Well I'm 17 and I was wondering what should my age cut off limit be
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Well I'm 17 and I was wondering what should my age cut off limit be
Cut-off for what? Babysitting? Parachute jumping? Getting a master's degree?
You are a teen until you turn 20 if that's your question.
My question is
How old should the oldest guy be for me to date
I'm not sure if that makes any sense
Do you have someone in mind, or are you hanging out with an older crowd? Once you're 18, there's no age limit. Study hard, get your high school diploma, and think about a career. You will be 18 before you know it.
Yea I know that
But older guys understand me more
At 17, its pretty much open. You are on the cusp of adulthood. The bigger issue is how old are the guys that want to date you? I would probably stick to 20 something's as being those with more in common with you.
28
I say at the most 3years older, until you turn 18, you can date who ever you want.
Good Luck :)
Alive and upright, after you reach the age of majority. Anyone could have plenty to offer.
28? You say older guys understand you better? He understands what it takes to get in your pants.Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss lovley
He is too old and he knows it. In fact, right now he could go to jail. Get your education and date someone closer to your own age.
Two to three years older seems to work best from general observation, that's what I set myself at your age. Now I'm a bit older I'd go 5 or 6 tops and when I'm older still I'd probably consider larger age gaps.
You don't really want to date a person who is doing stuff you can't really identify with like graduating from uni, getting a mortgage, getting divorced, planning their retirement...
I think it generally it is best to stick to people at the same stage of life as yourself, less conflict of interests, less problems in general. At your age you don't really want a relationship that is an uphill battle. I mean problems with someone just a bit older are them moving, parents disagreeing, not being able to go places they can etc. Better off avoided if you can.
In conclusion to my ramblings I definitely think two to three years are best.
Best of luck to you
Yes older guys do understand me better and are not just interested in sex. I do not beileve he could go to jail because we are not having sex and or dateing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
Guys my age are SHALLOW and IMMATURE
Not all of them, you find the nice ones at this age you've got a good 'un for life. I've met many 17 year old boys I have got on with at an intellectual level and have been funny and sophisticated. (I have a younger brother and made friends with his friends) Yeah sometimes they'd tell an immature joke but who doesn't? You’re a bit po faced if you can't appreciate a rubbish joke/ jumping around like an idiot/ dressing like an explosion in the joke shop.Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss lovley
They are not all shallow either, insecure and hiding it maybe, but not shallow. You sound like a four year old going, 'urgh I hate boys they're icky!'
Anyway you could go out with someone a tad older who would be settling down an bit and seem more sophisticated without them being 28. Although I'd have to say young men aren't that much different to lads really, I'd say the level of stupidness tends to increase as they learn how to get away with it (sorry guys)
At 28 the main thing he's going to have over an 18 year old is smooth talking experience, and being able to dazzle you with a flat, car and money. If he doesn't have the last three things it's even worse because then I know exactly why he couldn't get a girl his age!
I know a lot of friends who dated 30 ish men when they were your age. It didn't end well, and now they are under no illusion that they were used good and proper. Perhaps it's time to learn by other's mistakes so other's don't learn from yours.
Pardon me but that sounds like a statemnet a SHALLOW and IMMATURE girl would make trying to justify wanting to date a 28 year old man.Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss lovley
You need to be questiong the motives of a 28 year old who goes after a 17 year old. Girl that man is too old for you. You are a minor and he messing with you, you could not even go to a bar with him.
10 years is a huge difference, especially when you're 17 years old. My opinion, you need to leave adult men alone until you are one yourself.
I'm 28 and I look at a 17 year old as a CHILD. My cousin is 17 and I could never find myself being interested in any of her friends. That I disgusting. I have to seriously question what this 28 year old is thinking. While you may believe that he understands you more its really that he understands how to play you better then a 17 year old. Do not get confused the only interest a 28 year old could have in a 17 year old is sex PERIOD. End of story that's it. You are completely mentally, emotionally, life-wise incompatible.
Now if you were 27 and he was 38 that's different. But right now you have NO life experience regardless of what you may believe about yourself. A healthy adult relationship is built on both people bringing an equal amount of stuff to the table. Right now you don't have much.
Have you met everyone in this guys life? Friends, co-workers, family? What do your parents think?
If you're 17, don't date anyone older that 19 TOPS. I'm 28 and even the thought of dating someone your age freaks me out. My brother is 27 and he would never date someone under age 21, let alone someone in High School.
Try and look at it this way. If YOU see guys your age as immature... why doesn't this 28 year old see people your age as immature? If you think 17 yr olds are immature now, how do you think you'll feel when YOU'RE 28?
Believe me when I say, if a 28 yr old man is showing interest in someone your age, HE'S immature.
Atcually I am going after him not the other way aroundQuote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
If he's smart, he'll run in the opposite direction.
STOP.Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss lovley
If this man has any sense he will stay far, far away.
If there is no one your age to date then look no higher then 18. If you can't find anyone else then wait until you go to college where there will lots of new people and plenty of mature guys.
Then you need to chill, because you are not only asking for trouble, you are placing that man in a potentially criminal and ugly situation. But if he is a decent guy, he will tell you to go home and grow up.Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss lovley
I'm not trying to have sex with him so there is no criminal situation
Regardless of whether sex is involved you have no business chasing a grown man. You are a child. I know you don't see yourself that way but that is how a 28 year old should view a 17 year old. It doesn't mean that you aren't mature or intelligent or interesting it just means that you are young. I enjoy my 17 year old cousins company I think her friends are great kids but they are just that KIDS.
Any 28 year old who would pursue a relationship with a 17 year old is either looking at you JUST for sex, is an incredible loser who is incapable of getting a woman his own age, mentally & emotionally stunted. Does this sound like someone you would want to date?
My cousin at the age of 16 years old was dating a guy who was 25. At first i hated him because he was older. Then we got to know him better and well here they are 5 years later getting married & living life. So does age matter no. If it is the wrong crowd then i would say yes.
So just make your decision wisely thats all. Good luck.
Then.. what exactly do you want from this guy?Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss lovley
If you find it hard to relate to guys your age, what do you think you have to offer to older ones?
Some girls think that if they 'skip' over their age group they will 'skip' over the experiences of dating and breaking up - in a way overstepping what they feel is a pain that is not worth it. But what they don't understand is that we all have to go through the learning process of meeting, dating, falling in love, breaking up, etc. It is all an important part of our emotional growth and development.
If you think you can 'skip' over this... then you might wind up in a life of always trying to be what you think 'they' want you to be and will forget your own personal growth and goals in life.
Don't do this to yourself. Taking shortcuts does not always mean you'll get to any given destination safely.
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_22_19.gifEnjoy being young.. you are only there once.
For every success story about such an age gap, there are usually 10 times as many horror stories about adults exploiting children. Yes age DOES matter when there is an adult and a minor involved. Anyone who thinks differently is being irresponsible.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hello Out There
The vast majority of 25 yr olds would look on a 16 yr old as a kid. Which means the only real attraction between them would be physical and that would be sick.
Well Scottgem I am sticking to my answer. So you can act like its sick or gross but if you know the person what's so wrong with it? Obviously she hangs around older men... like I said "So does age matter no. If it is the wrong crowd then i would say yes." So its based how the person has treated her in the past. Nothing was ever done wrong to her, why not. Whatever seems right to you go for it. Its not like your marrying him yet. Lol. If something's start changing with him then back away, it could get bad.
The problem with your answer is that you are encouraging a child in a situation where there is a strong possibility that they may be exploited. And that is VERY wrong.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hello Out There
There is something very wrong with a 25 year old guy messing with a 16 year old girl. No adult in their right mind or with right motives does such a thing. I don't care how nice you think he is. That is criminal. He has taken advantage of a teenager.
Miss Lovley has not responded much but...
Then she says that he is not chasing.. SHE is.Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss lovley
MY QUESTION WAS NOT ANSWERED YET..
What exactly do you want from this guy?
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I'm not taking any shortcuts nor am I trying to I want to date an older guyQuote:
Originally Posted by Chery
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chery
I want a relationship.
Someone I can talk to about whatever
Someone I can go out with and have fun
Someone to be there for me
I WANT a man not a little boy
That sounds fair.
But.. what you want and what they want might be two different things.
I guess you are not aware that men that old get in trouble or are actually looking for trouble when accepting advances from girls your age.
So please be careful in your effort to get your Mr. Perfect.
I can only caution you and wish you the best and hope that you don't have to give up more than you want to get there.
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I accept that but any guy that ever treats me wrong witll have to deal with my family and trust me my family is not one to mess with.
What do they think about your pursuit of this older guy?
Do you have a good relationship with your father? I ask that because that is what a lot of young girls are looking for when they get with older men, a father figure. They just don't realize it.
A guy that age who befriends a 17 year old has either a screw loose, or that is what he wants. Mature decent men don't mess with teenagers.
No and they are not going to knowQuote:
Originally Posted by GlindaofOz
My father is a dead beat and no I am not looking to replace himQuote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
And my male friend does not have screws loose thank you very much
Why? Is there something you are ashamed of? If you are keeping this relationship a secret from your family, doesn't that tell you something? Sure screams out to me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss lovley
Sorry, but a 28 year old having a relationship with a 17 yr old DOES have a few screws that need tightening. Too bad you don't recognize it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss lovley
OK, this is what you came to us for in this thread.Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss lovley
Then we asked you if he was chasing you, you said You were chasing him.
Throughout this you insisted that you wanted a Man and not a Boy..
We told you of the possible consequences and asked if your parents were aware..
You don't want your family to know your intentions, but you are certain that if you get hurt by anyone, they will beat the crap out of whomever..
Now.. you want FUN, someone to talk with, go places with...
You did not state what kind of FUN.. and fun to a grown man includes SEX, like it or not.. that's just FACT.
You did not state what you wanted to 'converse' about.. school? economics, history, art, etc.
You did not state what places you wanted to go to with him.. where do you want to go that you cannot go by yourself or with friends?.
I think you have a canvas in front of you and don't know with which color you want to paint with. We all have to start with an idea, and I think yours' is a fantasy that will only lead you on a very dangerous journey.
You are looking for something, but, in my opinion.. you are looking in the wrong place.
Boys are not the only ones with one-track minds.
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