Ask Me Help Desk - Should I do it or wait?

Should I do it or wait?

OK, there is this girl from church, and we just recently started talking and stuff, not privatley but with her sister and cousins and stuff. She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life and I absolutely adore her. OK she doesn't know that part, yet. See we've only been talking for like 2 days now, yeah like , but when we talk she looks right in my eyes and her eyes are so mmmm, I can't even describe it. The other day she heard me singing to myself and she wanted me to sing for her, but I said I would do it another time. So here's is my plan, Tuesday, or Thursday, or Friday, I was going to grab her and tell her I was going to sing the song I owed her, but by ourselves. The song I was going to sing is a love song, like love at first sight and that kind of thing, its in spanish. But I just realized I just barely started talking with her and I don't want to ruin our friendship. PLUS her cousin who is 12 likes me and its kind of weird that she's so young, but the girl I like is turning 13 in a month. I'm 15. This is very confusing I know. But the girl I like, you would never guess she is 13, I mean she looks 15 really. OK so what I basically asking is should I wait longer to ask her out? And what should I do about her cousin? I don't want to mess anything up you know.

She is 13? I would think that is too young to be going out with a boy anyway. You're 15, leave those 12/13 year old girls alone.

Barely 15... I was thinking about the age, but if I walked around the high school with her no one would know she's 13, they would be like who's the new girl? Does that count for anything? I mean, she rocks it like that.

I don't care if she looks 20. She is too young for you. She is not old enough to be dating and you know it. Leave the girl alone.

Thanks anyway

Age is only a number age is not an issue. If you have feelings for this girl don't throw them away
Although id wait a little longer just talk more get to know each other first
And when you know she feels the same sing her that song you owe her .
Good luck

I don't think that you should ask her out like on a date. But I don't see anything wrong with you having a party and having a few kids over and include her is the list. Have your parents be there to chaperone the party, keep every thing on the friend level.
You might also ask your mother if someday she will drive you and th girl to the movies if she will go with you. If she says yes then discuss it with her and her family to see if it is OK.
Dating at your and her age is not the thing to be doing.
OH and about her cousin, invite her to your party also, she will soon learn that it is not her that you are interested in.

Quote:

Originally Posted by letmetellu

I don't think that you should ask her out like on a date. But I don't see anything wrong with you having a party and having a few kids over and include her is the list. Have your parents be there to chaperone the party, keep every thing on the friend level.
You might also ask your mother if someday she will drive you and th girl to the movies if she will go with you. If she says yes then discuss it with her and her family to see if it is OK.
Dating at your and her age is not the thing to be doing.
OH and about her cousin, invite her to your party also, she will soon learn that it is not her that you are interested in.

Agrees- that is a good idea a supervised party sounds good

She is to little to be dating I agree with these guys stay on da friends level get to know each other a lot more. I wouldn't care if you were 25 and she was 18 or if you were 19 and she was 17. Its just that she is barely a teenager man and you are in da middle of teenagercy. You should give her a couple years that's too yung.

She is 13 not 12 its only 2 years difference!!
Hell my ex is 18 and dating a 33 year old that 15 years difference what do you make of that!!
Two years is nothing compared to that. If you really like someone age does not matter

Just be friends with her. Don't go singing any love songs or anything like that. Just talk to her and have fun like kids do. Im now 24 and when I was 13 kids strted asking other kids out and stuff like that. It wasn't serious but its just what kids do. Its part of growing up. In your instance though I wouldn't pursue her too hard.

If you two continue to get along and have fun when your together perhaps you can ask your parents if she can come around one day, along with other friends and you guys can all hang out together. Pretty much what letmetellu suggested.

Age does matter when the kid is 12 You should say age gap does not matter. Dating when 12 give me a break!!

Are you talking to me Mackenzie? I didn't say age doesn't matter.

She is not quite 13 and she is too young to be dating anyway. He is 15. She is too young for him.

Don't 13 year olds have to have the consent of the parents to date?? For that matter don't 15 year olds?? Legal or not, no 15 year old boy comes sniffing around my 12/13 year old daughter. Friends are fine, caparoned parties are okay, dating?? No!

Jon, what do you want to do with her while you guys are dating?

Haha you guys, I did mention the word church right, I'm not going to rape her or something, and I'm not after for like sex or something that's totally messed up. On paper this seems really bad, but in reality it's a different story. I'm pretty sure she's gone out with 15 year olds before, because she is way to mature for her age I mean wayy to mature. Oh she's 13 in three days. I'm sure if you knew me and her personally you'd be like yeah go for it. Which is the feedback I'm getting from my friends(from church). I mean I know what I'm doing, I think she's knows what's she's doing more then I do. Oh and before I was going to ask her ou I was going to ask her do you think your to young or I'm to old for us to happen. Which is a dum question because I know the answer. Thanks anyway guys for discussing this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarah1989

she is 13 not 12 its only 2 years difference!!!
Hell my ex is 18 and dating a 33 year old that 15 years difference what do you make of that !!!
two years is nothing compared to that. if you really like someone age does not matter

Hers a qoute 18 yr old being with a 33 yr old it doesn't matter they adults a 13 yr old and a 15 yr old I wouldn't touch that ill be to scared to lol

JonLR, You've told us what your friends say, what do her parents say? Will she have to sneak around, and lie to her parents to be with you? I know you sound like such a good guy, but as a father I would be very reluctant to have my 12/13 tear old being around you, as honorable as you seem, so do you talk to the parents about this? Just curious. What if they object, as I do?

I talk to her parents almost every day. Her parents love the heck out of me. Everyone does, I'm the drummer at the church, I talk to everyone, I know everyone and vice-versa. Heck some people go to me and say "hey jonathan!" and I don't even know their names. Plus being the pastors grandson= automatic respect. So if anything her parents would be happy because she'd be going out with me rather then some smuck from school that doesn't go to church and he does whatever he wants, not saying everyone is like that but you know. Honestly I didn't expect all this, the age, parents, I just wanted to know if should wait to ask her out, or just do it next chance I get.

While pardon my saying so but being in church does not mean much to me when you're talking about teens and hormones. I'm a Christian, but we're talking about teenagers. I still say she is too young to date and I can't imagine a Christian couple allowing their 12/13year old to date.
But I suppose you will do what you want.

I think 12/13 is to young for an unchaparoned date. The wife allowed it at 16, and we had to meet him first. Jon please let us know how you feel when your 12/13 year old wants to date an older teen ager. I think that it would be wise to wait until she is older, but a plutonic friendship is okay. You sound great on paper, but sorry the welfare of my daughter, will always come first.

I'm feeling where you guys are coming from, I get it, I think she has a boyfriend right now, I'm not sure, I got to ask. But I guess I could wait till next year when she comes up to the high school. It would be easier, but then again a year is a year. I don't know, I got to talk to her though, I mean if she likes me to I'm not going to miss out on the chance. It all depends. Thanks guys.

If she likes you and doesn't have a boy friend go for it.
If you wait and she has these feelings for you as well you could loose her within that year
Just my advise I know everyone here is going to disagree with me but you get that.
Good luck :)

Yeah I know, I just got to ask her straight up. Thanks though at least someone is helping me out, not saying everyone else is wrong but not very helpful.

I honestly am not trying to help you at all, but since your so honorable, a church guy and all, I did notice that you haven't talked to her, or ever aproached her parents about dating their 12/13 daughter. I will tell you this though, for your own good, suck it up. And date those your own age. Letting this young female grow on her own, is a great gift to give her out of love. If you really care.

Hmm you may be right, and I have talked to her FTR, but I guess ill do what's best for her, whatever that is.

(BIG STORY COMING UP)
Yeahhhh since this I continued to talk to her we became good friends. We chatted on myspace and stuff, talked on the phone for hours and such. She then told me how she felt about me on like the 10th of last month(october) we talked some more until the 24th when I asked her out. She said yes. I was happier then ever. But, while we were going out, people started finding out. People from church. The pastor(my grandpa) then proceeded to talk about young people in relationships, that those relationships aren't from God and all these things. A few days after that, her mom and her came to my house to talk to my parents. She had told her parents about us and so had I. it was fine until that day the pastor talked about it and her mom got worried about her reputation and her daughters at church. People were saying that sabdy(girlfirend) was only at church to look for guys. Which is farther from the truth then anything. So her mom and my parent talked about us while we just listened. Her mom and my parents then said that they want us only to be friends and to wait a few years if we want to go out. We agreed. But, we are still going out. See, we did agree to wait 2 years, me and sabdy did with each other. Just to make sure we don't get in any trouble or anything. But we still do what we did before we were told to stay friends, kiss and hold hands and whatnot. My uncle was pissed at me when he found out we were even going out, he thinks that she's a girl that would just find any boy and go out with him. No one knows her like I do. We have become the talk of the church(not good). I'm not going to leave her, she's not going to leave me, but its hard to just stay friends after all we've done already. We agreed to wait but we aren't exactly waiting. What can I do? How can I tell her no more kissing or holding hands? I don't want to stop but I know its what's right. I should have listened to most of you that said to back off for a while, but now that I know she likes me I don't want to lose her. What should I do?

You tell her that you want to do right by her, so you think you two need to stop the physical stuff and stick to friends. You were too old for her to begin with.

Santoooooooo. Not that easy. I'm not too old for her, I don't think. Do you really think so?

Yes I do. If I recall she was 12 and you were 15. A 12 year old girl is not old enough to date and you should have left her alone. She is now 13 I assume, and still not old enough to date. Give her a couple of years.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonLR92

santoooooooo. not that easy. im not too old for her, i dont think. do you really think so?

Why is it not that easy? You do what is right and stop the physical stuff with her. Stop what you should not have been doing anyway.
Young people think they are old and mature enough to start mess but then don't want to do the "mature" thing and do what is right. You're a Christian young man, you pray and ask God for the strength to leave this girl alone for a few more years. and ask Him to forgive you for messing with her in the first place.

OK in my opinion I;m only 14 so yea I would try it but a love song may be coming a bit strong (trust me I know lol) and so mayb just a song with hints in it to give her so she mite get it and the 12 yr old, puppy love most likely because she mite know you like her cousin and she just wants your attention, so yea go with your plan, your not to young :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Why is it not that easy? You do what is right and stop the physical stuff with her. Stop what you should not have been doing anyway.
Young people think they are old and mature enough to start mess but then don't want to do the "mature" thing and do what is right. You're a Christian young man, you pray and ask God for the strength to leave this girl alone for a few more years., and ask Him to forgive you for messing with her in the first place.

I know I should do what's right. Im leaving it up to her what's we should do. She doesn't want to wait years. She said she will, but what were doing isn't exactly waiting. Im just worried that if I tell her no more nothing just friendship for now, then she'll just forget about me after a while. She's young but she knows how to get me stuck on her, like I have her stuck on me. But yeah I'm just worried about her. Ive wanted to hear her say I love you so bad that now going back to friends would be like suicide to me. I am going to pray about this though, I know I'm wrong in this. I should be the older one and tell her we got to stop but I don't want to hurt her or the relationship we have or could have. =( this is wack. After finally having her, I can't have her. Santo. Thank you homegirl. You've been just like my friend who has been telling me the same thing. I just need to hear it from different people to get it through my head.

You be the older one as you are. Don't leave it up to her. She is a 13 year old child. She probably totally flattered by you. You started this and it's up to you to put it right. If you lose her, that maybe the right thing for now. Then when she is a little older, if you both are feeling the same way you may meet up again.
Do what is right young man, you can never go wrong.
I wish you well.

If my answer was a good one, please rate it. Thank you.

Hi my name is anjali I am from india actually I don't know what is my problem .I hate from this world.ihate from my parents,even I hate 4om myself.I don't want to live,but still I am only for my parents.I have no interest in anything.actually I have lost my interest in all.I know this information is not sufficient but I have no word to show my feelings . Help me

Quote:

Originally Posted by singhanjali

hi my name is anjali i am from india actually i don't know what is my problem .i hate from this world.ihate from my parents,even i hate 4om myself.i don't want to live,but still i am only for my parents.i have no interest in anything.actually i have lost my interest in all.i know this information is not sufficient but i have no word to show my feelings . help me

You must ask your question on your own thread.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonLR92

ok, there is this girl from church, and we just recently started talkin and stuff, not privatley but with her sister and cousins and stuff. shes the most beautiful girl ive ever seen in my life and i absolutely adore her. ok she doesnt know that part, yet. see weve only been talking for like 2 days now, yeah like , but when we talk she looks right in my eyes and her eyes are so mmmm, i can't even describe it. the other day she heard me singing to myself and she wanted me to sing for her, but i said i would do it another time. so heres is my plan, tuesday, or thursday, or friday, i was gonna grab her and tell her i was gonna sing the song i owed her, but by ourselves. the song i was gonna sing is a love song, like love at first sight and that kind of thing, its in spanish. but i just realized i just barely started talkin with her and i dont want to ruin our friendship. PLUS her cousin who is 12 likes me and its kinda weird that shes so young, but the girl i like is turning 13 in a month. im 15. this is very confusing i know. but the girl i like, you would never guess she is 13, i mean she looks 15 really. ok so what i basically asking is should i wait longer to ask her out? and what should i do about her cousin? i dont want to mess anything up you know.

I think that if you like her then you should ask her out. There is no age for love. I mean you can be 15 and like a 20 year old.

wow I totally forgot about this site. Just got an email from this. Its been so long since this and so much stuff has happened between us. Ok let me just say are current status, relationship wise is, that we are on hold for each other for about another year or so. And we talk basically only on aim and church because my mom called her mom to tell her to never call me again because my mom felt we talked on the phone too much. Yeah. So yeah were in love and were getting married and kids and blah blah blah. Thank you. Bye. =D

This is cooolll. Looking back on this is awesome. Haha I was such a noob. Yea so um she's going to be 14 soon, and we have been going out for about 11 months now. And our relationship has matured in many ways. We became very spiritual and now look for God more and ask him to guide our relationship. Me and her are doing really well, and I'm basically sure that this is the best thing for me and her. Were going to be in a wedding and I'm pretty sure she's going to be my girl in it. Everyone knows about us, some people are really happy and some people are surprised. Most of my family don't approve because she's mexican and I'm puerto rican. Which isn't a very good mix, but I don't care. All I know is that we made a few mistakes but we have come back strong from them. This is something that a lot of people probably dream of. We are definitely the perfect couple.