M 17 and a girl that I like and likes me back is 13. We have know each other a long time now and want to go out, but we don't know if it is illegal or not. Her parents are fine with us dating and are actually happy about it. We aren't going to have sex. The most we will do is kiss. Is there anything illegal about this that I should be worried about? I've been told that it is considered gross sexual imposition, but I know nothing about that. I'm from Arizona in case that helps and we have a different law. We've tried waiting till she gets older but we only lasted 6 months and it hurts too much to wait any longer, but we don't know if there are any legal issues I should worry about and my mom doesn't want me dating her. I don't really know what to do anymore

If the age of consent where you live is 14, 15, 16, or 17, then yes, it is illegal to touch a child (Which she, no doubt, legally is at 13) in any way, including romantic kissing and things like that.

Then I'm not allowed to kiss her? I'm not eighteen right now so does that still apply or only when I turn eighteen? And what about when she turns fourteen

Then I'm not allowed to kiss her? I'm not eighteen right now so does that still apply or only when I turn eighteen? And what about when she turns fourteen


No, not romantically or anything like that, that would be considered gross sexual imposition or sexual assault or something like that.. and you won't be able to until she reaches the age of consent, which in my state is 16, the state I grew up in it was 17, but in Arizona is is 18.

I would say that it is wrong, first a 13 year old child has no business with a 17 year old, and any respectable parent would put a end to it before it started.

And let me see 17 and 13 this year is 18 and 14 and then 19 and 15,
So sooner or latter, the boy will end up doing illegal sexual activiy and chnce being a registered sex offender the rest of his life. Example is the boy who just got out of jail in GA with a 10 year sentence for having sex with his under age girlfriend.

What do you mean by romantically

Any sexual touching could be considered child abuse at this point for a 13 year old child.

Including kising?

Whoops wrong spot, anyway does that include kissing

Yes, including kissing I believe. If a 90 year old man starting making out with a 13 year old, it'd be the same deal as a 17 year old making out with a 13 year old.

Are you sure its illegal
So far in the sexual conduct thing it just says sex in anyway or something like that

At 13 you get into the entire child abuse, heck in GA it is illegal to actually curse in front of minor children.

But yes at 13 there are many ways to attack what is illegal beyond the pure sex issue. If you were 14 or 15 it would be different than 17 even.
Move on and find a girl that will not end you up in jail.

It would be like an adult kissing a little kid romantically from a legal standpoint, so I think yes, it's illegal.

What's the difference from romantic kissing and just kissing?

If a parent or relative kisses a child on the forehead or maybe the hand, it's not considered wrong or illegal, but if it's a minor child and their much older boyfriend, any kind of kissing basically is romantic kissing and I think it's illegal.

Did you find any proof, I really want to know cause me and her have been trying to wait and figure this out for a long time now

Most things I've read consider a legal adult kissing with a minor to be sexual contact, which is illegal, and the adult can be charged with child molestation/related things.. Also, even if the parents approve now, they may change their mind at any time and press charges.

Also, kissing usually leads to other things, and touching a minor girl sexually at all... (breasts, genitals, inner leg, anything considered "sexual") 0r exposing yourself to them, or anything else sexual will land you right in jail.

I'd suggest finding someone your own age to date. A 13 year old is not capable of understanding romantic love anyway and having a really meaningful adult relationship. I'm not trying to be mean, but this could get you in trouble, and it's not smart, and I feel it's just gross.

I know I have to be careful. We are telling the parents everything and keeping no secrets. I'm not going to do anything like that to her because she is so young, even if she says she is ready. I know you think its wrong but that has nothing to do with this subject. I know this is a dangerous situation that's why I'm keeping it real safe and being cautious. I'm not even going to kiss her till she's at least 14. But what we want to know if it is illegal for us to kiss. We don't want to go through anymore of this confusion and being scared and worried. We've waited six months now and want to learn everything ahead of time before starting. You still didn't really show any proof on the kissing thing. Where did you find the information?

I think even if you were just kissing it'd be illegal and would be considered sexual contact with a minor from what I've read.

In New York I believe it is 15or 16 to be involved with basically an adult it is degrading for you to be in a relationship with a 13 year old you're probably looking at it only being 4 yrs older than her but when you reach 18 you need to stop matter of fact stop while your ahead and wait till she becomes a adult

It was hard enough waiting six months for us. I don't care if its degrading. What type of lawye3r should I use to find out this information. We want to know for sure.

A criminal defense lawyer I think would know most about the laws against child molestation and things like this, I'm guessing.

I can't get in contact with one. But I really doubt it would be illegal to kiss her

The reason this is important to me is I don't want to date just to date. I don't want to just go out with a girl I see one day that I think is hot. I've know her for a long time. All the memorys I have of her is important to me. I really care about her. But I don't want us to get in trouble for doing what we think is right. I'm NOT going to have sex or touch her anyway inappropriately. That's not why I'm attracted to her. I don't want her to get hurt

I asked her out about a week ago and so far we didn't hit any bumps
My parents don't like it still but I'm still happy

Well I don't really understand why you posted if you were just going to be so defensive. If you want to read the law for yourself why don't you Google it or something. You know that leagally its wrong to be with her and that INCLUDES KISSING. If the answers already posted here are not enough for you then I don't know what else to tell you

It is illegal for you 2 to date in the US for minors the dating age difference is 3 years. Sorry for that information. Good luck with everything though.

Umm I didn't see any of that when I looked and asked people

Forget the legalities...

Dude, what're you doing with a 13 year old?

You're 17. This means you're a sophomore/junior in high school. You're dating an 8th grader. At this point, she JUST hit her teens, and you're about to be a junior/senior in high school.

At this point, the maturity level of both of you are incompatible... and yeah, she could be "more mature than other girls her age" yadda... I've heard it all before. Trust me. She's at that age now when she's starting to wear makeup and talk about boys in the girl's bathroom... and you're at that age now when you should be thinking about college.. . see the difference?

If you REALLY like her, and she REALLY likes you, why not wait until you two are actually older?

There's a reason people on this forum are telling you to NOT do it.

Actually I'm a senior already and already know which college I'm going to
Bu you were close

Were being careful and don't do anything we wouldn't do in front of her parents
We make sure we tell them the truth and don't hide anything

That's not my point. My point is... you'll be graduating high school. Come September, when you're a freshmen in college, she will be a freshmen in high school. Do you really think you two will connect on a maturity level... emotional level..

umm I guess we will find out ^_^
we've been friends for a long time, over three years now
we are happy when we are together, we aren't going to do anything stupid
we don't care what other people think and know people think its weird
and most importantly we aren't nervous around each other and we are happy

I have a 13 year old daughter and even if it was legal I still would not allow it she is 13 a child does not know what she wants. You should try and find a girl your own age she is a child

If you don't care what other people think why post an ask for opinions? It seems the majority of us have the same answers. Its illegal point blank

By dating this girl you are denying her a childhood. How selfish is that? You are denying her a couple more carefree years to gossip about Jonny Depp, to make mistakes without anyone judging her, to hang out with her friends (if she is with you she is not with her peers), to concentrate on her schoolwork. You may think that won't happen but it will because at 13 you haven't learnt the control to properly balance full blown relationships with life.

You also don't have the strength of your own convictions and the protection form suggestibility that you develop later in life.

If you love her like you claim to you would wait. You obviously just don't love her enough.

So waiting hurts suck it up! There are loads of people who had to wait for their one true loves. Think of women left behind when their sweethearts went to war. They didn't even know they were goining to come back!

Make yourself busy and concentrate on your life.

You are at different stages of life.

Dating her is like you dating someone who will be asking you to move in with them and put a deposit on a mortgage or move to another state so that they can start a new job. Or start thinking about having a baby. Sound fun? You will require more emotionally than she is able to give.


I hope you make the right decision for both of your sakes.

Um her parents are allowing us to date and she does talk about celebritys with me and her best friend who is always with us
I see her about once or twice a week at church
She texts me a lot and I sometimes help her with her math homework

I originally started this because I didn't know if it was legal and me and her decided I wasn't worth going to jail for and we would wait if it was illegal
I wasn't asking for anyone's opinion(I don't mind getting any though) I was just looking for legal answers

Quote:

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Originally Posted by templelane

By dating this girl you are denying her a childhood. .

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Ok, I think you are all being a bit rough on this guy. If you have read my thought on this issue in other threads, you will see I'm not a fan of large differences in ages where a minor is involved. But I try to take each situation on its own merits.

I don't think he is denying her a childhood. Unfortunately our society does enough of that without any help. Kids are already thrust into more mature settings. So a 13 yr old girl dating, is not that out of line, especially if her parents agree to it.

I do question what a 17 yr old boy would have in common with a 13 yr old girl. But I think Lief appears to be sincere in his feelings. I also don't think he is a sexual predator. So I'm willing to cut him some slack. My suspicion is that after "dating" for a bit, they will both realize that they are at different stages of their lives and that a romantic relationship is not applicable. But, IN THIS CASE AND WITH HER PARENTS APPROVAL, I don't see the harm in their "dating".

And for those who don't understand the law, there are NO laws governing dating. The laws refer to sexual activity, not dating. Nowhere would it be illegal for two teens to date. Its not even illegal for a 30 yr old to DATE a 15 yr old. What they do on such a date would probably be illegal, and there are moral and ethical issues. But if the 30 yr old took the 15 yr old to dinner and a movie, no laws would be broken.