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I'm 15, and there's this girl who lives in my neighborhood and we are kind of friends and I really like her. I'm too nervous to ask her out, and I don't want to get rejected because I don't know if she likes me or not. Also, I don't know what my friends will think of me if I go out with her (no she's not ugly, she's pretty hot). If your going to respond, don't just say, "just go ask her out" actually try to give me some advice to help me.
Well if she is pretty hot, just forget it, she will alreaddy have a line of guys ahead of you.
No honestly, you will get turned down a 199 times most likely before you get out of high school. Sometimes the girl that turns you down at 15 is the one you take to the senior prom. Life is like that.
The main issue is that if you worry about what may happen, nothing will ever happen.
Yes, you will get turned down, if you don't, odds are at 15 you and this girl if you go out will break up, it happens, but if you don't ask anyone, you will find yourself taking your ugly cousin to the prom latter in life.
She probably doesn't since she's never had a boyfriend before and she's kind of shy. And since we are friends dontcha think that she would be more willing to go out with me?
I say go for it man, what do you have to lose here? Take a chance and tlak to her, hang out with her, or just make her smile. Good luck buddy, Im rooting for you!
Thanks for the advice, but didn't I say not to say something like "just go for it and ask her out"
Keep the advice coming please
Dude, that's what you need to hear. What else can we really say here? You sound like a good guy, just get some confidence in yourself and get to know her. Hang out with her or something buddy. Aske her to do somethig with you. Im not exactly clear on how well you know her, but if you want to nab her, you are going to have to find a way to get to know her better. Shy girls are tuff to get to know, but try and find something you guys have in common and just talk to her about that. Good luck man. Keep us posted.Quote:
Originally Posted by someguy222
What would you suggest? Like going to a movie with her or something? If I do that would it be better to go with a group of our friends or alone?
Again, that would all depend on how well you know her. If you are friends with her I would say a movie would be good, but if you don't really know her well that might be akward for you both. I would ask her to come out with you and your buddies, maybe tell her to bring a few of her friends with her, that way she will feel comforitable as well. You have the right idea bud, when you are getting to know a girl its all about comfort. Don't push it, but let her know you are interested. Just flirt with her a bit when you hang out, but don't smother. COMFORT, make her laugh, and make sure she has a good time. Just be cool man. :cool:
Never do a movie as a 'first date', or at least don't make it the only thing you do. How are you two supposed to get to know each other while focusing entirely on a screen instead of each other?Quote:
Originally Posted by someguy222
I'm shaky on the 'solo or group' thing. If it's a group thing, you might be making yourself out to be her 'friend' only, which is something you don't want to do. If you guys are semi-friends already, truly, a solo venture shouldn't be too hard for her to accept.
I don't know if now is a good time to ask her out, because she's on the varsity girls swim team, so she's busy every single day, including weekends. Should I wait until the end of the swim season or will that be too late?
Hi, welcome to the life of a typical teen. Since you are friends already, you should not fear rejection if you ask her to go to a movie with you that you both will like. I'd let her make the choice. Don't worry about how to act, because nobody your age has a 'perfect script' to go by, otherwise it would be printed and millions sold. You did not mention how you met, or what interests you have in common, that would help us, but you'll let us know, I'm sure, as you seem to be serious about this. I would not go together with others because this might put you in a spot to 'follow the leader' and if he does something stupid, it would mess things up. When in a group there is always a disturbance and you won't be able to concentrate on how she reacts to the different scenes in the movie, and that's one other good way to get to know her emotional make-up. I'd try a comedy and/or something loose like that for the start. Then after the show you can always recap how you thought about this or that joke, etc. It's a neutral way of having a 'coke' or something after the show. When you take her home, thank her for the fun time and tell her you'd like to do it again some time. A girl likes to hear she's fun to be with. Also compliments are not a bad idea.Quote:
Originally Posted by someguy222
If you are hesitant about asking her straight out, tell her there's this or that show playing somewhere soon and you were wondering if she'd be interested in joining you, that simple. If you visit each other's homes and know the parents, ask her in front of them, this shows you have nothing to hide, and they might even offer to take you there. Until I know more, that's about all I can suggest right now. Get back with us soon, and good luck.
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Some of her interests include (as far as I know): swimming, going shopping, hanging out, and watching TV (stuff like laguna beach, the OC, desperate housewives), ummm she does NOT do drugs, drink, cut herself, anything like that... lemme know if there's any specific details you want to know about her that would help...
I can give you a link to her myspace if you want but I think that might be a little to private to give out w/o her permission, but then that would defeat the whole purpose, and she would think I'm a loser.
Since you don't have a pic of her ill tell you what she looks lie: 5'7", skinny, long blonde hair, BEAUTIFUL blue eyes...
A somewhat casual thing to do and something that would really allow you to just 'hang out' would be to suggest she "go with and keep you amused" at the mall while you take care of a few things. From there, have a conversation, make her laugh, tease her a little bit, and just have a good time.
All of this stuff is really up to you, not us. There's only so much someone can tell you before you just have to get out there and do your thing.
You're right not to give out her MySpace.com account. Don't purposefully undermine her privacy, even if it is something around public domain.
That was fast, and very good. If she likes OC and Desperate Housewives, she'll like a good comedy too. Do you watch OC? Try it yourself sometime and see what I mean between the dark-haired couple. She will like fun guys for sure. Ask her who her favorite character is on that show. You don't need to get more specific for us, I know you are very interested in the young lady and know a lot about her - so you care and will do the right thing and be fun.;)Quote:
Originally Posted by someguy222
"that was fast" yea I got it off her myspace but I knew most of the stuff anyway.
If I were to ask her out tomorrow (tuesday) or on Wednesday would it be too early to invite her over for thanksgiving?
Yes. That gets into the territory of 'meeting the parents', which is something you do way on down the line when things are serious. Besides, she has her own Thanksgiving dinner to attend.Quote:
Originally Posted by someguy222
Well, I won't tell you "just go ask her out" since that's not what you want to hear. But there are two things I'd like you to consider: 1. Don't be afraid of rejection. Rejection is a part of life. If you haven't already, you'll learn very soon when you begin applying for jobs. Nobody gets offered every job they apply for but that doesn't keep anyone from working ; otherwise, we'd all starve to death. Years down the road when you try to sell your first home, keep track of how many prospective buyers come through your house before you finally get an offer. There's tons of literature out there for training ourselves how to say "no" but very little support on learning how to take "no" for an answer. This skill is just as important as the former. 2. Don't worry about what other people are going to think. You need to do what's best for you and what's going to make you happy. Just think about it ; where would we be if Christopher Columbus, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln , Louis Pastuer , Thomas Edison, the Wright Brothers and a whole host of great people worried about what other people thought? We'd still be living in caves! Now, you say you're "kind of friends" with this girl. Rather than pressure yourself into worrying about whetehr or not you should ask her out, why not build on the friendship that you already have? You can hang out and have fun without worrying about "going out." If you do this, then in time the question of whether you should ask her out and any reservations that may go along with it will resolve themselves.
It sounds to me like your halfway there.DO you have her phone number if not asking for it .It signals interest beyond the public.It may be easier to ask about mostly anything without getting caught up in those bueatiful eyes.Be yourself leave that phony suave player rap on the shelf just be nice.asking for a phone number will also either encourage you or give her a chance for a gentle no.If you already have it then go for a lot of conversation cause that's what she's waiting to hear how you present yourself to her.Relax and go for it.Go slow but steady and pay attention,what's not said is just as importantant as the spoken word. Go you lucky dog Im jealous cause I can't go back to 15 when life was fun ans easy.. gotta go here comes my wife! :o :cool:
I don't have her phone number or cell number. If I ask her for it do you think that she will know I'm interested or will it just turn into an awkward moment where she doesn't know what to do? If it's the latter, then what strategies would you use to make it more obvious to her that I'm interested before I ask her?
Also, she's been ignoring my IMs the past couple days. I haven't come clean and told her I like her yet, so wats up with her? And I know that she is there because when I IM her it says on the bottom *her screen name* is typing... and then it would just stop.
You just have to try it and see what happens.Stop worrying so much,all she can say is NO. then you'll know to try elsewhere.hint;most women like self-confident men. Good luck. :cool:
First, you CANNOT make the anology of getting rejected for a job, then getting rejected by a girl/guy. A business is rejecting you as a worker, however that girl/guy is rejecting you as love interest, which I consider a little more personal. All of the advice giving here though is great, and it should help you, however when people say it's only rejection they are right, it's just still hard to get over. It seems when you are asking a romantic interest to do something with you, there is this GIGANTIC SUPERSIZED GARGANTUAN WALL just staring you in the face, and you figure why do it if I am most likely going to fall. However that wall is a blessing if you think about how much you will beat yourself up over this if you DON'T ask her. I have a myspace and I have done this before, so I am just going to tell you what I have done. Barely anybody get's letters on myspace, so just send her an invite to a movie, if you don't want to say it's because you like her, just say that your friends are busy one night and that is the night you are free and you would enjoy her company, don't say something around the idea of jumping her bones or else she will notify everyone that you are a creep. Anyway, remember that she isn't better than you, she has the same feelings you do about being rejected, and try to turn down the frequency of the im's, one is good, one every few days, something like hey, how is your day. Well, back to my point just email it to her, that way you save rejection right in front of you. And, when you get on the date, I am saying when because I am confident in you, just be yourself, treat her like a friend, not a guy friend and try and 'sac' tap her, lord knows what would happen next, but just act confident and calm and if you screw up or spill ketchup, butter, or any other condiment that might want to ruin your night, just make a joke of it and move on. And if it is only one date, you can at least become friends, and she might help hook u up with another interest of yours.
^^^^^^This kid is good... ^^^^^^^
Wizzkid thanks a lot
It is only if you take it personally, which is the worst thing one can do. Frankly, I'd take getting rejected as a worker more personally than I would getting rejected as a love interest. After all, rejecting me as a worker seems to suggest that I'm somehow not competent to reasonably and professionally execute the duties pertinent to the job at hand, assuming of course that I'm reasonably qualified for the job to begin with. Obviously I wouldn't apply for a job as a brain surgeon and would expect to get rejected for such a job since I'm not qualified for that type of work. However, if I applied for a job as an insurance salesman and got rejected, I could potentially take that very personally if I were so inclined. Of course, the idea of taking even a job rejection personally is facetious in that there are typically many more applicants than there are positions available. However, getting rejected as a love interest speaks nothing at all about my competence but is based solely on the whims of the potential love interest which is certainly nothing to take personally. If anything, the person rejecting the potential love interest is the one who potentially has issues, depending on the reasons for such rejection.Quote:
Originally Posted by wizzkid89
Just plain ask her for her number, and if she says 'no', then you've received your first rejection, so what! This, as stated before, will happen more than we all would like to admitt, however it's part of life and what makes us strong. At least that way you can look forward to meeting other young ladies who might just say 'yes' and knock your socks off. You can't expect a positive reaction all the time, and the sooner you learn and get harder skin, the better you will develop. Wishing you lots of Luck, and keep us posted.Quote:
Originally Posted by someguy222
Happy Thanksgiving, with or without her...
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/8/8_5_14.gif
Happy thanksgiving to everyone!
She's out of town until the weekend so... yea. Can't really do much.
Anything else that would be important/helpful to do/say?
Dude why does it matter what your friends think? When I was 15 I was not as cute as I am now :p but there was this guy who liked me anyway but I was his dirty little secret all because he cared more about what everyone else thought. Meditate on it a little bit then take a deep breath and ask the hot girl out. You are the man with a plan.
I agree with crankie - when you like someone it should not matter what other people think. You should be proud and able to hold your head up high. If you get rejected; you get over it and move on. (there are plenty more girls) If she accepts - bonus.
Either way forget the others concentrate on yourself - it's what you think & feel that counts.
When you see her and get the chance to talk to her, tell her about the compliments you are thinking about. Be upfront, even if she rejects you at first, she and all girls, will remember you as a kind and caring young man, and get fonder of you for it. Believe me, it's better than 'following the wrong crowd' and doing the 'in' thing being worried about what others say. They after all are not the ones who will benefit from it , you will. The only thing you will have to loose here is not getting to know some nice girls if you keep in the background, so take that first step, we all have to do it. One out of five might reject you, but that will not kill you, honest! So, go for it.Quote:
Originally Posted by someguy222
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/16/16_14_47.gifBuy her a nice box of stationary to write letters, and on the first letter, (even if you do it anonymously) compliment her, and put it on her porch. Later if you see her and she's smiling about something, ask her if she liked the little gesture of yours. Use your imagination! Again, good luck.
What kind of stuff would you recommend putting and NOT putting in the letter (so I don't get too personal or don't get the point across too dumb-sounding, or not at all)
Hmm I don't know how to put it without sounding too dorky. Just get her a stationary with a pretty flower or butterfly and tell her that it reminds you of her beautiful face. Don't tell her she's phat or her feet smell like mint or the sight of her makes you sick even if its in a good way.
If you get her the box of stationary, on the first page, I'd write something like:Quote:
Originally Posted by someguy222
Thought you might like this stationary. It made me think of you when I saw it... The color reminds me of the dress, or shirt you had on one day that looked real good on you, it makes your (hair or eyes) shine, etc. Something short and sweet, like that. You could also ask your mom for advice, she's probably got some good hints to give you. Good Luck.;)
Would it be better to put it in an email so that a potential finding by her parents would be easier to avoid, because that's always awkward...
Now see if you had sent something like that to one of my daughters(lets just pretend they aren't 5 and 6 yrs old) then id say well isn't he a nice young man. Get in good with the parents. Some parents monitor their children's email because of the dangerous people out there. I know I would.
So just like put it in her mail box? Or on her porch or something..
?
Yes yes exactly !
Are you saying that you want her parents to see it first and then give it to her, or have her get it, and somehow her parents see it? Since most of you are parents, what would you want to read in a note from a guy when your daughter has never had a boyfriend before?
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