Ask Me Help Desk - Will he ever want to?

beth911, what grade are you in? You mentioned school. Do they have counselors there? I suggest going to see one. Meantime, how are your grades doing through all this? How is your mental and emotional health? Your last statement: "WHEN I SAY that I will NEVER GIVE UP on HIm, I MEAN IT"--and so many other similar comments in your original post--could cause a person who's made it clear they don't feel the same way to wonder if they should be looking into a restraining order. Please ask a counselor to help you find some balance before you topple right over that edge, okay?

Theirs one priceless thing I want. I know I can have it sooner or later if I keep trying all I can. No one wants to help though

And that is?

It's for him to stay with me FOREVER. Other people (like him) are keeping my dreams from coming true. But isn't it true that if you keep trying really hard to get something and you never give up, that eventually sooner or later, you'll get it?

Wondergirl, I also need help with my commas. I never really know where they go. I seem to think that they go everywhere. And like that. I don't know when some stuff is 1 or 2 words. Even all the way back to kindergarten, I can remember myself never paying attention and not doing my work.

J sent me another e-mail and he is VERY VERY mad that one of my friends talked to him so he said that he was going to tell the whole school stuff about me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by beth911

But isn't it true that if you keep trying really hard to get something and you never give up, that eventually sooner or later, you'll get it?

No, that's not true. If it were, my life would be totally different and I would be living in New Jersey.

I am more than glad to help you with commas.

Quote:

Originally Posted by beth911

J sent me another e-mail and he is VERY VERY mad that one of my friends talked to him so he said that he was going to tell the whole school stuff about me.

Tell J you're sorry about how you've been acting and that you are in the process of learning the right way to act toward him and toward other people.

That's all you say. Sign it with your first name, no "love" or anything else. No more emails or notes to him unless you first ask me what to say.

I just got another e-mail from J. He said he planned on joining the airforce for 2 years and then getting with me when he got out. By then, I would be 18 and more mature. He said he felt bad about me. Then he said, now that I have friends and talk about him he doesn't give a S*** anymore.

o, I just realized I'm talking about him now. What do I do?

He's obviously been checking his mail a lot lately. I'm the only one who e-mails to that address and he hasn't sent me an e-mail in like 3 months. I sent him one a few weeks ago and it took him forever to reply. Now its like he's just waiting to hear from me.

Do what I said in the post above.

Wondergirl, can you get on mesanger?

Just for a little while. I have to go to bed soon. I'm going there now.

Wondergirl I need to talk asap

I'm in the middle of baking Christmas cookies and have to pack them up. Maybe in 15 minutes.

OK sorry it took so long

Wondergirl, today my mom asked if he e-mailed me or anything and I told her the whole story. She said he'll be wanting to talk to me by the end of the week. Then she said if he's getting mad at me for stuff like that, he needs to grow up and maybe the airforce would do him some good for that.

I agree about his needing to growing up. You need to do the same thing. Like I told you, these two years might be what helps both of you.

I am afraid that during that time he will realize that he doesn't need me and is much better off without me and he will find someone else.

OR he might realize what a blessing you are in his life.

AND you might realize you don't need him and are much better off without him and you will find someone else.

Or you may grow up and realise you don't feel the same anymore, and have found someone else your interested in.

HE e-mailed me back and said that I never did enough for him... so I listed everything I did and everything he did and how I treated him and how he treated me

Quote:

Originally Posted by beth911

HE e-mailed me back and said that i never did enough for him... so i listed everything I did and everything he did and how i treated him and how he treated me

So, now the two of you are keeping score. That's like playing a game. Keeping score in relationships is something that kids might do, but not mature individuals. This gives further credence to the fact that a lot of growing up needs to happen.

Like my mom said... "hes playing games"

Quote:

Originally Posted by beth911
HE e-mailed me back and said that I never did enough for him... so I listed everything I did and everything he did and how I treated him and how he treated me

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clough
So, now the two of you are keeping score. That's like playing a game. Keeping score in relationships is something that kids might do, but not mature individuals. This gives further credence to the fact that a lot of growing up needs to happen.

Quote:

Originally Posted by beth911

Like my mom said... "hes playing games"

So, if indeed he is playing games, then you do have a choice as to whether to play or not to play. In those kinds of games, a mature person would choose not to play.

He's obviously immayure to start it, right? So why am I immature according to him just for going long with it... I mean look at how he is acting too. But he thinks he's so perfect. And if I was more mature, he would find another reason to hate me. He would call me fat and hate me because I'm not like him. I'm at average weight and I weigh 5 lbs more than him. Sorry about my typos. I'm sure thiers a lot.

Quote:

Originally Posted by beth911

he's obviously immayure to start it, right? So why am I immature according to him just for going long with it... I mean look at how he is acting too. But he thinks he's so perfect. And if I was more mature, he would find another reason to hate me. He would call me fat and hate me because I'm not like him. I'm at average weight and I weigh 5 lbs more than him. Sorry about my typos. I'm sure thiers a lot.

In your statement below, is this in reference to me or your boyfriend?

Quote:

Originally Posted by beth911
So why am I immature according to him just for going long with it...

He thinks I'm being immature, but he starts the games... I would be more than happy with out them

Then don't play them.

Just wish him well in his exciting new plan.

And don't bring up past and present bad things or even good things. The shorter and sweeter you are (without sarcasm), the nicer and more mature you appear to be. "J, I am so happy that you have made this decision. You will learn all sorts of new stuff, meet new people, and see the world! I envy you!"

Guy sounds like a 5th grade girl. No offense to 5th grade girls, but you guys know what you do.

He just sent an e-mail saying that the majority reasons why he things I am immature is that I cry when my pets die

He said I'm never their when he needs someone. Like how his cousin has cancer... he never told me his cousin has cancer.

Just be nice and remind him that females cry easily. They aren't tough like males are. Say, "Oh, J, I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin! I wish you would have told me!"

Remember, be pleasant, don't play games, don't sass back at him, just be nice, keep it short and friendly. That will drive him nuts and make him realize you are changing for the better. It will keep him interested. Of course, if you screw up...

If I screw up, what?
He seems really upset that I talked to that 1 girl.

I don't think he's going to talk to me. I really don't. He doesn't want anything to do with me.

Don't contact him. Wait. Be patient.

Do you think he will come to me though? Do you think he will just forget about me?He keeps saying how glad he is to leave me and everything.

Also, I know I shouldn't but I think I'm going to reset the password on his skype and get into it and find out who else he has on their. I also think that he may have blocked me but I don't know.

Wow, he really must be hiding a lot. I know he has other e-mail adresses I don't know about. I can figure out his password to just about anything but not skype and I don't know what e-mail address he has that for.

Beth, stop it!! That is being the worst kind of girlfriend! He doesn't deserve that kind of treatment.

What is it about your relationship with this boy that makes you feel good, Beth?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Beth, stop it!!! That is being the worst kind of gf! He doesn't deserve that kind of treatment.

What about how he treats me? He thinkd I don't do anything for him but I did a lot.