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-   -   18 year old feeling lonely and slowly dying inside (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=521050)

  • May 11, 2006, 02:01 AM
    Krs
    Same goes for teenage boy jeffatl ;)
  • May 11, 2006, 02:04 AM
    jeffatl
    LOL! I know... I know. It does take maturity to get past those things in life. Boys and girls. I like what you said about "learing from your mistakes". That is REALLY important to maturity. I ALSO think that's what our friend here needs to do. Don't just shrug off things that heppen to you in life, good and bad. Learn from the things you go through.
  • May 11, 2006, 02:47 AM
    Krs
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by wrongful hurtings
    Why is that. Girls are attracted to jerks I know why but don't understand it. Also why is it a girl will jump on a emotion but if they think about it and know what they want they stall and maybe not take any actions. I have another question, this is for girls. Do you just do something because its easy like for instance you like this guy but don't want to be with him forever sorry you love him and already agreed to marry him but you change your mind would you leave or stay with him just because its easier, if so WHY?

    How old are you?
  • May 11, 2006, 03:45 AM
    milliec
    Since I can't express my agreement with KRS unless writing a post, I might as well add the following:
    We have to be VERY careful making general statements like these, "wrongful hurtings".
    There girls too, attracted to manipulative men, like butterflies to candles,then turn out with broken hearts and burnt wings.
    As for the other part of your question, this is not so clear to me: do you mean that they seem to get deeply involved with someone, and only then stop to think?
    If so, this is also a very general observation. It might happen that a person is attracted by someone, and then when they know each other better they have 2nd thoughts, or shall we rather say, that when the 1st excitement wears out, other things become visible, and people begin to consider a wider range of aspects.
    Again, this is true for both sexes.
    Good luck,
    Millie
    :)
  • May 11, 2006, 04:19 AM
    NeedKarma
    I do see a trend where girls seem to go through a phase where they want to date the "dangerous" man. I think they feel "cool" by doing this. Invariably they get hurt (hopefully only psychologically) and realize a nice guy who respects you is the way to go. Sadly some become single moms during this time.
  • May 11, 2006, 06:18 AM
    fredg
    Hi, wrongful,
    You have some good answers.
    Just like to add that many teens go through the same thing. I don't know your age, but it's normal for teens, as well as some a little older.
    With some experience with dating, you will be able to see it right off, and don't be that concerned about it.
    You can CHOOSE who you wish to date, then you can choose if you want to date the same girl again.
    As for marriage, or thinking about it, many don't even think about marriage when they are dating. It's only after some months with the same girl that you might think about it. It also depends on age. Teens should not be getting married! There is still too much to learn, people to meet. I do wish you the best, and good luck. Be selective.
  • May 11, 2006, 07:05 AM
    talaniman
    There should be a law that you must be at least 40 before you can be married and no shacking until 60. That would solve all these relationship problems! :cool: :eek:
  • May 11, 2006, 07:07 AM
    Krs
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman
    There should be a law that you must be at least 40 before you can be married and no shacking until 60. that would solve all these relationship problems!!:cool: :eek:

    Like it - though it would be a world full of frustrated people :p
  • May 11, 2006, 03:34 PM
    Wildcat21
    Women DON'T LIKE jerks one bit, believe me. A lot of times the JERK comes ascross a good guy for the sex. BUT, woman like jerks because they know they won't hurt their feelings when they dump them - or won't care about the jerks feelings. She doesn't have to worry about him.

    Women worry that they will hurt the 'nice guy' too easily... (which generally ISN'T true)... but the nice guy does too much and she feels she can't throw a hissy fit if she needs to.
  • May 11, 2006, 07:11 PM
    wrongful hurtings
    Yea but then other problems would occur... I'm 20
  • May 12, 2006, 12:05 AM
    Krs
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by wrongful hurtings
    Yea but then other problems would occur........I'm 20

    What other problems?
  • May 12, 2006, 01:06 AM
    tirednhurt86
    I don't know about any other girls out there, but I know for myself that all I have ever wanted was for a guy to love me and for me to love him. I never find myself attracted to the "Jerk" type, but somehow all the guys I date end up becoming a jerk. I don't go out of my way looking for a "jerk" they just seem to find me. So maybe girls aren't so much attracted to jerks as they just seem to accidenty fall in love with guys who seem nice in the beginning and then end up changing along the way. And as for the second question, I, myself, would never marry a guy that I did not love even if it was easier than ending it. Hope that helps. Goodluck!
  • Oct 13, 2008, 08:14 AM
    someone1989
    Well I don't know the answer but I can say that I am one of these stupid girls!I am 20.I was fell in love with a jerk who was married and had a daughter and was 21 years older than me!but I closed my eyes and thaghut he is my reall love!
    After a short time his wife underestod that I am her husband's girl friend and called me and menaced me!Finally I decided to stop this dating!With a broken hurt!
    When I think a about my past I can't undrestand why I was fell in love this man!There wasn't any commen thing between us!But I loved him and liked he touch me,kiss me and say I love you!Now I am sure if he said I love you he was right!But he was saying it to my lips and body not me!
    After all I think I love him because he exaclly said the distences which I loved to here!He has self confidence and tried to show me I can prop him!
    I knew that I won't marry him but I was sure he is my love in whole my life!even I get marry with some one else!Any way now I am really sorry for myself!
  • Oct 13, 2008, 09:04 AM
    holeinheart21

    Well, many of my friends, have informed me that this is the reason why many of my girlfriends left me. Generally they were all in their early 20's (I am 25) and were still in this "stage", I guess you could call it. I know many people on here, have related this to teenagers, but all the girls that I had experiences with were in their 20's. This is not to say that it isn't still a maturity issue, and that perhaps they have yet to really realize the value of love and a good guy, and I myself have never understood why they want the jerks. In my relationships, it has usually come down to it being a problem that I was willing to stick it out through thick and thin, and that no matter what, I was always going to be willing to work through things.

    I am going to take a stab as for why they go for the jerks. I have heard many opinions from people, similar to some of the comments on here, that women want what they can't have. The jerk is usually the cocky, arrogant type, who think they are too good for people, and often they are very popular. And we all know how popularity can play a major role as well. Much like girls going for the high school quarterback, they want to have "the best". So that is what is appealing to them. They are in an energetic stage I guess, where they want a challenge, and when they wind up with a decent guy, they move on to another challenge. Another side I think is that if they are not mature enough to see and appreciate the love a good guy has to offer, then they decide they don't want to make an effort and therefore want to leave for a jerk, who won't care whether she says she loves him or not, or even really care about much of what she does, because he is too caught up in his own world. I guess in the first situation, women eventually get tired of challenging themselves, and then realize they want the nice guy, and in the second situation, they get tired of not being cared about, or they get hurt, and then they realize the value of a nice loving guy? Am I on the right path here?

    Someone on here said that jerks are what women go after, but they don't wind up marrying them or staying with them long, and I guess maybe that is because they get hurt so much by them? Or maybe they realize how nice it felt to have the nice guy that was always there for them, and always reminding them how beautiful they are, whereas the jerks are not?
  • Oct 13, 2008, 07:36 PM
    slapshot_oi
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by holeinheart21 View Post
    Someone on here said that jerks are what women go after, but they don't wind up marrying them or staying with them long, and I guess maybe that is because they get hurt so much by them? Or maybe they realize how nice it felt to have the nice guy that was always there for them, and always reminding them how beautiful they are, whereas the jerks are not?

    Girls don't end up staying with jerks because, well, they're jerks! The bottom line is guys like that are phony, they have the tough-guy mentality but cry to their girlfriends in private. You know that saying that the loudest one in the room is the weakest? That's those jerks. As soon as the girl realizes that, she'll settle for the stable, strong, nice-guy. Unfortunately for us men, most women don't come to that realization until about 24, sometimes later.

    On that note, start dating older women.

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