pregnant at 13 shhww that would be awful
U should just tell your boyfriend that you are not ready
And God will be with you no mater what happens and you need to stop

If it hurts that much, don't do it. You're too young and your body is trying to tell you that! You're much too young to be getting into this kind if thing. Penetrative sex is for older people. You're a child. Whether he's "the one", you shouldn't be having sex until you're a lot older.
And you should definitely be using protection. You CAN get pregnant. And it's quite likely that you will at this rate.
Do your parents know what you're doing?
Let yourself be a child for just a few more years. Sex can wait, and you'll probably enjoy it a lot more when you're older.

Take care,

Kal

Well honestly I think that if you are pregnant you and your boyfriend should go see a counseler


*** moderator note: seriously edited - inappropriate language

The best way to prevent having babies is to not have sex. So what does that mean? Stop having sex. Use your head for god's sake!

Well first, there are dozens of infections you can get from Anal sex, esp if you are not using a condom. And of course this is for too young to be having any type of sex,

And yes, if he is in at all, or even if the sperm gets in by hand that has it on, there can be a chance of being pregnant.

So if you are not on birth control and using condoms you should not even consider it.

Also remember that at you age, legally you can not have sex, and the boy who is having sex with you can be sent to jail for having sex with you.
And honeslty he needs to go, since this is very criminal.

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Also remember that at you age, legally you can not have sex, and the boy who is having sex with you can be sent to jail for having sex with you.
And honeslty he needs to go, since this is very criminal.

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If he's underage too, nobody can be sent to jail for this. All the same, you need birth control, you should be using a condom even for anal and oral, and you should definitely not be doing any of this for a few more years.

I'm not trying to sound like a patronising older person who wants to telly ou how to live your life. I'm just very concerned about your wellbeing.

Kal

I diidnt ask this question to be told to use protection. I'm not stupid. When yourr thirteen you don't always have protection with you. I wish I never asked this question because some of you are making me feel like . But thank you to the people who are actually giving me proper advice not just saying use protection Gosh your dumb!

That's not answering my question I asked if you could get protection with what we were doing.

Oh and Can youu get infections from Anal even if He hasn't been with anyone but you.

Okay, my previous piece of advice was mis-interpreted so I'm starting over considering I have a red block. If it hurts don't do it. Like I made a promise with my boyfriend that if he's really right for me we'll be together forever right? And I think forever is long enough to have sex once we're past the age of consent. Yup yup. Like I know people who do those kinds of things (it's not uncommon so don't be so judgemental towards kids like that you other people). Also there's no age limit for over-the-counter birth control (from what I know that's accurate, right?). Are you both in for it or is it just him?

Honey... he SAYS he hasn't been with anyone but you. If you trust that, then take those risks with your life.

Yes, you can get pregnant, and probably will.

Is it your body telling you not to have sex? Probably. At 13, you really haven't developed completely yet.

I'd like to know how anal, which is usually a LOT more painful for most women, works for you yet vaginal doesn't.

As far as the lectures go--don't you think you deserve them, at least in part? You're taking chances with your life by having sex so young (diseases, pregnancy, etc). Don't you think you'd RATHER have people concerned about you?

You need to talk with your parents, if for no other reason than to go in and get a full gynecological examination, which you should definitely have if you're having ANY kind of sex. I'd recommend birth control as well, but you'll have to talk to your doctor about that, because I don't know what the reprecussions of birth control might have on your body.

As far as feeling bad about the lectures--tough. A lot of us have kids your age, and we'd LOVE to lock you all up so you weren't being so dumb. Unless you are absolutely ready to be a parent (and don't even TRY to tell me you are, young lady--I doubt you have a job, or a decent income, a home, a high school diploma, etc.), then you shouldn't be having sex.

There are infections that can be spread through sex (including anal and oral) that he could have got from other sources, even if he's never had sex with anyone else.
And if you're certain that you want to have sex, never do it without protection. If there isn't any protection at hand, you'll just have to resist.

Kal

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Originally Posted by Synnen

Honey...he SAYS he hasn't been with anyone but you. If you trust that, then take those risks with your life.

Yes, you can get pregnant, and probably will.

Is it your body telling you not to have sex? Probably. At 13, you really haven't developed completely yet.

I'd like to know how anal, which is usually a LOT more painful for most women, works for you yet vaginal doesn't.

As far as the lectures go--don't you think you deserve them, at least in part? You're taking chances with your life by having sex so young (diseases, pregnancy, etc). Don't you think you'd RATHER have people concerned about you?

You need to talk with your parents, if for no other reason than to go in and get a full gynecological examination, which you should definitely have if you're having ANY kind of sex. I'd recommend birth control as well, but you'll have to talk to your doctor about that, because I don't know what the reprecussions of birth control might have on your body.

As far as feeling bad about the lectures--tough. A lot of us have kids your age, and we'd LOVE to lock you all up so you weren't being so dumb. Unless you are absolutely ready to be a parent (and don't even TRY to tell me you are, young lady--I doubt you have a job, or a decent income, a home, a high school diploma, etc.), then you shouldn't be having sex.

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I don't understand that either. I haven't told my mum or dad about any of this and I don't plan to. I don't think my mum would think much of me as she lost her virginity at a very young age aswel.Shes told me too many times not to go there and I don't want her to know I just ignored everything she ever told me. No I'm defintly not ready to be a parent and I don't want to be one either. Ive been on birth control before but I had a lot of problems with my period so my doctor told me my body wasn't ready yet and I was taken off it. I can't help having feelings for him that make me want to have sex I have a lot of friends who have and I know a lot of people who have so I don't think I'm any different Im just proud of myself because I haven't done what other girls have done Like Had sex with more than at least ten guys who are a lot older than them. I waited a full 8 months before my boyfriend saw me naked and if I trust him then I will do whatever I want. Thanks for the advice. Not meaning to sound like a know it all cause I'm not.

Also, I'm pretty sure your hymen is broken if he's been inside you. Like it can break in multiple ways (stretching for example) so you can't be too sure about what's going on unless you get checked out. Just be careful. I know some girls who are 14 and have experimented and they basically screwed themselves up. They lost their friends and had to make friends with kids that aren't too nice. It's really sad and you need to be careful and aware of these things. Remember, knowledge is power. Try and educate yourself about the risks and side effects these activities could involve.

The fact that you even have to ask these questions just proves you are too young to be having sex!! You ARE having sex by the way... oral, anal, etc ARE SEX! And yes, you can get pregnant even if your hymen is still intact. There are wholes/tears in it that allow the blood to flow through when you get your period! Use protection! Even when you don't have vaginal sex. You can still contract STDs during other sexual activities...

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Originally Posted by pookiebear32

okay, my previous piece of advice was mis-interpreted so i'm starting over considering I have a red block. If it hurts don't do it. Like I made a promise with my boyfriend that if he's really right for me we'll be together forever right? And I think forever is long enough to have sex once we're past the age of consent. Yup yup. Like I know people who do those kinds of things (it's not uncommon so don't be so judgemental towards kids like that you other people). Also there's no age limit for over-the-counter birth control (from what I know that's accurate, right?). Are you both in for it or is it just him?

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Ive stopped trying to have sex with him because I'm ovbiously not ready. Ive been on birth control before and it totally messed up my period and made it a very stressful time for me. Are we both in for what ?

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Originally Posted by Saraah

Ive stopped trying to have sex with him because im ovbiously not ready. Ive been on birth control before and it totaly messed up my period and made it a very stressful time for me. Are we both in for what ?

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Well that's good that you have, especially since our hormones are all over the place. Like do both of you guys want a more intimate relationship or do you think that one of you want it more than another?

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Originally Posted by rockerchick26

The fact that you even have to ask these questions just proves you are too young to be having sex!!! You ARE having sex by the way...oral, anal, etc ARE SEX! And yes, you can get pregnant even if your hymen is still intact. There are wholes/tears in it that allow the blood to flow through when you get your period! Use protection! Even when you don't have vaginal sex. You can still contract STDs during other sexual activities...

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I already know I'm to young. And Thanks.

I waited until I'd been going out with my boyfriend for 2 years before he saw me naked. I was 16.

The second time we had sex, I got pregnant. I was on the pill (taking it every day at the Same time). He wore a condom (we read the instructions and made SURE we were using it correctly) and we used a spermicide (also following the directions).

I know what those urges are like! We're not all stupid old people here who never knew that sex feels GOOD! I like sex a LOT!

BUT--you need to hold off. Mutual masturbation feels good too, and can't get you pregnant and has a MUCH lower chance of spreading disease.

You think your mom doesn't know, right? How much are you willing to bet that she does, and is just waiting for you to come to her? Honestly, parents are not all completely clueless, hon. And there's a definite change about a person when they're having sex on a fairly regular basis.

Look--what we're saying is that sex, especially given your age, is dangerous. VERY dangerous. We wouldn't want you to play with handgrenades, either, or jumping out of planes, or joining the military at your age, either.

Synnen: are you serious? Pill + condom + spermicide... and pregnancy?

... do I really want to have sex anymore?. I'm not so sure...

I know you said you tried birth control before... have you tried different kinds? I had to try 4-5 different pills before I found the right one for me. I went through periods that lasted MONTHS at a time before I found one that worked for me!

Oh yes, we have several on her ( J9 also I believe) that got pregnant while on the pill. I had a fourth son the same way also, no one method is 100 percent, so even using two, while not 100 percent it is that 99.99 but then there still is that slight chance, which means some will still get pregnant. The only way to be 100 percent sure is not to have sex.

Well because I've stopped trying to have sex intill I'm a lot older I don't need to find the right pill at the moment but when I do have se ill keep that in mind Thank you =]

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Originally Posted by Saraah

Hay there. Please help. Heres my question. Since i met my boyfriend(when i was twelve) We have been going out for a year and 4 months now. and i turn 14 in a month. We have tried having sex alot of times But it just hurts to Much for me and i dont know if its my body saying im not ready yet or it its ust normal and i should take the pain. i know its meant to hurt a little bit But this doesnt hurt a little bit it hurts ALOT !. Instead of having sex we either do Anal or just regular foreplay. Oral ECT Or he puts it in as far as it can go without it hurting and he ejaculates i dont know if this is going to get me pregnant Because i thought the only way the sperm could find the eggs were if the hymen was broken i have had heaps of tests because ive threw up in the mornings and I felt i was gaining weight and according to the doctor hes pretty sure i had a miscarriage because of what he found in my underwear with my period. Im scared of getting pregnant Cause im only 13 and my mum doesnt know about it. Can what me and my boyfriend are doing actually get me pregnant Cause we do it all the time. Should we stop or make sure its protected? and why can't i have sex is there something wrong with me. Im pretty sure im ready and i know hes the one. Help me !

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Oh and Can youu get infections from Anal even if He hasn't been with anyone but you.

Yes you can... and I do believe if you keep it up you won't ge able to keep your (poop in) because god did not make it for a sex hole.

If your not ready hun id have to say don't do it.

And your still a baby yourself give it time be a kid.

And if you do end up having a baby who's going to take care of it. At your age you can't even get a job. Why bring something in this world to that or even you having to give the child up ( ever think about that or are you the one that cares for her needs)

Well actually if the boy is underage, he can go to "kiddy jail" juv detention, and actually she could also.

Social services, Child Protective services could find that the parents are being neglective in their supervision of the child to allow this to happen, and the children put in detention and latter even foster care for the child's protection.

Hey I know what you feel like I had a boyfrend and when we tried to have sex it hurt so much but yes it can get you pregnanat even if you don't get it all the way in because if he ejaculates and the sex is unprotected then the sperm can still go up into your cerix and find the eggs. And also I suggest that you and your boyfriend use protection and a lubricant wuld help to stop the pain as it would make it easier to slide in. I think that's about the best advice I can give right now

OH MY GOSH!

She actually gave me advice that makes me feel better Thank you =] so much

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

well actually if the boy is underage, he can go to "kiddy jail" juv detention, and actually she could also.

Social services, Child Protective services could find that the parents are being neglective in their supervision of the child to allow this to happen, and the children put in detention and latter even foster care for the childs protection.

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My parents aren't neglecting there supervision of me My mum and me have one of the most strongest open relatioships ever. I just don't feel the need of telling her that because she diid the same thing just worse when she was my age so I'm scared she's going to be really dissapointed.

I hope the advice I gave helped you because I know exactly how you feel as I have done the same thing and I'm only 14 I hope everything goes okay... sending my best xxx emma

If you're scared of getting pregnant, the smartest thing to do is to STOP having sex. You're only thirteen... you're still a child yourself, and you're not emotionally ready for the commitment of a sexual relationship, or for having a child. If your boyfriend really cares about you, he'll understand that you aren't ready and don't want to be doing it.

If it's hurting, that's a good signal that you should NOT be doing it... your body isn't ready for it. And yes, you can get infections from anal sex even if he hasn't been with anyone else... especially if you have anal and then he tries to enter your vagina afterwards, without cleaning himself off... that is VERY unsanitary. Even if you were using protection, he would need to change condoms between anal and vaginal.

Oh my well I am 16 right now And I've had Sex.. but when I've thought about it I don't think I was ready yet and I'm going to wait a little longer too start having an sexual relationship again I honistly think that You being Only 14? Shouldn't be Having sex yet You might think your ready But wait acouple more years and if you Honistly can't wait Then Only Do Oral sex I know it isn't great advice but its better too be safe then sorry Your Too young Tell your Boyfriend to calm down and Go out have fun Go swimming Your Young and have a lot to look forward too

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

well actually if the boy is underage, he can go to "kiddy jail" juv detention, and actually she could also.

Social services, Child Protective services could find that the parents are being neglective in their supervision of the child to allow this to happen, and the children put in detention and latter even foster care for the childs protection.

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But neither of them are technically committing a criminal act. It's illegal, but not criminal. That is as long as they're both close in age and uner the age of consent.

Kal

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Originally Posted by KalFour

But neither of them are technically commiting a criminal act. It's illegal, but not criminal. That is as long as they're both close in age and uner the age of consent.

Kal

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Statutory Rape is a CRIMINAL matter!!

YOU ARE THIRTEEN! Don't have sex. Sex is for adults, not some adolescent teenager. How old is your boyfriend? If you continue to have sex, you will get pregnant. You don't have to tear your hymen to get pregnant. Any sperm that enters your vagina will get you pregnant. I have been told, that if it hurts, it is not love. Sex should be as enjoyable for the girl as it is for the man. And if he truly is the one (which I highly doubt, considering that you are only 13) then it won't matter to him if you have sex or not. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 2 years and 5 months. We have never had sex once and this doesn't matter to me at all. Because I love her and she is the one I want to marry and I know that, that is something I can look forward to. Plus, it is better to wait. Sex just gets in the way of things... Especially at this age. I would encourage you to not have sex.

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Originally Posted by Curlyben

Statutory Rape is a CRIMINAL matter !!!

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I realise this. But it's a crime that CANNOT be committed by two 13 year olds. It's only statutory rape if it's an older person and a minor. If they're both 13, it's not legal for them to have sex but neither of them is technically committing a crime.
If one were 16 (or older) and the other 13, the 16 year old would be guilty of statutory rape. But not if they're both as young as 13 or 14.

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Originally Posted by Curlyben

Statutory Rape is a CRIMINAL matter !!!

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Not if they are both underage. And are close in age. But we don't know how old her boyfriend is. She's been told to stop, and she's said she had. I applaud her for it. When sarah said that other girls her age said that they had sex, it reminded me of a girl I knew I middle school. There were a lot of people who didn't like her. Including me. But she thought that she was very popular, indeed she was, but when you were that big, everybody knew you. She told my group of friends that she had had sex before. When somebody asked her what it was like, she gave a description. I thought she was telling the truth. But looking back and having expirenced sex myself, I KNOW that she was lying and was only saying that because she wanted to appear mature. Take everything that girls say at your age with a grain of salt. It is not always true. Your mom will be disappointed when you tell her, but you need to tell her, if you don't tell her this, what won't you tell her in the future? Mother's dissappointment, sometimes makes lessons stick for the future, and it will strengthen your relationship with her.

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Originally Posted by KalFour

I realise this. But it's a crime that CANNOT be committed by two 13 year olds. It's only statutory rape if it's an older person and a minor. If they're both 13, it's not legal for them to have sex but neither of them is technically committing a crime.
If one were 16 (or older) and the other 13, the 16 year old would be guilty of statutory rape. But not if they're both as young as 13 or 14.

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If two minors are sexually involved, then the boy can get prosecuted. But it is too difficult to charge anyone because without witnesses it is just her word against his, and any witnesses could be an accessory.
Although DNA testing would be used if the girl was missing or dead and the boy was a suspect.
Funny that even though girls mature earlyer than boys do, they can't possibly make a decision about having intercourse, but a ten year old boy can...

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Can what me and my boyfriend are doing actually get me pregnant

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Yes

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Should we stop or make sure its protected?

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Stop

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why can't I have sex is there something wrong with me

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Your body may not be ready or his penis may be too large for your vagina

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Im pretty sure I'm ready and I know he's the one.

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At your age there's no way you're ready and no way you can know that he's the one. You're way too young to be worrying about or messing around with this stuff.

You are too young for that. In my opinion, you should wait until you two are married. But if you don't want to then at least wait until you are out of high school. You should definitely stop just in case it can make you pregnant. Even if you are protected there is still a risk of you getting pregnant. And I don't know why you can't have sex but you may want to have a doctor look at it (when your older of course) or just stop for awhile ( possibly the above mentioned?) and try again... im trying my best because, like you, I am 13 but I have not had sex with a guy and nor do I intend to until I get married but that's just me.

Can this thread please be closed?

Sarah has already said that she is going to stop having sex and wait until she is older, yet people keep responding without reading the entire thread, or without at least acknowledging that they've read the entire thread and just want to put their 2 pennies in.

It's like beating a dead horse, imo.