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I mean where would he even get an idea like he said in that e-mail unless I don't look good enough for him... but I'm sorry to say, I'm starting to think that he is ugly. Mainly because of what he is doing with his hair. And I don't know why I do want him because truth is: he isn't good enough for me.
Ignore him no matter what he says. Or just say ONLY "ok" over and over each time he says something.
Ok. Lol. I'll try it.
Then smile brightly and, as you walk away, say, "Catch you some other time."
OK
He wasn't at school and he called me today but before I could think to ignore him, I answered it... he just sounded like he hates me so much and I just told him I was busy and then he had an attitude so I hung up really fast. I almost e-mailed him but I stopped myself.
I don't know I'm just so worried.
Ignore him.
Well, what do I do when I need to tell someone that my uncle got shot to death last night, and I have no one to go to?Not that he would care.
Did your uncle get shot to death last night?
You've written everyone out of your life. If they don't care, it's because you have slammed the door in their faces.
I just read your other post. I'm sorry about your uncle, but since you didn't even know him and don't know your aunt and cousins, how can you feel much of anything? They are like strangers. How did he get killed?
Do you want me to send you the aritcle?
It leaves out a few things.
First they thought it might have been gang related. Because he used to be into all that and everything. But it was just the one guy. My uncle owed him money and never paid him back.
I seen in the paper yesterday that a car was set on fire on their street and I wondered if it was thrie house but I didn't think much of it. I just thought ' now they're setting cars on fire instead of busting out windows"
The day before that he was beat. And yesterday he was killed.
O and when the guy shot him, afterwards he just kind of looked at him, cocked his head, turned around and walked away.
I think they arrested him today.
I'm just afraid now. Ive always been really paranoid that any second someone's going to shoot me. Like now even. Always. Now I see how common it really is. Escpecially where I live. It happens all the time around here. Just last year their was a shooting next door to them. My dad told them when they moved their that it was a bad area... they figured if they just mind their own business it would be okay.
Why would anyone shoot you? It sounds like your uncle was in trouble for a long time and made a few enemies. How many women and girls have been shot during the past five years?
I don't know. I just always have that fear. Its constant. Any little sound will make me freeze.
I have a lot of enimies... I can't walk any where without them trying to start a fight... or getting in one. And I never start it.
Why do you have a lot of enemies?
I don't know. A lot of reasons. Some people just don't like me for reasons I'm unsure of. Then Iv'e threatened a lot of people and say things to peoples face. Usually I'm pretty quiet though. I'm like the queit bully with no friends. I get into an argument with someone and 2- 3 years later don't let them ever see the end of it still.
That's not healthy.
Yeah, but I need to get some sleep. I'm so tired. I think feeling paranoid is the only feeling I have left though because I've lost so much sleep lately... I don't know I'm tired until I fall asleep. I never feel myself being tired or hungry. I can't cry anymore or laugh sometimes. When I do laugh though, I can never stop.
Then go to bed. Sleep well.
PLEASE HELP ME ASAP
What can I do now?
Iv'e been thinking about getting my hair cut. He wanted me to let it grow out BUT... I can't stand it being so long and I talked to him on the phone today... This is all so confusing... He seemed to really want to quit talking. First he said he wants to go do what he wants to do and he doesn't care about me anymore and then he said something about going some place with one of his friends this weekend... More than likely he was talking about a strip club. He kept telling me that it isn't right for me to be with him because he's not fair like that and that MAYBE if I let him do what he wants but let him boss me around he MIGHT talk to me but even then he might leave...
Eventually he said, he'll talk to me when I get my hair cut, lose about 30 pounds, change everything about how I look and act, have more of the same interests as him, let him tell me what I can and can't do, and talk to him more, and get my license... then he'll care about me... he might not do things I don't want him doing.
But I don't think its right for me to do those things for him. But that's how he is. He thinks everyone should be like that to him. And I don't want to get my hair cut now because he might think that I did it for him. When really I've be4en wanting to a while now.
I'm confused. I need to know exactly what to do now . And what is more than likely going on.
Also, he said that he got rid of his e-mail address all together so I can only talk to him in person at school, unless he calls me.
He doesn't want to talk to me but then he gets mad when I ignore him.
It so twisted and confusing,
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE... Where do I go from here?
He even told me that he doesn't care if I find someone else and I have been thinking about it but I still want to try to work things out with him and I don't think its right for him to not like me for me like that.
IGNORE HIM and get your hair cut if that's what YOU want to do.
Why oh why are you talking to him??
Cuz he thinks I hate him when I don't talk to him and he complains about how neither of us have anything to say to each other so we should just quit talking.
Do you really think he''ll come to me if I ignore him?
I hate talking about this whjole thing and thinking about it. I just want to hurry and get past this part.
Well, you've pleaded for help but haven't done a thing I or anyone else has suggested. I'm losing interest fast. Do what you feel like doing.
Also, When he sees that I'm not doing those things he will think that I decided not to talk to him so he won't talk to me... I know how it goes. Then he will just say its too late and if I wanted him I would have done all that.
I want to make sure that whatever I do works and its damn near impossible but I feel like its right their in front of me and I just can't see it.
Whether I talk to him or don't talk to him, it will turn out the same.
He really said all that to you? I am in awe if so. Why oh why are you wanting to be with this guy? He obviously cares only about himself, not you. He thinks you hate him if you ignore him, but if you don't he ignores you or treats you bad? He would say something cruel like he's thinking of leaving you for another girl, and then when you retaliate act like he doesn't know what it's like to say something you don't mean?
Honestly if you want him back, don't talk to him, ignore him. Don't hear him out. If you have to tell him how he was wrong. Stand up for yourself because you deserve better. Tell him so. Act like it doesn't bother you. Hold your head up.
One of two things will happen... he will realize how much of a jerk he's been and 'try' to come to you, at which point you can decide if you'd want to give this guy a chance he probably doesn't deserve, or drop him and hopefully find someone who will respect you for you.
Or Two he will think you hate him and might even contact you to find out what's up, or not talk to you ever again, at which point you will still be standing up up for yourself, and those guys who respect that in a woman will see it and see you for who you are, not who they demand you be.
I'm sorry if I seem a little harsh.
Well, then. There's your answer. Ignore him and get on with your life. For your mental health's sake, ignore him.Quote:
Originally Posted by beth911
But how do you know he isn't being seious? How do you know if he really wants to leave or if he's just mesiing around?
I don't know. You don't know. Maybe he doesn't know either.
Ignore him.
Beth911,
There's a book called "He's Just Not That Into You" by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. It's a very easy read.
I bought it for my daughter who used to sound like you. She's in her 20's now and has a number of good male friends. She says now after reading this book that she'll know when the right guy comes along.
She's much happier and not as stressed now that she's not driving herself nuts wondering why a certain guy won't call, pay attention to her, ask her out or make a commitment to her.
You're young with a whole life ahead of you. You will come across many wonderful young men in your life and look back and ask yourself what you ever saw in this guy.;)
I don't know what I see in him now.. but that don't change that I want him and always will. And I'll make that sure
Time to move onto other interests that you might have as far as boyfriends, Beth. He's not really interested in you. If he was, then he would be acting that way. He's not acting that way. Time to move on. If you want to make sure that you will "have" him, then you are wasting your time.
No doubt, you will continue to ask about "what if" and "I don't know" with your questions and remarks here. I dare you to prove us wrong about that! Please prove us wrong concerning that!
You can't have what you can't have! Some things are not meant to be.
There HAS to be a way. When what I want is right there in front of me... I know if I don't give up and try all I can that I will eventually have what I want.
Do you really want to be with someone who isn't ready to be with you?
Are you listening to ANYONE in here? You seem to have made your mind up.
Im not here to be talked out of wanting him.
I'm here for help to make things better with me and him.
Actually, that's the only reason why I'm still living too... just in case one day he changes his mind.
But its funny... the more he does all this to me... The more I don't like him. But also, the more I want him.
And I can't stand to even think of him anymore after all he's put me through... but maybe sooner or later he'll change and make up for it all.
Its just now, when I see him... After all he's put me through, I can't really be glad to see him. I don't know how to explain it. I just see him differently now and I don't think I could ever feel loved by him no matter how much he tried to show it. But I really do love him and he thinks that I'm the one who hates him/
Several of us (voices of experience) have told you how to do this, but you won't do it.Quote:
Originally Posted by beth911
I've tried and its like he knows what I'm doing and always finds away to outsmart me.
I'm just way too stressed out from it all right now. The past 2 months I haven't been able to feel a whole lot of pain or cry or anything... and I wasn't able to thing either.
Now all I can do is cry but I can't even walk or anything.
I mean imgaine not even being able to feel when your tired. And you don't know you are tired until your up for a few days and end up falling asleep out of no where. That's what its like.
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