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I'm going to be raising my child alone. Yes, I have the help of my mom and my family... but I'm still scared. I know when I first bring the baby home it is going to be hard because I won't have the help of the significant other... Any tips? Thoughtful Advice?
One thing that helped me in the way of taking care of the baby was I trained myself to wake up during the night before the baby was born, this way I was already used to it when I had to get up and actually feed him.
WIC is a wonderful resource, and I believe (but am not sure) you can get it when you are under 18. Free formula (a huge help) and nutritional items for you as well.
And finally, it doesn't take two parents to love a child. A child can get all the love he/she needs from one parent. Just be confident you can do this and you will do just fine, especially with the help of loved ones. When you have that baby, you will be the center of its universe, and you will find that you could never love anyone more than your children.
Good luck! :)
With the help of your family you should be just fine. Babies more than anything just want to be loved.
Just keep well prepared. Always have extra essentials such as formula, medicine, diapers and a change of clothes on hand, extra crib sheets are good too. Being so young I don't know if breast feeding would be a healthy option but if you can I would suggest breast feeding.
Make sure when the baby naps try to get a quick one in as well.
I would also look into WIC as nauticalstar suggested.
On these situations, I would say that you shouldn't have had sex or you should have had safe sex. But it has already happened and I will try to help you any way possible. My best friends mother has had 4 boyfriends and each time a baby came along, the boyfriend would leave and make my friends mother do all the dirty work, and I believe that your boyfriend was like one of these men. My best friend had a boyfriend like this once, and he treated her like dirt. So don't worry about your boyfriend leaving you. He left, and instead of mourning you should concentrate and focus more on your baby. (CONGRATS!)Yes, it will be hard when you first start, but you have your family to help you out on any hard situations. I'm glad to hear that your not going to have an abortion or put your child up for adoption, but your going to go through this step by step. But you must keep strong. You love this baby of yours, don't you? Start small, go to second hand shops and buy the things that a baby needs. (eg- pram, bottle, rattles, baby seats etc etc etc) After you get the feel of being a mother start with a more complicated problem (eg- what does my baby like doing? take your baby out to parks, spend more time with your baby etc etc etc) When you have your baby remember the three things you must remember.
1. Look after your baby
2. Spend time with your baby/ always be there for him or her in the good and bad time.
3. Always love them, and make them feel loved
(ps- Any chance you could tell me what gender your baby is and what your going to call him or her? I just love babies... there so cute. But keep strong, focus on your baby and seek help from your mum because she would probably be the main person who would know what to do. Oh, and also... congratulations!! )
She is offline, so I will help you out. She is only 14 weeks pregnant, so she probably (more than likely) doesn't know the sex yet. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by FrOsT_bItE
One quick question here ladies, I have never heard of WIC... could that be because I am canadian?
Probably so but I'm sure they might have a similar type of program.
Yea I'm sure I can find something here
I know I will be getting government assistance
But as everyone keeps saying...
"To love my child"
I already love it to pieces and I can't wait!
I know it is pretty much a given to love your child, but some reassurance about that is always helpful. After all, like someone said above, all they really want is your love. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Young-Love
You can do it! My friend had a baby when she was 17 and she is doing just fine, supporting herself on a burger king salary and child tax benefit, the father does nothing but mooch off her and buy pot when he has money. He also steals money out of kylie(her daughters) piggy bank! My friend is a very strong person! I believe that you can indeed take care of your child perfectly by yourself. Moose Jaw SK, my home town, highest teen pregnancy rate in all of Canada! I know many of these teen girls, the father is not there for any of them, and they seem to be doing just fine! Just love your child and do the best you can! Does your school have a teen moms program? If so, you can do your school work there and take your child to school with you in order to get your education and take care of your baby. Also in canada, you get 300$ a month from the government in order to help take care of your child. Also asking your parents or a good friend to help look afetr the baby so you can get a part time job, asking never hurt anyone! But you should be just fine! Good luck!
I don't acctually go to school. I am home schooled.
I work full time as it is so I'm not money strapped I'm just scared for having to go through a lot of these things on my own.
I'm in love with the father... but he left
And he won't stop hurting.
Hello dear,
During your pregnancy, you will be going through an emotional roller-coaster...
Some days you will be strong and confident, other you will be sad and missing the jerk that left you in this condition. Try as best as you can to understand that these are due to hormones and not true feelings of love.
No matter what you go through these next few months, keep in mind that we will be here and we will listen and can understand what you are going through. Since we are from many different countries and time-zones you can probably catch one of us at any time. We cannot replace real family and friends, but when they are not available - we will do our best.
Also find some internet sites that will show you how your little one is developing and going through the stages. They will also explain big and small maladies that you will experience, if there is no prenatal help where you live.
Again, you are not alone and take good care of yourself.
Check the Motherhood threads here for some good sites to visit.
All the best,
Your not alone though, your parents are going to help you, we are going to help you
Thanks a lot.
Ahh, I go to my doctor once a month for prenatals and I was comletely shocked when I heard my baby's heart beat for the first time.
I go for an ultra sound in September.
And thanks a million
It's also a lot easier to ask others because I tend to argue with my parents a ton (as most do) because they are my parents after all and sometimes you just can't listen to what they say
You will be fine. It will be rough at first, but soon you will adjust to the new routine. I agree find the government help. Also when the baby is born, get child support. That is money both you and your child deserve. He is obligated to care for his child even if he doesn't want to participate in its upbringing. I also suggest getting used baby things (cribs, and whatnot, not necessarily bottles :) I find it easier to buy something every month. That way the spending is stretched out abit farther and doesn't hurt as much. Is someone going to throw you a shower? Go and register somewhere... This can be very helpful for bottles, diapers, and clothing. You sound like you have a great support system, and that is what is really important. Congrats and good luck!
I know a lot of people say buy used
But is it honestly bad if you really want to buy things new..
I can afford it. I acctually have a system where I put $200 away each pay check and I'm using that to go towards baby.
I know child support will be paid either by him or the parents(He is a minor as well)
He understands that he has to pay it.
My biggest fear is he won't sign the papers stating that he doesn't want custody...
If I have custody over the child they have to prove me unfit right?
It has been a while since I researched and found a lot of new sites that you can check out to help you understand what you are going through.
There are so many, but I will give you a start with one of them:
Pregnancy Symptoms, Early Pregnancy Symptoms, Early Signs Of Pregnancy, First Signs Of Pregnancy
Try this one for size and search until you find one that is just right for you.
Again, wishing you all the best and stay with us.
Chery
Unless you are irresponsible, homeless, a criminal history, drug related history, and goodness knows what else, - it will be difficult for anyone to take your baby away without a fight.Quote:
Originally Posted by Young-Love
You will have a lot of thoughts, fears, and sleepless nights - anyone in your shoes would feel the same. But this only proves that you are not alone, there are many single moms-to-be that go through what you are going through right now.
Check out the site I suggested, find out what you will be experiencing, and you will see that it is very important to stay calm and stress-free and focused on the health and development of your baby.
The rest will happen in due time, but nobody is in full control of the future and the more help you get, the better. Ask your family to help you carry some of the burden of worry for you and get their reassurance. Ask them to talk with his family and find out what their future plans are - they might surprise you and want to share the burden and help you. If not, then you know for sure what you will be up against instead of reading into the future with constant negativeness.
Once this is done, concentrate on the main issue here - your pregnancy and your baby. Make sure that there is a balance of good nutrition and rest, and yes even some feeling of joy (instead of constant worrying).
Again, stay with us and lots of luck.
There is nothing wrong with wanting things new. I went through the same thing, I wanted new clothes. I meant big things like cribs. You can find those in great condition used... and spend half the price. You will quickly learn to be thrifty once the little one comes :)
Oh I know everyone tells me so. :)
I have talked to the father. And at this point we ave acctualy had to tell him to stop communicating with me in any way. He was stressing me out to the max trying to tell me he knew it wasn't his. It can't be anybody else's butt he had me in tears one night and I acctually had my mum call him.
His parents want to have a more involved part in the life... but Ryland(The father) won't allow it.
Honey, if Ryland's parents want to be involved in this, and you get along with them, go to them and don't worry about him.
The more positive assistance you get, the better. They probably know what their son is capable of as far as emotional stress goes and they will be able to handle it also.
Let him know that you are sure it is his baby and will be able to prove such if he insists, but that he can pay for the test after the baby is born. That will either shut him up for a while so that you can have a stressless gestation period - which is what we need at this time.
So, again - this problem is not a new one and you can work on it and others as long as you don't stress yourself out.
Keep in touch and rest as much as possible when the job allows.
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif
I hope you at least plan on suing the "significant other" for child support. If he's as young as you he probably doesn't have much earning power as of yet and therefore can't pay a whole lot, but that can be modified as the years go by and he becomes capable of earning more and thus paying more. Getting the judgement will be an important first step and he'll have to comply whether he wants to or not.
Yes I agree with s_cianci, use the law and learn to protect yourself!
Be strong,learn from what you have done the "right" and the "wrong", remember the things that don't kill you will make you stronger girl.
Yes well I'm waiting to hear back from his aprents. The hard thing for his parents right now is his family is Jahova Witness. He never told me the entire time we were together. If I had known I would have backed off completely because religion is important to some people... but obviously not to him.
He knows he has to pay child support but I don't think he realizes how much it is... same with the Paternity test. In Canada it can cost up to 900 dollars.
I know he is just as scared as I am and his parents aren't handling it sooo well but I know I have definitely learned from this.
It has made me stronger, nicespringgirl, and it will continue to do so :)
You will be fine, My mom had me at your age and I don't think she could have been a better mom! Im 19 now and my mom is my best friend. Everything will be okay.
Kids cannot always be a good thing. My dad killed himself because of me. He hated me...
According to his note, Kids ruin you're life...
SUE THE M F'er for child support.. I don't know the laws for Canada but I'm sure they are pretty similar to the US.. You can gain child support.. And he'll have nothing to say about that.. It maight req. a paternity test so be prepared.. But it'll all work out.
Good luck to you. The only advice I know to give that hasn't been said is make some time for yourself once the baby comes (though I'm sure in the beginning it will be difficult!). Just go to the movies or get your nails done with some close friends at least a couple times a month. Sometimes everything can get too stressful and hectic so you need to be able to spend some time for yourself, to leave the situation so you will be able to go back and appreciate time with your child more. It will make difficult times a lot more endurable.
Your naivety doesn't surprise me. Your still A baby yourself. But now it's time to grow up. Your life has just been put on the back burner. From this point forward every significant decision you make has to go through the test (how will my decision impact my child's life).
My advice, focus on your education. Refrain from sexual intercourse until you understand completely the concepts of planned parenthood and safe sex.
1 more thing. Be more prudent about who you jump in the sack with. Your baby's father appears to be a punk.
My guess is uve had the baby how are u doing!
All you can do is one day at a time now.
Continue your education, get your degree, do everything you can while they are little, so when you move out of mommy and daddy's house and have to do it all on your own you can hold a job that will allow you to care for yourself and your child.
I had my son at 17. It's not easy, if I could change my actions that lead to me being pregnant I would, but now you just have to deal with it, one day at a time.
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