Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ScottGem

I've been trying to be polite to you, but frankly I don't believe you. I think you keep making things up to counter the holes we keep finding in your story.

You didn't mention it was SCHOOL police you initially spoke to, which makes a big difference. But now you claim you spoke to the Vegas police. Even though you are repeating the same advice we gave you.

---

I have to agree. Quite honestly (ashamed to admit this) I used to do the same thing when I was younger. And it definitely looks like this girl is doing the same.

You guys just don't get it

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ttaayylloorr18

you guys just dont get it

---

No hon, we DO understand. But the problem is, we are looking at it from older eyes. We have the experience that you do not. And we are hoping you will take our advice and not jump into some of the same mistakes that we lived through.

It may be that you need to learn on your own through trial and error. And that's fine.

But we really do understand. I was just where you are right now 10 years ago. And 10 years does a LOT to alter how you look at things.

I think this has been so back and forth but, I am leaving tomorrow. I have written a note explaining exactly what is wrong and why I am choosing to leave. I love my family, obviously or I would have just left without any thought. But, I am so unhappy here that it's unlivable. So, if leaving is what it takes for me to be happy then that is what I need to do.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ttaayylloorr18

you guys just dont get it

---

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ttaayylloorr18

I think this has been so back and forth but, I am leaving tomorrow. I have written a note explaining exactly what is wrong and why i am choosing to leave. I love my family, obviously or i would have just left without any thought. But, I am so unhappy here that it's unlivable. So, if leaving is what it takes for me to be happy then that is what i need to do.

---

I think we get it very well. The fact is that you have been given a lot of very good advice. We do understand that you feel your home life is unlivable. But lots of teens feel that way. But we have told you that you are legally able to move and we have advised you on the best ways to make that move. However we have also advised you of the issues and consequences of making that move. All of this to help YOU.

However, we do have concerns because every time we make a point you seem to come up with some counter to that point. And often those counters seem to be fabricated just to make your point. That has caused has us to doubt your veracity and maturity.

But we wish you well and hope your choices will prove to be the right ones.

I think everyone wishes OP good luck - I was going to comment on what is or what is not legal advice from the Police but, as has been said, the story changes.

Good advice, Jen - I know you've been there and back again and your experience is VERY helpful.

A helpful AND applause.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ScottGem

I've been trying to be polite to you, but frankly I don't believe you. I think you keep making things up to counter the holes we keep finding in your story.

You didn't mention it was SCHOOL police you initially spoke to, which makes a big difference. But now you claim you spoke to the Vegas police. Even though you are repeating the same advice we gave you.

---

So, I left and let me prove you all wrong by stating that I am MUCH happier living with him. Nothing I ever said was a lie. AND I'm getting married in August after that I'll be living on base when he joins the military. So, for all of your snarky comments and pretty much calling me a rebellious teen, I proved you wrong. My father came to my school screaming at people and wandering to find me. I felt unsafe, and even my own teacher went to my principal and told him that I am not just some rebellious teen. That I'm actually in a bad situation with my parents. So, you may now take your ignorant comments and uneducated advice and give it to someone else.

OK so I moved out. I had to call the police about 4 times due to my father being unstable and irrational. He's come to my school four times. Withdrew me and tried to get me to go to a different school, so I had to reenroll myself as homeless lol. Whatever. He now has a restraining order against the school. I haven't spoken to him since the day before I moved out. He said he disowned me which is fine. I don't really care. My mother is just as bad as my dad now so I don't talk to her either. BUT I'm SOOO much happier with my boyfriend. Well, fiancé actually. I'm getting married in June. :) and I never lied about anything I said. You guys are just overly judgmental and like jumping to conclusions.

If you aren't in her shoes or you don't know from seeing what goes on in this girls household how can you criticize her? I am 18 and in the same position except I am physically abused as well as emotionally. I completely understand where she's coming from. Not to mention I am adopted and the only money my mother makes is off me. P.S. I just graduated high school and my mother is so much of a she wasn't even happy because she knows that I am now more likely to get up and leave. I understand being young that typically were more likely to make stupid decisions but not every 18 year old is completely incapable of taking care of themselves. I have a friend that moved out at 17 because his family were drug addicts and were too high 99% of the time to take care of him and he knew he would be better off on his own. He is now 20 years old has a stable job, his own place, and he put himself through college. It wasn't easy but it helped him build character.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by charianderson

If you aren't in her shoes or you don't know from seeing what goes on in this girls household how can you criticize her?

---

Because, when dealing with posts like this we have to make judgments based on what the OP has told us. We have to take what the OP has told us and combine that with our own knowledge and experience to formulate advice. And that's EXACTLY what you did. Since you had a similar experience, you were more inclined to accept her side of the story.

So don't criticize us for trying to give the best advice we think applicable to the situation. After all we are volunteering our time and expertise to help members. Sometimes that help means being critical of them to show the reality of their situation.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by charianderson

If you aren't in her shoes or you don't know from seeing what goes on in this girls household how can you criticize her? I am 18 and in the same position except I am physically abused as well as emotionally. I completely understand where shes coming from. Not to mention I am adopted and the only money my mother makes is off of me. P.S. I just graduated high school and my mother is so much of a she wasn't even happy because she knows that I am now more likely to get up and leave. I understand being young that typically were more likely to make stupid decisions but not every 18 year old is completely incapable of taking care of themselves. I have a friend that moved out at 17 because his family were drug addicts and were too high 99% of the time to take care of him and he knew he would be better off on his own. He is now 20 years old has a stable job, his own place, and he put himself through college. It wasn't easy but it helped him build character.

---

How odd that you've never posted before, come to this thread, criticize the answers... and move on without addressing any oher threads.

Wow - someone who at age 20 has graduated from college.

I was just responding to the first answer by Jr Chuck. I'm not criticizing what you guys say it was just rude the way he had put it and he hadn't even heard the whole story or the details. You guys seem to have given good advice. Which is why I tried to correct it later because I had just realized I had did it wrong and didn't mention who I was replying to. No he's not finished with college but he is doing it on his own even though he has to work harder to achieve his goals he's doing it and he is a lot happier.

I don't come from a drug background and I also put myself through College. This is not all that uncommon.

I AM glad you came back and explained - AMHD is a good group of people and it's unfortunate when somebody starts on what could be the wrong foot.

Welcome!

Well you have to be careful here.It is true that this guy can turn his back on you however I do not see how this is worse than an abusive parent and let me give advice based on experience.When I was born my father died so my mother got scared and decided to return to her pareents to help raise me ,everyone told her not to do it and stay on her own but she wasd too weak and too scared to listen .We returned to her parents and we regret ever doing it.they do not care about us and treat us like crap and think that we are always there for them.My point is that do not stay with your parents out of fear make a decision out of clear thinking not fear of the unknown.What I know for sure is that you desrrve better than an abusive home so you have to do whatever it takes.I know that what I am going t say now is unpopular but it is the truth.You are alone humans are born amd die alone so you are the one who will make their life better.Do not let anybody scare you or talk you into making wrong decisions .

If she's under legal age - and I'm not even going to bother reading this again - she cannot just get up and leave.

So - your mother was afraid or whatever was going on when your father died so she moved back in (with you) with her parents. You are using a computer so you can't still be an infant. Why is she still there?

Instead of blaming the very people who probably kept you off the streets and/or in foster care (and her, too) you are angry with your Grandparents... but I don't see you and your mother leaving.

So your mother pays her (and your) share of your Grandparents' bills and expenses so they aren't feeding and sheltering out of their pockets?

Oh, by the way, I was raised by my Grandparents who had already raised their children and who gave up a lot for me - an awful lot so I'm pretty sensitive to this issue.

I'd be a lot more angry at my mother than I would at my Grandparents.

I see you blaming a number of people for your unhappiness.

First of all I am not unhappy I just state the truth they were more pain than help throughout the years and their financial support is nothing(we make it on our own).My mother was an adult but she was too weak and scared to live on her own.Back to the topic the girl is an adult and even if the abusive parents and the boyfriends are lies she can move out .Has she tried to ask someone to help her find a job?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by oscurio

First of all i am not unhappy i just state the truth they were more pain than help throughout the years and their financial support is nothing(we make it on our own).My mother was an adult but she was too weak and scared to live on her own.Back to the topic the girl is an adult and even if the abusive parents and the boyfriends are lies she can move out .Has she tried to ask someone to help her find a job?

---

This question was first posted SIX months ago. Prior to your response there were over NINETY previous responses. The point Judy was making is that your response did not deal with all the issues that were raised in the thread. It certainly appeared that you did not bother to read through the thread before responding. In doing so, your advice was not really applicable to the OP's situation. Please make note of dates and previous responses before responding to a thread.

At this point it seems the thread should be CLOSED