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-   -   What's the best way to tell my mom I'm pregnant (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=801529)

  • Oct 2, 2014, 07:30 AM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    I think I speak for a lot if not all of us that we really want the best for you and hope that this all turns out OK.
    Joy, is correct. If we didn't care about you and hope for the best, we wouldn't have come down as hard. It is important that this turns out well for you.
  • Oct 2, 2014, 02:07 PM
    musiclover217
    To scottgem and joypulv: I went to the school counselor today
  • Oct 2, 2014, 02:12 PM
    joypulv
    How did it go??????? Is she nice? What did she say??????
  • Oct 2, 2014, 02:52 PM
    musiclover217
    It went fine. Yes she's nice. She talked to both me and my mom (mostly my mom) she mainly said the same thing you've been telling me. She told my mom how important it is that I have her support right now
  • Oct 2, 2014, 02:59 PM
    DoulaLC
    Have you made a doctor's appointment yet?
  • Oct 2, 2014, 03:03 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Now you need to make an appointment to see a doctor.
  • Oct 2, 2014, 03:11 PM
    musiclover217
    Yes. We made an appointment
  • Oct 2, 2014, 03:26 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Good!
  • Oct 2, 2014, 04:15 PM
    joypulv
    Is your mother calming down and accepting this to the extent that she realizes that she has to help you get the support you need, even if not from her?
  • Oct 2, 2014, 04:17 PM
    musiclover217
    My mom is still upset with me, I can't blame her. She hasn't mentioned if she's going to help me or not
  • Oct 2, 2014, 04:27 PM
    joypulv
    But she's dropped the 'get out' I assume.
  • Oct 2, 2014, 04:36 PM
    musiclover217
    That's the problem I don't really know when I try to talk to her she doesn't answer
  • Oct 2, 2014, 05:17 PM
    Alty
    It's great that you're talking to someone that can help, and going to see a doctor.

    As a mom myself, to a daughter that's not munch younger than you, I know I'd be upset too. Not upset at her, but upset because I'm an adult, I know what it takes to raise a child, and I know that at her age, or your age, you just can't handle it. It would break my heart because no matter what, any decision she made would be difficult, would affect her for the rest of her life. I want to spare her pain, especially at her age, and I'd want to spare the unborn child pain as well.

    Abortion would be my first suggestion if you were my daughter, but like I said in another post, if you're past 3 months gestation, it's too late for that. Adoption would be my second suggestion. Keeping it would not be a suggestion at all, unless I adopted the child and raised it as my own. It just wouldn't even be an option at your age.

    Sorry, but I'm being honest, and I'm sorry if I came off as harsh before. I don't sugar coat things, but I didn't really stop to think that if you're telling the truth about all of this, you're just a child, and you're dealing with a whole lot right now. I'm sorry for that.

    Please continue counseling, talk to a counselor about your options. Like Synnen said, if you choose adoption, that's the ultimate sign of love. It means you love your child enough to let it have a good life, a life you can't, at 13, give it, no matter how much you want to.
  • Oct 2, 2014, 06:08 PM
    musiclover217
    Why would I lie about something like this
  • Oct 2, 2014, 06:47 PM
    DoulaLC
    You may have missed the questions that I had asked of you on an earlier post:

    1) When you took the pregnancy tests... how long did it take before you saw a positive result?

    2) How have you been feeling, and have you missed your periods or have they just been a bit irregular?

    3) What pregnancy test did you use?



    "Why would I lie about something like this" This is what you took from Alty's post?
  • Oct 2, 2014, 06:59 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Are you sure you're pregnant?
  • Oct 2, 2014, 07:26 PM
    musiclover217
    Yes I'm sure. To doulaLC: it take 3 minutes. I missed my period 3 or 4 months. I used first response
  • Oct 3, 2014, 02:23 AM
    joypulv
    How far along you are will be confirmed soon enough.

    I want to talk about your mother. She had you when she was too young. Motherhood robbed her of her fun and friends and learning and getting out in the world. She loved you, but she too believed it was all about an adorable loving little bundle of joy, not the reality of years and years of being tied to care of a baby, a toddler, a child, a teen, is a cold hard reality for a single young mother. She couldn't even meet nice men very easily - most of them run when they hear a woman has a child already. She loves you but resents you because of what SHE did, not because you are a horrible kid. She wanted you to not have to go through what she went through! She's all torn up inside.

    Maybe if you talk to her about adoption she will melt a little.
  • Oct 3, 2014, 05:39 AM
    musiclover217
    I'll try. Thank you joypulv
  • Oct 3, 2014, 07:47 PM
    Synnen
    Honey--Please don't let anyone PUSH you into adoption.

    I know it's hard to raise a kid, and virtually impossible at your age--but God as my witness, you need seriously counseling before you make ANY choices. I went into adoption with eyes wide open, and it was still SO HARD. As hard, in its own way, as being a parent. So--take your time with a decision.

    Do I think adoption is a good option for you? Absolutely. Do I think I (or anyone else) can tell you what the BEST thing for you is? Nope. Only YOU will know that.

    People keep throwing adoption at you, but don't let them push you into it. Do some research. Talk to a counselor. Figure out what YOU want.

    No matter what you do, it will be hard. There is no easy choice, and no choice--regardless your age--is any easier than another choice. They are ALL hard things to live with.

    Talk to your doctor, talk to your counselor, tell your mother you love her and respect her for HER choices, and hopefully she'll come around to support YOU.

    We're here to talk to. We don't want to judge you, and we don't want to tell you what to do (RIGHT, guys?). We just want you to have a safe place to talk and get help. We want you to do what's best for you--we CARE about you, even though we don't know you in person. Just take care of yourself, okay?

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