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-   -   I think my mom's too paranoid (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=366584)

  • Jun 29, 2009, 03:40 PM
    natalie1xxx

    How am I not using the site properly we are all aloud to have are own opinions ?
  • Jun 29, 2009, 04:01 PM
    Justwantfair
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by natalie1xxx View Post
    how am i not using the site properly we are all aloud to have are own opinions ?

    You are not allowed to rate on your opinion or someone else's.
    You are allowed to rate/disagree with unfactual information, not your opinion.
  • Jul 2, 2009, 11:33 AM
    Hollyy Dollyy

    I'm 14 , and I don't think my mum would let mt out at 4 in the morning. I think you mum just wants you to be safe like any other mum. But I do know what your trying to say. (:
  • Jul 2, 2009, 02:13 PM
    3someone3
    EVERY mom is lyk that :(
  • Jul 3, 2009, 08:50 AM
    Unknown008

    3someone3, you cannot say things like that. There are, should I say, mothers who are at the extreme, and wouldn't care about their children... sadly :( If you have a mother who cares for you, you're lucky, and be content with that.
  • Jul 3, 2009, 10:53 AM
    jenniepepsi

    Good point jerry.


    bandgeek121 I think you are lucky to have a mom who cares about you as much as your mom seems to. Talk it out with her. Explain your feelings on this and come to an agreement. If early morning is the only time you can go running, perhaps your mom would be willing to get up and go with you? Or an older brother or older sister? Or perhapes you can run to school. That way you are going to school and getting your run in at the same time?

    There are so many options for you to take. I hope you get it worked out. Good luck. And keep us posted on how its going.
  • Jul 10, 2009, 09:09 PM
    bailey67

    Haha wow. You sound exactly like me, and your mom sounds exactly like mine. My mother says the same things to me all of the time and I get sooooo anoyyed.
    Tell your mom that your going into high school and pretty soon you will have your drivers license so she's going to have to let you grow up someday. Maybe try telling her that high school brings new things . Because high school is a whole different life and a new beginning. And if you are open to your mom she most likely won't take it the wrong way. Hopefully she'll listen to you, because I did it with my mom and she's actually given me a lot more privledges such as extending my curfew and letting me just go where ever.
    Good luck, and I hope it gets better.
    - Johna.
  • Aug 9, 2009, 02:50 PM
    hamworld05
    I see most everyone's a rule-breaker.
  • Aug 9, 2009, 04:39 PM
    HelpinHere

    Running at four in the morning? What ever for?
    First off, even if your mom allowed it, there is probably a minor curfew in effect, and if a law enforcement officer, both you and your mother will get into trouble. Just go out at six when the sun rises. Much safer, plus you won't trip as much.

    Second, wow, your mom cares! Why does it matter? Wouldn't you rather have her say "Call me if you need to" when you take the dog for a walk then "I don't care, just don't come home pregnant." She has to say something, and I don't see why you can't be satisfied with that.

    You claim you are more mature than she thinks. Trust me, I've been there. You aren't as mature as you think. If you were, you wouldn't have to say it, it would just show in the way you handle yourself.

    She is a mom, doing her job. As others have said, she loves you and wants the best. Regardless of what you think, she knows more about the world than you. Just get over yourself and be happy you have a mom who cares.
  • Aug 11, 2009, 03:32 PM
    J_9
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bandgeek121 View Post
    yes i have but i don't think i live really close, have you guys heard of antioch?

    Now I see why your mother won't let you out. You have already given TOO much personal info out. With this info, and your IP address (which is the same as THEpurplepeanut BTW), it would be a breeze for any pedophile to find out where you live and stalk you on your way home from school.

    I have a friend, please feel free to look her name up, Dean Marie Pyle Peters, (http://www.freewebs.com/find_dean_marie/), who came up missing in 1981. Before you were born and times were safer. She was at her school, my school, when she left to go to the bathroom never to be seen again.

    Now, how are you and THEpurplepeanut related?
  • Aug 12, 2009, 08:52 PM
    emzieXxX

    I think you should sit your mam down and tell her how you feel in a respective and mature tone. You got to remember is that she's your mam and she's only wanting the best for you. You really shouldn't go running at 4am though, you could always do it a bit later in the morning or early in the afternoon. I'm not tryna lecture you or anything, I'm only 16 and I still get lots of it from my parents so I know how you feel. But an experience I had made me realise how right they are to worry, I was at an u'18s disco and a girl was followed into the bathroom and was raped she came out screamin at people asking for help but no one could hear before I made my way over a bouncer helped her and from what I heard they boy was never got and the girl who was 15 hasn't returned to school or anything, she is traumatized, and who can blame her. It's a memory I will never forget, it taught me that anything can happen anywhere anytime and to anyone. Just remember your still young and your not ready to be out on your own, you need your mam to do the worrying because your too young to do it all yourself. I hope I've helped xxx
  • Aug 12, 2009, 09:03 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by emzieXxX View Post
    I think you shud sit your mam down and tell her how you feel in a respective and mature tone. U gotta remember is that she's ur mam and she's only wanting the best for you. You really shouldn't go running at 4am tho, u cud always do it a bit later in the morning or early in the afternoon. I'm not tryna lecture u or anything, I'm only 16 and I still get lots of it from my parents so I know how u feel. But an experience I had made me realise how right they are to worry, I was at an u'18s disco and a girl was followed into the bathroom and was raped she came out screamin at people asking for help but no one cud hear before I made my way over a bouncer helped her and from what I heard they boy was never got and the girl who was 15 hasnt returned to school or anything, she is traumatized, and who can blame her. It's a memory I will never forget, it taught me that anything can happen anywhere anytime and to anyone. Just remember your still young and ur not ready to be out on your own, you need your mam to do the worryin because your too young to do it all yourself. I hope I've helped xxx

    What's a mam? :confused:

    Also, could, isn't that what cows chew?

    Chat speak is against the rules of this site, just fyi.
  • Aug 12, 2009, 11:39 PM
    HelpinHere
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by emzieXxX View Post
    I think you shud sit your mam down and tell her how you feel in a respective and mature tone. U gotta remember is that she's ur mam and she's only wanting the best for you. You really shouldn't go running at 4am tho, u could always do it a bit later in the morning or early in the afternoon. I'm not tryna lecture u or anything, I'm only 16 and I still get lots of it from my parents so I know how u feel. But an experience I had made me realise how right they are to worry, I was at an u'18s disco and a girl was followed into the bathroom and was raped she came out screamin at people asking for help but no one could hear before I made my way over a bouncer helped her and from what I heard they boy was never got and the girl who was 15 hasnt returned to school or anything, she is traumatized, and who can blame her. It's a memory I will never forget, it taught me that anything can happen anywhere anytime and to anyone. Just remember your still young and ur not ready to be out on your own, you need your mam to do the worryin because your too young to do it all yourself. I hope I've helped xxx

    Please go read the rules, notably number two. I've provided a link so it's even easier.
    Ask Me Help Desk - FAQ: Terms of Service, FAQ and How To Use This Site

    Anyway, allow me to try to decipher this little number:
    Should > should
    Mam > mom ("Mam" is acceptable as "Mom" in some countries though, like "Pap" or "Pop".)
    U > you
    Your > your/you're
    Though > though
    Could > could
    Tryna > trying to
    u'18s > Believe it or not, that is the actual name! :D
  • Aug 12, 2009, 11:54 PM
    asking
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bandgeek121 View Post
    it's not about the running it is about my mom treating me like i'm going to make the same bad decisions SHE and HER SISTER made. it's about me needing some space and a chance to do what i want to do. she wouldn't even let me pick my own classes for high school. how do you think i feel?

    I can't speak to exactly how much your mother is overprotective. I think you shouldn't take her remarks about being careful etc too personally--or at least not as implicit criticism. I say that all the time to my kids (son, 16 and 20), and I am definitely not criticizing them. I'll just remind the older that it's Saturday night and there are lots of drunks on the road and to be careful--something like that.

    BUT I think you should be able to pick your own classes, for what it's worth. I did in high school. In fact, I picked all my own electives in junior high. I also grew up in the middle of a big city and bicycled to school every day. I got hassled by some creepy men (and learned to give them a wide berth), but I never got assaulted, never got raped, never got pregnant, didn't try drugs. I'm afraid I'm the only adult here who sees it your way. Unless you are being punished, I can't think of any reason to confine a 14 year old to the house all day. You need fresh air and exercise and friends.

    I think kids are over protected today, especially girls.

    Now I'm going to duck!
  • Aug 13, 2009, 12:01 AM
    HelpinHere

    Sorry, no ducks, only chickens here asking!

    Anyway, all I have to comment on what you said, is NO, they are not overprotected.

    Yes, they are protected more today than yesteryear, but the dangers are much greater, much more numerous, today than then.

    I do think that THIS one is over protected, just a little, but running at 4am is unnegotiable. The problem is, too many moms UNDERprotect their children. Those ones get caught, you see it on the news, and the protecting mothers become more protecting after hearing about another one.

    On the classes thing, in high school you should. I still believe it should all have parent approval, but, as far as I know, you can go to your school counceler and get it changed yourself. At least, that's how it is here.
    Anyway, why don't you ask her, "Mom, can I take [class name]?" and if she says no, ask why. If she says yes, then good for you.
  • Aug 13, 2009, 12:08 AM
    asking

    I'm not convinced it's more dangerous now. Everybody says that, but crime is down, stranger abductions are extremely rare and lower than in the 1970s.

    Rape is always a problem, but that's why girls and women need to think twice about running around at 4 am. Take a self defense class! Buy some pepper spray and learn to use it. Some police departments give classes in using pepper spray on an assailant.
  • Aug 13, 2009, 12:23 AM
    HelpinHere

    asking, where are you?
    Because, I know crime is up here in the states:
    Violent crime total by Forcible rape - Swivel
    http://www.swivel.com/graphs/image/2...?s=1250148109?

    Here you go, rape. That site has graphs for many crime rates, and all of them that could relate to the OP jogging at 4am are up. Some are down, on average, "crime" is down, but these types are up.

    You said it yourself, stranger abductions are down. That means that people who KNOW the victim have to be up. The OP states that she lives in a neighboor hood where EVERYONE KNOWS HER... you put it together. It's always the people you don't expect.
  • Aug 13, 2009, 07:32 AM
    asking

    HelpInHere,
    There's NO TIME SCALE at the bottom of your graph. I think you have misunderstood what this graph shows. It just shows how much of violent crime is rape.

    If there are 50 incidents of violence, 4 of them are rapes. If there are between 150 and 350 incidents of violence, about 12 of them are rapes. This just shows what proportion of violent crimes are rapes.

    If anything this shows that the more violence there is, the less of it is rape.

    Here's a graph whose X axis is TIME and it shows a decline in violent crime.
    Bureau of Justice Statistics Violent Crime Rate Trends

    And a table of figures showing more detail.
    Bureau of Justice Statistics Violent Crime Rate Trends

    The U.S. Department of Justice Statistics show that in 1973, the rate of rape in the United States was 2.5 per 1000 in the population over 12 years of age. In 2005, it had dropped to 0.5 per 1000. I don't see more recent figures, but the bottom line is that the rape rate in the U.S. is ONE-FIFTH what it was when I was growing up.

    We should be celebrating!
  • Aug 13, 2009, 08:18 AM
    asking

    Follow up:

    The rate of forcible rape has been down nationally for each of the last four years.
    Table 3

    The only places where the rate of rape has increased is in rural areas and small towns and in the Northeast.

    Alaska also has a higher than average rape rate.

    If I had to sum up from this, I'd say to avoid rape, stay away from small towns in cold places. :)
  • Aug 13, 2009, 11:40 AM
    HelpinHere

    Okay, I guess I did misread the graph. Thanks for that correction. I must have just thought that I know it's up, found a graph with the word rape and a positive inclination, and went with it. Sorry.

    But, still saying that I believe her mother's fears aren't unwarranted. Especially since, we don't know where she lives, and by how she describes her neighbors, it is either the best city in the country, a nice rural area, or a small town. Especially if she lives "in a neighborhood where everyone knows everyone", that just doesn't happen in the big city.

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