I think that age is nothing but a number. But I don't get the reason why people think that if your 6 years younger is such a bad thing. If you love that person, is right. What Do you think?:confused:
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I think that age is nothing but a number. But I don't get the reason why people think that if your 6 years younger is such a bad thing. If you love that person, is right. What Do you think?:confused:
Where do you live?
There are no laws against dating having there are laws against sexual contact between a 14 year old and a 19 year old. Also the mental differences between the two are immense and I cannot imagine a 19 year old has any interest in a 14 year old that is not sexual.
You want to know what I think? Since we already had this discussion very recently I suggest you read that thread.
But what I think is that a 19 year old is at a very different social and maturity level than a 14 year old. I don't think a 19 year old can really be in love with a 14 year old. I defintiely don't think a 14 yr old is mature enough to be truly in love with anyone let alone a 19 year old.
I agree with you that age is just a number and that 6 years shouldn't matter and it doesn't with older people. There is nothing wrong with 26 and 20 or 36 and 30. But a 19 yr old is considered an adult and a 14 yr old is still a child. And there is something very wrong with an adult infatuated with a child. I can't imagine what attraction a 14 yr old would hold for a 19 yor old other than physical. And if there is physical contact, then its illegal.
If there is truly love between these two, then it can wait a few more years. At 16 and 21, the maturity gap is lessed. At 18 and 23, they are both adults and can make their own decisions.
I'm new so my advice may not count as much but... HELL NO! Age isn't so obvious when your 50 and she's 42, but 14 and 19 is not socially acceptable. At 19 your pretty much an adult, at 14 u are just barely a teenager, parents, friends and the like would never condone it. SORRY, I know its not what u may have wanted to hear:(Quote:
Originally Posted by Jay15forever
What do your parents say about it
Quote:
Originally Posted by xxmissconfusedxx
That is NOT what I was saying. I do not agree with that sort of dating at all. Do not lump me into that sort of thought. I think NO. I think her parents would have that 19 year old thrown into jail.
6 years is nothing if your in your 30's or 40's. But at 14 you have a lot of growing up to do. You may think you are mature and ready to "date" but you are not. You are just starting high school, and a 19 year old is in college. A 19 yr old shouldn't even want to date a 14 yr old. It's not just about a number it's about life experience and a 19yr old has a lot more and will expect more. A 12 yr old and a 6yr old are going to be very different,one is going to play with dolls and want their mommy and the 12 yr old is going to want to talk on the phone and be with their friends not with a 6 yr old, just like a 14 and 19 yr old are not alike and should not want to be with each other.
Quote:
Originally Posted by GlindaofOz
Ohh sorry I didn't mean that I forgot my period
That's part of the problem here. When a 19 yr old and a 14 yr old hook up the female often finds herself missing her period. <eg>Quote:
Originally Posted by xxmissconfusedxx
Yea that is true. If he even thinks about having sex with her or vise versa the 19yr old needs to be put in jail because that is disgusting...
How do y'all feel about a 16yr old girl and a 25yr old man?
That is even more disgusting. Where would a 25 year old even meet a 16 year old. After the fact that there coupling is potentially illegal as well what would they even have in common. I'm 28 and I think 18 year olds are babies. My cousin is 17 and she is a baby.Quote:
Originally Posted by xxmissconfusedxx
And the 19 year old gets titled a sex offender for the rest of his life. Can't go to school functions when he has children and wants to go see a program... Can't go to his children's graduation. The list is too long.Quote:
Originally Posted by ScottGem
25 and 16 is no more acceptable than 14-19. ACTUALLY, it may be worse, any 25 year old who thinks it is appropriate to date a 16 year old is obviously sick in the head, its perverse if u ask me.
ANY situation where an adult is attempting a romantic relationship with a minor is a potential powderkeg. The minor may be left with an unwanted pregnancy and/or the adult with a sex offender tag.
I'll reiterate that if the attraction is strong enough, it can stand to put it on hold and wait until both are adults and then revisit it.
Yea I see where you all are coming from. But also the way I see it is you can't fight love if it happens go with the flow this 14 yr old may be in love with the 19yr old. Yes it can wait but who wants to wait?
I am 6.5 years younger than my husband. The difference is, 28 and 35 are much closer in maturity than 14 and 19. When we started dating I was 20, he just turned 27 and there was a big difference to over come. Even then, we had differences of opinion, life style, friends, priorities, etc. That's speaking as ADULTS.
14 and 19 are preparing for disaster.
The 14 yr old should not be hanging around 19 yr olds. Feelings spark and stuff happens but the 19 yr old should know better not to sleep with the child
He would want it to wait if he has any morals. He would want it to wait if it meant not going to jail. He would want it to wait if he doesn't want to knock her up. She would want to wait if she is not ready to be a mother.
Do you need more reasons or is that enough?
If you were put in this situation and you had strong feelings for a 19yr old would you wait? And who is saying the 14yr old is a girl. Lets say the child is a guy
It wouldn't be up to me at 14 you are a child. If her parents had any kind of brains in their head they would toss that 19 year old far, far away from that 14 year old. Plus there is nothing that 19 year old wants from a 14 year old. What to hear her deep opinions on Hannah Montana or how cute Zac Efron is? Please. I can see where the love connection is.
A 19 year old who would date a 14 year old is a sexual predator plain and simple. If he wants to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life and go to jail then by all means date away.
That's really a stupid question.
Whether the roles are reversed or not, it is sick, sick, sick. If a 19 year old boy cam here calling for my daughter, he would be looking down the barrel of a shotgun. PERIOD!
19 year olds and 14 year olds are in two totally different stages of life psychologically. A 19 year old is in college and a 14 year old is in middle school. Two completely different lifestyles.
Your right sort of but I'm not going to argue with you on this matter because we have different views...
Jay15forever Follow your heart that's all I can say besides talk to your parents about it
We aren't right sort of. WE ARE RIGHT!! We are parents, we have been teens before.
If you don't believe it is illegal, just look here
A table of worldwide ages of consent, including US states
It's not a matter of opinion there are laws. Do you understand the difference between law and opinion? If it was just a matter of following your heart then we would have laws like France where a 14 year old can carry on with whomever he or she chooses. However we don't have the same "L'Amour, C'est La vie" idea. We recognize that a 14 year old is a child and needs to be protected against the influences of an adult. 14 year olds need to be protected from sexual predators.Quote:
Originally Posted by xxmissconfusedxx
This 19 year old is a pedophile, not my opinion by an adult who seeks out relationships with children is a pedophile that is fact.
No you don't see where we are coming from. You are 17 (according to your profile) and obviously don't have as much life experience as so many if us do. You have the romanticized view of love that is typical of a teenager. It is HIGHLY unlikely that love truly exists between a 14 yr old and a 19 yr old, whatever the sexes. A 14 yr old is a child and hasn't enough experience to truly understand what real love is. A 14 yr old is likely to be so flattered by the attention of someone that much older, that they can easily mistake infatuation for love. And a 19 yr old is an adult. A 19 yr old is likely in college or maybe even earning a living. A 19 yr old has a whole set of concerns and interests that a 14 yr old has yet to understand.Quote:
Originally Posted by xxmissconfusedxx
This is not an issue of different views. This is an issue of responsible advice. It is irresponsible to encourage such a relationship. The greater likelihood is that the 19 yr old is a sexual predator (whether the male or the female). By encouraging you are setting up the 14 yr old to be exploited. Even if the 19 yr old is truly infatuated, you are setting the 19 yr old up for a life as a sex offender.Quote:
Originally Posted by xxmissconfusedxx
Everyone here is entitled to express their views, but when their views are so off the wall, irresponsible and dangerous they will be put down.
And is that your fault if he/she becomes a sex offender NO IT IS HIS/HERS. If he/she wants to date a 14 yr old let him/her do it
Excuse me? Did you forget what this site is for? Its for people to ask for help in making a decision. If course it isn't our fault if the 19 yr old turns out to be a sex offender. But it would certainly be our fault if we encouraged the 14 yr old to date such a person, especially knowing what we know.Quote:
Originally Posted by xxmissconfusedxx
They came here asking for advice. We take pride in the quality of the advice we give. Giving advice to a 14 yr old to date a 19 yr old is not quality advice. Its downright BAD advice. Its so bad it might be considered criminal!
I realize you are a confused 17 year old. Don't confuse others by giving them bad advice.
I don't think you understand. We are saying that when someone comes on these boards and ask if its okay for a child to date an adult it is irresponsible to condone such behavior as you have been doing.Quote:
Originally Posted by xxmissconfusedxx
Okay I gave her advise and what did you all do you shot my advise down then I attempted to ignore it and once again your being rude so never mind good bye
Did I say go ahead date him no I said do what your heart feels and maybe her heart says no but her head says yes just leave me alone I'm done with this topic
Yes you did. What do you think; "If he/she wants to date a 14 yr old let him/her do it" means?Quote:
Originally Posted by xxmissconfusedxx
As I explained we are going to shoot down bad advice to protect the people coming here seeking help. There are times when different pieces of advice might be applicable. But not in this case. I hope your are done with this topic so you won't be giving the OP any more bad advice.
Excuse me scottgem, but who are you to label this advice as BAD, and bully the kid into abstaining from further posts (on the TEENS page)?
You might find it unacceptable, but then again there's lots of other countries and cultures that wouldn't find a 14/19 relationship all that scandalous. I'm not saying whether it's right or wrong, I'm just saying that's the way things are - and where on earth does it say that this forum has to stick to the US law?
Get a grip, your opinion isn't the universal truth. There's as many opinions and there're people, and as many laws as there're countries.
This particular OP is in the US, that is why we stick to US laws.Quote:
Originally Posted by kirriky
Have you even visited this site? A table of worldwide ages of consent, including US states
This gives the worldwide age of consent. NOT JUST THE US.
I am me. I can label ANY advice I want as bad as long as I can back it up. Obviously I am not the only one who felt that the advice was bad. I stand by what I said.Quote:
Originally Posted by kirriky
As for bullying anyone into stopping further posts, I suggest you reread what I said instead of what you wanted to read. It was the poster who said herself, that she was done "with this topic". I assumed that to mean this thread. At no time did I say anything about her ceasing to post period.
But, as I said earlier, we pride ourselves on the quality of advice we give here. ANYONE who cares about the site, its reputation, the quality of advice given and the help given would feel an obligation to counter bad advice.
NO A 14 CANNOT GO OUT WITH A 19 YEAR OLD! THE REASON IS BECUASE WHEN YOU ARE 19 YOU KNOW THAT 19-14 EQUALS 5!
I agree that a 14 year old cannot go with a 19 year old, but I am sorry, I don't understand your particular brand of reasoning.Quote:
Originally Posted by ma85me
Quote:
Originally Posted by kirriky
Thank you so much for sticking up for me
I don't think that it's that big of a deal. I want to date a guy that's 20 n I'm 17.. no matter what age you are people are going to see a problem wit the age difference.. but if this person means a lot to you than go for it... thats what I'm doing. :}Quote:
Originally Posted by Jay15forever
Say you have a younger sibiling that was female would you approve of her dating a 19 year old and she is only 14Quote:
Originally Posted by Jay15forever
Of course the younger person does not care often if the older person is latter charged with rape, and listed as a child molestor for the rest of their life. It happens all the time in the US.
We had a poster just a day or two ago, where after 15 years, they forgot to register when they moved and ended up back in jail.
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